Integrity/Uprightness #2: (Context/Elements)

Introduction: The Importance of Integrity and Uprightness in Parental Admonition

0:01 How not to foul up the training of your children. This is cassette number 34 in a series given by Pastor Albert N. Martin in the adult Sunday school class of the Trinity Baptist Church on October 13, 1991. Now I trust that by now in our studies, which this morning is number 34 in this series, and I believe I've upgraded the number to its correct number after being told by one of the staff in the Trinity pulpit that I was one number behind.

0:38 But in our study this morning, I trust as we approach it, if you've been with us for any number of these, that you're convinced and are firmly rooted in the fact that Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4 is a watershed text with respect to parental responsibility. For in it, God the Holy Spirit says, And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord. And we learn, among other things, from that text, that the primary means which God is appointed to be used by parents for the nurture of their children are chastening and admonition. The first focuses upon that which is done to the children, in aggressively seeking to mold their character by the use of loving, wise, reasonable punishment in a context of fairness. And then the second focuses upon that which is said to the child. The first, what is done to the child.

1:51 The second, what is said to the child in an act actively attempting to mold his character by means of a full spectrum. A full spectrum of verbal instructions, warnings, reproofs, and encouragements. And for a number of weeks, we've been examining the major categories of concern found in that inspired manual of godly parental admonition, otherwise known as the book of Proverbs. And what we have discovered is that with admonitions, the fear of God is the foundation, the foundation of all else.

2:33 And that built upon that foundation of admonishing our children with respect to learning the fear of God, there are several dominant areas of concern that are again and again set before us. Such as listening to godly instruction, pursuing true knowledge and wisdom, being receptive to reproof, correction, and counsel, recognizing and avoiding moral defilement and those who would lead them into it, the righteous use of their tongues, avoidance of laziness, and the cultivation of diligence and industry, and the controlling of their spirits. And now the, I believe, what will be the last major category, I know we might go into what we would call financial perspectives as such, but they're really a subheading subheading under the avoiding, of laziness and the cultivation of diligence and industry and what we do with the fruits of that diligence and industry and we don't want this to in any sense be an attempt at exhaustedness i believe this will be the final excuse me trait of character which we will focus upon as being a dominant emphasis in the book of proverbs what we called yesterday a last lord's

3:56 day the necessity and blessing of walking with integrity and uprightness and if we're to follow the pattern of solomon with his son we are to urge upon our children the necessity and blessings of walking with integrity and uprightness now all we had time to do last week was to try to ascertain the meaning of these two words and we saw that the basic concept of integrity is the quality of being complete no essential moral element lacking from one's thought or action and uprightness means to be straight or even and unbending moral straightness so that integrity excuse me is moral wholeness and uprightness is moral straightness and their relatedness is seen in a number of passages in the book of proverbs and in the book of proverbs and in the book of passages we just looked at two of them one from psalms psalm twenty five twenty one let integrity and uprightness preserve me and then proverbs two and verse seven and then having seen that they are closely related we saw from other passages that the individual can know whether

5:15 or not he's walking in integrity david could say in psalm twenty six judge me oh lord for i have walked in my integrity and that was not at all inconsistent with his being conscious of sin and failure and need of god's grace but in the midst of it he could say that by the grace of god the pattern of his life was one of moral wholeness and straightness he had walked with integrity and uprightness indicating that the consciousness of these qualities and the profession and if necessary the protestation of them in the face of contrary allegations is not a matter of pride for when joel is accused again and again by his so-called friends that he must be a hypocrite because god does not bring such woes upon the righteous he blesses the righteous he curses openly wicked men and hypocritically wicked men give up your integrity job fess up own up that beneath this facade of being mr. righteous you were really mr. devious and though job confesses in two distinct places i don't know what god is doing and i can't

6:36 answer your allegations as to how this fits in to god's general patterns of dealings with his creatures but one thing i will not do i will not relinquish my integrity and he holds fast to his integrity and it is not a mark of pride but it is any substantial expression of this quality of moral holiness strengthness then we looked at most of the biblical witness concerning these graces inequality proverbs chapter to Fox temble ba sfta 3t chen ledust gang to lose hiselft chapter fourteen verse to обнаруж Sizum how did you get rid of the sandals of the church for conflict with the mother of god who started it had come from the sleeping of a 한번 creating a new world to stop the king from coming to his 이게 And now we come this morning to what I would call the capstone text, and then we're going to look at the example that I left you to look up if you had the time to do so, and then hopefully we will address two things and conclude our study on this subject, the indispensable context of teaching integrity to our children, and then secondly, the essential elements involved in teaching integrity and uprightness to our children. But let's look for a moment at what I would regard as the capstone text in the book of Proverbs

The Capstone Text and an Example of Integrity

8:02 with reference to integrity and uprightness. Proverbs 28 and verse 18. Whoso walketh uprightly shall be delivered, but he that is perverse in his ways, or he that walks perversely, shall fall at once. Here is God's promise that the man who walks uprightly shall be delivered.

8:38 He will have God as his deliverer many times in this present life, but if not fully in this life, in the age to come, God will vindicate the uprightness and the integrity of all who have truly walked before him in those qualities. But he that is perverse, he that is perverse in his ways shall fall at once. Often God makes that promise fulfilled in this life, but it surely will be fulfilled when he says to the perverse, depart from me ye cursed, and they shall fall at once into outer darkness, where there is weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. And then for that example of integrity that I left you to look up, and it's most interesting because it's found coming in the context of a man that we would regard a pagan. And we read in Genesis chapter 20 that when Abraham journeyed toward the land of the south and dwelt between Kadesh and Shur and sojourned in Gerar, that Abraham said of Sarah his wife, she is my sister. Now there was a half-truth.

10:01 She is my sister. A half-truth. But it was not a statement made in integrity with moral wholeness because it was meant to convey a whole truth and therefore became a whole untruth.

10:21 He would say that Sarah was his sister so that people beholding her beauty would not lust after her and therefore kill Abraham, get him out of the way, and take her to be a wife. She is my sister. And Abimelech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah. But God came to Abimelech in a dream of the night and said unto him, Behold, thou art but a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken for she is a man's wife.

10:56 Now Abimelech had not come near her and said, Lord will thou slay even a righteous nation? He is conscious that he has acted righteously. Said he not himself unto me, she is my sister? And she even herself said, he is my brother.

11:17 My perception of reality was that this woman was not any man's legitimate wife but merely a sister of this sojourner. Therefore when I sent to take her as my wife, I acted with moral wholeness. Moral wholeness and moral straightness. The law of God, the remains of which is stamped upon the heart of all men, finds one of its clearest expressions in the most degenerate of societies that though they may not look with much disfavor upon fornication, all look with great disfavor upon adultery.

11:56 The violating of the marriage covenant, the expression of the seventh commandment is deeply embedded even in some of the most degenerate of societies. And so this man says that in the innocence, I'm sorry she said he is my brother, in the integrity of my heart and the innocency of my hands, have I done this. So that he protests to God that because he acted with moral wholeness and straightness, it would not be just for God to punish him. It would not be just for God to punish him.

12:32 It would not be just for God to punish him. It would not be just for God to punish him. It would not be just for God to punish him. It would not be just for God to punish him.

12:34 It would not be just for God to punish him for that act. And God speaks back and God said unto him in the dream, Yea, I know that in the integrity of thy heart thou hast done this, and I also withheld thee from sinning against me, therefore suffered I thee not to touch her. Knowing that he had acted in the integrity of his heart, God either came by the dream on what would have been their wedding night, or God providentially said, Yea, I know that in the integrity of his heart thou hast done this, and I also answered him. Yea, I know that in the integrity of his heart, God did not come before thee to act in the integrity of his heart, nor could he come before thee to do these things, for if you wouldn't have done this then again, you would have told him that it had been the fight of fathers and not the fight of stאתh men. Yea, he would have told him about the death of his father, and he would have been記about, and said Theivesos knew. Because and� you could not, you would have done that. you could not, you would have told him that it had been the fight of fathers, with integrity and with uprightness. It does not always mean that our actions will be right in terms of the absolute standard of God's law. We may not rightly perceive the circumstances as in the case of Abimelech. He would have entered into an adulterous relationship but he acted with integrity of heart. He acted with moral wholeness and with moral straightness and

The Indispensable Context: Parental Integrity

14:02 constitutes a wonderful example of what integrity and uprightness are in the life of any man, any woman. Now then, if we're to seek to impart to our children this combination of graces or character traits, integrity and uprightness, I want us to address first the indispensable context of teaching integrity to our children. And here I refer to but one verse in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 28 and verse 13. One of the key texts. We did not look at it last week. We reserved it for today. Proverbs 28. I don't mean 2813. That's he that covers his sins. All right. I'm glad I have my notes here from last week. It is Proverbs 2818. No, that's not the text either. We'll find it. He that walks in his integrity.

15:13 Blessed are his children after him is the text that I want. 20 verse 7. Thank you. 20 and verse 7. Thank you. A righteous man that walks in his integrity. Blessed are his children after him. And this text more than any other shows that the indispensable context for teaching integrity to our children is that we are ourselves are marked by consistent integrity and uprightness in our own walk before God. You see that in the passage. He that not is always talking about integrity to his children. Blessed are such children.

16:05 But a righteous man that walks the overall pattern of his or her life is a pattern of integrity. And based upon this text which says the children who are reared in such a context where they have a living embodiment of the graces of integrity and uprightness, they are a blessed children. Whether or not they ever come to repentance and faith, they are blessed because they will have seen what integrity and uprightness are in the concreteness of the vast array of things in this life where integrity and uprightness are either manifested or their opposites are manifested. For example, blessed is that child who can remember that in all of the dealings with money, his father and mother acted with moral wholeness and straightness. He grew up, she grew up in a home where he never knew a time when the Lord did not get his portion off the top. Flush times, lean times, God always got his portion. I'm such a blessed child.

17:32 Remembering, as I've alluded to some of you privately and perhaps in times past publicly, but so many of you are new among us, it bears repetition, that one of the most important things in the life of a person is to remember that he or she was a child of God. One of the most vivid memories in my mind growing up in our home is that when we lived in Connecticut and then the family moved to Pennsylvania, that twice a month, the old upright piano, first it was an old player piano, then an old third, fourth hand upright piano that sounded terrible, miserably out of tune. And one of the great memories of that piano is not the sounds that it made, but that twice a month there would always be a sound that would make a sound. And I think that's one of the most vivid memories in my mind growing up in our home is that when we lived in Connecticut and then the family moved to Pennsylvania, that twice a month, the old upright piano, would always be a stack of envelopes sitting there where the little holder came up to hold the books, where my father would put all of the checks made out to the Christian organizations and the church that he supported with his tithes and his offering. And that is stamped upon my mind that a man of uprightness, a man of integrity, honors the Lord with his substance and the first fruits of all his iniquities. I did not grow up with a man who was trying to teach me devotion to God on Monday while he robbed

18:49 God when he got his paycheck on Tuesday. For refusal to give God the tithe according to Malachi 3 is robbing God. It is keeping back that upon which God has placed his own hand saying this is mine in a unique way. It's all mine and the giving of the tenth is the validation that you recognize my claims over all. Don't piously say, oh Lord, all I have is yours, you know it. God says, no, I'll know it when you give me that particular portion which I uniquely claim for myself out of your substance the same way when you say, all my time is the Lord. God says, all right, let's prove it. Give me that one day that is peculiarly marked out for me. Blessed is the

19:40 Son who as a wage earner has had that model of integrity. He has had that model of integrity. He has had that model of integrity and uprightness stamped upon his consciousness growing up so that the thought of not giving to God his portion in lean times and in difficult times is as abhorrent and unthinkable as chasing another woman. The use of money, honesty to a penny, being sent back to the store because my mother discovered that when they added up, and that's back in the day, days when there was a pencil on a brown paper bag and everything was added up, that she checked it and found out that there was 32 cents more in change than should have been and I had to run back to the store and tell the store owner, you overpaid us 32 cents. Then I could go back with a good conscience and show him another time he added and charged us the dollar 20 too much. You see, it worked both ways because there was integrity, moral wholeness. I was never afraid if I saw a letter coming from the IRS that somehow my father was going to be audited and then his cheating on Uncle Sam would bring embarrassment and financial hardship. If

21:05 any such letters ever came, they never would have troubled my father. I have nothing to hide. I have acted with integrity and uprightness in the filling out of my 1044 now that's what it means to provide a context to the words that I have to read. He read the following for the public.

21:22 of integrity and uprightness in your handling of money. Blessed are your children if they have that. Do they have that? Will they be able to rise up and say of you what I can say of my parents?

21:33 I know the truth of this text. Will your kids say it? If not, why not? You're cheating on God's portion.

21:44 You stuff the $5 back in your pocket when someone's rung up a wrong amount. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. You don't think your kids see that?

21:52 Oh, yes, they see it. And then they see you sitting, singing in church. Oh, how I love Jesus. Oh, how I love thy law.

22:00 And they say, well, whatever that means, it doesn't touch your pennies and your dimes and your tithe.

22:06 Moral incompleteness and moral crookedness. Cursed are your children after you. Because they think true religion is consistent with the absence of integrity and uprightness. Then in the area of attitudes to work, how crucial this is.

Examples of Parental Integrity in Daily Life

22:27 That if we are acting with... Integrity.

22:30 Moral wholeness. How will we view work? Not as a necessary evil to be endured. To get enough money to do where the real actions act.

22:38 Namely, leisure and play. But we'll look upon our callings as noble means whereby we glorify God in the home or in the marketplace. Whatever our task is. And whatever our hand finds to do.

22:50 The scripture says we are to do with all of our might as unto the Lord and not as unto men. And because there is moral wholeness. And straightness. In giving eight hours work for eight hours pay.

23:04 Our children see that. Blessed are such children. Who absorb a biblical concept of the nobility of labor. From the father and mother who manifested in their own patterns of life.

23:20 Willingness to own sin. Blessed are the children. Who have parents who when they have plainly sinned. By losing their temper.

23:28 Were one with another. And spoke in angry words that the children could hear. Would never dare think of going to bed. Until they had spoken to one another.

23:39 And made it right. And then gathered the children together. And said you heard mommy and daddy speaking words that were sharp. And were not like the Lord Jesus.

23:48 We've asked him to forgive us. We've asked one another forgiveness. And we ask you children to forgive us. A daddy who loves his wife as Christ loves the church doesn't talk.

23:59 To his wife the way you heard me talk to mommy. And I want you to know it's been confessed. Do you do that? Do you do that?

24:10 Now wait for the next question. I want you to answer before God. In the theater of your heart. With an answer that will stick in God's court.

24:20 Are you doing that?

24:23 Yes or no? If not. Then you're not walking with integrity and uprightness. In the matter of willingness to own your sin.

24:33 Then in the matter of moral purity.

24:40 A righteous man that walks in his integrity. Blessed are his children after him. What a wonderful thing. To be able to say that as close as I was to my father.

24:52 On many occasions in the presence of other women. I can never, never remember once. A leering glance at a woman's legs behind her breasts. Never once.

25:08 Never. But a blessed thing to know a man. Can make his way through this world. Without eyes full of adultery.

25:19 Because you've seen the example of moral wholeness and straight. Are you providing that for your children?

25:32 That's what it's talking about. The righteous man that walks in his integrity. Blessed are his children after him. Integrity at the table.

25:44 So they see an example of a godly attitude to food and drink. They see. They see. They see.

25:49 They see. They see. They see. They see.

25:49 They see. They see. They see. They see.

25:49 They see. They see. They see. They see.

25:50 They see. They see. They see. They see you eating with delight.

25:52 Receiving God's gifts that are given to enjoy. They see you if you use alcoholic beverages with the utmost of moderation. Never seeing a red eye or a slurred speech or giddiness and silliness that indicate there's too much alcohol in your brain.

26:15 They have seen a man who has acted with integrity to his plate and to his bottle. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children.

26:28 Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children.

26:32 Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children.

26:36 Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children.

26:40 Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children.

26:44 Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children.

26:48 Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children.

26:52 Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children. Blessed are the children.

The Warning of Hypocrisy: Do What They Say, Not What They Do

26:56 ourselves right smack in the context of Matthew 23 where Jesus speaks his most scathing words probably his most scathing words ever spoken in his earthly ministry to whom does he speak them not to harlots and to publicans and to the riffraff of Jerusalem and the larger regions of Palestine but he speaks to the religious leaders then said Jesus to the multitudes and to his disciples saying the scribes and pharisees sit on Moses seat all things therefore whatsoever they bid you these do and observe but do not ye after their works for they say and do let me give an application paraphrase of this to the thing we're talking about then said Jesus to the multitudes and to his disciples saying the scribes and pharisees sit on Moses seat

27:54 Jesus to the multitudes and to children of professing Christian parents your fathers and mothers sit on the seat of the old and the new covenants they teach you the scriptures all things therefore whatsoever they bid you these do and observe for they are teaching you the scriptures and the scriptures do not rest on their authority but mine but I warn you children don't do after their works for they say and they do not and if they're teaching you integrity and uprightness don't think that what they do is an expression of it you better learn it from Daniel and you better learn it from Joseph and you better learn it from other Bible characters because you will never learn it by their example dear people I can think of nothing nothing more shameful for anyone in any God given pastor the pastor position of teaching authority whether it's parents to children pastors to the flock than to have the Lord say do what they say but don't do what they do

29:11 what an indictment oh may God help us as parents to do anything short of sin to obtain and maintain a context of teaching integrity to our children that will be reflective of this text in Proverbs. The righteous man, the righteous woman who walks in his or her integrity, blessed are his or her children. Well, if that's the context, then what are the essential elements involved in teaching the moral qualities of integrity and uprightness to our children? And I wrestled with this thing. I looked up the indices in my Puritan works under integrity and uprightness. Got a little help from one passage in O in Volume 6, but I eventually was just shut up to say, Lord, help me to try to exegete whatever I know of this, and it's precious less than I'd like to know experimentally. It seems

Essential Element 1: God's All-Seeing Eye

30:22 to me, and this is a matter of human judgment, but I believe each tenet can be supported from the scriptures, that if we're to teach the moral qualities of integrity and uprightness to our children, by the grace of God having established and maintaining at any cost the context of our own moral integrity and uprightness, that we must be constantly reminding them of four basic categories of biblical truth, so that in the emergence of their understanding and their psyches and the interaction of what they know with what they are, they can understand what they are and what they are becoming. These things, as it were, are woven into the very texture of their being, whether or not they ever become effectually implanted in regeneration or glued on the outside by common grace. That's how I like to look upon the restraining influence of common grace. God glues certain principles on the outside. When He regenerates people, He makes them living principles on the inside. But we'll

31:27 settle for any influence. Internal living principles or external living principles are externally glued. Nonetheless, this is our task. And here they are.

31:38 1. Constantly remind them of the ever-present, all-seeing eye of God upon them. Constantly remind them of the ever-present, all-seeing eye of God upon them. Proverbs 15.3 The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding not all things, but

32:03 specifically, it says in this text, beholding the evil and the good. God's eyes behold every act that is done in moral integrity and uprightness. God beheld Abimelech. He said, I saw you take her, and I knew the state of your heart. You did it with integrity. But you had false information, so I'm going to intervene and keep you from sinning. What a beautiful example. 1. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding not all things, but specifically, it says in this text, beholding the evil and the good. God's eyes behold every act that is done in moral integrity and uprightness. God's eyes behold every act that is done in moral integrity and uprightness.

32:33 2. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding not all things, but specifically, it says in this text, beholding the evil and the good. God's eyes behold every act that is done in moral integrity and uprightness. How we need constantly to remind our children of the ever-present, all-seeing eye of God upon them. Teach them such text as Proverbs 15.3, Hebrews 4.13.

32:48 3. Neither is there any creature that is not manifest, fully known in his sight, for all things are naked and open before the eyes of him with whom we have to do. 4. Memorize with them Psalm 139.

33:01 5. Thou hast searched me and known me. me. Thou knowest my down-sitting, my uprising. Thou understandest my thought afar off. Not a word in my tongue, but, O Lord, thou knowest it all together. Wherever I am, whatever I do, whatever I think, an all-seeing eye is upon me. I'll never forget some of you who go back, way back, three decades, who remember old Mr. Stenekes. He was a rough, cursing, profligate sailor, a Dutchman by birth and by rearing. And he went out to sea as a young man, and he said his father put his hand upon him, and his last words were, Son, never forget, there's an all-seeing eye upon you. And he said no matter how deep he went into sin, he could never escape that eye until running from God and truth and hiring out on a ship to come over here to the States. Do you know what happened?

34:00 No sooner did he get through Ellis Island and land on a street in New York, you know it was there, someone back when the Salvation Army was much more concerned with souls than with money. It was a Salvation Army officer standing on a platform preaching the gospel. And old Mr. Stenekes said, The eye of God followed me when I left my home and went down into the ship, across the ocean, into the shores of America. I can no longer run from such a God. And he was marvelously converted, lived and died in the triumphs of grace, and the memory of the righteous is blessed. Just seeing his face before me now fills me with joy and with longing to see him when I cross the river that he's already crossed some years ago. We need to impress that upon our children, both for their conviction and their comfort.

34:53 You see, that was Job's comfort, that whatever these people were saying, he knew it didn't accord with reality. I'm a hypocrite, but I know I'm not a hypocrite, and God knows I'm not. Therefore, I hold to my integrity. You see, that truth of constantly reminding of the ever-present all, seeing eye of God upon them, should not only be a prod to conviction, but also a source of comfort.

Essential Element 2: God's Future Judgment

35:25 When what you do is misconstrued by others, dear, remember, God saw the integrity of your heart. Secondly. We must constantly remind them of the future judgment of God when all things will be made known. Not only constantly remind them of the ever-present all, seeing eye of God upon them, but constantly remind them of the future judgment of God when all things will be made known.

35:56 And here, two pivotal texts in Luke 12, verses 1 and 2, a text that we may hear again tonight more fully. But just to refer to it, our Lord is warning his own disciples against the painful influence of the leaven of the Pharisees and the scribes. And he says that leaven is hypocrisy, appearing to be one thing when in reality you're another and doing it deliberately. That's hypocrisy, wearing a mask.

36:31 And he says, beware of that leaven, and here's the greatest antidote against the absence of integrity. There is nothing covered up that shall not be revealed, and hid that shall not be known. Whatever you may think you're covering before the eye of men, there's a day coming when it shall be fully known. It's a wonderful thing so to live, and I sat playing with these phrases, to be able to say what you see is what is.

37:04 And what is, is what I want you to see. And what I want you to see. And what I want you to see is what God demands you should see.

37:14 It's a wonderful thing when there is no disparity between the intention of the heart, the manifestation of the deed, and the perception of that deed by others. Walking with integrity and uprightness. And if anyone thinks that any other kind of life, no matter how effective his perverseness may be with others in this life, that he's getting away with it. Jesus said, no.

37:43 If you don't take my warning to heart, and seek to be rid of all mask wearing, all appearing to be something you're not, remember a day is coming when God will pick off every last mask on every face. If the warning doesn't do it, hopefully the contemplation of that day will. And we need to impress this upon our children. Integrity and uprightness may lead to an extra spanking.

38:13 Yes, but far better to be morally whole and straight and tell the truth and get a spanking than put on the mask of innocence. Who are you talking about, Dad? I don't know. Tell me anything about it.

38:27 Nothing covered that shall not be revealed.

38:33 Nothing covered that shall not be revealed. Nothing hid that shall not be made known. And when you're trying to sort out matters where you've got your kids doing what two people are doing on national television. Both under oath, swearing that they're telling the truth, you need to bring to bear upon the consciences of your children this truth, that the God of truth in the last day will make the truth known.

38:58 And that should not only produce conviction and be a prod to honesty, integrity, uprightness, but you should be comforting as well. And don't have time to look at it in detail, but I commend 1 Corinthians 4, 3 to 5. Paul took this truth as comfort when some were misjudging his motives. And he said, I don't know.

39:16 I don't know. I don't know his intentions. He said, it's a very little thing if I be judged if you are of man's judgment. Now, did that mean he was insensitive and indifferent to how people treated him?

39:25 Of course not. He speaks in some places. He says, I tell you now, even we people, they are the enemies of the cross of Christ. He could write to churches and say, I'm scared that I've bestowed labor upon you in vain.

39:39 This whole idea that Paul was some great colossus with half his emotional nerve endings cauterized who didn't feel. Not a man. Not a man who says, God who comforts those that are downcast, comforted us by the coming of titan. I was so anxious for you Thessalonians.

39:56 It got so distracting. It was taking away sleep and food. And I just had to send Timothy as much as I hated to send my beloved. I had to send him to find out what your state was.

40:08 For no other reason to get relief. So when Paul says, it's a very little thing if I be judged if you are of man's judgment, that didn't mean he was above hurt feelings when he was misjudged. A feeling of outrage. Anyone who reads that in, that is not the teaching in the scriptures.

40:24 But what he's saying is, relatively speaking, it's a very little thing. If I be judged by you or of man's judgment, he that judges me is the Lord. Therefore, judge nothing. Don't pass final sentence on what I am and what I'm doing and while I'm doing it until the day come when the Lord shall make manifest the secrets of the heart.

40:46 And then shall each man who, like myself, has been a true servant of Christ out of true motives, then shall each man have his praise from God. And so you need to impress upon your children, look, you may walk with uprightness as Abimelech was. Suppose God didn't send a dream. Suppose God had not arrested him and people would come along and judge him and say, you're an open-faced, calculated adulterer and white stealer.

41:16 He could say, I am no such thing.

41:20 Yes, you are. I didn't. No. Yes, you did.

41:27 I did not.

41:29 And the day will declare.

41:33 You see what a comfort it is. Then you don't spend the rest of your life either in bitterness or wasting all your time trying to sort out everyone's opinion about you. You see, back with integrity and leave the consequences with God. And you can if you know there's a day of judgment.

Essential Element 3: Honing Conscience with God's Law

41:52 So that's why we need constantly to remind our children of the ever-present all-seeing eye of God upon them, if we're to impart the graces of integrity and uprightness. Constantly remind them of the future judgment of God when all things will be made known. But thirdly, we must constantly hone their consciences with the law of God. Consciously hone their consciences with the law of God.

42:20 By the law comes the knowledge of sin. We know that the law is holy and the commandment just. And law is spiritual and the commandment just and holy and good. How are they going to have moral wholeness and straightness if they do not have an accurate perception of the standard of morality demanded by God?

42:47 And the epitome of that standard, its synthesis, and its most condensed expression is in the Ten Commandments. And we need, by the grace of God, to constantly hone the consciences of our children by the law of God. At least teach them the shorter catechism in its entirety. Yes, but if you've got to begin somewhere with this matter of the law of God, start with the section on the law of God.

43:19 And seek to bring that truth home continually, that this is not mommy and daddy's standard, this is not society's standard, that God, before, before whose eye you live, it is His standard, and by that standard you'll be judged in the last day.

Essential Element 4: Pointing to the Gospel

43:39 And then the fourth element involved in teaching integrity and uprightness is constantly point their minds and their hearts. And I wrestled. Shall I put hearts? Can we point a heart?

43:53 Yet I see in the scripture admonitions. My son, give me thy heart. Rend your heart and not your garment. So I said, yes.

44:03 It's right to include it. Constantly point their minds and hearts. You may not be able to move their minds and hearts, but point their minds and hearts to the gospel of God.

44:16 And you see, if you do the first three without the fourth, they'll never walk with integrity. Constantly point their minds to the gospel of God, because if they begin to live with any sense God's eye is upon me, even my thoughts, wherever I am, whatever I'm doing, and all that God sees will be made known in the day of judgment, and what he sees of what I think and feel and do is judged by the high inflexible standard of his law, they will very early begin to develop a deep consciousness of sin. And it'll be a catch-22 if you don't show them how to deal with guilt. Because the more they try to walk in integrity, the more they're going to see their sin. And there'll be a kind, a kind of emotional self-defense to start cauterizing their conscience, because the burden of that sin will be too great to bear, and they'll think that attempting to walk in integrity and uprightness is a way of misery and bondage, unless you constantly point their minds and hearts to the gospel. So that when with integrity they come and say, Daddy, you weren't there, Mommy wasn't there, but this is what I did, and only God saw it. And I know God saw it.

45:37 What do I do? The scripture says, It is the blood of Christ that cleanses the conscience from dead works to serve the living and the true God. You see, the thought of serving a forgiving God who demands such a high standard of morality is a delight for the forgiven sinner. But it's miserable for the unforgiven sinner.

46:03 Who wants to serve a God who's standard is way up here and sees every deviation is going to bring it into judgment. You want to run from a God like that. It's exactly what men will do in the day of judgment. That's why they're going to cry for rocks and hills and mountains to fall on them.

46:21 And we do not want to create a generation of kids who have an aversion from God, because with our teaching of integrity, we did not constantly point their minds and hearts to the gospel of God. Hebrews 9.14 is clear. It is the blood of Christ, Christ that cleanses the conscience to serve the living and the true God.

46:46 And in the gospel alone is the source of power and effective motivation to walk with integrity and uprightness. When it says the gospel is the power of God unto salvation, involved in that power is not only power to forgive and to give them a righteousness that will stand the scrutiny of the eye of God, but power to defend, throne the reign of sin, power to fill their young hearts with motives such as 2 Corinthians 5 and verse 14, the love of Christ and strength. If Jesus died for the sin of cheating, am I prepared to rub salt in his wounds just to get an A instead of a B? What a motive to help your kid keep his eyes straight ahead on his own test in the classroom next door. What a motivation when the kids say, hey, hey, look what we found. Come look at this magazine with us.

47:51 If the child has a sense that Jesus died for the sins of uncleanness that are perpetrated by looking at pornography in a girly magazine, to say, shall these eyes look upon that which caused Jesus to groan and to bleed upon the cross? When dealing with your children in areas where you have found them to be walking contrary to, uprightness and integrity, it is not enough to remind them that God saw and God will judge and to point out their sin by God's standard, but constantly point their minds and hearts to the gospel of God. And I say, whatever else is involved in walking in integrity and uprightness, at least those four things are involved. May God by his spirit bless our efforts. Pass on. These virtues, these moral qualities to our children, starting in the consciousness that by the grace of God, the context to do it is set.

Conclusion and Application for Singles

49:02 The righteous that walks in his integrity, blessed are his children after him. Are you walking in integrity? Is the context there? You who are not married and you're wondering what are you looking for in a wife or husband?

49:19 Well, let me say, how's this for starters? As you're looking for qualities, look beyond the breadth of the shoulders or the size of the waist and the shape of the hips and other externals. Look for the qualities of integrity and uprightness.

49:41 Because if you're going to have blessed children, you better take a partner who is committed to those moral qualities. And where will it be shown? Be shown very early in your dating relationship. Is this man seeking to pause?

49:57 You know me? First night we've gone out, he's not a man of integrity and uprightness. Drop him like a hot cake.

50:05 If she snuggles up,

50:08 wants you to feel the warmth of her body next to hers to set your motors going, run from her. She's not a virtuous woman. I'm not saying she's a slut or a harlot, but she has much to learn in terms of the virtue of uprightness and integrity. How's that for starters?

50:28 Look for those qualities. I tell you, they'll take on your law, long way down the road of a happy marriage, long after gravity's pulled some chins down, put some wrinkles in, and added a little blubber on the hips, and having three or four kids has made the tummy sag a little bit. I tell you, you don't see those things. When the noble qualities of uprightness and integrity shine brighter and brighter, your beloved will become more beautiful with her wrinkles and her sags.

51:06 And you'll become more handsome and desirable, and you'll become more beautiful with her wrinkles and her sags. And you'll become more handsome and desirable, with your lumps and bumps, too.

51:13 Yeah, some of us old-timers have been married a long time. They're smiling and shaking their heads. Amen? Amen.

Prayer and Benediction

51:19 May God help us. Well, our time is up. I trust the Lord will bless the things we've considered together concerning these vital matters of integrity and of uprightness. Let's pray together.

51:36 O our Father, how we thank you that we have the Scriptures as a lamp unto our feet and a light to our pathway. Where would we be in this poor, dark world of sin without the light of the Scriptures? O our Father, we thank you. And yet while we thank you, we tremble.

52:02 For we know that this very hour there are millions who've never seen a page of the Bible in their own language, and that to whom much is given of him shall much be required. And we pray that in an age of moral, moral perversity, where integrity and uprightness are almost museum concepts, will you not grant us a holy baptism of these graces, and grant us, O Lord, every element essential that these graces might grow and flourish in us, and then that we may, by example and precept, seek to impart them to our children. Lord, we have seen in recent days the heartache, the horrible fruits, when integrity and uprightness fall in the street. O may this warning be a prod to us. Help us, help us, O God, we pray. Seal your word to our hearts.

53:04 Make every parent and grandparent wise in the application of these things. And the singles who are setting their sights on what they're looking for in a future mate, Lord, purge their minds of all worldly concepts, of what they ought, what they ought to be looking for. And may they think your thoughts after you. Give us, we pray, a generation of men marked by integrity and uprightness, and women who walk with integrity and uprightness, that we may have children who are blessed after us.

53:40 Hear our cry, and answer us for Jesus' sake. Amen. You have been listening to How Not to Foul Up the Training of Your Children by Pastor Albert N. Martin.

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