Like as a Father

Introduction: Setting the Context of Paul's Ministry

0:03 We turn again this morning to Paul's letter to the church of Thessalonica, 1st Thessalonians, and resume our studies in the second chapter of this letter.

0:28 Our text for the morning, chapter 2, verses 11 and 12. As ye know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children, that ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory. Just briefly, by way of review, I would seek to set these two verses in the larger context of chapters 1 and 2.

1:05 Chapter 1, you'll remember Paul's description of thanksgiving to God for that which he, in sovereign grace, had wrought in Thessalonica. As Paul thinks of all the ways...

1:17 ...wonderful things that have happened at Thessalonica, the reflex action of his heart is to praise and thank his God, and to attribute all the success of the gospel ministry in Thessalonica to the mercy and grace of God.

1:34 So that the principle we learn from that paragraph of praise is that the gospel succeeds in individuals and in communities only to the extent that God, in his good pleasure, is pleased. To make it succeed. So that of him, and through him, and unto him, is the glory forever and ever. But, chapter 2 then, confronts us immediately with the kind of people through which God is pleased to accomplish such mighty triumphs of his grace.

2:08 And, in a general way, chapter 2, through at least to verse 12, could be entitled, The Marks of the Kind of a Minister and Ministry. By which God accomplishes his purposes of grace. So that we must never, as it were, rest upon our leaves, take our hands off the oars, and say, well, since the gospel can only succeed when God, in his good pleasure, deigns to make it succeed, and be careless and shoddy in our own discharge of ministerial responsibility, whether it's from the pulpit, or the home, or to the neighbor, to the work associate,

2:48 we must seek to emulate these characteristics of the true minister and the true ministry, as set forth in the second chapter. We have already considered a number of those things that characterized Paul and his associates, which comprise the marks of a true minister and of a true ministry. In the first part of that second chapter, we had those very masculine characteristics of boldness and fearlessness, and an unflinching attachment to truth and purity of motive. And then that feminine, beautifully feminine characteristic of gentleness that he mentions in the seventh verse,

3:31 the gentleness of a nursing mother with a child that has come from her own womb and draws its life from her own breast. And the summation of that whole section is basically this. As Paul ministered to men, he was far more, concerned with the discharge of his responsibility in the sight of God, than he was concerned about what he received from those to whom he ministered. Last week, we saw in verse 10, the indispensable mark of true godliness, that there is no true ministry unless the truth ministered is embodied in the one who ministers it.

The Simile of the Father: Understanding the Likeness

4:14 And now, this morning, we come to verses 11 and 12, particularly verse, 11. Ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children, that ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you into his kingdom and glory. A better translation of this verse is that found in the Revised Standard Version, in which the text is rendered as follows. For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted, each one of you, and encouraged and charged you, to lead a life worthy of God,

4:56 who called you into his own kingdom and glory. Now, at the very outset, I'm sure many of you can see a contrast with verse 7. In verse 7, he likens his ministry to that of a nursing mother. Now, in verse 11, he likens that ministry to a directing, a direct, exhorting father.

5:24 Now, first of all, let us consider the likeness that he uses here. For you know how, like a father with his children. Paul is using a figurative speech, which you junior high school students, who are listening to your English teacher, can tell me is a simile. We did something amongst you that was like a father with his children.

5:50 Now, a simile is used, in order to clarify a certain truth or statement. But the simile does that only if you understand the figure that's used. Let me illustrate. If I were to say, that a certain lawyer handled the defense's objections in court, like a shifty halfback, wending his way through the secondary, that would mean nothing to you, unless you knew something about football.

6:19 Now, if you played football, that would say worlds, because you can picture that snaky-hipped halfback, just as the guy's about to nail him with a tackle, giving him a little shift to the hip and a straight arm, and making his way through. But if you know nothing about football, I might as well be talking Chinese, to say that the lawyer handled the objections of the defense, like a shifty halfback, wending his way through the secondary. My simile does not communicate, unless you understand the figure that I use. Now, I might say, and this would mean nothing to a number of you, younger fellows and girls here, I might say that the man came into the house, huffing and puffing and wheezing like an old steam engine.

7:01 Well, unless you've seen a steam engine coming to a halt, or just beginning to start somewhere, and have heard its huffing and puffing and its wheezing, that doesn't communicate to you. Well, when Paul wrote to the people at Thessalonica, he apparently could assume that when he said, like a father, exhorting, comforting, and charging his children, that these people had at least a somewhat adequate picture of a father who did these things. Frankly, if Paul were writing to us today, I don't believe he'd use this simile.

7:40 For there has been such a breakdown of an embodiment of the Biblical concept of the father's role in the home, that this simile, doesn't, doesn't communicate any more to most of us, than my simile about a snake-hipped half-back communicates to someone who wouldn't know a football from a basketball. And so I believe in order to catch the thrust of Paul's teaching here, we've got to pause just a moment and bring into focus what the Scripture teaches about the father that Paul is using here as an illustration of his own ministry. In brief,

8:22 what is the role of a father as set forth in the Scriptures? Now remember, this is not a sermon on the role of a father. All we're trying to do is understand the phrase, You know how like a father with his children. And we've got to know what that likeness is.

The Biblical Role of the Father

8:39 First of all, the Scripture sets forth the father as the head and ruler of his household. In Ephesians chapter 5, the Scripture says very distinctly that he is the head of his wife as the church is subject to christ so the husband is the head of the wife as christ is the head of the church it's a headship granted dispensed in love a headship administered in the climate of tender condescending love but a headship nonetheless how much you infuse it with love and discipline it with grace and charge it with tenderness it's still a headship and the

9:23 concept of authority and rule cannot be bled out of the teaching of scripture well in first timothy 3 we find the same concept with regard to the whole household not only the wife but speaking of the requirement for the elder the bishop the spiritual rulers within the church the apostle said he should have his children in subjection he is to rule well his own household that's the concept of authority and rule cannot be bled out of the teaching of scripture every husband is to rule but in an unusual way those who would be spiritual leaders must exemplify that they are filling well the role that is the role of every husband and father

10:06 but they must exemplify the ideal in their own lives so basically then the role of the father is that of head and ruler of the household and in this position he sets the standards of the household and he sets the standards of the household and he sets the standards of the household and administers the training of the children ephesians 6 and verse 4 says fathers rear your children in the nurture and admonition of the lord in hebrews 12 verses 7 9 and 10 it speaks of the lord's chastening under the likeness of the father

10:47 not the mother but the father who chastens the son in whom he delights and then paul goes on to say we had fathers after the flesh who chastened us as it seemed good unto them so in summation and this is just in a very very boiled down the summarized way the role attributed to the father in the scriptures is that of the head and director of his household the administrator of the principles of godliness of discipline and of training and the wife and her functions and the children all of them come under the headship of the husband and the father and in those duties

11:31 he's to discharge them with earnestness with compassion with authority in the fear of god now i hope paul's simile communicates a little more effectively granted it's far easier to take you out to a football game and when a halfback does that say see what he's doing now that's what the lawyer did that's better one day he's going to be able to do that and he's going to be able to picture is better than a thousand words but uh i can't take you into a home and let you watch for the next month so that you learn what it means when he said as a father so all i can do is try to describe it to you in this brief way from the scriptures so much then for the likeness stated

The Likeness Expanded: Marks of Fatherly Ministry

12:13 now let us consider the likeness expanded paul did not say quoting again from the rsv for you know how like a father with his children we conducted ourselves in general but he specifically lays out how this fatherly conduct expressed itself so having considered the likeness as it is stated let's look at it as it is expanded by the apostle paul what was involved in this ministry that had a fatherly quality about it well in the first place he says it was marked by individual attention to each believer and this is very

12:56 strong in the original we could translate it literally we exhorted each and every one of you very strong word like as a father administers his role to his children with individual attention and concern so paul says we as we stood amongst you discharged our responsibility in the gospel and it had this mark about it individual attention to each believer and this is very strong in the original we could translate it as individual attention and concern to each one of you if you read the narrative of how the

13:34 church was founded at thessalonica in act seventeen you'll notice that it began with a group ministry paul would go into the synagogue this was his custom and a group of either proselytes from gentile communities or jews who were in that area would be there and on a group basis paul would open up the scriptures seeking to demonstrate and prove that jesus was the christ but it says a little bit later that some believed and they consorted with paul and silence they joined themselves to them and no longer now was it simply what we might call group evangelism

14:14 once there was that response there was individual attachment to these who have been brought into a position of faith and repentance and paul affirms in other places that this individual concern was one of the perpetual marks of his own ministry in the twentieth chapter of acts gathering the ephesian elders together paul reviews his ministry of some three plus years amongst them and he says in acts twenty and in verse twenty six i take you to record this day that i am pure from the blood of all men for i have not shunned to declare unto you the whole counsel of god now how did he do it

14:58 well he says i taught you publicly verse twenty one and from house to house repentance toward god in faith toward our lord jesus christ and then down in the thirty first first he says therefore watch and remember that by the space of three years i cease not to warn everyone it's the same phrases you have in thessalonians every one of you individually night and day with tears so the first mark then of the ministry that is characterized by this fatherly concern

15:40 is individual attention to each one who is being ministered unto secondly paul says there was varied instruction to each child not only individual attention but varied instruction notice the three words he uses we were among you as a father with his children exhorting encouraging and charging you now with the view that we hold of scripture i trust we hold it paul wasn't just uh... being a little bit verbose and redundant and had a little extra

16:21 ink in his quill and wanted to let it run dry being uh... maybe having some scotch ancestry uh... he wrote this because it had some meaning

16:31 if he thought of his conduct he said you people remember that when i was among view well it's sort of what what does that mean well it's the general word for instruction sometimes the word exhortation has the concept of comfort sometimes it has the design connotation of utility preaching said i among other things high plan applies the crossing this defies the records in the rounds monsieur singh putting in the wild ones are sometimes exhortation has the concept of putting in the rounds with seking the stirring of heaven and earth inanimatic deception eating them against the evil ones. to action, sometimes comforting. So it's a very general word. So Paul sits there and says, now you people remember that when I was among you, I had an individual concern

17:12 for each one of you, and that concern, expressed as a father to his children, was shown in that I exhorted you, I gave you instruction that had in its view comfort in general, instruction building up, stirring to action. But that wasn't all. Some of you were being sorely tried by the persecution that broke out. And as tender little blades just planted in the field of God, oh how you needed to be tenderly encouraged. And so the next word,

17:44 we comforted you, is a word that is translated as comfort everywhere else where it's found in the scriptures. It's the word used when our Lord came to the situation at Bethany when Lazarus was dead, that he sought to comfort. Mary and Martha. It's the idea, you see, of someone whose spirits are drooping and who need to be lifted up. And so Paul, as a father, not only gave general exhortation,

18:14 general instruction, but where he found a drooping plant, he came in like the person with the green thumb, who's restless until that plant once again flourishes. The apostle Paul, with fatherly tenderness, encouraged and comforted. And then the word of God, the word charging, is a solemn exhortation, almost the concept of adjuring someone by the living God. And so he not only gave general instruction, tender, consoling instruction, but sober, God-fearing exhortation and charging in this sense. And the specific end of all of this,

18:56 like the father, he not only gave individual attention to every child, the father, he not only varied his instruction to each child, but he tells us in the third place he had a specific end in view in this instruction. We exhorted and comforted and charged you to the end that you might walk worthy of God who calleth you to his kingdom and glory. I'm not going to open up that text this morning. It'd be too much. That'll be for

19:26 next week, the Lord willing. But notice he had a specific end in view. Now there's a beautiful description. He gives individual attention to every child. And as an outgrowth of that attention, he knows

19:41 that he can't give the same prescription to each child. What will encourage one child giving the same dose to another will just make him utterly indifferent to all kinds of responsibility. What will be chastisement and really break a child in the true sense of bringing his will submissive to the parent would utterly crush the other child. So there's not only the need to have individual attention, but varied instruction to each child according to his need. And there is

20:10 a specific end in view. The parental end in view is that this child might, through my training and discipline and exhortation, be brought to the place of maturity in Christ and in his or her true humanity in order that he or she might take his place in the threefold realm of his home that he will establish. Church and his society under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. So much then for the likeness stated and the likeness expanded. Now let's consider the likeness applied. What does this say to us?

Application 1: Holy Instruction and Holy Living are Inseparable

20:49 For all scripture is given, as we read this morning, not only for doctrine, but for instruction in the path of righteousness. Can this really say anything to us? I mean, let's face it. We're sitting here.

21:03 Today, in the 20th century, with the mess in Vietnam and the mess in North Korea and the mess in your own neighborhood and the mess in your own heart, what does this say to us? Well, I believe it has some very practical things to say to us. In the first place, the apostle's use of this figure, of his ministry being likened to a father, following right on the heels of verse 10, where he speaks of his holiness of life. It demonstrates, here's the principle, that holy instruction and holy living are inseparable ingredients in the

21:46 saving purposes of God. He said in verse 10, Hear, witnesses, and God also, how wholly and justly and unreprovably we behaved ourselves among you. Our lives before you were blameless. We embodied the truth in our own experience.

22:06 In all the vicissitudes of life, you people saw us. We were near to you like a father with his children. We didn't just preach in the synagogue and run away, lest if you got too close to us, you'd see the warts and moles.

22:20 We weren't like the professional evangelists who'll preach up a storm in the pulpit and high him off real quick to his high-class motel and not let anybody get near him to see what he's really like. No, no. He said, we'd leave there, and then we were like the father with his children. And he says, you people are witnesses as well as God.

22:38 That in all those relationships, we conducted ourselves wholly, justly, and unreprovably. And as we saw last week, this is an essential ingredient to the ongoing of the saving purposes of God, for as a general rule, the power of the truth will be in direct proportion to the purity of the vessel through which it comes.

23:03 As a general rule, there are some exceptions, but that's all they are, is exceptions. God can speak through a donkey. Right. But we don't train donkeys to be preachers.

23:15 God may speak through an unholy vessel, but it's the exception. But now he moves right into the next text and says, And you also know not only the holiness of life, but you know that the means by which we sought to bring you to a life worthy of God was what? Exhortation, consolation, and charging. Every one of them done with the lips, communicating of truth.

23:42 You don't exhort by your life, you exhort with your lips. You don't comfort with your life, you comfort with your lips. You don't charge with your life, you charge with your lips. And so Paul brings together in this same trend of thought, the holy instruction coupled with the holy life.

24:02 And I need not remind you that as in every other area, the church is plagued in the present hour, as she always has been, with two extremes. You have those. Who say the only thing that matters is preach the truth. God has said, my words shall not return unto me void.

24:20 Preach the truth, preach the truth. And if you're true to the truth, that's all that matters. Now it isn't all that matters. People have a right to know, what's this do if I believe it?

24:31 What will it do for me if I embrace it? In some measure we ought to be able to say, it will do for you what it's done for me. Be followers of me even as I am of Christ. We ought to be able to say it.

24:47 And if this passage were simply taken. Even as it stands, we'd see that we cannot have the exhortation, the comforting and the charging with any real effect upon men. Unless we can say previously, ye know and God also. How holily, justly and unblamefully.

25:04 But there are others who reacting against this say, oh the thing that really matters is your life. If you just live it, that's the important thing. Now that people say, well you know, I'm not much at talking, but I live my life.

25:20 What a sneaky way. To get around bearing the reproach of Christ, which many times never comes until you verbalize your witness. You can live before people from now until doomsday and they'll perish unless they hear from your mouth the saving words of God. The Apostle Peter makes this so clear when he says in the book of Acts, recounting God's dealings with him and getting him down to the household of Cornelius.

25:53 He says in Acts 15. Ye know that a while ago God made choice among us that by my mouth the Gentiles might hear and believe. He didn't say by my life, he said by my mouth. By my mouth.

26:10 By my mouth God made choice that people might be saved. And what is true of the truth that brings men into the possession of saving grace is also true in the development of that life. For Paul is speaking primarily. Here of the development that came to these believers.

26:29 He said we behaved ourselves this way among you that believed and as a father with his children we exhorted and comforted and charged who you believers so that it wasn't enough for Paul to embody in his life what it meant to live the Christian life. He had to exhort, teach, instruct, comfort, and charge them to the end that they might walk worthy of God.

26:56 So rather than. Thinking that well if we just live it that's the important thing the speaking will take care of itself or conversely the philosophy that says well if we can just get people witnessing just get people talking just get people and I don't like the phrase but you hear it often gossiping the gospel don't like it but that's the phrase that you then then we'll see blessing. Now the Bible doesn't take either of those approaches the Bible describes the healthy Christian is one who's always living the truth and always speaking the truth. And the apostle gives us a beautiful example of that principle right here.

Application 2: Pointed, Varied, Individual Instruction is Necessary for Spiritual Growth

27:32 Well there's a second principle in this passage that I believe says something to us right here this morning and it's this. That pointed. Varied individual instruction is necessary for the development of spiritual life evangelism it's not so necessary. In many cases that there be that individual pointed instruction wherever possible as we.

28:00 Saw in our earlier studies there ought to be the involvement of love as Paul says we were willing to impart to you not the gospel only we didn't preach and run away but we were willing to impart our very lives our souls in your life is made up of time of energy of interest of plans. And we have no right to expect that we should see the gospel succeed unless we're willing to give not only the gospel but our very selves there must be the involvement of love with people if the gospel is to be communicated powerfully. But even though that's true.

28:34 It's also true that as a general rule in the proclamation of the saving message of God there can be relative effectiveness in what we call group preach. Setting forth the demands of the law setting forth Christ as the only hope of sinners setting forth the way of repentance and faith in the work of the spirit that general instruction every center needs. He needs to know that if he's to enter the way of life. Oh once he's entered the way of life and now begins to grapple with how to work out this salvation.

29:10 And then all the influences that have shaped him in the past and all the influences of his own temperament and background and the cast of his mind and his particular sins and problems. See what happens. He begins to stand in desperate need of that individual fatherly concern. That will show him how the general rules.

29:34 Apply in his specific case so that the Apostle says we were among you as a father exhorting comforting and charging each of you one by one. There was that individual concern and application of me. Now I'm sure there were times Paul did this when people came to him. That's always easy when one of my children comes to me and says Daddy I've got a problem here will you help me.

30:01 Oh what a joy it is. To give individual. Concern to my children when they come seeking but there are other times when they don't seek it in fact the last thing they want is father's attention. Case in point there are times when I'm up in my study which is in the Parsonage as most of you know and I wish I could turn my ears off when I'm up there but I can't.

30:25 I've been sorely tempted to get one of these things next time I fly out somewhere to ask these guys at the airlines who have those things there to keep the noise of the jet from. A deafening them how you can get hold of one of those things and I think if I put those. On I could maybe study a bit more effectively but at times when I may hear I won't say anything Joels here but I'll say I hear Beth downstairs and I'll hear her fussing about something and maybe mummy's down in the washroom and hasn't gotten to her when I recognize from the tone of her voice or the tone of her cry or the way she's talking to Heidi that she desperately needs some individual fatherly instruction.

31:05 now she's not down there crying for it and saying daddy will you please come I need your help no and she sees daddy coming she isn't particularly appreciative because she knows what's going to happen she's got a spitfire temper and she's one of these that shoots and aims later if she aims at all and you see as a father I have an obligation to give her individual attention and to vary my instruction and exhortation and charging according to that present need now in the same way every believer has this need oh those are blessed times when the believer comes to an elder

31:47 to a ruling teaching elder to a pastor and says look as a child of God I've got a need do you have any instructions in the scripture to help me and my conscience pretty well left me at ease when I thought of that aspect I don't know of anyone who's ever come that I haven't sought to enter in and give that kind of counsel but you know where my conscience smote me in going after Beth seeing situations and conditions in the lives of God's children that I know need fatherly discipline

32:29 but because I'm not sure it's wanted I'm fearful to give it God smote my heart on that thing and by the grace of God I'm going to seek to be a better pastor in this area and the motive is exactly the same I love my Beth too much to let her think she can go through life having a little temper tantrum every time things don't go her way and if I love you and I see you doing that which is going to destroy you spiritually then I've got to come whether you like it or not

33:11 and exhort you and encourage you and charge you see there's the lesson now that applies not just to the pastor but how about you Sunday school teachers when the chunster raises his hand and says miss so and so is messy after class and they come with a problem not a joy what about the one who never takes that initiative do you have an obligation to go to them discharging that individual concern expressed with varied kinds of instruction to meet their needs are you doing it how about as a parent

33:54 this philosophy well I don't want to ram things down my kids throats you know so I'll just Paul didn't have that attitude he said as a father with his children we exhorted the times when you asked for it yes and the times when you didn't but my fatherly concern was such that I had to speak I spoke not as pleasing men as he says earlier but God who trieth the heart so it applies in all of these areas the third principle that's here in our text is that every child of God needs both the feminine and masculine virtues

Application 3: The Need for Both Feminine and Masculine Virtues in Christian Life

34:36 development of his own life and walk with God the same Paul who could say we were among you as a gentle nursing mother says we were also toward you as a training authoritative loving but firm father every Christian needs both the nursing mother gentleness and self sacrifice and patience the ruling father's authority wisdom firmness and understanding now by nature and temperament all of us tend to either like God or not more the nursing mother or the ruling father

35:19 that's why people say I'm of Paul he's the father I'm of Apollos he's the mother see by nature and temperament and background and all the rest every one of us by nature will either gravitate more and respond more to the feminine or masculine characteristics of a faithful minister but the apostle Paul refused to be lopsided and by the grace of God he exercised both toward the people of Thessalonica and we need both there's some people you drag out the promises and pour in the oil of consolation

36:03 in their all ears and they've got their bucket out there getting every last drop of comfort but you begin to charge and exhort them like a father and they'll turn you off quicker than anything and they do it to their own harm well you see that child needs not only the gentleness of his nursing mother but he needs the firmness and direction of a guiding father and so in our own spiritual lives dear ones let's cry to God that we shall have grace to embrace both aspects for we stand in desperate need of both now I want this morning to make the secondary application for this passage

Secondary Application: A Word to Parents in General

36:46 though primarily speaking of the mark of the true ministry being that of a training father as well as a nursing mother has to be a mother has some I think very helpful instruction to us who are parents there is in this passage a word to parents in general and then a word to fathers in particular just as in the church the believer needs desperately the nursing mother gentleness and the ruling father authority so in the realm of the family of the home listen to me parents your children if they are to develop normally if they are to develop to be what God wants them to be

37:28 they desperately need the full orbed exercise of all the feminine graces and the masculine graces of all the maternal and the paternal responsibilities in the framework of the household God has so ordered his world and has so ordered the structure of the family that the child who is robbed either of the full expression of the maternal influence or the full expression of the maternal influence or the full expression of the paternal influence in some way unless the grace of God makes it up through other channels that child is going to be warped now listen to me parents

38:11 there are some of you mothers who are not exercising your maternal your distinctive maternal office to your children you're out earning bread when you're out to be home training children years from now you're going to come with me and say pastor what happened? frankly I'll fire you if you don't come with me and say pastor what happened? I'll find it hard to weep with you God forgive me but I will for the scripture is clear that the woman the mother

38:56 is to be there with her children and some of you fathers who are exercising but one little aspect of your paternal responsibility in that you bring home the bread and the gravy and put it on the table but of that individual involvement with your children so that you're instructing them encouraging them charging them you know nothing you're leaving that to your wife is it no wonder we're in the mess we're in in our society when in the professing church of Christ believers who say they believe the bible

39:39 cannot take the clear instruction that says fathers rear your children mothers be keepers at home what could be clearer than that beloved? that's not my cranky opinion that's the word of God the aged women are to teach the younger women to love their children the aged women are to teach the younger women to love their children the aged women are to teach the younger women to love their children the aged women are to teach the younger women to love their children 그리수는 to be chaste discreet keepers at home put that there god embodied it right here now i refuse to believe now i refuse to believe that circumstances ever make it necessary that circumstances ever make it necessary to violate the word of God if you as a parent can say well my circumstances are such that i must violate it

40:23 and your kids can come to you and say Dad, mom you taught me thou shalt not commit adultery but my circumstances are such that I can't help it so i've done it can't help it And their argument is as valid as yours. Just as valid.

40:39 Just as valid.

40:42 If I can make myself an exception to the clear precepts of God, so can they.

40:48 And my heart yearns far better, beloved, and I say it honestly, I say it with a burdened heart, to sell all we've got and get a shack out in the country and plant some beans and tangles and live the simple life just a breath away from the hippie life that as a mother we can exert our maternal influence and as a father exert our paternal influence for God's ordained by this means to bring our children to normalcy.

41:23 And so there's a word to us as parents in general. I say to you young women who are not yet married, established before you ever say I do, what your role is in the light of the word of God. And all of the couples here whom I've been privileged to come, counsel before marriage will know this is the first place we start so that you get some clear guidelines. Now I'm not talking about those exceptions that may be before children come along or if there are no children.

41:53 I fully realize those are some exceptions. But I'm talking, beloved, about the issues that are clear when God has given us precious lives to rear for his glory.

42:09 And so the word to us as parents is to recognize that the shaping and molding of these lives is our highest calling and our greatest responsibility, second only to our responsibility to know and serve our God. Children to be trained takes time. It takes time. If you're going to give that individual instruction, you've got to know where the needs are.

42:42 If you're going to vary it, you've got to know why it should be varied. It takes time. It takes involvement. It's a full-time responsibility.

A Word to Fathers in Particular

42:49 Now may I give a word to the fathers. In particular, in closing.

42:55 What image do your children have of you, Dad?

43:01 What image do your children have of you?

43:04 Suppose I were to go to your children today and say, Now look, Johnny, Pete, Joel, Charles. What's your image of your daddy? When you think of daddy, what do you think of? What would he put down?

43:19 Provider. Daddy brings home the bacon. All right, what would he put after that? Comma.

43:25 Would he be hard put to put anything else there?

43:30 Could he put down there, counselor, concerned? About me, comma, buddy, spending time with me, comma.

43:49 Could he put those things that Paul mentions here? The one who teaches me, the one who comforts me, the one who charges me. Paul says, like as a father does this, so we did. Intimating that a true father has these marks.

44:09 What's the image your children have of you, Dad? What is it? Is it this image?

44:16 Is it? That's your responsibility. That's your responsibility. Nobody can make it up for you.

44:25 You young fellas, all of you, probably without exception, inside of, I don't want to get you married too early, but I'll make it broad. Ten years from now, you're all going to be hitched up good and proper.

44:38 Not me, huh? You'll change your tune in a while. You will be.

44:43 And many of you, the Lord tarries and spares you. You will have already fathered a child or two.

44:49 As you think of that awesome responsibility, what's your image of that role? The curse of this is, generally, you don't see it and get it unless you've seen it. It's more caught than taught. And the pity is, there are so few fathers in our day who, by their example, are training their own sons to be fathers in this sense.

45:13 Who are the spiritual administrators of their home.

45:17 But are more than that. Counselor, buddy, friend, instructor to the children individually.

45:28 That costs something.

45:31 Costs something. What in the world? Well, I was interested in that little thing my kid's interested in. Well, I'm not interested in it, but he is.

45:39 And so I bend my interest to his.

45:43 Deny myself. Who wants to read that stupid fairy story? Well, it's not stupid to him. So I read it and get excited.

45:53 Just like I never heard it before. See?

45:57 I mean, who wants to go out there? I mean, you know, if you've got any athletic ability, you go out and throw a ball. You want to throw it at a guy that can catch. Who wants to go out there and have to go, huh?

46:08 I mean, man, if we're going to play ball, let's play. Let's get somebody who can catch. Let's get somebody who can throw.

46:16 How'd you learn?

46:20 So you go on out there and you, see?

46:24 So it needs to be a father.

46:28 Who wants to take time? You're just going out the door and you've got your plans and you notice that the son or daughter's talked back to mama. Who wants to take time to sit down and explain why they shouldn't do this?

46:39 Throw it off on the wife.

46:42 She's so tired, she says, well, let's just forget it.

46:46 So sloppy discipline patterns are established because the father won't take his role. I don't want to go on and expand this and make it a message. I want fatherhood. But I hope I've dropped enough seeds this morning that will cause every father, actual or prospective,

47:03 to soberly reflect upon the biblical concept of the role of a father. And Ephesians 6, 4 is perhaps the most pivotal text in all of scriptures where it says, Fathers, rear your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Not mothers. Fathers.

47:23 Now, for some of you whose husbands are not saved and couldn't care less, of course, you've got to make up the slack and do it. But I'm talking to you fathers who profess to be the Lord's, profess to be his own children.

A Call to Trust God's Word and Obey

47:39 That you and I as fathers will take our role, take the lead in assuming and discharging the role that God himself has given unto us. Now, it would grieve me deeply if anyone went out this morning saying, well, the pastor's written me off. He says, I'm just...

47:57 No, beloved, listen. All I ask...

47:59 All I ask you to do is what dear Mrs. Stair said the other morning. If you're a mother and you are shirking your role for one reason or another, giving yourself to that of exercising your maternal responsibility, here's all I ask. That you go to scripture and you stay in scripture until you can come away with scripture to justify your actions.

48:27 Because when you stand before God, you're going to have to. That's all I ask. Beloved, I am not your judge. To his own master a servant standeth before him.

48:38 And any of you mothers who can shirk domestic responsibility for other paternal responsibilities, I do not judge you. I never have and I never will. But I exhort you to judge yourself in the light of the word of God. Isn't that fair enough?

48:56 And if you cannot from the scriptures honestly, justly handle, and still justify your action, then beloved, you better stop right now and leave the consequences with God. For he has said, if you seek first my kingdom and my righteousness, every other thing will be added unto you. And that thing is bread and clothing in its context. And I know in our own assembly, some who have sought by the grace of God to take that course of action and God has indicated.

49:28 They're not here this morning, so I think I should use them as an illustration. Herb and Rosma let her a living witness of this. Selling a home, leaving a business, coming down with nothing to go into Bible school with three little kids. And a husband who said to his wife, you're home with those children.

49:46 I'm a full-time student, a part-time worker, but God will meet our needs. And they live in a perpetual miracle, the way God meets their needs. Why? For one reason, they're just simple enough to believe his word.

50:01 So no matter when a financial need comes, the first recourse is, oh well, we better go looking for a job for Roz. No. Let's get down on our knees. God's got a new way of meeting our needs.

50:13 The other thing is an open for debate. Open for debate. The word of God is spoken. I don't do that to exalt that.

50:26 To show this is not just a lot of talk. If I were to use our own example, I know what some of you think. Oh, what do you know about it? You don't have to pay rent.

50:34 The church pays your rent. What do you know about it? You love it for five years. Nobody paid my rent.

50:41 Nobody even guaranteed me a dime a week. And there were two or three weeks at a time when I didn't see a dime of income. But our rent was paid every month. And our car payment was paid.

50:53 And every need was met. We ate simply. Fasted life. I don't look the worse for it.

51:05 God met our needs. And we gave the Lord his portion. And no matter how close the budget, it was never debatable, does God get his part? God gets his part.

51:18 And God will vindicate and God will honor. I want to prove him. God will write a little miracle book in your life. He will prove me now herewith saith the Lord.

51:36 Ye know how we dealt with each one of you as a father. And each one of you as a father does his children. Exhorting. Encouraging.

51:46 And charging. May God grant that we shall hear the voice of the Lord. Not only in those great principles that relate to our spiritual development. That we need the life and the lift together.

52:02 That we need the feminine and masculine characteristics of a God ordained ministry. May we hear the voice of God in this secondary application to us parents. Parents in general. Fathers in particular.

52:17 And I trust that you receive the word and the love with which it has come. And I trust in the authority of God upon which it has been based. We thank thee for thy father heart. Full of such compassion for us as thy poor, ignorant, oftentimes disobedient children.

52:53 We thank thee for thy corrective words. We thank thee for thy disciplining rod. We thank thee thou dost love us enough to apply the rod. Lest we destroy ourselves by our headstrong rebellion.

53:13 And father we plead that thy word shall do its work in our hearts today. Bringing every one of us to a new implicit trust in the word of God. Lord take away from us. The unbelief that would rationalize and cause us to say it just doesn't work.

53:36 Oh by thy grace and mercy enable us not only to know but to do that which would be well pleasing in thy sight. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.