Pastoral Counsel Pertaining to Our Death

Introduction: Personal Context and Pastoral Intent

0:02 The following message was delivered on Sunday morning, December 5th, 2004, in the adult Sunday school class at Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey. Now, for the benefit of some who may hear the material that I plan to set before you in this Sunday school hour who have not been a part of the shared life of our congregation in recent months, let me sketch in just a few historical facts. My dear wife went to be with Christ on September 20th of this year, 2004, after a six-year battle with cancer. And when the cancer spread from her back and lungs to her liver in March of 2004, we had some very weighty decisions to make with respect to further treatment, and if so, what kind, if not, how we could with good conscience stop any treatment and still be content. We were not violating the Sixth Commandment. And when her condition worsened to the point where I, as her primary caregiver, could no longer adequately care for her needs, I announced an indefinite leave of absence from my pastoral responsibilities, gave myself to caring for her,

1:26 and then again had some very weighty decisions to face when it was evident that I, and even I with some other help from God, could not adequately respond to her needs. Should we put her in the hospital? Should we keep her at home? Should we call in the help of hospice?

1:45 And then, less than two weeks after Mrs. Martin's funeral, her 95-year-old mother died in a nursing home in Florida, and as the one legally responsible to settle her affairs, I had to fly down to Daytona Beach during the last week of October. Now, these two events, and all that surrounded and followed them, forced me to do much serious thinking concerning very many practical issues relative to the matter of death and the subsequent matters that flow out of death. And what I'm attempting to do in this Sunday school hour is to pass on some of the fruit of this thinking in the form of pastoral counsel concerning matters related, to our death. Now, I want to make it plain that I am giving pastoral counsel. I am not speaking as the oracle, but my fellow elders encouraged me as soon as I felt I had filtered these things through enough to conceptualize them in an orderly way, and that I could emotionally take whatever trauma might come in working through them, that it would be unto edification to all opponents, of the people of God, were I to share some of these perspectives, and I underscore again

3:10 in the form of pastoral counsel. I'm very, very conscious that others may come into similar circumstances, but with many dissimilar factors with which you must wrestle. And so in no way am I saying that the decisions that we made in conjunction with our tailor-made circumstances should in any way, may be considered as the one-size-fits-all for others. And I would be deeply grieved if anyone interpreted what I'm about to say in that framework, if anyone used it in that way.

Foundational Principle 1: The Certainty of Death

3:46 It is a blatant misuse of my concern in this hour. Now, as usual, I want to begin with three foundational principles rooted in the Word of God, things concerning which there is no debate if you believe your Bible. And the first is, is this, that you and I must face realistically the fact that we shall all die. We must face, not theoretically, but realistically, the fact that we shall all die.

4:20 Hebrews 9, 27, it is appointed unto men once to die. And after Adam's sin, speaking to Adam as the head of his race, God says, dust you are, and to dust you shall, shall return. Genesis 3, 19, or Romans 5, 12, as through one man, sin entered into the world and death passed upon all men for that all sinned. The only exceptions of which we are aware are Elijah, who was taken up to heaven in the whirlwind, and Enoch, who went out for a walk one day and was not, for God took him, and those, who will be alive at the second coming of our Lord Jesus. But apart from Elijah and Enoch and those alive at the return of our Lord, the one certain thing about life when we breathe our first breath is that we shall breathe our last breath. Ignoring that reality will not blow it away. Submerging it to the level of subconsciousness will not remove it.

5:36 And you and I live in a society that seeks to ignore or cosmetize the reality of death in a way that is nothing short of shameful. I'm reading at the suggestion of my dear friend, Mrs. Esalen Blaze, the book called To Live Again, written by Catherine Marshall, the wife of Peter Marshall, who was chaplain to the Senate and pastor in the Washington area, who died at the very end of the war, and who died at the very end of the war, who died at the very end of the war, and she excerpted these several paragraphs from one of his sermons in which he was speaking of his concern about the American way of death denial. He wrote, and apparently preached, Why in our day do we shun the fact of death? We try so hard to disguise it. We are so stupid about it. We ruse the cheeks of the corpse and dress it up in its best suit, and then we say with ridiculousness and ridiculous gravity how natural he looks, as if there could be anything natural about a corpse.

6:41 We who call ourselves Christians act in a very pagan way. We gaze upon the lifeless human clay. We touch the cold cheek. We line up to pass by the casket and, quote, view the remains, as the stupid phrase has it, as if we had never heard of the soul and never understood what personality is.

7:02 If this thing called death were some leprous calamity that befell only a few of us, if it were something that could be avoided, then our conspiracy of silence concerning it might make some sense. But it is life's great and perhaps its only certainty.

Foundational Principle 2: God Appoints the Time and Manner of Death

7:26 And that principle is foundational to everything that I want to pass on to you this morning. That you and I must face realistically the fact that we shall all die. Second principle is that the time, the circumstances, and manner of our death are appointed by God. The time, circumstances, and manner of our death are appointed by God.

7:56 You will remember, I trust, after the memorial service and that eloquent and profound sermon of Pastor Donnelly, from the time of my death, from John 21, when the Lord spoke to Peter and said in verse 17, I'm sorry, in verse 18, When you were young, you girded yourself and walked where you would. But when you shall be old, you will stretch forth your hands and another will gird you and carry you where you would not. Now this he spoke, signifying by what manner of death he should go. To glorify God.

8:37 And when he had spoken this, he said to him, Follow me. And following Jesus meant an embrace from the heart of the Lord's words that the time, the manner, and the circumstances of his death were ordered and appointed by God. Ecclesiastes chapter 3, verses 1 and 2, underscore this principle again in language familiar, to many of us. For everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.

9:13 A time to be born and a time to die. A time appointed by God. 2 Kings 13, 14 says, Now Elisha was sick of the sickness whereof he died. This man that could by God's power raise others, from the dead, whose body lifeless in a cave was the occasion of someone else being raised from the dead.

9:43 He is sick of the sickness whereof he dies. And he is powerless to turn away that sickness, though he could raise others from the dead. And another was raised from the dead by touching his dead body in a cave. Because the time, the circumstances, and the manner of our death are appointed by God.

10:05 And Paul and Peter were conscious of this. Paul could say in 2 Timothy 4, 6, The time of my departure is at hand. And 2 Peter 1 in verse 14, Peter speaking in similar language says, The time of the putting off of my earthly tent is at hand. So this second principle with which you and I must wrestle and internalize is that the time of my departure The time, the circumstances, and the manner of our death are appointed by God.

Foundational Principle 3: Desire a Christ-Magnifying Death

10:40 And then the third, and this is crucial to everything that follows, as true followers of Christ, we should consciously desire,

10:51 earnestly pray, and responsibly plan to have a Christ magnifying death. As true followers of Christ, We should desire, plan, and pray that we may have a Christ-magnifying death. And I take that language directly from the words of the Apostle Paul in Philippians chapter 1. According to my earnest expectation and hope, that in nothing shall I be put to shame, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. He wants a Christ-magnifying death. And each of us who can say with the Apostle, for to me to live is Christ, ought to be able to say, yes. This is my conscious desire.

12:04 This is my earnest prayer. And where possible, this is the subject of my careful planning, that I might have a death that brings optimum glory to Christ, a Christ-magnifying death. So those are the three foundational principles that rest beneath everything that's going to follow in the way of some practical, pastoral, counsel concerning matters related to our death. So I move from the foundational principles, then, to the practical, pastoral counsels growing out of and resting down upon these three principles.

Practical Counsel 1: Maintain a Death-Ready Walk

12:48 And the first is this. Maintain a death-ready walk with God and with men. Maintain a death-ready, death-ready, walk with God and with men. When Paul speaks in Acts 24 of his confidence of a future resurrection, he says, in the light of that reality, herein, within this framework, that my death shall issue eventually in a resurrection, a resurrection that will issue in standing before God, in this sphere of reference, I exercise myself.

13:29 I undergo a conscious, continual spiritual discipline to have at all times a conscience void of offense towards God and towards man. In other words, Paul lived in a death-ready walk with his God and with his fellow men. A death-ready walk with God. Nothing that need be settled should I die tonight, either with God, or with men.

14:04 And how crucial this is, because as Proverbs 27, 1 says, boast not yourself of tomorrow, for you know not what a day may bring forth. We do not know if we will undergo an accident that will take away our intellectual faculties, put us in a coma. And if there are issues that should have been settled with God, there's no opportunity to settle them. If there are issues that should have been settled with husband, wife, children, fellow believers, no opportunity to settle them.

14:37 Dear people, I cannot beg you with enough pastoral earnestness, commit yourself by the grace of God to have a death-ready walk with God every single day of your life. I can testify what a blessed thing it was when my wife slipped into a coma. There was nothing concerning, which I needed to pray. Oh, God, please bring her out of that coma for five minutes.

15:08 I've got to make this issue right with her.

15:13 I prayed God might bring her out with some burst of felt experience of the nearness of Christ as we've read in biographies that some have done. I said, Lord, if that would please you, it would greatly encourage me, for I know you have access to her mind when I don't have access to it. God didn't answer that prayer. But I am so thankful there was no unfinished business with that dear woman.

15:40 Could you say that of your wife this morning, men?

15:45 If you tripped on a stair, broke your neck and died, would there be any unfinished business? God help you to get it dealt with today.

15:56 Any controversy with God? Hidden sins that you're not wrestling to mortify and deal with? I beg of you, take seriously the uncertainty of death and determine by the grace of God to maintain a death-ready walk with God and with men. In Henry Scudder's lovely book, The Christian's Daily Walk, he gives a word of counsel that off and on throughout my Christian experience I have found very helpful.

16:29 He said, when you lie down at night, put yourself on your deathbed. Imagine this is the last time you will lie down with consciousness before you go, into the presence of the Lord. And whatever you would want to settle in those last moments, settle it before you drift off to sleep. Dear people, that's what I mean by living a death-ready life.

Practical Counsel 2: Put Your House in Order (General Principles)

16:52 Death-ready before God and before man. Secondly, do all you can reasonably to put your house in order. Now, where do I get that phrase, put your house in order? Well, it's found twice in the scriptures.

17:08 Isaiah 38, in verse 1, when the prophet comes and announces to Hezekiah that he's going to die. In those days, Hezekiah was sickened to death. And Isaiah the prophet, the son of Amos, came to him and said to him, thus says the Lord, set your house in order, for you shall die and not live. And the clear implication is, if you're going to be ready to die, your house ought to be in order.

17:37 Set it in order, because you're going to die. And no self-respecting child of God wants to die having left his house in disorder through carelessness or procrastination. Even a very evil man who took his own life and committed self-murder, we read that he had sense enough to set his house in order. 2 Samuel, chapter 17.

18:05 And you can turn to these passages, I'm quoting most of them, but I'll not be insulted if you turn to them. 2 Samuel, chapter 17, and verse 23.

18:19 And it came to pass, I'll read verse 21, after they were departed, that they came up out of the well and went and told King David, this was one of those incidents in David's life when he's being chased around by Saul, and Ahithophel, who had been his trusted counselor, his counselor was not followed. Verse 23, and when Ahithophel saw that his counsel was not followed, he said, he saddled his donkey, arose, went to his home and his city, and set his house in order and hanged himself, and he died. Even a man whose heart is filled with this consummate wickedness of taking his own life had enough sense that though he would leave people with the horrible grief of a suicide in his family, he would not leave them with the mess of a disorderly house. He set his house in order. And so, as God's people, we must have that determination to do what that phrase means. And it's crucial because it does reflect our view of God and the nature of our relationship to God.

19:30 When Paul is sorting out the disorder in the church at Corinth, particularly in their seasons of public worship, and he's seeking to undergird all the things that are going on in the church, his meticulous counsel about how to set their religious house in order, their worship house in order, he undergirds his counsel with these words, verse 33, for God is not a God of confusion but of peace. You as a church are the house of God. What's going on in that house does not reflect accurately on the character of God. People would think your God is a God of confusion and disorder.

20:11 Stop it! You are accurately to reflect the character of your God in your worship. And I say this phrase, set your house in order, is also to be buttressed by the fact that the manner of our death ought to reflect the character of the God whom we say we know and we love. And then verse 40,

20:34 but let all things be done decently, that is, with proper decorum and in order. Because God is a God of order. And God would have us reflect him even in this practical matter of our preparedness for death. And then of course the old standby, the golden rule, Matthew 7 in verse 12.

21:02 As you would that others do unto you, even so do ye also unto them for this is the law and the prophets. If we are to do this, if we are to do this, if we are to do this, if we are to do this, if we are to do this, if we are to do this, if we are to do this, if we are to do this, if we are to sum up all of the ethical demands of the revealed will of God, it all boils down to this. As you would that others do to you, even so do ye also unto them. Would you like to be left with a mess where someone did not sort out the disposition of his or her goods, gave no indication as to how they want to be buried, what they wanted in a memorial service, did not take care of practical matters, suppose they, enter into a comatose state and you had never talked about the matter of extreme measures to resuscitate, think of the confusion that is left with others. Well, as you would that others do to you, even so do ye also unto them. No matter how busy and pressed we are, dear people, if we've come to grips with those foundational principles that we're going to die, the time and the circumstances and the manner of our death is appointed by God, but for the most part is hidden from us, then surely we ought to give priority to setting our house in order if we love those who behind us are going to have to pick up the pieces after we are gone. And so do all you can

Practical Counsel 2: Put Your House in Order (Specifics - Financial & Medical)

22:30 to put your house in order. I've tried to lay a scriptural foundation for that. Now then, what are some of the specifics to putting our houses in order? Well, let me outline several areas.

22:47 Number one, maintaining a current will.

22:53 Maintaining a current will. If you have minor children, you don't want the state to take over their care. If you have talked through who you would like to appoint as the guardians, then make that claim in your will. If you don't want whatever earthly possessions God has given to you to be unnecessarily swallowed up in the state taxes, et cetera, et cetera, then there are ways, perfectly legal, none of them illegal and sneaky, to bypass all of the mechanics and the loss of funds with probate court, et cetera.

23:36 Maintain a current will that identifies and gives directions in these matters. And let me say, by way of the law, by way of the law, by way of the law, by way of the law, by way of the law, there is an American concept that any decent parent will leave his estate to be equally divided among his children regardless of the worthiness of those children. That is not a scriptural concept. My Bible says in Proverbs 17.2, a servant that deals wisely shall have rule over a son that causes shame and shall have part in the inheritance among brethren.

24:17 This idea that because you go to the Lord and you make out your will, my estate shall be equally divided, blah, blah, blah. Where do you get that? You have a responsibility before God with the stuff that he's put in your hands. Be it house, be it savings accounts, be it a retirement account, and you need to determine before God how you feel that can be most disposed to the honor of God and to the furtherance of the purposes for which you are.

24:44 For which you with the blessing of God accumulated it. And I challenge you to think through this whole idea where your children won't be offended. Well, maybe some of them should have thought of that when they lived irresponsible lives.

24:59 And along came some servants, some who are not blood tied to you, who have earned by their manner of life and their relationship to you a greater part in that inheritance. Maintain a current will. Secondly, consider. And here I'm not taking the role of a financial advisor.

25:21 Don't anybody do anything because of some things I throw out. These are just things to tweak your thinking in areas where mine was not tweaked until a relatively short time ago. Consider P.O.D. accounts.

25:35 That is pay on debt accounts. When I went down to Florida to settle my mother's accounts, all I need to do was show the will to the people to the lawyer. And he said, there's a branch bank where all her accounts are right across the street. And in 45 minutes, I walked out with all of her affairs settled.

25:56 Because on all of her accounts, four years ago, knowing that she was failing, she was going into an assisted living home and might from there go into a nursing home, I was given power of attorney to handle her accounts. And on all of her accounts, Annabelle Rockefeller, P.O.D., Marilyn K. Martin, and Albert N. Martin, pay on debt. I just walked in with my wife's death certificate and my mother-in-law's death certificate.

26:24 Accounts were opened in the Wachovia Bank up here and that was it. Less than 24 hours.

26:32 Now, we're not talking about great sums of money, but nonetheless, it made it so much simpler. I never knew anything about this until four years ago. My mom and my daddy didn't tell me anything about those things. So I encourage you to look into these matters so that you can know that in setting your house in order, you make as simple a task as possible for those who are left behind.

26:55 Consider the matter of power of attorney so that someone you trust, a Christian brother, perhaps a son or daughter, with whom you can talk through the dynamics, the ongoing changing dynamics of what you would desire to do with your estate, and you have someone that you trust who is given power of attorney, then you have someone who is going to be able to do it. And further, this is crucial. Talk through and have written out some medical directives.

27:27 Medical directives including discussing end-stage care. Now, the Sixth Commandment has something to say to us. In the Shorter Catechism, the question is asked, what doth the Sixth Commandment require? Answer, the Sixth Commandment requireth all lawful endeavors to preserve our health, to preserve our health, to preserve our health, to preserve our health, to preserve our own life and the life of others.

27:52 And what doth the Sixth Commandment forbid? The Sixth Commandment forbiddeth the taking away of our own life or the life of our neighbor unjustly or whatsoever tendeth thereunto. We have a responsibility to do all within our power to preserve our own life and the life of others. But as Francis Schaeffer so rightly said, so helpfully said, it is one thing to preserve life.

28:24 It is another thing to simply delay and stretch out the act of dying. Now, that's not going to resolve all the ethical issues. But I have found it very helpful in thinking through these matters with respect to my own beloved wife, in thinking through these matters and giving counsel to others. You've been very kind.

28:50 None of you asked why when the cancer metastasized to her liver that we decided to have no more chemotherapy. I'll tell you why. The doctor said it would take a very potent chemotherapy that her compromised blood system would likely not bear but one or two treatments and it only held out a 15% chance that it would be one or two more months to live. And we said no.

29:23 If God has allowed the cancer to metastasize in that main organ that affects digestion as she so sweetly embraced it and said, I'll be going home, dear. This is my door. You see, that didn't catch us unawares. We had thought out and talked through before we came to the situation.

29:46 So when we're in the doctor's office, it was no big deal. We said, Doc, we've already gone down this road in our discussion. No more chemo.

29:55 You see, it would have been very difficult had we not thought the thing through and discussed it and been of one mind to suddenly be hit with this thing and we would have been tempted to respond emotionally rather than rationally. And so I urge you in setting your house in order in this matter of directives concerning medical care including end-stage care to think through what are the requirements of the Sixth Commandment. Does the Sixth Commandment demand that we do everything with modern technology to keep someone breathing for as long as we can keep them breathing?

30:34 Does it? I'm not sure that it does. So we've got to think that thing through. And then, of course, with respect to end-time care, I can't say enough about our experience with the hospice care under the St. Barnabas Medical Systems Hospice Branch. And many people don't understand hospice. Basically, hospice care is care provided for people whom the medical community has declared terminally ill. This is why you can't be a candidate for it with your insurance or with Medicare unless a doctor is prepared to make the statement that his estimate is you have only six months to live.

31:20 Now, that can be renewed. And in some cases, we know of people who've had hospice care for four years. But it wasn't because they were milking the system. It's because doctors can't play God, though at times they try to.

31:33 But the hospice care is care that is meant to help people to be as comfortable as possible until they die. And that means where oxygen is needed and would be helpful, as in my wife's case, it was for some strain and for some strange reason. The moment she started having the oxygen, all of her coughing from the nodules in her lungs stopped. It was almost magical.

32:00 And so, from the time we had the hospice care for almost two months until she died, there was no coughing, whereas before that she coughed continually like someone who had smoked three packs of cigarettes a day for 40 years. Then, when there was physical distress, being able to administer the morphine to relieve that in the light, of Proverbs 31, giving strong drink to him that is ready to die, the whole concept of narcotics being ordained of God to help in end-time pain and distress. And this is why I've had copies made of the lovely little article in one of my medical newsletters that I get. I get four of them, four or five of them. I think one of them I've discontinued. And occasionally, I find articles that are helpful in a general way, and this one by a doctor explaining the concept of hospice care and the benefits of hospice care. And I would say, by way of personal testimony now, and this is why I said circumstances are different.

33:09 Her circumstances were such that there was nothing that could be done for her in the hospital.

33:15 And we desired to care for her as an expression of our love, the we being me, my daughter Heidi, my sister Joyce, that I felt so strongly that with her selfless ministry to me for all the years of our marriage, that I wanted with all my heart to pay back in some little way by granting that end-time care. And so it was our privilege to do that. It gave an opportunity for children and grandchildren to see the process of dying, and not be insulated from it. I'm 70 years old, and I never saw that end-time process.

33:59 I did visit with my dad in his last weeks, but in the providence of God, I wasn't able to be there and to walk with him, as it were, right down to the river until he crossed it. And I believe there is something vital in terms of bringing us into biblical reality by having that exposure to the children, to the grandchildren, closer friends who can come and say their last words as the end draws near. I believe that the benefit of that will be invaluable. I had an example of it even this past weekend as I've been trying to take one of my grandchildren one day a week for an afternoon or an evening or an overnight and spend quality time with them to be able to sit and show them the pictures when they sleep, and when they sleep, stood by the bedside of their grandma three days before she went home and to talk to them about what they saw and what happened and what was going on that they might have lasting impressions, not in a morbid way, but again, in a society that cosmetizes death and talks about they've passed on and they've gone from us and the rest and nobody's ready to say they died. You know what it is like? It's the dirty word in a society that's caused by and uses all kinds of expletives. They don't like to use the four-letter word he died because it's a reminder

Practical Counsel 2: Put Your House in Order (Specifics - Post-Death Issues)

35:27 that that's their end as well. And then from directives for medical care another category maintaining a current will considering some of the financial alternatives that will minimize probate and unnecessary taxes, etc. directives concerning medical care then another category is provisions and directives for post-death issues. You're not going to vaporize when you die.

36:01 Somebody's going to have to do something with that part of you that remains.

36:10 What do you want done? What do you feel will most honor God in the things that will surround what will necessarily have to be done when your spirit exits your body? And along that line may I give these practical counsels? Be sure to secure your grave plots.

36:31 Don't leave your loved ones to have to be sitting with a funeral director and scurrying about where's a place that's within reasonable distance and that's cruel dear people to leave that kind of stuff with all of the emotional trauma of the death of a loved one. Don't add that burden to it. Don't add that burden.

36:55 Secure your grave plots. Discuss what funeral home you're going to use and the fundamental arrangements that you want for your funeral. I think many of you have come to the persuasion and it sort of turned the corner with the funeral of Gordon Daughtry and then Paul Bischoff and then I believe was further sealed with my wife of using the church facilities rather than crowding into a little room that you're not familiar with at a funeral home for the various facets of the funeral arrangements but discuss that with your loved ones and may I put in a little plea again an American practice that some countries in Sweden it's been greatly done away with in terms of spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars for flowers that in a few days are all thrown away. Now I know my wife had a higher profile because of her relationship to me and people who knew her in various parts of the world. But the memorial gifts came in totaling close to forty five hundred dollars. There's an awful lot of Bibles going to China instead of flowers rotting somewhere in the junkyard.

38:12 There's going to be a number of people who can't afford hospice care who will receive it because they don't refuse it to anyone. People who don't have insurance coverage don't have the personal finance to afford it. They have a policy that they do not refuse their services when they are needed. And what a joy it is for me to think that that care that my beloved received is being received by people who don't have the coverage that we did.

38:39 And so think through those issues. And then what a joy it is I want to speak pastorally. If you've thought through and talked through with your loved one what you want in your memorial service what hymns you want and if possible even what text you want preached what a joy it is as a pastor to stand up before viable people many times many unconverted people and say every facet of this service is the legacy of the one whom God has taken home. John, Henry, Mary, Elizabeth thought through how they wanted their Lord honored in their funeral and what I am privileged to lead in this service is their legacy to you. It's a wonderful thing pastorally. It really is. And in a very real sense it's your final shot across the bow in terms of your witness to those who would be present.

39:38 So I would urge you seriously to think through and talk through in some detail provisions and directives for post-death issues and then don't ignore if you're going to have a plaque over your grave plot or a memorial stone think when I go over to that cemetery where my loved one is laid I see gravestones that go back to the 1700s and when I began to think about the fact that the Lord delays his coming what's etched on that stone over my wife's grave could be a witness for two to three hundred years. I said Lord I want to make it right and so my daughter and I we had many exchanges over what were the right words that would capture the essence that would speak forth the truth that is distinctively Christian and we changed an adjective here changed the word here wrestled with it for weeks until three weeks ago I went to the American Memorial Company in Englewood and picked out the stone and when I had shown the man a little sketch of the stone what I wanted to look like and had typed out the text he said Mr. Martin you may be ending up spending more for the letters than for the stone I said sir

41:07 it's irrelevant it's irrelevant this is the tribute that I want to my wife and the witness that I want her to make possibly for not only decades but possibly possibly for several hundred years to come and I was naughty enough to sit with my calculator and figure out if the Lord gives it two hundred years how many days that is and how much per day that witness is costing and I tell you it's pretty cheap testimony and God willing in the spring when that stone is put in place because they can't do it till the spring because they're afraid that they have to put in a footing and it's too cold and the frost might keep the concrete from settling and setting as it ought to and curing that's the word I want curing as it ought to God willing some Sunday afternoon we'll have an official unveiling and in the next invite the church family to come at which time I can explain to you the significance of the words between now and then you're just going to have to wait a few of you there were a few of you that I did show the thing before we gave final approval and these practical things dear people what lies at the heart of them at the heart of it is the desire that Christ will be magnified in our death that's the organizing principle that in every

Q&A and Concluding Remarks

42:36 thing pertaining to our death Christ would be magnified now we have ten minutes left I'm going to ask Larry if you would please I'm going to pass out some printed materials one of them is the single page that has the article by the doctor on hospice and then the other is a section from a large manual that hospice from St. Barnabas gave us when we secured their services and it's the chapter that deals with the issues that you ought to seek to address responsibly and have on record and have them either in a file have them all in a large envelope so that all things would be done decently and in order and so that chapter will also be handed out to you to be looked at at your leisure husbands and wives to sit down and work through together now while they're passing that out we have these eight minutes left I was hoping to have you I was hoping we'd have a chance for time for questions are there questions that you want to address to me growing out of the things we've considered this morning yes George yes yeah yeah I think here again George

44:04 those are matters the question is would I have any counsel about securing plots a sufficient number of plots for the extended family or being buried with your family well I think here again there are so many variables George some families are so fractured and fragmented that it would be practically impossible on the other hand there are some situations where I think it can be a nice testimony and reflection of family solidarity in a day when families are fragmented and can be a kind of silent witness to the fact that this family sought to maintain a sense of family continuity even through the generations so I think there's an area of liberty and that one must sit and think and talk through what factors pertain in our own specific situation I can tell you even the matter of to show how if you're seeking to think responsibly as many of you know when you have double plots such as my wife and I have the the cemetery will allow a certain size stone for a single plot but if you're going to have a a double plot with a double stone where the etch in the person who's already gone on died and the other

45:32 can be etched in later and we were wrestling with should we get a double stone and Heidi said daddy I don't think we should I said why sweetheart she said well if in the future God should give you another wife would that be fair that every time she visited mom's grave with you she'd have to see you still attached to mom I don't think that would be fair to her I looked at her with tears and I said you're your mother's daughter always thinking about the other person so I took her counsel and so we decided to get a single headstone and then my headstone will be one the same size and sit next to it in God's time so again those are matters I think where liberty can be exercised and every family just needs to think those things through you may decide not to have headstone just have a simple plaque and the availability of those things and what can be put on them there's all kinds of options open to us but I think if we come to this thing not saying I'm going to be swept along by what the American thing is to do but say no Lord I'm determined Christ is going to be magnified in my death and everything pertaining to it and following it in so far as it lies with me I believe it's going to make a difference in the way we approach these things alright someone else had a hand raise yes Ron nice and loud for me I didn't put my hearing aids in I don't put

47:02 them in when I'm speaking alright I'm not getting you Ron yeah the question of cremation is it unbiblical I would be irresponsible to just shoot a one-liner Ron but I believe the way I generally answer that is this I believe a strong case for decent burial of the body can be made from the scriptures starting first of all with the theological perspective that the body is not just a shell of what I am as creature made in the image of God my body is a part of me when the scripture speaks of they didn't say they buried Stephen's body they buried Stephen and and to respect what man is as a body soul entity made in the image of God though God has no body part of my image of God is my body and therefore to show respect to that which is in image secondly that is going to be raised in glory God thinks enough of it as we saw last week that Christ does not disunite himself even from the body when it's in the grave that a strong case can be made

48:31 for decent burial under ordinary circumstances now obvious if there's a plague and burning bodies is necessary for public health and well-being the sixth commandment would demand it you're out at sea you're not going to have a rotting corpse on board until you get to port so the counsel I generally give is that from that theological and biblical perspective we ought to pursue in so far as is possible decent burial now that does not mean the most expensive burial and picking out an ornate casket and all of the rest see those are the areas where if we're thinking as Christians we're not going to be bullied along and say well people are going to judge how I loved this person by the obvious expense or non-expense of the casket that's nonsense that's nonsense and we must not be bullied along in that kind of pressure that would be my simplest most reduced answer to that question Ron and what I generally do when people are wrestling with it I sit down then with the scriptures and try to show that and then we can go further and I think demonstrate and there's an excellent article by S.M. Houghton that I have on file demonstrating historically that cremation

50:00 has most often been associated with non-Christian religions and pagan concepts and it's not been a Christian biblical Judaic Christian tradition alright got time for one more question we've got two more minutes yes Justin yeah yeah yeah yeah well I think again it would be simplistic for me to understand , I do believe there are some basic principles that should guide us and this is where advanced directives are helpful and we did not choose the instructive directive where you provide your own this this this but not this this and this but a point a proxy directive and I was my wife's proxy and we talked through what we felt would be the right thing to do in her case but I had that power to overrule any doctor any nurse the power lay with me growing out of the things we talked about you need to be careful of putting this in the hands of someone who's not going to think biblically especially with the growing acceptance of

51:29 euthanasia which is a euphemism not a euphemism it's almost an oxymoron a good death murder's not good and we're to do all within our life our power to preserve our life and the life of others I would never say that we should never use a ventilator there are too many instances where a ventilator has been a good bridge where someone gained back sufficient strength in order to breathe on their own and are living wholesome lives now wholesome and full lives so I would be very reluctant to absolutize and say this but not that that but not this and those are issues that in the days to come some of us in pastoral leadership are going to have to do more reading from responsible biblical Christian ethicist and try to give you some framework of response but it's 1030 got to stop let's pray alright our father we do thank you that your word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway and we pray that even in the matters we've wrestled with today you will help us to be a company of your people determined that Christ shall be magnified not only in our lives but in our deaths help us to that end we pray in Jesus name amen