Major Sins of the Tongue: Abusive Speech

Introduction: Series Context and Subject Introduction

0:02 The following sermon was delivered on Sunday morning, December 8th, 2002, at Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey.

0:14 Now will you turn with me, please, in your own Bibles to the book of Colossians, Paul's letter to the church at Colossae, a church that was being threatened with a teaching that Christ was not enough, that we needed angels to fully secure our access to God, we needed trappings of pagan asceticism and Jewish legalism to secure our Christian life before God, and in this epistle, Paul is just constantly pounding this note, Christ is all and Christ is enough.

0:58 And in the particular part of the letter that I'm going to read, I'm going to read in your hearing, and in which one text will be a key text in our study this morning, he is reminding the Colossians of what they are because of their union with Christ. They have died with Christ, they have been raised to newness of life in Christ, and now he's teasing out the implications of that for the practice of the Christian life. And so I read Colossians 3, verses 1 through 11. Since then you were raised together with Christ.

1:37 Seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are upon the earth. For you died, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall be manifested, then shall we be able to see him.

2:01 And shall you also with him be manifested in glory. Put to death, therefore, your members which are upon the earth, fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry, for which things sake comes the wrath of God upon the sons of disobedience, wherein you also once walked, when you lived in the earth, and now you also put them all away, anger, wrath, malice, railing, shameful speaking out of your mouth.

2:43 Do not lie one to another, seeing that you have put off the old man with his doings, and have put on the new man that is being renewed unto knowledge, after the image of him that created him, where there cannot be Greek and Jew, circumcision and uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, bondman, freeman, but Christ is all, and in all. Now let us again pray and ask God for the help of his spirit in the study of his word.

3:22 Our Father, together we have made large petitions, pleading for the presence and power of the spirit, to convince us of our sin, to reveal Christ, to cheer us, to warm us. O Lord, we pray that you would do all of these things and more. For are you not the God who can do exceeding abundantly above all we could ask or even think, according to the power that is at work in us? So, Lord, we again, by your grace, hold up our empty cups.

4:00 We open our mouths wide, fulfill your promise to preacher and listener alike. You have said, open your mouth wide and I will fill it. O God, come in your filling work this morning, we pray, for Jesus' sake. Amen.

4:22 If someone were to walk up to you sometime today and ask you, what is the fundamental difference between Paul's letter to the church at Rome, what we call the book of Romans, and Paul's first letter to the Corinthians, what we call the book of Corinthians, if they were to ask you, what is the fundamental difference between Romans and Corinthians, both written by the same man, both written to first century churches, what is the fundamental difference between those two letters?

5:04 Well, I trust that many of you, and I hope I'm not being overly optimistic, but I hope that many of you would answer something like this. Well, Romans is a logical, well-structured, comprehensive statement of what the gospel really is, and what the gospel demands in the way of the life of those who believe it. And that you'd say something like this, 1 Corinthians is an intensely pastoral and practical letter, addressing a shopping list of miscellaneous issues

5:43 that were currently hot-button issues at the church at Corinth. Now, do you think you would have answered at least something like that? That's martinized, and I'm not asking would you give it back martinized, but would you answer, I hope, something like that? Well, I hope you would.

6:01 And you would be right. Well, this comparison gives us a helpful paradigm for any biblical and wise, balanced ministry, of the word of God. A wise, balanced ministry of the word of God will many times have elements in it that reflect the structure of the book of Romans. There will be systematic, logical, comprehensive teaching of broad areas of God's revealed truth.

6:31 But then there will also be times when there will be intensely pastoral, focused treatment of specific issues relative to the church at any given period in its life together. Well, for the past couple of years, since concluding our studies verse by verse in the book of 1 Peter, I've been Corinthianizing you. In my own ministry, I've been addressing specific subjects which I and my fellow elders believed it was crucial to address. We address the subject of the Lord's return in the midst of all of the nonsense being taught and written in books and spewed out in the left-behind movies, etc., etc.

7:14 That it was crucial that you, the Lord's people, have a well-grounded, thoroughly biblical understanding of the biblical teaching on the Lord's return in glory and power at the end of the age. And then I took up the subject of the second generation, took up the subject of marriage and motherhood, and homemaking, matters that we believe it was crucial for us to address at this time. And then I announced to you a few weeks ago that prior to, God willing, beginning a study in the book of Romans, there were several areas of Corinthian matters that we felt ought to be addressed

7:58 and that I should address them. And so, we are presently dealing with the subject of the use of our tongues. And as I began this series in the first message, I sought to do but one thing, and that was to persuade you from the scriptures of the profound significance of this subject of the use of our tongues. I set before you five clear biblical categories of truth, all of which point to the profound significance of what we do with this little member that sits between our cheeks and between our jaws.

8:40 And then in the second message, I began to address what I'm calling those major sins of the tongue which are identified and condemned in the scriptures. And at the head of the list was the sin of lying, the deliberate misrepresentation or distortion of the truth with our words. And though we may join with our words, body language, etc., essentially lying is the deliberate misrepresentation of the truth with our words.

Heading 1 — Word Families for Abusive Speech

9:15 And then last Lord's Day, we addressed the second of these major sins, the sin of corrupt or unwholesome talk, with a special focus upon that category of corrupt or unwholesome talk which the apostle identifies in Ephesians 5 and verse 4. Filthiness or obscene talk, foolish talk, and coarse jesting or joking. Now we come this morning to focus our attention on another major category of the sins of the tongue,

9:52 namely abusive, harsh, bitter, and destructive speech. I am referring to that speech in which our tongues become a sword, a sword to pierce, to lacerate, and to dismember the soul of another. Speech in which our tongues become a whip to lash, to scourge, and to raise ugly welts on the soul of another. Speech in which our tongues become a club to beat, to bruise,

10:35 and to break the bones of the soul of another. Speech in which our words are concocted into poison that makes grievously sick the soul of another. And it is a frightening reality addressed in Scripture that your words and mine can become all of those things and more of a destructive and abusive nature. A sword, a whip, a club, and poison.

11:13 And this morning we want to address that sin. I take no pleasure in doing it, but I'm called upon to be faithful to the whole counsel of God's Word. And we'll do so under four headings. And the first is this, an examination of the several major word families, by which this kind of abusive speech is set before us.

11:37 An examination of several major word families by which this kind of abusive speech is set before us. And the first is found in the passage read in your hearing, Colossians 3 and verse 8. I say just a brief word about the context. We're going to look at verse 8.

12:00 I've already alluded to the fact that Paul has been reminding the Colossians of the implications of their saving union with Jesus Christ. And then on the basis of that saving union, they have died with Him, they have been raised to new life in Him, they are to put to death their members upon the earth, verse 5. Verse 12, they are to put on as God's elect. There is the put off, the put on, motif found in the Pauline corpus of New Testament literature.

12:35 And now he tells us what they are to put off. Verse 5, they are to put to death those gross sins of sexual immorality and uncleanness and passion and that inordinate grasping after things that will make a man unscrupulous in his attainment of money, of stuff and of things. But then he reminds them with respect to those grosser forms of sin that these are the very things, verse 6, that provoke the wrath of God upon those who practice them. Verse 7, he says, they were part and parcel of your lifestyle

13:19 before you were converted, wherein you also once walked when you lived in these things. However, he says, now though these things are no longer the pattern of your life, namely fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, covetousness. He says, I want you to put everything that pertains to the former life away. Not only the grosser forms of sin that obviously provoke the wrath of God, but verse 8, but now do you also put them all away.

13:52 Now he focuses first of all on what we would call the sins of the heart. Notice what they are. Anger, wrath, and malice. Anger, that burning disposition of ill will to another.

14:08 Wrath, orge, which would be the out-breaking of that wrath. It would be the difference between an active volcano that just smolders and rumbles, and what that volcano is like when it actually erupts. He says, now put away the smoldering volcano. That deep inner spirit of resentment and ill will, that anger.

14:31 Put away those wretched eruptions of that and put away malice. That spirit that actively desires the harm of another. Maliciousness that wills and seeks the harm of another. He says, put these things away as well.

14:49 Not only the external sins that others can see, the sexual uncleanness, and those things. But put away these sins of the heart. Anger, wrath, and malice. And then he identifies the outer sins of the mouth.

15:08 To which the inner sins of the heart will give birth if they are not put away. And the first that he mentions is railing and shameful speaking out of your mouth.

15:26 When he speaks of railing, he uses a word that is translated in other places as blasphemy. When we transliterate it, give an English equivalent to the Greek word blasphemia, we get blasphemy. So when someone speaks abusively of God and the things pertaining to God, we call it blasphemy. But that's precisely the same word that is used when we speak in an abusive way of others.

15:59 And then it is translated railing. When we speak abusively of God and sacred things, it is blasphemy. When we speak abusively of our fellow men and women, it is railing upon them. In this sense, it is used in Matthew 15 and verse 19.

16:21 I'll just give you several parallel references where the same Greek word is found in the text, Matthew 15 and verse 19. For out of the heart come forth evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witnesses, here's our word, blasphemia, railings, abusive, denigrating speech. Out of the heart comes speech that is the sword to pierce, the club to beat, the poison to make sick the soul of another. It's in this sense that it's used

17:06 in 1 Corinthians 4 and verse 13. The apostle was no stranger to this. Being defamed, we entreat. That's our same word.

17:16 Being blasphemed, being defamed, knowing what it is to have people take their words and use them as a club, take their words and use them as a sword, take their words and concoct poison to the soul. Paul said we're no strangers to that. That's the first word in this family of words and it is joined here in Colossians 3.8 to what is translated shameful speaking.

17:41 As Jeffrey Wilson has said, it is the abusive speech which is itself an abuse of the precious gift of language and is therefore a form of utterance quite unfit for the Christian's mouth. In classical Greek, as Bishop Lightfoot, a great scholar of another generation, has demonstrated, this word was used in two ways. Translated shameful speaking. It could be used of foul mouth, filthy talking.

18:09 I indicated that last week as a secondary support of the Ephesians 4 passage. In this sense, it was foul mouth, filthy talking, but it was also used of abusive language. And you see, the two are not the same. They're far apart.

18:26 Usually, one will bring to the service of abusive language the kind of speech that is foul and filthy. But he demonstrates from classical Greek usage that there was a separate significance and when people wanted to describe abusive language, they would use this word rendered shameful things. So there's the first family of words. Put these all away.

18:54 As much as fornication, evil passion, adultery, murder should have no place among the community of God's people, so this kind of railing, this abusive speech, this shameful speaking, all of it, without compromise, is to be put away from the people of God. Now the next word is one found in 1 Peter 2 and verse 23. And this is a new family of words. Lloyd Doros.

19:26 1 Peter 2 and verse 23. Speaking of how our Lord was treated, who, when he was, here it's rendered, reviled. Reviled, not again. When he suffered, he threatened not, but committed himself to him who judges righteously.

19:51 He was reviled. There was deliberately degrading, insulting, taunting speech, hurled at our Lord in the days of his flesh, but particularly concentrated in the events surrounding his apprehension, his mock trial, and his death upon the cross. And you will find this word used of what people did to him. They taunted him.

20:19 They reviled him. They spoke abusively about him and to him, deliberately speaking in a degrading, insulting, and taunting way. And the apostle was not a stranger to this as well. In 1 Corinthians 4, 12, he uses this word to identify what he also endured.

20:43 And we toil, working with our own hands, being reviled, we bless. Verse 13, being defamed. Another family of words. Now he says, but being reviled.

20:56 Reviled. We know what it is to be the recipients of deliberate, degrading, insulting, taunting speech. But then there's another family of words that is used to set forth this kind of abusive speech. And it's found in Romans 3.

21:16 Here in this list of quotes from the Old Testament where Paul is summarizing his indictment of the entire human race as a sinful race in need of the justifying righteousness of God in Christ. He says in verse 10, as it is written, there is none righteous, no, not one. Then he gets specific in terms of the characteristics of the unrighteous. None that understands.

Heading 2 — Important Qualification: Not All Angry Speech Is Abusive

21:44 None that seeks after God. They've all turned aside. Together become unprofitable. None that does good.

21:50 No, not so much as one. And then he descends to the particular sins. Their throat is an open sepulcher. It's like an open grave.

22:01 When they open their mouth, all the foul rotten stench of rotting flesh. That's the imagery. They have a throat that is like an open sepulcher. With their tongues they have used deceit, the sin of lying.

22:14 The poison of asps is under their lips. That's an allusion to this kind of speech. As when the snake bites, he releases poison that infects the system. But then he goes on to say, whose mouth is full of cursing.

22:31 And here's our word. Bitterness. Bitterness. Now this family of word, bitterness, can mean literally bitterness to the taste.

22:42 James says in James 3.1, 3.11, Does a fountain send forth at the same time both sweet and bitter water? So the word means literally bitter.

22:54 That which registers on the taste buds and in the brain as bitter. It's lemony, not sugary. Alright? Now that word bitter then passes over into a disposition of the heart.

23:08 We see it in Ephesians 4 in verse 31. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking and hear and hear this matter of bitterness is taken from its literal sense of bitter into a state of the heart, a sour acrimonious heart. Bitterness in the heart, but now that bitterness of the heart clothes itself with sour, malicious, venomous words. So the apostle can say, whose mouth is not just occasionally tainted with,

23:52 but whose mouth is full of bitterness. When they open their mouth out comes this kind of abusive, venomous, malicious, sour. Now in summary, you bring all of these words and the family of words together rendered by our English Bibles as railing, shameful or abusive speaking, reviling, and bitterness. And we see that the sin of the tongue which they are all identifying is what I have called abusive, harsh,

24:33 and destructive speech. It is that speech that is indulged when we are cornered by the words of another. And suddenly our words become like the quill on a porcupine. Up they come and we're ready to back into people with our words.

24:54 For they become like that gland under the tail of a skunk when he gets cornered. And up comes our mental tail and out comes skunkish words from our mouth as an attack upon those whom we feel have wronged us. It is that speech which is fed by anger, wrath, resentment, and malice and finds words to attack as weapons. You see, when abusive speech is used, generally speaking, there is a disposition of heart that if left to itself and no other constraints,

25:39 would smash with the fist, would tick with the foot. But since we don't want to be hauled in for assault and battery, we strike with the words and we kick with our mouths. And God says, let all be punished. Surely, as we would not tolerate assault and battery among us, we must have the same antipathy to the assault and battery of the mouth.

26:21 Well, I hope an examination of these passages and these word families has given you a flavor for what I mean when I try to articulate the biblical teaching by speaking of abusive speech. And this sin is not only identified in the New Testament by these several word families, but it's found described in the Old Testament. I give you just a couple of references lest you think, well, this is just a New Testament phenomenon. No.

26:48 Look at Proverbs 12 and verse 18 and you'll see where I got some of the imagery of the sword that pierces. Proverbs 12 and verse 18. Listen to Solomon. There is that speaks rashly, like the piercings of a sword.

27:09 There is a rash speak that is like the piercing of a sword. And see how that imagery is found in the Psalms. Psalm 57 and verse 4. Psalm 57 and verse 4.

27:25 My soul is among lions. I lie among them that are set on fire. Even the sons of men whose teeth are spears and arrows, and their tongue a sharp sword. And 59.

27:43 Psalm 59 and verse 7. An imagery that is brought forward again. Behold, they belch out with their mouth. Swords are in their lips.

27:56 Swords wrapped up in their lips. And when their lips move, out come the swords that pierce and lacerate and dismember. The soul. Well, having set before you under my first heading an examination of the several major word families which identify the sin of abusive speech, secondly, I set before you an important qualification.

28:23 An important qualification. Not all speaking in anger is abusive speech. Not all speaking to another in anger is necessarily abusive speech. Psalm 2 and verse 5 says that Messiah will speak some words and he will do it with unashamed, unveiled anger.

Heading 3 — Where Abusive Speech Is Most Frequently Manifested

29:00 Verse 4 of Psalm 2. In spite of men's attempts to overthrow the reign of Messiah and to break the cords of his government, he that sits in the heavens will laugh. The Lord will have them in derision. Then will he speak unto them in his wrath.

29:17 He will speak in his wrath. Doesn't say he will just speak in his authority. He will speak in his might. He will speak in his power.

29:27 He will speak in his wrath. And he will trouble them in his sore displeasure. Yet have I set my King upon my holy hill of death. If it is inherently sinful to speak in anger, Messiah sins.

29:47 And in the days of his flesh we see him doing this. Mark chapter 3. Mark chapter 3. Our Lord in one of those situations where he has encountered again the squint-eyed, narrow-hearted Pharisees opposing him at every turn.

30:05 And they're taking him to task because he heals a man on the Sabbath. And when our Lord encounters them, notice what we read in verse 5 of Mark 3. And when he, Jesus, had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved at the hardening of their heart, he said to the man, He speaks in an evident disposition of anger, and yet he is the holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinner, perfect savior of sinners. So this important qualification,

30:49 not all speaking in anger is abusive speech. Secondly, not all speech that hurts the one to whom it is given is necessarily abusive speech. Because someone's speech hurts you, you can't run and say, That hurt me. Not necessarily was it abusive.

31:09 How do we know that? Proverbs 27 in verse 6. As one man said, Pastor Martin, what bothers me about you? You've got a text for everything.

31:23 Well, God have mercy. The day I make authoritative statements and don't have a text to validate it. And God have mercy on you if you tolerate it. Proverbs 27 in verse 6.

31:34 Faithful are the soft, gentle, feathery, velvety love strokes of a friend. Is that what your Bible says? That's not what mine says. Mine says faithful are the wounds of a friend.

31:56 Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Now that certainly doesn't mean your friend comes up with a literal knife and cuts you up and says, Hey, you're supposed to regard me faithful. I'm wounded. You go to the doc and get stitched up.

32:10 No, it's speaking of wounds that are inflicted upon the soul by means of words. And they are not necessarily abusive words. They go forth as healing words. The same way the incisions that have been made on my body the seven or eight times I have been on an operating table were loving wounds.

32:31 You walked in the door just when the surgeon was cutting. You say, Hey, what's he doing to that man? Cutting his gut open. Cutting his eyeball open.

32:41 What in the world is he doing? He'll give me faithful love wounds. Try to fix me up. Fix what was wrong with me.

32:48 Faithful are the wounds of a friend. And so I'm 141 in verse 5. The psalmist understood this. Psalmist understood this.

32:59 Psalm 141 and verse 5 where the psalmist says, Let the righteous smite me. He doesn't just say, Let the righteous stroke me. Let the righteous just coddle up to me and whisper something nice. Let him smite me.

33:15 Let him smack me good. Let the righteous smite me. It shall be kindness. Let him reprove me.

33:23 It shall be as oil upon the head. Let not my head refuse it. So, important qualification. Number one, not all speaking in anger is abusive speech.

33:36 Not all speech that hurts is necessarily abusive speech. In fact, when Paul wrote to Titus, he said, Titus, there are certain situations if you don't speak in a way that may have the appearance of abusiveness, you're not being faithful to your commission. Titus chapter 1, verse 13. Having indicted certain cardinal sins of the Cretans, he then says this testimony is true.

34:04 For which cause? Reprove them sharply. You don't just say, Hey guys, don't you think maybe you ought to go home and in your devotions during the next week ask the Lord if maybe perhaps in one way or another you have begun into some degree or another. He says, stop that nonsense.

34:23 He says, you get in their faces and you reprove them sharply. If you happen to walk into the scene where Titus is doing what Paul said, his face may have been red, his jugular vein may have been out and his throat and his finger may have been out. What are you doing, Titus, abusing the sheep of God? He said, no, I'm doing what Paul told me to do.

34:40 I'm rebuking them sharply. And that qualification in this mamby-pamby, effeminized age is desperately needed. Desperately needed. In an age where now they're doing away with all grades in the school because you don't want to bruise the self-esteem of the child who gets a B and the person sitting next to him gets an A.

35:09 Doing away with contact sports. Do you know they've outlawed dodgeball in many states? I couldn't believe some of the stuff I was reading the other day. Somebody might get bruised.

Heading 4 — Concluding Exhortations

35:22 A place for holy sarcasm, folks. You carry that over into the church and men of God will be scared to ever get in anybody's face with an open Bible and a finger under their nose and say, John, you have stepped over the line and you need to be rebuked and rebuked sharply. I've got nothing to prove to you of my love to you. It's been proven over a long period of time and my love is constraining me right now to say you're off base and you need to deal with this now.

35:54 No, when rebukes are given with an element of righteousness, religious passion and sharpness, they will always be motivated by love that seeks the good of its object, always have the restoration of the rebuked as its goal and it's generally given very reluctantly because it causes pain to the one who has to give it. The day any surgeon finds a sadistic delight in cutting people open, he ain't going to be my next surgeon. And the guy that opened my eyeball up, sitting in the wings, I can't wait to dive into that fellow's eyeball. No thank you.

36:37 You need someone else that's got the compassion, that has a sense of reluctance. I don't want to do this, but I must for the good of my patient. Well, we've looked at an explanation of the family of words and I hope I've persuaded you from your Bibles that God does condemn what I'm calling abusive, harsh, cutting speech. I've given this important qualification.

37:02 Now thirdly, I want us to pay attention to some specific descriptions of how and where abusive speech is most frequently manifested. And again, dear people, I take no delight in this, but I believe it's got to be done. How and where is this kind of speech most frequently indulged? Well, we're going to look briefly at the domestic sphere and then various social spheres and then the ecclesiastical sphere.

37:32 Those three spheres. And we start with the domestic. Why? Because those nearest this weapon are most likely to feel its jabs, its clubbing, its poisonous effect.

37:48 And that's the domestic sphere. The wife who's disappointed with her husband in one way or another and begins to demean him and rail on him in the presence of her kids. She's guilty of what is condemned in all these passages. She uses her tongue.

38:12 She's not big enough to get the galoot in the next room and beat the tar out of him. So she uses this to beat the car out of him. Not only privately, but she'll do it around her kids. And she'll use her tongue like a rapier to cut him down in the eyes of her children.

38:32 She'll use it as a club to beat on him in her frustration. And he may have some very real frustrating faults. But my Bible says, do you put all of these away? That's for the wife who's got a frustrating husband and so many things about him that are club worthy.

38:53 Don't club him with your words. Don't stab him with your words. Don't poison his soul with your words. It may be a disappointed and angry husband who may make insulting remarks about his wife before the kids.

39:08 Her looks, her weight, her abilities. Compare her with others. Oh, but so and so, does this. And you only...

39:15 That's abusive speech, folks. It should have absolutely no place in our marital relationships. And if in moments of weakness the tongue becomes that sword, the tongue becomes that club, the tongue becomes that whip, the tongue becomes that poison, we have immediate occasion for repentance before God, before our spouses, and before anyone else in the house. And we're not in that situation of being the only one who has seen us turn our tongue into the whip, the scourge, the club, and the poison.

39:52 Parents to children, again, a child frustrates you and you don't believe that what the child has done is worthy of a principled, godly application of the rod so you rail on that child with words. You stupid idiot, you dummy, you clumsy ox. What are you doing? You're cutting, cutting you're bruising you're lacerating you're poisoning the soul of that child in my pastoral experience i've had to deal with people whose bruises and cuts and wounds of the soul were as

40:34 real as any cuts and wounds and bruises i've ever seen on a human body because of parents who use their words like clubs and swords and whips and poison in god's name i plead with you parents do you also put them all away abusive speech out of your mouth the little jingle sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me that's a lot of baloney

41:14 the names in many ways hurt far more than the sticks and the stones my grandchildren seem to have a particular proclivity for broken bones so i've seen them bust a number of bones over the years and have their casts four to six weeks the cast is off and their back to life is normal the bones heal beautifully but i've seen people whose souls have been stabbed and whipped and bruised and poisoned, struggling decades,

41:53 and the wound is not healed.

41:57 I beg you, don't do it. And if you've been doing it, go home today and sit down with your children and beg their forgiveness and say that by the grace of God in this home, this will have no more place than a club, a sword, a whip, or a bottle of poison would have a place in this family.

42:26 I'm not talking about Mom and Dad putting up the paddle when you need the paddle. I talked about a club. So don't anyone go home and say, Pastor said you ought to put your paddle away, Mom. No, no.

42:35 Don't you try to hide behind me because your Mom and Dad will come to me and then I'll come to you and we'll sort that out. So, no, no. We're not talking about putting away the paddle. It may be a legitimate means to give you what the Bible says you need and deserve at times.

42:50 But when I use the word club, I'm talking about an instrument that goes far beyond an instrument for legitimate corporal punishment of a child. Well, what about our various social spheres in the workplace? How easy it is when the boss does something that you'd like to kick him in the backside.

Closing Illustration and Closing Prayer

43:13 You say, Pastor, that's not very spiritual. I mean, you never felt that way even though you're a Christian? Tell me your secret.

43:22 No, the boss will do something at times you'd like to just give him a good boot in the backside. You can't, so what do you do?

43:30 You boot him with your words.

43:33 If not to his face, to someone else. And vice versa. Some of you in places of authority and responsibility. How easy it is to speak demeaningly.

43:44 To speak in a way to those under you in which you are using your words in an abusive way. And God says, stop it. There's the social sphere of the workplace, in the school. Oh, to get rid of it.

43:59 There's the cattiness, particularly of young girls.

44:03 A guy's big temptation is trying to brag by using bathroom language. Girls, you are the cattiest bunch of creatures on the face of the earth. Oh, did you see so-and-so look at that dress. All the while, you're envious of that.

44:18 You've got bitter envy in your heart. And what do you do? You make your tongue into a little snake and you let it loose to speak in a demeaning, abusive way. God says, put that away.

44:31 Cattiness, that kind of pickiness should have absolutely no place with regard to people's looks, their clothes, their new glasses. Amazing. What things we'll pick up and use as an occasion for abusive speech.

44:54 What about on the road when you're driving and somebody does something real stupid? Nobody's in the car but you and God. And you happen to notice that it's a female. What do you say, man?

45:06 Oh, that stupid woman driver. What do you women do? You notice it's a male? Isn't that an arrogant male?

45:14 And all of your incipient, all of your incipient chauvinism in both directions comes out. The anger gives birth to the abusive language. God's there. God hears it.

45:31 Though no one else does.

45:36 These are the spheres in which abusive language can leap out of our mouths. And God says, put it away. Then the ecclesiastical sphere. You have this clear word in James 4, 11.

45:48 Speak not evil one of another, brethren. Don't speak against one another, brethren. Galatians 5 in verse 15. He says, if you bite and devour, take heed that you don't eat one another up.

46:02 There's the picture of our words being like a ravenous beast. And he says to believers, brethren,

46:10 desist from all of this with respect to God. With respect to all of these forms and I've only given you a sampling. Listen to the word of God in Colossians 3 and verse 8. But now, do you also put them all away?

46:29 The anger, the wrath, and the malice, the dispositions of the heart, the railing and the shameful speaking out of your mouth.

46:41 So I've tried to open up the word families, give an important, qualification, give some specific descriptions. Now I come to some concluding exhortations regarding the sin of abusive speech. And I have two very vital exhortations. Number one, some of you must face the fact that your willful pattern of this sin of abusive speech is irrefutable proof that you are unconverted and that you are not in the state of grace.

47:24 Now listen again to what I've said. You must face the fact that a willful pattern of the sin of abusive speech is irrefutable proof that you are an unconverted man or woman, boy or girl. You are not in a state of grace. And why do I say that?

47:47 Well, I could argue from Romans 3, 14, 14b where Paul is giving a description of unconverted humanity and he says that their mouth is full of bitterness. And to have a mouth full of bitterness is to be yet in the state of an unrighteous, unconverted, unsaved man or woman. But I want to argue more cogently from two passages in 1 Corinthians and I want you to turn to them with me if you will please. 1 Corinthians chapter, 5 verses 9 to 11. Now remember what I'm

48:26 trying to do. I'm trying to support my blunt dogmatic assertion that if abusive speech is the pattern of your life, it is irrefutable proof that you are not converted. You are not a child of God. And I say that because of these two passages. 1 Corinthians

48:48 5 verses 9 to 11. Paul says, I wrote unto you in my epistle. He's referring to a previous letter that's been lost in the sovereign will and purpose of God. God did not see to it that it was preserved and made part of our New Testaments. So that

49:07 doesn't trouble us at all, but we do know that Paul wrote a previous letter. I wrote unto you in my epistle to have no company with fornicators. He had written a directive that they were not to enter in to intimate relationships as a matter of choice with the sexually unclean. But he said, now I did not mean with the fornicators of this world or with the covetous or extortioners or with idolaters for then you must needs go out of the world.

49:39 In other words, he said, now when I told you this I wasn't saying, dissociate yourself in every single respect from anyone who fits these categories of crass, gross, immoral lifestyle. He said, if that were so, then you'd have to go out of the world. And what the Corinthians had done, they had taken Paul's directive, they had put an extreme and ludicrous significance on it, so that way they exempted themselves from obeying it. They said, well if he says that, then this is what it would mean, so let's just forget it.

50:09 It's an undoable directive. So he said, no, no, I'm correcting that now. I'm helping you Corinthians to understand what you should have understood originally. I did not mean with the fornicators of this world, the covetous, extortioners, idolaters, but as it is, I wrote unto you, not to keep company, now notice, if a man that is named a brother, here's someone that takes upon himself the profession of being a Christian.

50:37 If that one is a fornicator, that is, he has a lifestyle of sexual impurity, or covetous, he's a money-grabbing unscrupulous man, ride over anything or anybody to get his bucks, or he goes and worships at an idol's temple, now notice, skip over that one and the next two, or a drunkard, he's a man whose bottle is his God, or an extortioner, that is, he's someone who'll shake down other people for money, he's unscrupulous with respect to taking advantage, and notice he nestles in the midst of these gross forms of sin, or

51:18 a reviler. He says, if someone has a lifestyle of abusive speech, he's in the same category of a patently unconverted man, woman, boy, or girl as is the man who has a pattern of fornicating, of coveting, of worshipping idols, of drunkenness, and extortion. That's pretty plain stuff, and therefore I say, if you sit here this morning and abusive speech is your pattern of life, it's your lifestyle, you have no grounds to claim

52:03 you're a child of God. And that's why Paul says, with such a one, you're not to have any company, you're to judge that one, such a one should be put out of the church, if he's in the church, what have we to do with judging them that are without? Do we not judge them that are within? But them that are without, God judges, put away the wicked man from among yourselves, and who's a wicked man? The person

52:27 who has a lifestyle of abusive speech, along with the drunkard, along with the sexually unclean, along with the worshipper of idols, the reviler has no grounds to claim he is a child of God. Now in chapter 6, he makes a similar statement, verse 9, Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? That's a question, a rhetorical question. Do you Corinthians not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? We are all natively

53:05 unrighteous, yes, but if we're Christians, we become righteous in two ways. We've been regenerated by the Spirit, we've repented and believed the gospel, we have an imputed righteousness in union with Christ, 1 Corinthians 1.30, but of him are you in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption. So that though natively unrighteous, a true believer is a righteous man with a righteousness that is perfect in Christ, but he's righteous in a second way. He's been regenerated,

53:41 he's been given a new heart, the Spirit of God has been given to him, a principle of obedience to God, he's been set apart unto God in union with Christ and in the dynamics of grace he begins to work out a practical righteousness and Paul says, do you not know that those devoid of righteousness in both senses shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Then he gives an exhortation, don't be deceived, don't let anyone delude you, don't delude yourself. And now he's going to get specific, neither fornicators, and here he's using pornea in its more limited sense of those who indulge in all forms of sexual aberration

54:25 apart from and in distinction from those who violate the marriage covenant, for he deals separately with adulterers later on. Do not be deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men, practicing homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you, but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the spirit of our God. Here again, in the

55:09 midst of all of these sins he places the reviler, the one who is guilty as a pattern of life of abusive speech. His tongue is no stranger to being made a sword to pierce a club to beat, a lash to whip. His tongue is no stranger to the alchemy of poison to make sick the souls of those around him. I say to anyone in this place, if that is you, you are not a child of God.

55:45 You have no grounds to claim that you have acquaintance with God's transforming grace.

55:55 That's pretty plain stuff.

55:58 That's true of any of you kids who are developing an unholy art of abusive speech. It's true you men were guilty of this with your wives. Wives with your husband. It's a way of life.

56:13 It's a pattern with you. You've learned to live with it. Maybe those around you have mustered up enough moral courage to tolerate it. But almighty God doesn't treat it with indulgent toleration.

56:31 That's my first word of exhortation to you. And what you need is you need to go to the fountain open for sin and uncleanness. You need what these Corinthians got. Such were some of you. But

56:43 they were washed, set apart unto God from these sins. Declared righteous in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit. You need to get into Christ to know the righteousness of God that is in him. And you need the Spirit of God to cut out your heart of stone that spews forth your abusive speech. For out of the abundance

57:07 of the heart, the mouth speaks. That's what you need. That's what the Corinthians needed. But then my second word of exhortation is this. That some of you

57:18 must face the fact that though you're not guilty of the sin of abusive speech as a pattern of life. Hear me carefully now. Yet, its frequency in your life is evidence of shameful, inexcusable, spiritual immaturity and retardedness. Retarded growth.

57:41 You're not guilty of this sin of abusive speech as a pattern of life. Yet, its frequency in your life is evidence of shameful, inexcusable, spiritual immaturity and retarded growth. You remember when Paul was dealing with the Corinthians in 1 Corinthians 3 with respect to their sin of a schismatic spirit?

58:07 I'm a Paul. I'm of Apollos. He has to indict them and say, look, when one says, I'm a Paul, I'm of Apollos, are you not carnal and walk as men in this area? One would not know you from the unregenerate.

58:23 This was not the total lifestyle. This was in this particular area. And he says, you're like babes. There's been arrested growth. There is a spiritual

58:32 infancy that is culpable. For a six-month-old child to act like a six-month-old child is not culpable. But, for a six-year-old child to act like a six-month-old child is pathetic or horribly culpable. And so, if this sin is outcropping in your life with a frightening frequency, this is an indication of spiritual immaturity and retarded growth.

59:01 And what you need is the exposure that's come to you in the Scriptures today. And you need to have some dealings with God. You need to be prepared. To go before God and own this sin and say, God, this has got to stop.

59:18 And bring to bear upon it all of the dynamics of the grace of God in union with Jesus Christ. You need to read a passage like James 3. Soak your soul with it. And then come to a passage like Colossians 3 and say, Lord, help me to take hold of the reality that in union with Christ I've died to sin.

59:41 I've been raised to newness of life. I'm seated with Him. I'm indwelled by the Spirit. I have all the supplies that are in Christ Jesus.

59:50 Lord, I'm determined that this thing is going to be dealt with. Dealt with in such a way that within weeks your kids will see the difference. Your wife will see the difference. Your husband will know the difference.

60:06 And I didn't deal with that third category in the interest of time. But it crops out in the ecclesiastical realm. As well, when our tongues can be used as a lash in our frustration with our elders, rather than coming to them and expressing our frustration honestly and openly. We lash out in the presence of others.

60:32 We lash out about a brother, about a sister. Dear brethren, as far as I know, our congregation has no widespread infection with this horrible thing. But an ounce of prevention is worth more than ten pounds of cure. And I trust that as God has put the spotlight upon this sin, that by the grace of God we will pray, Lord, lead me not into temptation.

60:59 And for any who are among us this morning who thought, well, this is all a tempest in a teapot, what's a few words? Someone was kind enough to send on to me this week an excerpt they found in John Bunyan's sermon, Sighs from Hell. This section on the tongue, and I want to read it to you. It's not lengthy.

61:20 His sermon is based on Lazarus and the rich man, the rich man in hell crying, send me a drop of water. Oh, then they will cry one ounce of ease for my cursing, swearing, lying, jeering tongue. Some ease for my bragging, braving, flattering, threatening, lying tongue. Now men can let their tongues run at random, as we used to say.

61:48 Now they'll be apt to say, our tongues are our own. Who shall control? Tell them, Psalm 12 in verse 4. But then they will be of another mind.

61:57 Then they will say, oh, that I might have a little ease for my deceitful tongue. Me think sometimes to consider how some men do let their tongues run at random. It makes me marvel. Surely they do not think they should be made to give an account for their offending with their tongue.

62:13 Did they but think that they should be made to give an account to him who is ready to judge the quick and the dead. Surely they would be more wary of and have more regard to the use of their tongues. And do you think the Lord will sit still, as I may say, and let your tongue run as it desires, and yet never bring you to account for the same? No, wait. The Lord

62:35 will not always keep silence, but will reprove you and set your sins in order before your eyes. Oh, sinner, yes, and your tongue, together with the rest of your members, shall be tormented for sinning. And I say, and am very confident that though this be made light of now, yet the time is coming when many poor souls will rue the day they ever spoke with their tongues. Oh, will one say that I should so disregard my tongue? Oh, that

63:05 I, when I said this or that, had bitten off my tongue, that I'd been born without a tongue. My tongue, my tongue, a little water.

63:21 Bunyan took it seriously because he read his Bible. God help you. God help me to take it seriously because we read the same Bible. Let's pray.

63:34 Our Father, we understand a bit more fully why the Holy Prophet cried out,

63:49 I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips. Oh, Lord, cleanse us of our sins of abusive speech. And by the power of the Spirit, give us the tongue of the wise that heals, that comforts, that graciously rebukes and wounds where necessary, and deliver us from all of the wicked, devilish abuse of this marvelous faculty of speech. Forgive us, Lord, when this noble faculty has been used of the devil to be that piercing sword,

64:34 that aggressive and stinging whip, and that bruising club, and that sickening poison. Have mercy upon us, O God. Help us. With the psalmist we cry, set a watch upon my lips. Keep the

64:52 door of my mouth. And then, Lord, deal with the inner dispositions, for you have said that it's out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks. Cleanse our hearts. Fill our hearts with more love to you, more love to your word, more love for holiness, more love for your Son, more love for one another, more love for a lost world.

65:17 O Lord, help us. Have dealings with us. Do not leave us to ourselves. Thank you for your presence with us, and now we pray your blessing to rest upon us as we leave this place.

65:32 May the word not leave, and may we not leave. May not leave it, but may we cherish it, enfold it in our hearts by prayer and meditation and instant obedience in the strength of the Spirit. Hear us and answer us. We plead in Jesus' name.

65:50 Amen.