Biblical View of Marriage is Vital

Introduction: The Relevance of 1 Corinthians 7 in a Decadent Age

0:00 The following sermon was delivered at Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey, by Pastor Albert N. Martin.

0:10 Now let us turn together in our Bibles to 1 Corinthians chapter 7. 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

0:21 I shall read the first seven verses of this chapter of God's Word. Now concerning the things whereof you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman, but because of fornications or various forms of sexual uncleanness, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife her due, and likewise also the wife unto her husband. The wife does not have power over her own body, but the husband.

1:07 And likewise. Likewise also the husband does not have power over his own body, but the wife. Defraud not one the other, except it be by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves unto prayer, and may be together again, that Satan does not tempt you because of your incontinency. But this I say by way of concession.

1:37 Not of commandment. Yet I would that all men were even as I myself. How be it, each man has his own gift from God, one after this manner, and another after that.

1:57 The moral face of American society looks more and more like the face of the first century Greco-Roman world, the world into which... the gospel came with life-transforming power in the early days of the Christian church.

2:18 There was a time in my own brief lifetime when such passages as Romans 1, 18 to 32 seemed like a description of society long ago and far away. But now Romans 1, 18 to 32 is...

2:40 as current as tomorrow's newspaper, and as current and relevant as the next TV sitcom that becomes the rage of the TV-watching set. As a result of this parallelism and moral degeneracy, there are many portions of the New Testament that take on an entirely new relevance, especially portions in those letters, the...

3:11 the epistles that we call the epistles, written by the apostles or the apostolically approved penmen, helping to guide new believers in the midst of a climate of extensive moral degeneracy. Epistles written to ground them in their faith and to teach them how to live out the life-transforming power of the gospel in the midst of such decadent society. in the midst of such decadent society. in the midst of such decadent society.

3:40 societies. And so we come tonight to the fifth message in a series in which I've been attempting to open up some of these relevant biblical passages and perspectives dealing with the subject, the divine antidote to sexual impurity, or to state it positively, a divine prescription for sexual purity. In the first three messages, I set before you four propositions that form the foundation for a biblical perspective on this issue. In the next message, Last Lord's Day Evening, we looked at 1 Corinthians 6, verses 12 to 20, a passage in which the central contribution is this. As a Christian, a biblical Christian, a biblical Christian, a biblical Christian, a biblical understanding of my body is essential to sexual purity. Now, those four foundational propositions, the exposition of 1 Corinthians 6, 12 to 20, are all on tape, available in the lending library of the Trinity Church, or you may purchase them from the Trinity Pulpit. I'm not saying a thing by way of review. I simply will not have time to do that and open up

Celibacy as a Good Option Under Specific Circumstances (Verse 1)

5:01 the passage. That passage being 1 Corinthians 7, verses 1 to 7. And if I were asked to try to give in one sentence what the distilled essence of this passage is, I would answer in this way. The teaching of this passage is this. Ordinarily, a godly marriage in which a husband and wife are fulfilling their biblically defined marriage, is a marriage in which a husband and wife are fulfilling their biblically defined marriage, is a marriage in which a husband and wife are fulfilling their biblically defined marriage. I gave the answer in that sentence. And so it is shown in the following passage. The teaching of this passage can be reduced to that rather lengthy sentence, but I did not know how to be accurate and cut out any of the phrases or clauses. As we wrestle with

5:56 the issue, how are we to be sexually pure in an impure age? A question very relevant relevant to the Corinthian Christians, Paul's answer is that ordinarily a godly marriage in which a husband and wife are fulfilling their biblically defined sexual responsibilities and privileges is a primary means for the avoidance of sexual impurity. Now my method in opening up the passage tonight will be similar to the method I used last week. You who take notes will not find me in my ordinary pattern of Roman numeral 1, 2, generally 3, sometimes 4 headings. We're going to work down through the verses, verse 1, verse 2, verse 3, verse 4, and I've chosen this method because the more I studied the passage, the more I became convinced that as the Apostle Paul took up this subject in response to a concern raised by the Corinthians that under the guidance of the Apostle Paul, I would not be able to do that. Under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, he was led to address it in such a way that each statement seems to flower into the next, and into the next, and into the next, and that the best way to grasp the mind of the Spirit of God in the passage is to work one's way through as it stands before us in the text itself.

7:23 So then we come to consider this ordinary and oft times a primary means in the avoidance of sexual impurity, a godly marriage conducted within the framework of biblical directives for mutual sexual privileges and responsibility. Verse 1, now concerning the things whereof you wrote, and whether this was the first concern in their communication to Paul, or whether he picked it out of a list and inverted the order, we do not know, but it obviously was questions or aches. And so Paul's first statement is this, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. And if we take this statement in the light of the entire context, here's the heart of what Paul is saying. Under certain circumstances yet to be mentioned, celibacy is a good thing and in some cases a desired option. Under certain circumstances yet to be mentioned, celibacy is a good thing and in some cases a desired option.

8:45 Now the key word in the passage is the word touch or the phrase touch a woman. And this is a euphemism for sexual relations. In Genesis 20 verses 4 and 6, if we were reading this passage in the Greek translation of the Old Testament scriptures, we would find this very word used in both of these passages. Now Abimelech had not come near her, and he said, Lord, will you slay even a righteous nation?

9:18 He had not touched her. He had not had sexual relations with her, that is with Sarah. Verse 6, and God said unto him in the dream, Yea, I know that in the integrity of your heart you have done this. I withheld you from sinning against me, therefore suffered I you not to touch her.

9:42 You find a similar usage in Proverbs 6 and verse 29. It is a euphemism, that is, a term the meaning of which is obvious to all who hear it, and it is used not because Paul was a prude. As he further unfolds the teaching, it is clear he is not prudish. He is very earthy.

10:06 He is very frank and straightforward. But you see, Paul understood that there is no virtue in being crude.

10:16 And euphemisms are the dress of a civil society. And if you want to know how much we have lost common civility, just see how there are so few euphemisms. The in thing is to be crude under the guise of being up front and telling it like it is. No one can read this passage and misunderstand what Paul means.

10:47 He is not saying anything about men shaking hands with women. If he was saying it is good for a man not to touch a woman, we ought not to shake hands, we ought to have absolutely no physical contact. That is not what he is saying. It is a euphemism for sexual relations.

11:03 And what he is saying is this. It is good for a man, all other things being equal under circumstances that he will yet mention in this chapter, to be celibate, and in some cases, it is a desired option. Now notice the text does not say it is better. It is best.

11:25 There are Greek words for better, the word of comparison. There are Greek words for better. There are Greek words for better. There are Greek words for the best, the superlative.

11:33 Paul uses none of them. He simply says if someone is in a celibate state and remains in that state, it is a good, not an evil state. It is not morally superior. It is not spiritually advanced.

11:52 That is the nonsense of Roman asceticism and of any other kind of asceticism. Paul says, Paul simply says, and he may have been quoting a phrase that had become common at Corinth in their reaction against all of the moral degeneracy, he may have, we cannot prove this, but there are a number of commentators who feel there is sufficient evidence to suggest that Paul may be taking one of their own phrases, the same way he did in chapter 6, all things are awful, that he may have picked up something that would have a familiar ring, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. All he is saying is that under certain circumstances yet to be mentioned, celibacy is a good thing and in some cases a desired option. Now, what are the certain circumstances yet to be mentioned? Well, the first is mentioned in verse 7. Yet I would all men were even as I myself, how be it, each man has his own gift from God.

12:58 A man is to remain. A man is to remain celibate, and it will be a good thing if he is given the special charism, the special gift of celibacy. Without such a gift, he will have sexual burning, not merely feel, as Calvin said, sexual heat, but burning, and in which case, he says in verse 9, if they have not continency, if they have not been given a special charism, a special gift of celibacy, then they will have celibacy, let them marry, for it is better, ah, now the word of comparison, from good to better, it is better to marry than to burn. So that's the first condition, a special gift. Secondly, if one is living in unusually distressful times, verses 25 to 27, concerning virgins, I have no commandment of the Lord, I give my judgment. I think, therefore, that this is good by reason of the stress that is upon me. It is upon us that it is good for a man to be as he is, and there he expounds what he means, that it is good for one to remain celibate, if he is given the special gift, if living in unusually distressful times.

14:17 Thirdly, if one may serve God more single-mindedly, verses 32 to 36. It's not my purpose to expound them. You can read them for yourself as well as I. But verse 19.

14:30 Now, look at the teaching. It is good for a man not to touch a woman. That statement, read in its context, sets before us this fact, that under certain circumstances, yet to be mentioned, celibacy is a good thing, and in some cases, a desired option. Verse 2.

Marriage as a Mandate for Avoiding Sexual Impurity (Verse 2)

14:53 But, because of fornications, let each man have his own wife. And let each woman have her own husband. What is the essence of this verse? It's teaching.

15:09 It is this. However, Paul says, in light of the real danger of various forms of sexual impurity, everyone who does not have the gift of continence should enter into a monogamous, heterosexual marital commitment. That's what Paul is saying. Let me give it to you again.

15:35 However, in light of the real danger of various forms of sexual impurity, everyone who does not have the gift of continence should enter into a monogamous, heterosexual marital commitment. Note the transition. Celibacy is good under circumstances that I will yet mention. But, and here's the thing.

16:02 Here he has a word of transition. There is another side to the coin. But, notice now how realistic he is. Because, on account of, not fornication singular, but on account of fornications plural, on account of the various forms of sexual deviation and impurity to which you Corinthians are continually exposed, on account of fornications.

16:31 Let each woman, let each man. Now, what were those various forms of fornication? Well, just look back at chapter 6 and verse 9. Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God?

16:45 Be not deceived. Neither fornicators, used in its more limited sense, the sexually impure, that is, those who traffic in extramarital or non-marital sexual relations, nor idolaters, nor idolaters, those who break the marriage covenant, extramarital intimacies, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men, various forms of homosexual deviation. These are some of the forms of fornication, pornia in the plural. He says, but because of these various forms of sexual impurity, which in a very heightened, broad way, were part of the very air of current, even as it's part of the air of our own present national moral climate. To read, as I did in the New York Times a week ago Monday, or two weeks ago Monday, and shared with the singles a week ago Friday, half a page with an elected representative in Washington, daring to speak so shamelessly.

18:02 That's the nature of being a homosexual pervert, and how for six years he's been committed to converting the Republican Party to make it the party of the perverts. Of course, they use their euphemism, those of differing sexual preference, gays, et cetera. But that's the climate in which all forms of sexual perversion are constantly paraded before us, seeking to erode the conscience. stir up the passions and to lead us into paths contrary to the will of God. Paul the realist knew what it was like at Corinth. He labored there for 18 months. He had to receive the report that he had to deal with in chapter 5. He said a form of sexual uncleanness not even named among most pagans. He was a gutsy realist. And he says now the celibate state

18:57 is good, given certain factors, but the reality is this. Because of various forms of sexual impurity, let each man, singular, have his own wife, singular, and each woman, singular, have her own husband, singular. What is mandated as the only divinely ordained framework for the election? It is the avoidance of sexual uncleanness by legitimate sexual activity. It is not same-sex perversion. It is not self-sex indulgence. It's not other-creature abomination. It is monogamous, heterosexual marital commitment. You see that in the text? It is monogamous.

19:54 That is one, mono. Let the husband, let the man have a wife. Let the woman have a husband. No bigamy, no polygamy. It is monogamous, heterosexual. The man is to have a woman for a wife, and the woman to have a man. Ten years ago, I wouldn't have had to underline that from the text. It would have been there. I would have preached over it and said, everybody knows

20:25 heterosexual monogamy. It is the will of God. No, everyone does not know it. When you can read the stuff and hear the stuff from so-called Christian gays, Christian lesbians, you know that Corinth is dictating the morality of large segments of the professing Christian church. No, Paul says, under certain circumstances yet to be mentioned, celibacy is a good thing, in some cases a desired option. However, in light of the real danger of various forms of sexual impurity, everyone who does not have the gift of continence should enter into a monogamous, heterosexual marital commitment. Now note, in this passage, verse 2, Paul is not giving the reason for which marriage was instituted.

21:25 You go back to Genesis 1 and 2 to find out the reason. You go to Ephesians 5 and you learn that before the foundation of the world, God envisioned

21:38 a situation in which His highest and most marvelous work would be mirrored in the marriage relationship, Christ and the church. And marriage was designed way back in the garden that it would be the great picture of that greatest work of God in which Christ would have the preeminence, even the work of redemption. Paul is not giving in this passage the reason for which marriage was instituted. There were no dangers of various kinds of sexual impurity in the original creation. But what Paul is doing, he's identifying persons for whom marriage is a necessity. You see the difference? He is not giving the reason for which marriage was instituted. But in this passage, he is identifying persons for whom marriage is a necessity. You see the difference? He is not

22:29 saying whatever has happened to sex, other objects around you that areortexed, sexual impurity,핑, he's identifying persons for whom marriage is a necessity. But in this realistic setting after the fall, in the midst of a society dripping with pressures to impurity, He's identifying the persons for whom it is a necessity. And what He says is that because of these various forms of sexual uncleanness, let each

22:53 have …. That sounds like, well, that's a word of permission but it isn't. It is a present imperative. It is a mandate. It's not a suggestion. It's not mere permission. It is an imperative.

23:11 Two present imperatives. Because of sexual uncleanness in all of its forms, each man must have his own wife, and each woman must have her own husband. Now we say we believe in plenary verbal inspiration. That when the biblical writer sat down to write or to dictate to others who wrote for them, that the very words, the very tenses are dictated of God. These are two imperatives. I didn't make them imperatives. The Holy Ghost did.

Mutual Sexual Responsiveness as a Marital Duty (Verse 3)

23:46 All right? Now we come to verse 3. Let the husband render unto the wife her due, and likewise also the wife unto the husband. Now what's the basic teaching of verse 3? It's this, and then I'll seek to demonstrate it. Marital commitment is a means to maintain sexual purity only, only when each partner freely responds to the legitimate sexual needs of the other. Let me give it to you again. Marital commitment is a means to maintain sexual purity only when each partner, freely responds to the legitimate sexual needs of the other. Look at the text again.

24:37 Let the husband render unto the wife her due, and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The key words are render and do. And if you were to take your concordance and look up the use of these words as they are found in their various families in the original, you would find that the word for render is render. And if you were to take your concordance and look up the use of these words as they are found in their various families in the original, you would find that the word for render is render. And if you were to take your concordance and look up the use of these words as they are found in their various families in the original, you would find that the word for render is render. And if you were to take your concordance and look up the use of these words as they are found in their various families in the original, you would find that the word for render is render. And if you were to take your concordance and look up the use of these words as they are found in their various families in the original, you would find that the word for render is render. And if you were to take your concordance and look up the use of these words as they are found in their various families in the original, you would find that the word for render is render. And if you were to take in Matthew 18 when Peter said, Lord, how many times should I forgive someone? And the Lord gives a parable to show that forgiveness doesn't keep any checklist of numbers of times. It is a disposition of the heart. In that parable where He talks about the servant who had much forgiven, the other servant who had less forgiven, and the rest, eight, seven times this verb is used.

25:35 Always translated, pay, pay, pay, pay, pay what you owe, pay, pay. It's a commercial term. And the word do is also a commercial term and it speaks of an obligation as with a debt. Right here in Matthew 18.32, this word is used, then His Lord called unto Him and said, You wicked servant, I forgave you all that, here's our word, all that debt. I forgave you all that you owed Me. Now put the two words together and what do we have? We have the Spirit of God saying to a gathered assembly of saints at Corinth with men, men, women, married and single, boys and girls.

26:15 That's why I have no embarrassment preaching the mind of the Spirit of God in this passage. That's how it came originally. And we're just going back and taking that letter in our English versions and seeking to understand it in the light of the use of these words. Here's what God says to all of the husbands and all of the wives.

26:37 Remember now, this is in the context of avoiding various forms of sexual immorality. Paul has not lost his track. Let the husband, isn't it interesting, he starts with the husband rendering to the wife her due and likewise also the wife unto the husband. Here is absolute equality in the rendering of due to one another and he starts with the husband's due to his wife and then the wife's due to the husband.

27:13 In many areas of the marital relationship there is a divine structure of hierarchy. The husband is head, as Christ is head of the church. But in treating this aspect of marital privilege and responsibility there is a level playing field. Absolute equality.

27:34 And once again, we are met with imperatives. We are met with an imperative. Let the husband, husband render in another present imperative. The husband must render to the wife her due and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

27:55 Now that raises the question that I am sure is in the minds of some already. What is due? What is owed as a debt? Once one enters the marriage covenant and incurs a perpetual indebtedness to one's marriage partner, the wife to the husband, the husband to the wife, what is involved in what is due?

28:19 Well, Paul doesn't tell us in this passage. He doesn't have a little footnote, number four, look down and then five paragraphs and this is what is due and give us a little mini-marriage manual. Paul assumes that there would be an understanding of what I have called the legitimate sexual needs of the other. And we must turn to Paul and say, turn to other passages in the Word of God to understand the biblical framework of what constitutes legitimate sexual needs.

28:55 For example, in Romans 1.26, twice Paul speaks of sexual perversion that is culpable or which is culpable even among those who have never seen the pages of a Bible. He uses this term. They do that which is against nature.

29:14 Women with women, men with men. Twice he says against nature. Does not nature itself teach you? Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11, there is a natural use of the woman.

29:29 There is a natural use of the man. There is a perverted use of the woman and a perverted use of the man. This notion that a marriage covenant and a marriage license gives license to any form of sexual activity is pagan. It is not biblical.

29:51 It is not biblical. That which is against nature is a moral culpability in pagans, how much more among believers. Well, what is against nature? I'm not prepared to tell you.

30:07 The Bible doesn't. You must wrestle that through before God. There are passages, such as Leviticus 18, 19 to 30, which speak of certain sexual practices, God says, for which I vomited out those nations in the land of Canaan. You are not to indulge in them.

30:25 God had to specify practices that were considered acceptable sexual behavior among the pagans. And he says to his covenant people, don't do it. And yet the scripture says eventually they did worse than the nations. The pressure you see, the pressure of a decadent society is exceedingly powerful.

30:48 That's why Paul says in a passage I hope to open up the first night after vacation, God willing, 1 Thessalonians 4, Paul says in verses 4 and 5 that each one of you know how to possess himself of his own vessel in sanctification and in honor, not in the passion of lust as the Gentiles, who know not God. He makes a marked distinction between believers in all the facets of marital intimacy being marked by sanctification and honor. Set apartness unto God, under the eye of God, within the framework of the law of God, and it is marked by honor. And that's set in direct contrast to the passion of lust. Ungovernable lust drives the passions and unbridled passions frames the lusts that should not mark the intimate life of believers. More of that, God willing, when we come to the passage.

31:59 But here we are telling us in this passage, the apostle is telling us, that if marriage is to be a means of sexual purity, that marital commitment will be such a means only when each partner freely responds to the legitimate sexual needs of the other. When any man or any woman has sexual desires framed by pornography, romance novels, and popular sex manuals, that does not fit what Paul is talking about in this passage. And I warn you, any of you men that would seek to impose any of you men that would seek to impose upon your wife notions that you've gleaned from pornography, God have mercy upon you. And any of you women that want to impose upon your husband what you may be more tempted to glean from romance novels, these things are to have no part in touching the sacred sanctuary of your intimate life together. So we come then to verse four. What does verse four tell us?

God-Conferred Mutual Authority Over Each Other's Bodies (Verse 4)

33:14 The wife has not power over her own body, but the husband. And likewise, also the husband has not power over his own body, but the wife. What is flowering out of the previous statement? Here's what it is.

33:32 The basis for this duty of mutual responsiveness, which is mentioned in verse three. The basis for this duty of mutual responsiveness is the fact that God has conferred mutual authority, is the fact that God has conferred mutual authority, over each other's bodies. That's it. The basis for the duty of mutual responsiveness is the fact that God has conferred mutual authority over each other's bodies.

34:00 Look at the text. The wife does not have power over her own body, but the husband. And likewise also, the husband has not power over his own body, but the wife. You see that element of equality?

34:13 Now the key word, of course, is power over. And this verb means to have and to exercise a right or power of rule. Look at the only other two uses in the New Testament. One in chapter 6 and verse 12.

34:33 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are expedient. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought, here's the verb, I will not be brought under the power, under the rule, under the dominion of any. Same verb. It's used back in Luke 22 and verse 25.

34:51 Luke 22 and verse 25. The Lord is going to give His disciples a lesson in the spirit of humility that is to mark them. Verse 24, there arose a contention among them which of them was accounted to be the greatest. And He said unto them, the kings of the Gentiles have lordship over them, and they that have authority over them are called benefactors.

35:19 There's our verb. So you see, when Paul writes that the basis for this duty of mutual responsiveness is the fact that God, God has conferred mutual authority over each other's bodies, he chooses a very, very vigorous word.

35:41 He says that there is a God-conferred authority over the body, body of the husband, and that authority is in the hands of the wife, and vice versa. And notice how even-handed Paul is. In verse 3, he says, let the husband render to the wife her due, and then he says wife to the husband. Now he takes the husband first.

36:02 The wife has not power over her body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband has not power over his body, but the wife. Now obviously, Paul is not saying that a husband has absolute authority over his wife's body. Or that the wife has absolute authority over her husband's body.

36:23 We already studied last week, there's only one who has that absolute authority over the body. The one who bought it and created it. Remember, verse 19, don't you know your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you which you have from God? You are not your own.

36:38 You were bought with a price. As in Ephesians 5, the headship of the husband is not absolute. Christ is head of the church. The wife is the wife.

36:48 She is united to Christ as a member of His church. The husband's authority over her does not rival, let alone supersede, Christ's headship. It is subsumed under Christ's headship. And if the husband ever seeks to exercise his headship in a way that makes the wife disobey Christ, she has to say, I must obey Christ rather than you.

37:09 Now likewise with this authority over the body. And notice how crass and earthly it is. You who are platonic, you who are platonic romanticists are going to find this passage very, very unsuitable to your taste. There is a crass earthiness that just doesn't sit well with abstract romantics.

37:30 But that's not where you and I live. We live in the kind of world that Paul is writing to these Corinthians. That they lived in. And here's what he says.

37:39 The wife is not possessing power over her own body, but the husband. Not absolute power, but a delegated power. And in the context, it is a power rightly to expect his due. And vice versa.

37:56 It is a delegated power that she has a right to expect her due from her husband.

38:06 And though it is not absolute authority, it is a real bona fide authority. And it is constant. A present indicative is used. Last week, in trying to underscore by way of illustration what it meant for us to think in terms of our bodies being Christ's blood-bought possession, I used the imagery of having the sign of the cross branded upon all of our physical members.

38:37 I'd like to build on that to underscore what this passage is saying. For everyone who's married, when you enter the marriage covenant under the sign of the cross on every member of your body, there is in smaller letters the initials of your husband or wife. And as surely as being branded with the cross is the mark of Christ's ownership of you, so those smaller case letters of husband or wife is the brand of divinely conferred authority over your body. If this passage isn't teaching that, I've got to fold up my Bible and say, I'm going to find another way to serve Christ rather than try to expound the Scriptures.

39:22 The wife does not have power over her own body but the husband. And likewise, the husband has not power over his own body but the wife. Now that brings us to verse number five.

Withholding Sexual Relations as Thievery, with Biblical Exceptions (Verse 5)

39:38 And in many ways, this is the crunch for some. What does it say? Defraud not. That's a nice old word.

39:47 When's the last time you ever used that word in ordinary conversation? I was defrauded. You'd say, hey, somebody robbed me. Somebody cheated me.

39:56 But you wouldn't say, they defrauded me. Defraud not one another except by consent for a season that you may give yourselves unto prayer, more accurately rendered unto the prayer, and may be together again that Satan tempt you not because of your incontinency. What does verse five say? This is what it's saying.

40:20 It says, in light of this mutually conferred authority over each other, verse four, in light of this mutually conferred authority over each other's bodies, the unnecessary or unilateral withholding of sexual relations is a form of thievery. That's what the text is saying. In light of this mutually conferred authority over each other's bodies, The unnecessary or unilateral withholding of sexual relations is a form of thievery. Obviously, the key word is defraud.

41:04 Defraud not one another. And it means to take away or withhold property that belongs to another and to do so by deception, to cheat another. Again, it was used in chapter 6 two times. Look at verse 7.

41:23 These people were going into law before pagan judges about rights and possessions. He says, no, but it is altogether a defect in you that you have lawsuits one with another. Why not rather take wrong? Why not rather be defrauded?

41:40 If your brother has cheated you out of some bucks, rather than bring the name of Christ into a pagan law court, leave the case with God. Then walk away. But then he says, verse 8, No, but you yourselves do wrong and defraud. You keep back that which belongs to another.

42:00 You do it by duplicity and deception and that, your brethren. That's the very word that he uses here. Defraud not one another. The other place it's used is in James chapter 5, where he's castigating James's, these wealthy landowners and employers.

42:17 And he says, The wages. The wages are being kept back from the laborers by you in fraud. That's the word that's used. Again, commercial concept.

42:27 That's why I've said, In the light of this mutually conferred authority over each other's bodies, unnecessary or unilateral withholding of sexual relations is a form of thievery. That's not overstating the intention of the Spirit of God using this word, defraud. Now, you notice my qualifying words, unnecessary or unilateral withholding? Under unnecessary, I'm assuming there are times when one does not need to discuss that there is a necessity for the withholding of sexual relations.

43:10 I need not go into those details. You know them well as married couples. But I've used the word unilateral. You notice what it says?

43:20 Do not withhold yourselves from one another except it be by consent. And that word consent is the word from which we get our English word symphony. There's got to be a symphony of mind. That assumes the husband and wife talk about these things.

43:40 She doesn't pull the headache routine. He doesn't pull the I'm-too-tired-and-distracted-from-work routine. There is open-faced, honest discussion seeking to come to mutual, harmonious consent. That's the exception.

44:00 Hence, I've asserted that this verse teaches in the light of the mutually conferred authority over each other's bodies, the unnecessary or unilateral withholding of sexual relations is a form of thievery. Thievery. If there is any withholding for other than obvious reasons of health, such as advanced pregnancy, time of the month, postpartum, physical condition, what are the conditions according to the Word of God? Look at the text, and there are five of them.

44:37 God is so good to give us this practical instruction. First one we've already indicated, mutual agreement, except it be by consent. No unilateral withholding. Secondly, for a relatively brief time.

44:53 Consent for a season. For a season. Mutual agreement, relatively brief time. Thirdly, for purposes of concentrated engagement in higher spiritual priorities.

45:13 In order that he defines what ought to be the situation that precipitates this season, this brief period in which there is this symphony of agreement to withhold sexual favors from one another, that you may give yourselves unto prayer. Some render it that you may find leisure for prayer. The sense of the word is that the pressures of life are such that to husband enough time to give oneself to a concentrated season of V prayer. It doesn't seem to be referring to generic prayers.

45:51 Our ordinary devotion. devotions, but there is something in the life and experience that demands the prayer, a time of prayer, giving oneself to prayer. The husband or wife talks this through with his or her partner, and there is an agreement that in the light of this pressing issue that demands intense, concentrated spiritual priorities, there is an agreement that for a season they will withhold sexual intimacy. Number four, it is to be done looking forward to the resumption of normal relations.

46:27 Look at the text. Defraud not one another, except it be by consent, for a season, that you may give yourself unto prayer, and may be together again. And in the context, that doesn't mean sitting down, holding hands, and looking at the moon. Be together again.

46:46 What's that mean in the context? It's very down-to-earth, crass, yes. Earth. Yes, but not unclean, not unholy.

46:56 It is realism that you and I need to take seriously. To step outside the boundaries of these guidelines is to be disobedient to Christ, who is speaking through his inspired apostle. There is to be a looking forward to the resumption of normal relations, and look at the fifth thing he sets before us in this exception part, that Satan tempt you not because...

47:22 of your incontinency. Why are you married? Well, one of the reasons is to avoid sexual uncleanness. It's better to marry than to burn with uncontrollable passion that will take you into the wastelands of pornea, sexual uncleanness.

47:42 Now, he says, if you mark out an inordinate length of time, what are you doing? You're cooperating with the devil to tempt. You're cooperating with the devil to tempt you to sexual sin. That's what he's saying.

47:55 In order that Satan tempt you not. When will he come to tempt? When there has not been the normal, natural fulfillment of God-given sexual desires that are constantly on the verge with many of stepping over the boundaries because of the devil and because of remaining sin in an ungodly world. He said the devil is just waiting for this hyper-spiritual couple who said, well, we'll forego relations.

48:22 We'll forego relations for X number of months because we're going to prove that we're spirits. He said the devil's just waiting, laughing up his sleeve, and he's going to come and he's going to nail you.

48:34 And every woman and every man needs to have this biblical realism woven into the fabric of their thinking about this aspect of their lives. So what does verse 5 teach us? Defraud not one another, except it be by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves unto prayer. That you may be together again, that Satan tempt you not because of your incontinency.

Concession vs. Commandment and the Gift of Celibacy (Verses 6-7)

49:01 In the light of this mutually conferred authority over each other's bodies, the unnecessary or unilateral withholding of sexual relations is a form of thievery. Now verse 6.

49:16 But this I say by way of concession, not of commandment. This I say not by way. I say by way of concession, not of commandment. My understanding is this.

49:32 Paul is saying in light of all the clear imperatives, the exception of verse 5 is a matter of sanctified accommodation and not a divine directive. In the light of all the clear imperatives, all the way down through we've had imperatives, Paul says the exception of verse 5 is a matter of sanctified accommodation. A key to any understanding of this verse is the word this. But this I say.

50:05 Toot toot. This I say. And the commentators differ. What is Paul referring to when he says this I say?

50:12 Is it what he's just said in verse 5? Or is it what he said up in verses 3 and 4? Or is it the whole? What is it?

50:18 Well my judgment is that he's referring to the exception because the other things are commandments. But what is it? The exception? The other things?

50:25 But what is it? But what is it? The exception? The exception?

50:25 The exception? He says, do not withhold one another, except it be by consent. He is giving accommodating apostolic counsel. Here's the exception to the general rule, but even that is not a command.

50:40 So if you are not coming upon mutually agreed times to withhold one another, you're not sinning against some divine commandment. That's my understanding of verse 6. This I say, by way of concession, not of commandment. Verse 7, yet I would that all men were even as I myself, howbeit each one has his own gift from God, one after this manner and another after that.

51:04 Very simply, while Paul wishes for all the freedom to serve God without distractions as a single man or woman, he recognizes the sovereignty of God in giving or withholding the gift of celibacy. It was right for Paul to say, I wish that all men were as myself. The same way I could say of anyone, I wish all men had the privilege of preaching the Word of God and being involved in the care and the oversight of God's people. I wish that all men could be preachers.

51:37 Is it wrong for me to say that? Of course not. If you thoroughly enjoy and are satisfied with your calling in life, there's a sense in which you'd like all to share in it. Paul knew the benefits of being a single man.

51:49 Whether he was ever married is debated. But he certainly was a single man. He says in 1 Corinthians 9, Do not weep. Barnabas and I have a right to lead about a wife as others.

51:58 We have not used this right. Proving that Paul was not a eunuch. He had normal, wholesome, heterosexual desires, but he had a special gift of singleness so that though he may have felt some heat from his normal sexual passions, they did not become a burning, as John Calvin makes that distinction between feeling heat and burning. And Paul would not have had a right to lead about a wife had he been a eunuch.

52:24 It is not right. But any man who is sexually impotent to enter marriage under the guise that he's going to meet the sexual needs of a wife. So when Paul says, Do not we have a right to lead about a wife? He's acknowledging that he was a normal, heterosexual man with normal, wholesome sexual capacities and desires.

52:42 But he had a gift from God. And he said, Now, I wish all men were as myself, free from the encumbrances of a wife and family to serve Christ. But my wish is not the measure of what God does. Every man has his own gift from God, one after this manner, one after another.

Application 1: The Sin of Presumption and Tempting God in Singleness

53:01 Well then, I've tried to walk through those seven verses with you. What do we say by way of concluding observation and application?

53:11 As someone said, Pastor Martin, this would always get you in trouble. It's the applications. The exposition normally doesn't get you in trouble. It's the applications.

53:20 Well, if it gets me in trouble, so be it, because the Bible has been given to us to be applied. It is profitable not only for teaching, but for reproof, correction, and training in righteousness. I lay before you these three observations and applications. First of all, this passage exposes the sin of presumption and tempting God in some single men and women.

53:49 And please listen carefully to what I've said. This passage exposes the sin of presumption and tempting God in some single men and women.

54:03 As we read in verse 9, if they have not continency, let them marry. It's an imperative, for it is better to marry than to burn.

54:15 And there are some of you who are burning. And the reason you are not married is not that there have been definable, clear, providential hindrances that have shut you up to singleness. For some of you, it's because you have not been aggressive in obeying the biblical injunction. You've been too passive.

54:39 You are part of a generation of men that in great measure have been partially castrated in terms of normal, wholesome, male aggressiveness. And I know that's a blunt term, but if the shoe fits, choose to change the imagery, please put it on. The text is clear. It's good for a man.

55:00 It's good for a man not to touch a woman. In your state of singleness, no one I trust in this place looks down their nose at any single man or woman of marriageable age.

55:11 It is good. That's a good state. But because of various forms of sexual uncleanness, imperative, each man is to have his own wife. Each woman is to have her own husband.

55:25 But you say, Pastor, in our culture and in my understanding of the basic structure of things, biblically, it's not my liberty as a woman to go chasing a man. I know that you don't have to be aggressive to be aggressive.

55:42 There are ways to be subtly aggressive and still maintain your reputation as a modest, godly, Christian woman. I do inject that little bit of humor, but I'm speaking primarily to the men. For some of you, and this may be more for some of you women, you're just plain too picky. You're to marry only in the Lord.

56:03 That's why my initial statement was a godly marriage. And in this very passage, Paul says she is free to marry only in the Lord.

56:13 But then the rest of the list that some of you had, the Lord has very little to do with that list. In the Lord, but six feet tall. Oh yeah? Where do you find that in your Bible?

56:24 In the Lord, and at least a ten inch drop between his chest and his waist. Where do you find that in the Bible? In the Lord, but interested in this, where do you find that in the Bible? Some of you are just plain too picky.

56:40 And your singleness may be, and I have no individual in mind. I speak before God's face. But I hear that some of you are just plain too picky, men and women. And some of you are just plain too slow.

56:55 And apparently they were slow back in the 1600s because when they drew up the Westminster Standards, the Confession of Faith and the larger and shorter catechism, under the Seventh Commandment, what are the ways that we break the Seventh Commandment? One of them listed is undue delay in marriage. People were just moping around and weren't getting with it. Undue delay in marriage.

Application 2: The Sin of Being an Occasion of Sin in Marriage

57:19 Surely this passage ought to be a spur to some of you. It ought to be like spurs in your side to say, Lord, I've not really been honest with the plain sense of the passage. Help me to be more honest with it. Secondly, this passage exposes the sin of being an occasion of sin in the case of some of you married men and women.

57:45 This passage exposes your sin of being an occasion of sin to your husband or to your wife. Turn please to Luke 17. This is the passage I have in mind in making this application.

58:03 And He, Jesus, said to His disciples, it is impossible but that occasions of stumbling should come. The human heart being what it is, the world being what it is, the devil being who he is, Jesus says it's impossible but that people are going to find occasions to fall, to stumble into sin. That's the realism of our Lord. But look at the next part of the text.

58:28 But woe unto him through whom they come. That is, through whom the occasions of sin come. It were well for him if a millstone were hanged, about his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, then that he should cause one of these little ones to stumble. The little ones are those who believe in him.

58:50 His little ones. His precious ones. Now do you see the relevance of this passage in Corinthians? Let the wife render to the husband his due.

59:02 Let the husband render to the wife her due. And what introduced all of this? Oh, it's good for a man not to touch a woman, but...

59:11 Because of the various pressures towards and temptations in the direction of sexual impurity, let each man have his own wife. Each woman have her own husband. And within the commitment of that marital covenant, let there be this perspective regulating their sexual desires and their sexual relationship. To withhold yourself from your partner in an unnecessary or unilateral way is to expose him or her to adultery.

59:48 If not to open adultery, mental adultery. If not to adultery, to forms of perversion. Prudish women who do not give their husbands their due. Do you want to know what his due is?

60:04 Don't go to the extreme of prudery or the extreme of perversion, but read through the Song of Solomon together. Where sight and sound and smell and taste and atmosphere all enter in to the holy sexual union of a man and his wife. Read Proverbs 5, 8 to 14, where the writer speaks of her love causing you to go astray, causing you to be intoxicated. Some of you, I know, there was abuse.

60:44 There was a background of uncleanness and perversion and it's so hard for you to think that this can now be something that is clean and holy and pure before God. But I beg you, pray in the Song of Solomon. Pray in Genesis 1 and 2. Think of Adam and Eve in their innocence before God.

61:06 The creation account ending as we saw several weeks ago with the description of Adam and Eve not on their knees praying, but in nakedness in the marital embrace. And God saw everything that He made and it was very good. And when your heart can resonate with God's, then God has flushed away all of that negativism born of the scars that were imposed upon you. Perhaps some of you no choice of your own.

61:36 Others because of your own willfulness. But one sin never makes right another sin. Don't be guilty. Of being the occasion of sin to your husband or wife because you're not fulfilling the clear directive of 1 Corinthians 7.

61:52 You say, but I'm not made that way. No, you may not be made that way when you read, be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another. But you ask God the Holy Spirit to work in you the spirit of forgiveness. You can't exempt yourself because you're just not naturally forgiving.

62:09 It has nothing to do with what you are naturally. It has to do with what you can become graciously. And you, you can become the instrument in God's hands to keep your husband or wife from unnecessary temptation to sexual impurity. God's given you that privilege.

Application 3: Marriage Must Not Be Solely Based on Sexual Desire

62:27 No one else. No one else. No one else. Third and final application is this.

62:35 This passage must never, underscored in red, this passage must never form the sole basis for marital commitment. This passage, this passage must never form the sole basis for marital commitment. Over the years of pastoral work, I've counseled with men who say, well, I want a wife. What do you want a wife?

62:57 Well, I'm just tired of burning with sexual desire. They're self-centered. They're sloppy. They're narrow in their interest.

63:05 There isn't a woman on the face of the earth that I have enough ill will to wish them on such people. But they go around saying, you know, if you're burning, get a wife. If you're burning, get a wife. Ah, but the same apostle had some more things to say.

63:17 He said, you're thinking about being a husband? Then make sure you're ready to take on a role that mirrors Christ and His self-giving love to His church. When you're ready to take 1 Corinthians 7 and bring it into the full blazing light of Ephesians 5 and say, I am prepared to lay down my life for this woman in self-giving, sacrificial, tender, Christ-like love, then you're ready to talk about a marriage covenant, not just because you're burning,

63:49 don't anyone ever say, oh, yeah, I'm going to pass them on and preach that, that, or... Take the whole thing.

63:54 No good if detached from application number 3. And there are a lot of witnesses who will rise up and point a finger at you and say you should know better than that. Don't ever take this passage to form the sole basis for marital commitment. When you're ready for Ephesians chapter 5, then you talk about marriage.

64:14 When you're ready, look at the latter part of this chapter. Paul is not condemning this fact. He says this is the way it is if a husband takes his role seriously. He says in verse 33, he that is married is careful for the things of the world how he may please his wife.

64:31 Is he condemning that? No. He's saying if he's worth his name as a Christian husband, he's going to be careful how to please his wife. And you women better have some good indication that he knows a little bit about that before he throws a ring on your finger and says I do it in front of a church building.

64:48 Because then it's too late. If he's a self-centered, incentive, self-serving man, saying I do isn't going to change him. So I say to you men who may experience a good measure of burning and you say this passage does speak to me. Remember, no good if detached from Ephesians 5.

65:11 Detached from the latter part of this chapter when it comes to seriously reflecting upon seeking the consent of a woman to give herself to you in marriage and vice versa. For you women, don't detach Ephesians 5 from 1 Corinthians 7. If men are tempted to detach 1 Corinthians 7 from Ephesians 5, the temptation of most women is to detach Ephesians 5 from 1 Corinthians 7. Oh, the idea that I would be loved as Christ loves the church.

65:41 I mean, that's romanticism of the highest form. Are you ready to have his initials branded on your hand and on your primary and sexual? Organs and regard yourself as this man having authority over you? Well, then don't you talk about marriage, my dear sister.

66:02 That's part of the whole package. Part of the whole package.

Concluding Challenge and Call to Unbelievers

66:08 Now, we did not have the privilege of premarital counseling with all of you. And I would be very surprised if there are not some of you that if you were to go home tonight and this is my closing challenge to every married couple. It's been a while since you've read through this passage together and talked honestly before God as honestly as you would if the Lord Himself summoned you into His presence. Now, we're going to discuss this passage.

66:34 And he looks the man in the eye and says, Are you regarding yourself as... And then the Lord gives you back His own words.

66:42 Are you rendering to your wife her due? Then he looks at you and he says, Are you living within this framework? Some of you have never done that. You don't even discuss these things.

66:55 Some of you have a pattern of turn out the lights and get it over with. That mentality is entirely anti-biblical. As much as the wretched perversion and hedonism that has glutted our society and in great measure has even inundated the Christian world. So the Christian bookshops have stuff that would be regarded as pornography twenty-five years ago.

67:23 Only this. Only this. Only this. Only this.

67:25 Only this. Only this. Only God can keep us from prudery and from perversion. But He can.

67:30 And as we're determined to walk in the light of His Word, God will give us grace to do that. My final word to you who are not Christians. You may have sat here tonight and said, Man, oh man, if being a Christian means that I'm going to let God come in and dictate the parameters and the dynamics of my most intimate relationships and tell me what is and what is not inbounds and what is out of bounds in the bedroom. Forget it.

68:02 I wouldn't be surprised if that's your attitude. That just proves Romans 8-7. The carnal mind is enmity against God. It is not subject to the law of God and neither indeed can it be.

68:13 My friend, preaching on a passage like this, the entrance of God's words exposes you again for what you are. You're a rebel against God. And your need is to have a heart change that only God can effect. And to have the consequences of all your acts of rebellion cleansed and washed away in the blood of Jesus Christ.

68:35 And He stands ready to save even you. Well, may God be pleased to take His Word, write it upon all of our hearts, and enable us by His grace in the midst of a society so much like the Greco-Roman world that we may in the language of Philippians chapter 2 shine the light of the Lord. Amen. Shine as lights in the midst of this crooked and perverse generation.

69:02 Let's pray.

69:07 Our Father, we are so thankful that You have given us Your Holy Word. Thank You for this portion of Your Word. We can even bless You that You allowed society to sink so low in that first century that there would be need for the Apostle to write these words that would have such relevance to us and to the world. We thank You that we can speak of these things without shame, without in any way staining our consciences, and how we pray that You would take Your Word and apply it in areas that we would never think of applying it, that each of us may stand beneath Your Word and seek by Your grace to live in its light. O Lord, help us. Help us as we pray. Help us as individuals.

70:02 Help us, those who are singles. Help those of us who are married. O Lord, by Your grace, may we reflect a true and wholehearted embrace of all that Your Word reveals of our privileges and responsibilities before You. And for the grace, we look out of ourselves to You, the living God, and to Your dear Son and to the power of the Spirit.

70:28 Help us then, our Father, we plead in Jesus' name. Amen.