Major Sins of the Tongue: Gossip/Talebearing

Introduction: James 3 and the Fifth Message

0:02 The following sermon was delivered on Sunday morning, December 15th, 2002, at Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey. I would ask that you turn with me to the epistle of James, the epistle of James, and follow as I read the first twelve verses of chapter three.

0:39 James chapter three at verse one. Be not many of you teachers, my brethren, knowing that we shall receive heavier judgment. For in many things we all stumble. If any stumbles not in word, the same is a perfect man able to bridle the whole body also.

1:07 Now if we put the horse's bridles into their mouths that they may obey us, we turn about their whims. We turn about their whole body also. Behold, the ships also, though they are so great and driven by rough winds, are yet turned about by a very small rudder, wherever the impulse of the steersman wills. So the tongue also is a little member, and boasts great things.

1:38 Behold, how great a forest is kindled by how strong, by how small a match. And the tongue is a fire. The world of iniquity among our members is the tongue, which defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the wheel of nature, and is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beasts and birds, of creeping things and things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed by mankind.

2:13 But the tongue can no man tame. It is a restless evil. It is full of deadly poison. Therewith bless me the Lord and Father.

2:25 And therewith we curse men who are made after the likeness of God. Out of the same mouth comes forth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Does the fountain send forth forth from the same openings sweet water and bitter?

2:50 Can a fig tree, my brethren, yield olives, or a vine, figs? Neither can salt water yield sweet. Now once again let us pray that God will undertake for us in the study of His Word. Once again, our Father, we acknowledge that apart from the present ministry of the Holy Spirit, we acknowledge that apart from the present ministry of the Holy Spirit, Our efforts both to preach and teach and to receive, to profit your word are futile.

3:28 We remember the words of our Lord Jesus who said, Apart from me you can do nothing. Help us to truly believe that and in the faith of that to come to you even in this moment with a deep sense of that desperation of faith that acknowledges we need you Lord, we must have your help and we pray that it shall be given to us according to your promise as we seek it through Christ our Lord. Amen. Now it is not very flattering or supportive of a positive self-image for us to be told that we possess a member of our bodies which is nothing less than a veritable word a world of iniquity a member which is as lethal as an uncontrolled fire and its fiery lethality is ignited by hell itself. It is even less flattering to be told that it's easier to tame a ravenous lion a free-spirited eagle or a venomous snake than to tame this little member of our bodies that is a member of our bodies that is a member of our bodies. It is nestled between the upper and lower jaw.

4:59 However, the biblical testimony asserts these very facts. Therefore, it's important for us to think biblically on this matter of the use of our tongues. And we come this morning to our fifth message in this vital theme the use of our tongues. In the first message I laid before you five categories of biblical truth which demonstrate the crucial importance of this subject.

5:31 Considering the use of our tongues for a few messages is not fiddling while Rome burns. It may be the means to keep us from burning forever in hell itself. For if any man seems to be religious and bridles not his own tongue but deceives himself this religion, his religion is vain. It is a nothing.

6:00 And it will never deliver him from the just judgment of Almighty God. In the next three messages I sought to identify three of the major sins of the tongue which we must seek to avoid and mortify by the grace and power of God. The sin of lying the sin of corrupt speech and the sin of abusive speech. Now this morning we focus our attention on one more species or distinct category of the sins of the tongue identified and clearly condemned by the scriptures namely the sin of gossipy intrusive meddlesome tail-bearing speech. And I've used all of those words because each has a different nuance but together they capture the witness of the holy scriptures concerning this basic category of the sin of the tongue. We're going to examine the sin of gossipy intrusive meddlesome tail-bearing speech. And in thinking our way through this issue we shall do so under four headings.

Heading 1 - The Sin Biblically Identified

7:17 Heading number one first the sin biblically identified. The sin biblically identified. When I describe this sin of the tongue with such words as gossipy intrusive meddlesome tail-bearing speech what biblical data have mandated such words? Well I want you to consider with me three key passages which identify this specific sin.

7:51 And the first is found in 2 Thessalonians and chapter 3. 2 Thessalonians and chapter 3.

8:03 As I almost invariably do I'll say a word about the context. One of the dangers of topical preaching in which proof texts are brought forward is that often proof texts are brought forward with no relationship to context and therefore are twisted out of their God intended meaning. And so I say just a word about the context. Paul has given a command in verse 6 of chapter 3.

8:31 Now we command you brethren in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ that you withdraw yourselves from every brother that walks disorderly and not after the tradition which they received of us. Here is a clear apostolic command to the church of the Thessalonians to exercise a form of church discipline upon brothers who are walking in the church. upon brothers who are walking in the church. He is walking in a manner described as disorderly.

8:59 A manner contrary to the apostolic tradition delivered to the Thessalonians. And then he focuses upon the specific manifestation of this disorderliness in the following verses. And that specific manifestation of disorderliness was a willful refusal to work. A willful refusal to engage in meaningful, gainful, God-honoring employment.

9:32 There is an indication that some of it may have been connected to a pseudo-spiritual notion of the best way to prepare for the Lord's return is not to work but to look up into the sky and then to go about from house to house begging from your brethren. But whether that's so or not it is clear that refusal to work is the specific aspect of disorderliness that Paul identifies in this passage. He clearly states in 10b if any will not work neither let him eat. Then he goes on to identify a sin that is a handmaiden to this pattern of laziness in verse 11. For we hear of some that walk among you disbelieving disorderly that work not at all but are busybodies. They do not work but they are busybodies. And it is this word busybodies that identifies an aspect of this kind of sinful speech that I have called gossipy intrusive meddlesome tale-bearing speech.

10:53 Now from that brief word of the gospel context we now seek to identify the meaning of this word. Now in the original there is a clear play on words. While they do not work they walk about among the people of God talking about things that are none of their business. Hendrickson beautifully captures in English the sense of this play on words and he translates it this way.

11:17 They are not busy workers but they are busybodies. We might go on to say by that play on words he is indicating that though they do not busy themselves with their hands in gainful employment they busy themselves with their tongues in destructive speech. And the only use of this verb in the New Testament is here. But it is used enough in secular literature of the first century Greco-Roman world that we can ascertain with some accuracy that that is the significance of this word.

11:54 John Gill the old Baptist commentator gives a very helpful description of the meaning of this word and the significance of the activity condemned by the apostle and I quote but they are busybodies though they work not at all at their own business they are very busy in other men's matters and have the affairs of kingdoms and cities and towns and neighborhoods and churches and families upon their hands which they thrust themselves into and use and intermeddle with though they have no business at all with them. They wander from house to house and curiously inquire into personal and family affairs are tattlers full of prate and talk and like the Athenians spend all their time in telling or hearing new things and they also speak things which they should not. They carry tales from one to another and privately whisper things to the disadvantage of their fellow creatures and their fellow people. and fellow Christians and backbite and slander them. These are the pests of nations and neighborhoods the plague of churches and the scandal of human nature.

13:07 End quote. The old hyper-Calvinist John Gill has nailed the issue very clearly. This is what Paul is condemning. He says that the handmaiden of the sin of their willful refusal to work is that they are busybodies and he identifies this sin as meddlesome intrusive speech speech in which they intrude themselves into the affairs of others that are none of their business.

13:41 Then there is a second passage that clearly identifies this category of sin. It is 1st Timothy chapter 5 and verse 13. 1st Timothy chapter 5 and verse 13. Remember what I am seeking to do is to give a biblical identification of the sin.

14:01 The second passage is 1st Timothy 5 and verse 13. We read and with all they learn to be idle going about from house to house and not only idle but tattlers also and busybodies speaking things which they ought not. Now again a brief word about the context. As we recently saw in our consecutive reading through 1st Timothy here in this chapter Paul is dealing with the church's care for its widows and in the opening verses he gives general directions for the care of all widows.

14:39 Then in verse 9 he focuses upon something that was not the care of all widows in general but a specific class within the widows who were put on some kind of a role and there is a lot of debate as to what this was but apparently those widows who were put on the role were given full subsidy were given some kind of specific responsibilities in the way of service within the church and now with respect to that particular category of the widows he gives directions they are to be at least 60 years of age they are to have proven Christian character and then he tells why he does not encourage younger widows to be placed on that role and in the course of giving his rationale for refusing verse 11 refusing the younger widows that is refusing them to be put on this special role of this special category of special widows with special standards and requirements he gives in the midst of his rationale for refusing these younger widows this is what happens Paul says and with all they learn to be idle they learn to be idle they school themselves in a wretched

16:06 efficiency they become efficient in idleness but in their idleness they learn to go about from house to house and not only idle but now notice the three things that have to do with the tongue two nouns and then a present participle which probably summarizes because they are tattlers and busybodies the nouns the participle they are continually speaking things which they ought not as tattlers and busybodies here's what they do they speak things they ought not to speak they speak things that are not necessary well let's spend a moment on what these words mean but they are tattlers they are gossips this is the way some render this particular word again it is only found here in the New Testament as a noun it is found one other place as a verb in 3rd John 10 John writes about diatrophies this man who loves to have preeminence is casting people out of the church and then John says and he prates about us with evil words in other words this man diatrophies runs off at the mouth speaking nonsense in the way of accusations concerning the apostle John he brings unfounded charges I call this the tabloid tongue

17:34 tattlers tattlers have a tabloid tongue you know what the tabloid tongue is occasionally I go to the CBS that's right up at the end of our street to pick up my Monday newspapers as you've heard me say a number of times I get a newspaper on Monday two newspapers New York Times and the Star Ledger and there on the bottom couple of rows there in the newspaper section but I've noticed and I don't look at them I don't peruse them I want nothing to do with them but above them are at least ten or twelve tabloids with their big letters spewing out the latest garbage about some movie star who's chasing around with someone other than his wife some sordid thing this sick sinkhole of the human soul that would cause such papers to proliferate they're not out there being subsidized somebody's making money spewing out that gossip and Paul says that these women have a tabloid tongue they engage in gossip and then he says they are busybodies and this is the noun form of the verb in 2nd Thessalonians in 2nd Thessalonians Paul says they engage in this act of being busybodies here he uses the noun

19:04 they meddle in affairs that are none of their legitimate business they traffic in things that are none of their God-given duty so they are gossips they have a tabloid tongue they are busybodies meddling in affairs that are none of their business and in so doing they are continually a present participle continually speaking things that they ought not they are speaking things that are better left unspoken they are violating Leviticus 19.16 thou shalt not go up and down the land as a tail-bearer you see a tail-bearer is a bearer of a tail it may well be true often it is unfounded but may be true but often the sin that is identified is telling the teller it's not necessary and usually with this activity are the words have you heard that have you heard this about passing on a tail where there is no biblical duty to convey that tail no warrant of necessity no warrant of edification no warrant of admonition and exhortation they become a walking tabloid they go up and down the land here the passage says

20:34 that these go about from house to house they are a walking tabloid have you heard have you heard this have you heard that what have you heard about this this is the realism of new testament sins or sins that cropped up in new testament churches in that very church at Ephesus founded by the apostle Paul recipient of that marvelous letter that lays out the glorious salvation that is ours in Christ that letter that calls us to put off the old man and put on the new that letter that calls us to a radically alternative lifestyle from the world no longer to walk as the Gentiles walk in that setting Paul had to say here are women that learn this unholy art of going about from house to house as tattlers or gossips busybodies and speaking things that they ought not here Patrick Fairbairn in his commentary has a very helpful little summary of these three things the apostle justly regarded it as a great evil and proof of a frivolous unsanctified worldly spirit that young widows should fall into idle gossip and habits and unwise in the church to place them in circumstances

22:02 which would tempt them into such ways the latter expression in the verse merely point to the different the later expressions merely point to the different forms which the evil in the case supposed naturally assumes they babble out what comes into their minds loose talkers that's the first noun the second noun busybodies busybodies intermeddling with affairs which do not properly concern them and then the participial phrase speaking things that they ought not things that were not befitting or as it may be explained caring about reports and saying from one family to another and so giving rise to serious misunderstandings jealousy and strife so that's the second passage that identifies the sin that I have tried to identify under this collation of terms gossipy meddlesome intrusive tale bearing speech and now we come to the third passage first Peter chapter four we're just letting the Bible speak its witness to the fact that this kind of speech is clearly identified and condemned as sinful in the word of God first Peter now chapter four and verse fifteen

23:31 for let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler in other men's matters let none of you suffer as a meddler in other men's matters again a word about the context Peter has warned starting in verse twelve of this chapter that though they have already been suffering for the sake of Christ more suffering is to come a fiery trial is already among them and it will intensify in the days to come but now he says in the light of that you need to understand if you are reproached for the sake of Christ you are blessed the spirit of glory and of God rest upon you it is no shameful thing to suffer for Jesus it's coming it's upon you more is coming however nerve yourself with this blessed reality as you are partaker of Christ's sufferings you are going to be partaker of His glory let every degree of intense temperature in the heat of opposition remind you of the glory that is to come and in pledge of the glory to come the spirit of glory and of God rest upon you now giving you grace to bear this with balance

24:59 and with faith and with grace but then he says though it is right and noble to suffer for Christ's sake and for righteousness sake don't let any of you suffer for the opposite don't suffer for the sake of sin let none of you suffer as a murderer or as a thief or as an evil doer and then placed in this list as a he puts as a meddler in other men's matters now here we again have a word used only here in the New Testament and very few times in secular Greek literature there are times when you have a word that is called a hapax lagomenon in the New Testament used only once but you have a number of usage of it in secular Greek literature of that period and so you're able to ascertain with some degree of confidence what was in the mind of the author but not so with this word some suggest that Peter coined it that under the guidance of the spirit he may have invented this word I've invented some words when certain things weren't able to be expressed I've taken some words and made my own words out of them well some suggest Peter may have done this but it's a compound word made up of two words alatrios which is which means that which belongs to another

26:28 and episkopos to look over and so when you put the two together it's looking over the things of another and hence the translations a meddler in other men's matters and I have found the commentary of Hebert one of the more recent commentaries on the book of first Peter very helpful where he states this the term may be understood to mean the unfaithful guardian of goods committed to him that's how some understand it Peter arranged his terms in a descending order of guilt the term may designate an activity that was a definite social nuisance one that irritated aroused strong displeasure and prompted open hostility if that's correct then the term may well refer to an unwarranted intrusion into the affairs of others and that's in the fourth century Epiphanius used the exceedingly rare term in the sense of interfering with someone else's business our English versions use a number of terms to present that basic concept a troublesome meddler the new American standard one prying into other men's affairs Rotherham interfering in matters which do not concern Christians 20th century translation a busy body and other men's matters King James

27:58 Virgin such a general meaning seems most probable in the context so most probably Peter is identifying with this word that he may well have coined the sin of gossipy intrusive meddlesome speech becoming someone who is looking over and inspecting and talking about the affairs of another in which he has no God given stewardship to be concerned things over which there's a big sign M-Y-O-B you know what that means mind your own business this person goes around with a big paint can and a six inch brush continually slopping his paint over M-Y-O-B and making things his business that are none of his business this is how this sin is identified unless someone think well this is just a New Testament sin let me just quote quickly several verses in the Old Testament that identify this same sin I've already quoted Leviticus 1916 you shall not go up and down the land as a tail bearer you shall not be the walking tabloid have you heard this have you heard this have you heard that have you heard this do you know that's being a walking tabloid God calls it sin it's being a tail bearer

29:28 listen to Solomon in Proverbs chapter 11 and verse 13 Proverbs 11 and verse 13 and here we're going to look at just several verses in Proverbs that addresses this sin again and again Proverbs 11 13 he that goes about as a tail bearer reveals secrets but he that is of a faithful spirit conceals the matter the tail bearer is always saying did you know I know I'm on the inside track I'll reveal I'll be the one who lets you know I'll take you in I'll make you the special object of this tidbit of knowledge this juicy bit of information he that goes about as a tail bearer goes about you notice how that emphasis is found in all those New Testament passages they go from house to house they learn to be idle going about they walk about but they don't work about the play on words points to that person in Thessalonica that was very very active with his feet and his tongue but not with his hands and so the same emphasis is found here Proverbs 18 and verse 8 Proverbs 18 and verse 8 the words of a whisperer as dainty morsels they go down into the innermost parts this person always makes you feel special because they're going to let you in on the secret anyone standing around they're not going to be

30:56 part of the in crowd they're going to whisper make you feel very special you're the object of having this information that is only reserved for the in crowd Proverbs 20 and verse 19 Proverbs 20 and verse 19 he that goes about as a tale bearer reveals secrets therefore do not keep company with him that opens wide his lips the best thing some of you could do with this text this morning is break some friendships the best thing the bond of those friendships is tale bearing and if you value your soul you'll be prepared to break them Proverbs 26 and verse 20 our last text in Proverbs 26 and verse 20 for lack of wood the fire goes out and where there's no whisperer contention ceases here's the whisperer throwing fuel on the fire of agitation with his special bits of information with his insight with his concerns in matters that are none of his business well these are the key passages that identify the sin now secondly having considered the sin biblically identified I want you to consider with me the sin concretely described the sin biblically identified yes now the sin concretely described

Heading 2 - The Sin Concretely Described

32:24 how does the sin of gossipy intrusive meddlesome tale bearing speech actually show its colors rear its ugly head leak out its venom and spread its poison well let me give you three examples alright this is not exhaustive but I don't want you to think in generalities I want you to see the thing as it works itself out and I hope in so doing you'll see yourself in the mirror here's the first way when we aggressively seek to discuss with people things in their lives which are none of our legitimate business when we aggressively seek to discuss with people things that are none of our legitimate business you see one of the manifestations of our Adamic nature is our idle curiosity regarding others this is to have tabloid ears tabloid ears are part of our Adamic nature that's why the tabloids are so popular in the fallen world people want to know the juicy tidbits that are really none of their business none of their business whatsoever what business is it for a housewife to know

33:53 who's shacking up with who out in Hollywood that's not her legitimate business not your legitimate business not my legitimate business but this sin manifests itself when we aggressively seek to discuss with people things in their lives that are none of our business we pry and probe into people's financial affairs their romantic interests their marital secrets we ask embarrassing questions how were you able to afford a new car that's none of your business but I know that's gone on among Trinity Church members someone having the nerve to come up to someone who got a new car how were you able to afford a new car that's none of your business unless you know they stole it and you need to hand them over to the police it is none of your cotton picking business how they got the new car why are you asking I'll tell you why you're asking is that Adamic desire to pry into stuff that is none of our business did you plan this pregnancy or did it just happen that's none of your business that is none of your business if it's kid number ten it's none of your business if it's kid number ten it's none of your

35:22 business what makes you think you have a right to probe into matters of personal nature now it varies with certain relationships I may have no business generically asking certain questions of you as my brothers and sisters you come for a counseling session in an area where I've got to know things to give you counsel now it is my legitimate business to ask you see but unless in the will of God I'm put in such a relationship of counselor of physician employer whatever it is that gives me a legitimate basis to probe into areas I must never forget the principle as you would that others do unto you even so do ye also unto them how do you feel when people start forcing open the closets of your life into which you've not invited them you feel violated don't you I do at times I have felt violated people have asked me questions that I just wasn't neat enough to say mind your own business and just kind of feeling awkward I sort of deflected the question and backed up but when I got home I marveled that I didn't just say didn't your mama teach you no manners

36:50 and if people are bold enough to do that with me in a place of leadership I just wonder what are they doing with the rank and file of God's people that's one of the ways it manifests itself remember first Corinthians 13 5 love does not behave itself unseemly it doesn't act contrary to the accepted scheme of things someone said love does or says nothing that would raise a painful blush on the cheek of another love does or says nothing that would raise a painful blush on the cheek of another there's some things we do that raise an innocent blush there's some of you whenever you're complimented for how you look you blush but you're glad you blushed it's nice to know someone noticed you had a new dress or a new hairdo but you see when you know that what you're going to ask will raise a painful blush love will not allow us to do it that's one way this sin concretely manifests itself secondly when we discuss with another person things about others that are none of our business you see in the first instance we're probing an individual concerning matters that are none of our business in the second example we're discussing with a third person things about others that are

38:19 none of our business Romans 14 4 to his own Lord a servant stands or falls what right do you have to discuss with a friend your opinion about another person's choice of a home choice of a car where they went on vacation what right do you have to speak to another about another's choice whether to use a Christian school home school or put him in a secular public school what right is it of yours to discuss that with someone else they are operating before the eye of their Lord it is meddlesome gossipy intrusive speech to probe into things like that that are none of your business what right do you have to express your opinion about another's stewardship of procreating it's a shame they're having all those that's none of your business none of your business none of mine now if another has clearly sinned you're not to talk to a third party about it you're to go to them if your brother sinned rebuke him if you repent forgive him Luke 17 3 or Galatians 6 1 if one be overtaken in a fall you that are spiritual restore such a one or Matthew 18 15 if your brother sinned against you go tell him his fault between you and him alone but otherwise you have no business discussing it I shall never forget how God

39:47 confronted me with this principle I was only 18 maybe I had turned 19 I was at a Christian college where I had gotten to know quite well a very godly missionary from Africa a doctor Thompson was his name he was a chiropractor John done amazing work with chiropractic in dealing with lepers and he was not appreciated by the administration because he had certain emphases that were lacking greatly in the administration in certain aspects of the Christian life and one day in chapel certain remarks were made by the president of the school that I thought were really aimed at my friend Dr. Thompson I mean he did in my judgment he did everything but name his name and I sat there I was angry why are you treating my friend that way so I went to his office and I had the temerity 19 year old what did I know I said Dr. Thompson I said they really gave it to you in chapel this morning didn't you I'll never forget he looked at me and he said Albert the chapel speaker will give account of himself to God I will give account of myself to God and you will give account of yourself to God I felt about that big end of discussion you see what the

41:16 lesson was if I was in a position to speak to the president and I had a stewardship of responsibility it would be one thing but I had no such responsibility I was there as a student I was not to be sitting in judgment and then seeking to foment and agitate Dr. Thompson's words have remained with me today and how many things were my remaining Adamic nature would want to probe and then talk to others about those things Albert he will give account of himself to God I will give account of myself to God and you will give account of yourself to God and then there's a third way this is concretely manifested when we pass on to others information about people and events in the lives of others when there's no necessity to do so you see in the first case we're probing with an individual in matters that are none of our business in the second we're talking to third parties about someone over here in matters that are none of our business in this third we are passing on to others information about people and events in the lives of others when there's no necessity to do so and often when what we pass on

42:46 is not as firmly established as fact and we may be violating the ninth commandment it usually begins with the words have you heard that that's what a tail bearer is here's the latest tale and I will be its bearer I will bear the tail to you that's a tail bearer this is tail bearing gossipy speech it's interesting our English dictionary defines a gossip as a person who chatters and repeats idle talk and rumors especially about the private affairs of others a person who chatters and repeats idle talk and rumors especially about the private affairs of others and we need to learn to ask ourselves is what I'm about to say to another about others true necessary and does it fall within the framework of my legitimate responsibility or is it none of my business so we've considered the sin biblically identified the sin concretely described now thirdly the sin circumstantially aggravated the sin circumstantially

Heading 3 - The Sin Circumstantially Aggravated

44:16 aggravated while it is possible to indulge the sin of gossipy intrusive meddlesome tale-bearing speech at any time in any place with anyone yet the texts we examined highlighted two settings or circumstances in which this sin is particularly manifested and within which certain people are particularly vulnerable to commit this sin the circumstance of idleness and the circumstance of social butterfly-ism I made up a word this morning first of all the circumstance of idleness you remember in 2nd Thessalonians 3 and verse 11 Paul is dealing with these people who will not work they are not busy with their hands in a legitimate calling they busy themselves with their feet and their tongues we hear that some walk among you disorderly work not but our busy bodies they walk they don't work and they talk their idleness leaves them particularly vulnerable to the commission of this sin many of you have heard as I did growing up idle hands are the devil's

45:44 workshop and where does he do a lot of his work when our hands are idle and we he does it with our tongues and there is a particular vulnerability when we are not soul engaged in a given task that God has put in our hands and when we are tempted to be lazy and to be shirkers and to be those who are procrastinating with respect to our God given task we are particularly vulnerable to this sin and then social butterflyism first of all first Timothy 5 and verse 13 he says I don't want these younger widows to be placed on the roll for with all they learn to be idle going about from house to house and not only idle but tattlers busybodies speaking things they ought not what is the circumstance here social butterflyism they go about from house to house now in Paul's day to do that you had to go out and move your feet and your legs to get there we don't need to do that in our day what we need to do is push 10 buttons on the touchpad 9 7 3 2 5 6 4 0 6 9 and immediately we pawn

47:13 to another house and when we're done we can hang up 9 7 3 and in a court can visit 6 houses to do what not to some specific pointed well divine purpose even if the purpose is the nurturing of a friendship the passing on of some legitimate concern but just to run off at the mouth with another and that's where much of this sin is committed when the specific purpose for a telephone call has been accomplished and then we're just laid back talking and we don't like periods of silence on the telephone I'm not going to pay for silence I mean if my phone bill comes so many minutes talking so and so I want to know I used it well and it is in that setting that we are particularly vulnerable to this sin according to the scriptures and I would not want in any way to undermine the legitimacy of a non-structured visit by phone or by person that's been my wife's salvation in these years of these months of being confined at home and how the telephone has been a means of grace to nurture her friendship with many of you to communicate with many of you

48:42 our thanks for your meals and in the conjunction with that she's had wonderful conversations with you entered in to your burdens your joys the concerns of your life I'm not talking about that and the last thing I would want to do is to lay upon any sensitive conscience a restriction that would be unbiblical but what I am saying is this that so often we go beyond those bounds of conversation that fits the description of Ephesians chapter 4 we are not to let corrupt speech proceed out of our mouth but positively that which is good to the use of edify and we get beyond that and we run out of things to say and then up come the things that fit the description of gossipy meddlesome intruders intrusive tale-bearing speech and I'm not going to have and put out a three-page list and catalog so you can look down and say this fits that you've got to work that thing out before God every one of you just as I must do it but nonetheless if we're sensitive to the pressure of these passages it is clear that this sin is circumstantially aggravated by idleness and by social buttering and the best thing some of you could do to avoid this sin is to limit your phone calls say I'm going to talk for

50:12 ten minutes and then I'm going to get back to my God-given task I won't allow my idleness to leave me vulnerable to this sin now am I going to come and check up no you've got to sort this out before God you can go out of here this morning pouting and snorting and saying well I was about to leave but this is what the Bible teaches and if you're honest with your own heart you must acknowledge I've been guilty I have talked to others about matters that were none of my business I've talked about others to others in matters that were none of my business and by God's grace I'm going to repent and I'm going to deal with it and I'm going to change my ways well we've considered the sin biblically defined the sin concretely described the sin circumstantially aggravated now fortly the sin evangelically confronted and conquered the sin evangelically confronted and conquered and what do I mean evangelically I mean confronting it in the light of the gospel what do we do what does the cross of Christ and the gift of the spirit and the word of God and the fellowship of the saints what do these evangelical provisions have to say with respect to this sin of gossipy intrusive

Heading 4 - The Sin Evangelically Confronted and Conquered

51:41 meddlesome tale-bearing speech well I want to answer it in two categories first of all for some of you this sin is a reigning sin this sin reigns in your life and is one of the several evidences that you are most likely a stranger to the grace of God this sin is as addictive to you as the sin of drunkenness drugging sexual immorality is to others it began early in your life you had no guidance in your upbringing with respect to the use of your tongue in the circumstances when your character was being formed and set you were left to let your tongue do whatever it wanted to do and out of the abundance of your unregenerate heart your tongue has etched patterns in which gossip meddlesome intrusive tale-bearing speech is absolutely ingrained into the texture of your soul and it's a reigning sin I remind you of Matthew chapter 12 verses 33 to 35 with respect to the use of our tongues Jesus said these words that we looked at in our initial study and we go back to them this morning Matthew 12

53:11 33 either make the tree good and its fruit good or make the tree corrupt and its fruit corrupt for the tree is known by its fruit you offspring of vipers how can you being evil speak good things for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks for the good man out of his good treasure brings forth good things and the evil man out of his evil treasure brings forth evil things this for some of you may well be the proof positive that you're unregenerate and you need a new heart because it's only out of a good heart a good treasure that you begin to bring forth good things and so you need to go to God as revealed in Jesus Christ recognizing that there is a savior who throughout his 33 years never once spoke one gossipy never once meddlesome intrusive tale-bearing word he kept the law perfectly in every utterance of his tongue as surely as he never spoke anything contrary to truth never spoke anything that was corrupting never spoke anything that was abusive so he never spoke one word that could be justly identified as gossipy intrusive meddlesome

54:40 and tale-bearing and he kept the law perfectly on behalf of his people as their legal representative head and then he went to the cross and he died under the anathema of God bearing our sins in his own body up to the tree even our sins of gossipy meddlesome intrusive tale-bearing speech and my friend you need to go and plunge yourself in that fountain open for sin and uncleanness and be cleansed from your sins of the tongue you need to cry to Christ mediator of the new covenant that he will then do in you what he says he will do in that covenant take out the heart of stone give you a heart of flesh give you a heart that will be a good treasure out of which will come good things and for some of you perhaps the clearest evidence that you have a new heart a cleansed heart that you're in saving relationship to Christ will be right at this point when a man's been a foul mouth cursing drunkard what's the clearest evidence he's been converted he stops his drunkenness and he stops his foul mouth speech right well for some of you perhaps the real evidence that you have come into saving you with Christ

56:09 will be that no longer does this sin reign in you but then there's a second category for some of us in whom it is not a reigning sin but a troubling remaining sin what are we to do if the arrows of God have found us this morning what are we to do first thing we do is own it as sin stop rationalizing stop trying to nitpick with a phrase here or phrase there where I may not have stated it stop all that nonsense and say oh God oh God you found me this morning this tongue has been a gossipy meddlesome intrusive tail-baring tongue Lord you found me out you're answering the prayer of your son Father sanctify them by the truth thy word is truth Lord Jesus you intend to sanctify me your word has found me out I'm not going to be so foolish as to frustrate your prayers and frustrate the passion of my heart to be a more holy man or woman oh God you have found me out I own my sin for he that covers his sin shall not prosper but whoso confesses and forsakes them shall obtain mercy and then you go to that fountain open for sin and uncleanness for if we confess our sins he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness ask God to cleanse you

57:37 even as the prophet Isaiah he was no drunken cursing bum when he had that sight of the exalted Jehovah upon the throne and he cried out I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips and God took a coal from the altar from the place of sacrifice and laid it upon his lips and he said your iniquity is purged because of the sacrifice made and I urge you to do so and I urge you to own your sin go to the fountain and then take your position afresh in Christ read over and pray in a passage such as Romans 6 1 to 14 I am united to Christ in Christ I died to sin sin shall not exercise lordship over me this thing has no right to dominate my life as a Christian therefore Lord I present myself afresh to you as alive from the dead and my members as instruments of righteousness and my members oh Lord every day I will present my tongue to you to be an instrument of resurrection life and power and blessing to others and then you will begin to take the practical steps to mortify this sin you will cut off association with the people who are determined to cause you to stumble in this sin you'll graciously tell them John, Mary I have had dealings with God my conversations with you

59:07 have left me vulnerable and I have to gossipy meddlesome intrusive tale-bearing speech I've had dealings with God on December the 15th 2002 and I'm determined to deal with this sin are you determined to help me oh well you just sorry goodbye goodbye no friendship is worth dishonoring my Lord and grieving the spirit but I go home today and say Lord after telling and pouring my heart out I fear they'll just go on loving your friends more than loving a holy one company not with him that opens wide his lips that's a command with those that indulge this sin and leave you vulnerable to indulge it with them look at the circumstances in which you're most vulnerable the telephone is my nemesis what am I going to do I was talking with some of the ladies last week what you're going to do is when you call up punch in your ten numbers you're going to say Mary John before we talk I want us to pray God will keep us from gossip meddlesome intrusive tail bearings you lead in prayer this time I'll lead in prayer

60:36 the next time and when we're done talking one of us will lead in prayer and thank God for his help that we've spoken that which is unto edification oh you say pastor that's extreme is it is it extreme is it extreme to pray is it extreme to watch my bible says watch and pray that you enter not into temptation I have found it to be a tremendously sanctifying thing since several years ago I started determining that as a general rule I'm going to pray with anyone with whom I have any extensive conversation on the phone at the end of that conversation and just knowing all the way through I'm going to have to call on God at the end of this conversation what a check it has been upon many things that I otherwise would have said I'm so perverse I need that discipline upon my soul that I am before the face of my God in what I say and then give yourself to cultivating the contrary disciplines of grace Ephesians 4.29 it's not enough that you don't indulge corrupt speech but Paul says but Paul says but then speak that which is unto edification speak that which will minister grace and begin to cultivate how can I raise things in the conversation that is legitimately

62:04 legitimate for me to raise that will turn the conversation into matters that will edify and minister grace one to another well we've considered together this morning this sin of gossipy meddlesome incongruousness intrusive tale-bearing speech we've seen it defined from these three key passages I've tried to give you some concrete description of where and how it raises its ugly head and spews its venom we've looked at the circumstances that can aggravate it and we've looked at the gospel remedy now my question is what are you going to do with all this can you go out the door and say well pastor thank you for a good message boy boy boy pastor really worked hard to preach this morning didn't he is that what you're going to do some of you have done that times without number and you're not one bit better not one bit better not one bit better why I haven't preached a perfect sermon but I think I've preached a biblical sermon I think I've preached a clear sermon I think it's been rooted in solid exegesis it's had enough particularizing in specifics that you're not sitting there saying well what does all this mean floating around why in the world aren't you going to do something about it

63:31 I think some of you need to reckon with that issue when the postlude is being played today say God am I going to go out of here and do what I've done times without number shake the pastor's hand thank you for the ministry and be no different friends I don't labor to have your hands shake and your compliments that I preach the good sermon I'm laboring to see Christ formed in you that's what I'm committed to and I believe many of you are committed to that but not all of you not all of you and I'm not all of you I want to see all of you committed to that I want to present you all mature in Christ Jesus so what are you going to do what about some of you kids some of you young people you've already gotten in the wretched habit of having a loose tongue the delights to pick up little juicy tidbits and pass them on to your buddies and your girlfriends are you going to stop it are you going to say today I am not going to indulge that sin anymore so help me God I want the Lord to tell you to be generous that some of you will be able to look back on this day and say I had dealings with God December the 15th 2002 and there'll be some people that know that's not empty talk is that too much to expect that God's world will affect that transforming grace in your life and in mine may God grant it to be so

64:59 let's pray our Father we thank you for your word we thank you that it is indeed a lamp to our feet and a light to our hearts and to our pathway and we pray that you would take your word and cause it to do its intended work in each one of our hearts whatever's had the mixture of the chaff of man's thought blow upon it and bring it to naught whatever has been true to your holy word we pray that you'd fulfill your promise that it would not return to your void but would accomplish that where unto you've sent it God hear our cry and seal it to our hearts we pray Amen