Desire & Heed Correction & Counsel

Recap: Foundational and Major Issues in Godly Admonition

0:03 How not to foul up the training of your children. This is cassette number 20 in a series given by Pastor Albert N. Martin in the adult Sunday school class of the Trinity Baptist Church on June 9th, 1991. Now in this present series of studies on how not to foul up the training of our children, we're presently focusing our attention on the second of the two great means ordained of God for the godly nurture of our children.

0:34 Namely, that means identified in Ephesians 6.4 as admonition which like chastening is to be of the Lord. And thus far we have established that to admonish is to put someone in mind of something, to instruct verbally with authority and urgency, to reprove, to warn and to entreat. And in our word study of all, all of the usages of both the noun and the verb admonish or admonition in the New Testament, we came to that corporate conclusion that the word is used with great flexibility and the fundamental common denominator is that it is a verbal exercise and it is a verbal exercise with authority and a verbal exercise aimed at changing thinking and behavior or fixing certain things in the minds and in the behavior patterns of others. Then turning to the book of Proverbs as our primary source book, we began our study of what constitutes godly admonition.

1:53 And we began by focusing upon this first issue that I call the foundational issue in all godly admonition. And we began by focusing upon this first issue that I call the foundational issue in all godly admonition. And we began by focusing upon this first issue that I call the foundational issue in all godly admonition. And according to Proverbs 1-7, the fear of the Lord is not merely the beginning, but the chief part.

2:12 It is the foundational element of all true knowledge. That is, the impartation of knowledge in all of its various facets with constant regard to the person and being of God, the claims and authority of God, the will and the constant knowledge of God, the knowledge of God of all of our ways and deeds, and also with the recognition of our accountability to God that will come to its climactic expression in the day of judgment. And we went through literally several dozens of passages in the book of Proverbs and saw how that in all of the broad range of godly parental admonition, Solomon was careful to interject again and again and again, and again, this foundational element of the fear of God. He was not content to perpetuate his ways, family traditions, cultural traditions, national traditions, and ethnic traditions...

3:21 He was concerned to convey the ways of God worked out under the eye of God as he and his son were on their way to the judgment, spent away. And if we are not doing that, we are not admonishing our children in the Lord. We may be admonishing them, but we are doing so in the realm of mere secular or humanistic admonition. Then having established that the foundational issue in all godly admonition is the fear of God, we proceeded last week to take up the major issues addressed in godly parental admonition.

4:04 And I urge you to do what I have been doing, and that is to speed read through the book of Proverbs, trying to pick up the recurring or the most frequently recurring motifs. What notes are sounded again and again and again and again? And we considered two of them last week. We saw, number one, that parents...

4:26 Parents must admonish their children to be attentive listeners to godly parental instruction, guidance, and warning. And we looked at approximately a dozen portions in Proverbs where this idea is either explicitly expressed or implicitly set before us. Again and again, Solomon says, Hear, O my son, my words. Forget not.

4:55 The law of thy father and the commandment of thy mother. And if we as parents are to have this emphasis in our admonition, we must know our God-given role as parents. We must be prepared by a growing acquaintance with the word of God, and we must have a resolute determination to give the necessary instruction, warning, and guidance. And then we took up the second major emphasis, of the admonitions in Proverbs.

5:28 Parents must admonish their children to be active in the pursuit of true knowledge and wisdom. Here we looked at approximately fifteen texts in which the sentiments of chapter four, verses five through nine are repeated again and again and again in various ways and with respect to various issues. But the underlining thrust is the admonition that the son pursue true knowledge and wisdom. Chapter four, verses five to nine.

6:05 Get wisdom. Get understanding. Forget not, neither decline from the words of my mouth. Forsake her not, and she will preserve thee.

6:16 Love her, and she will keep thee. Wisdom is the principal thing. Therefore, get wisdom. Yea, with all thy getting.

6:25 Get understanding. Exalt her, and she will promote thee. She will bring thee to honor when thou dost embrace her. She will give to thy head a chaplet of grace.

6:36 A crown of beauty will she deliver to thee. And then he goes back into the first motif. Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings. And what will it require of us if we are to put teeth into this?

6:53 Well, we ourselves must have inquiry, requiring active minds, always pursuing the full range of true knowledge and wisdom in due proportion. Now, I've chosen my words carefully. Always pursuing the full range of true knowledge and wisdom in due proportion, so that we do not allow our pursuit of one dimension of wisdom to get out of proportion to the relative importance it has in relationship to other aspects of wisdom. Secondly, we must make calculated efforts to encourage this pursuit in our children by asking them questions which force them to reflect about themselves and the world about them. We must ourselves probe them with questions to take their natively lazy minds and prod them to action. And then we must provide them with the tools to acquire knowledge and understanding all the way from structuring into their lives and guiding them in the reading of the scriptures, in the reading of good books, etc. And then thirdly, and this is where we closed, we must actively resist the influences which would negate this pursuit or weaken it.

8:15 And we considered TV obsession, obsession with music, and I don't know how I forgot the third one, but I had a school teacher come up to me prayer meeting night and say, video games. I said, I just plumb forgot. And even secular educators and psychologists are appalled and some of them alarmed at the horrible influence of addiction to TV or video games. And this teacher said she noticed a marked difference in certain pupils that she was teaching between certain grades and as she investigated she found when she got into the homes that here was the culprit, locked in front of images passing by a screen, no verbal skills being exercised, no mental skills being exercised, locked out from people, locked out from reality, locked in to the fantasy world of video games. Dear parents, don't you look at video games as an innocent pastime. Even those that are not rooted, as some of them are in the occult and in the brutal, they have a powerful addictive tendency. That's one reason why I will not play one.

9:42 I've never played one in my life because I have a naturally addictive personality when it comes to anything competitive. And I'm afraid I could get hooked. I wouldn't own one. I'm not saying you can't.

9:55 But I'm saying you better monitor the time your kids spend to make sure it is a form of legitimate recreation and not a subtle form of horrible addiction. Now did you hear me? Don't anyone go out and say, How's the mark on them video games? Says you're going to hell if you have one.

10:12 No, he didn't say that. But it may help your kids to hell if you let them get addicted to it. Pretty dull stuff to have to follow their Sunday school teacher's reasoned presentation of the Bible and the preacher's reasoned presentation of the Word of God. Where they've been sitting there zig-zag, zing-zing, zoom-zoom, boom-zoom.

10:33 You want to turn them off from the Word of God? Help them on the way to hell? Then invest a hundred bucks in a batch of video games. Turn them loose and go do your own thing.

10:43 You'll pay the price. Horrible, horrible enemy of that inquiring mind and spirit. May God help us as parents. Now, I gave you homework assignment.

Identifying Additional Major Emphases in Proverbs

10:54 And said before I went on to the next two that I am convinced are two more major emphases of admonition in the book of Proverbs. Let's see what you came up with, those of you who did your homework. What would you say is another major emphasis of admonition given by the father and the mother to their son or to their children? Anyone want to venture the chance of being right or wrong?

11:25 All right, Pedro. Very, very good. Pete, stand up and repeat that. Double the volume.

11:54 All right. Really, seriously. Very good. All right.

12:13 And God willing, we'll take that up as one of the major things and we'll see how in passage after passage when he's reasoning with his son, he says, now, if you go down this way, this is what will bring you now and this is what you'll face in the end. If you go down this road, this is what it'll bring you now and this is what it'll bring you at the end. Very good. That's a recurring motif in the admonitions in Proverbs.

12:40 All right. Someone else. Yes, George. Oh, yes.

12:49 Now, that's one of the two I hope to get to today. The parents must admonish their children with respect to those whom they choose and those whom they refuse as their friends. Others may be choosing them and making it very evident. They want them to be their friends.

13:06 But Solomon gives his son a criteria, a set of criteria by which to establish should I respond favorably to their overtures. My son, if sinners entice thee, the sinners are going after him. Hey, be one in our gang. Be one of our buddies.

13:24 Consent thou not. If they say come, etc. All right. Another major emphasis.

13:29 All right. Someone else find another major strand. Yes, Brian. Okay.

13:44 You sure you didn't see my notes? Okay. Well, when we come to number four, if we get to it today, you'll see how parallel that is. So I have to agree with him because if he's wrong, I'm wrong too.

13:54 And we've both been reading the wrong book because I think you'll all agree that's there again and again in Proverbs. All right. Another major emphasis that you found. All right.

14:03 Rich. Okay. So you would say then a major point of the emphasis in the area of motivation is remember the relationship you've sustained to the ones admonishing you. Okay.

14:43 All right. Someone come up with something else. All right, David. And then down to you, Eric.

14:48 All right. The impartation of godly financial perspectives. Very major emphasis. That's right.

15:04 Is that what you were going to say, Louise? I saw you shaking your head in a way that I thought he was amening what you were going to say. All right, Eric. All right.

15:12 A major emphasis upon being guarded from sexual impurity. Well, these are all been helpful in it. I'm thankful that a number of you have obviously at least speed read through and opened your mind and heart to these emphases. But in the interest of time, let's see if we can cover in the next 35, 37 minutes two more of the major emphases that are found in the admonition.

15:45 We can't be exhaustive. I'm hoping that by taking two more today and possibly three, four next week, God willing, we can round this out and you can do the rest of your work on your own. I have no idea how it's been done. And you all can read and use a concordance if necessary and do the other work.

Parents Must Admonish Children to Desire, Welcome, and Heed Rebuke, Correction, and Counsel

16:06 Here's the third. And the order is not significant. All right. After we move from the foundational, which is significant, it undergirds all the others.

16:16 We have said, first of all, that parents must admonish their children to be attentive listeners. Secondly, parents must admonish their children to be active learners. Thirdly, parents must admonish their children to learn to desire, welcome and heed rebuke, correction and counsel. I'm surprised someone didn't mention that because it is a major emphasis.

16:48 Parents must admonish their children to learn to desire, welcome and heed, rebuke, correction and counsel. All right. Open your Bibles, tighten your seatbelts and we'll go through with very little comment. What I've tried to do under a couple of these verses this morning is just quotes and choice sections from some of the books that are commentaries on Proverbs, hoping to whet your appetite and hoping you'll save your pennies and purchase them.

17:20 These two are in print, are no or are not, on Proverbs and Charles Bridges. Alas, ward law is not, but some movement is afoot to see if we can get his three volumes reprinted. Masterful stuff. All right.

The Value of Reproof as an Expression of Love and Path to Life (Proverbs 3:11-12; 5:12-13; 6:23; 9:7-9; 10:17)

17:33 Chapter 3, verses 11 and 12. My son, despise not the chastening or the instruction of Jehovah, neither be weary of his reproof for whom the Lord loveth, he reproveth, even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. Now, as he's exhorting his son to be receptive to divine instruction or chastisement and reproof, he says you should do so because as in the earthly realm, a son who is rightly related to his father and a father to his son knows that the reproofs of his father are not expressions of trying to get on his case, to bug him, to make life miserable. They are manifestations of his delight in his son. He delights in his son enough not to let him go out into life unreproved for folly, unreproved for unsound thinking and judgment and patterns. He loves him too much to have him go out ill-equipped to face life.

18:51 Just as a commanding officer preparing troops for battle loves them too much to let them sleep till ten in the morning and not drill them and cause them to get so acquainted with their weaponry that they can fire it and load it and clean it automatically under the most intense conditions. A battalion leader who loves his soldiers will reprove anything that would leave them vulnerable to death and injury in battle. So a father, a son in whom he delights, will admonish and rebuke and reprove the son whom he wants to send into life, prepared for life. So you see the first mention of reproof is mentioned in such a way that the son would learn to desire this expression of his father's delight. Welcome these expressions of his father's delight. Heed those expressions of his father's delight. Chapter 5, verses 12 and 13.

19:58 Here is the person who has fallen before the immoral woman. And as he's reflecting on the terrible results, the emphasis that Pete mentioned, setting before people the immediate and long-range effects of a given course of action, and thou mourn at thy latter end when thy flesh and thy body are consumed, and say, How have I hated instead destruction, and my heart despised reproof? You see what he's repenting of? He's repenting of despising reproof instead of loving and welcoming and heeding reproof.

20:40 You see that? He says, In your end you'll see to despise, to treat lightly and with disdain godly reproof is to put yourself in the way of destruction. Therefore the opposite should be true, my son. Welcome, love, heed and obey reproof rather than bitterly mourn that you despised it.

21:03 Chapter 6 and verse 23. For the commandment is a lamp and the law is light, but in what form are they functioning in that way? And reproof of instruction are the way of life. Reproofs that in their very nature are instructive they are the very way of life.

21:32 My son, do you want to be in the way of life? Then you must learn to love everything that tends to and contributes to life and reproofs of instruction are the way of life. You see you don't need to train the ordinary normal child to love good foods that keep him in the way of good physical life. But because of the adversity of the heart we must train them to love reproofs. Pride is so ingrained and the love of sin that there's nothing of natural self-love to rise above it and we must admonish our children to learn to desire, welcome and heed, rebuke, correction and counsel. Chapter 9 verses 7 to 9. He that correcteth a scoffer get it to himself reviling and he that reproves a wicked man get it himself a blot. Reprove not a scoffer lest he hate thee. Reprove a wise

22:36 man he'll bite his lip grin and bear it and still be your friend at a distance. No, reprove a wise man and he'll love thee. Why? Because he loves what thou has done for him. Thou has done him a great favor in reproving him. So he will love you for what you've done for him. The reproofs will be like the excision of that which could cause death when a cancer is cut out of the body of a man. Godly wise reproof is aimed to cut out the cancer cells of moral perversity under the blessing of God. So the son is taught to look upon the mark of a mature perspective, one that welcomes, desires and heeds, rebuke and correction. Chapter 10 and verse 17. He is in the way of life that heedeth correction. But he that forsaketh reproof erreth. Now don't tell me,

23:45 ask me why you err and when you do err you have committed an error. But that's the way it is. He errs. Alright? And when he errs he makes an error. And it says he that forsakes reproof errs. Now what's the contrast? Heeding correction, forsaking reproof. Now this is a case in which a man may not turn around and spit in the eye of the one who reproves it. He just simply doesn't do what the reproof would direct him to do. I actually know some people, they don't get mad at you when you reproof them. They look at you and they smile and even agree that the reproof is needed.

24:25 But they don't do anything. They don't do anything. They just go on in the same patterns. He says he is in the way of life that heeds correction.

The Safety and Wisdom of Seeking and Heeding Counsel (Proverbs 11:14; 12:1, 15)

24:35 What's he doing to his son? He's trying to cultivate in his mind an appreciation for reproof and rebuke because they tend to life. Alright? Chapter 11 and verse 14. Where no wise guidance is the people falleth. But in the multitude of counselors there is safety. I have put reproof and rebuke and counsel together for this simple reason. It means taking seriously advice coming from someone other and out of someone else's stock other than my own brain.

25:14 And really, the big problem in that whole area with all of us is rotten, stinking, devil-like pride. If I didn't think of it then somehow she or she is better than I am because they did. No, doesn't mean that at all. And in this particular passage we are told where no wise guidance is the people fall. But in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Now that doesn't mean you run around and poll every elder as to whether or not you ought to buy striped shoelaces or stay with your plain brown ones. No, that's ludicrous. But it does mean in matters where there are great issues at stake or matters where you're going down paths you've never gone before, he is teaching his son to remember and to recognize that in his own experience and judgment there is not an infinite pool of wisdom for every situation. But in the

26:18 collected insight and experience of others there will be sufficient wisdom to help him to make a safe choice. Alright, then chapter 12 verses 1 and 15. Whoso loveth correction, ah you see, loves correction, loveth knowledge, but he that hates reproof is brutish. Now, here's where I want to read from Bridges. To whet your appetite to get Bridges if you haven't yet. I'm doing a sales job on Bridges and some of you are tough nuts to crack. You walk out of the showroom three times before you buy. And so we've been emphasizing how good it would be to have a copy of Bridges in every home and I hope before we're done you're convinced that the would be a wise thing to do.

27:11 Listen to Bridges' comments on this. But that irritable pride that hates reproof as if it were an affront to be told our faults, argues not only a lack of grace, chapter 10, 17 and 15, 10 which we're coming to, but lack of understanding. Brutish folly. Like the horse which bites and kicks at the man who performs a painful operation upon him, though absolutely necessary for removing a dangerous distemper.

27:41 He is surely a brute and not a rational creature who has swallowed poison and would rather suffer it to take its course than admit the necessary relief of medicine, lest he should be obliged to confess his folly in exposing himself to the need of it. Oh for a teachable spirit to sit at the feet of our divine master and learn of him. Here's the man that thought he was drinking lemonade and someone else who knows better says you drank poison man let's get your pumped stomach pumped out. He said no, no, no, no I drank lemonade, I know it was lemonade you can't tell me. And he goes into convulsions through his pride and his stubbornness. That's the picture. It's being like a brute beast without rational faculties to refuse reproof. Verse 15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he that is wise hearkens unto counsel. You see the fool doesn't

28:42 seek counsel. Why? Because he's wise enough to know that if he did, his scheme that he has fixed up in his own head that looks so good to him that anyone of equal or greater intelligence and spiritual discernment could blow the thing to pieces. So what does he do?

29:00 He thinks the thing through, he makes his decision and he goes and he does it. Why? Because down underneath he doesn't really have the confidence that it's truly wise. If he did, he knows that wise men would confirm in that decision and he wouldn't load the facts to precondition their response. Some of you are very clever at that. But the problem is your elders act like a team of doctors and unless we've sworn to secrecy on an issue we compare notes as we deal with the sheep. And very interesting how sometimes one person goes with the same situation to one elder and here's the picture and goes to another and we elders sit there and say you talking about the same person? You talking about the same problem? And what you were doing

29:46 you were telling just enough. You weren't lying you were selectively conveying the facts hoping to manipulate a response that would confirm you in your own predisposition to do a certain thing. Now that's not seeking counsel. That's just to be a clever fool.

30:03 That's to be a manipulative fool. The text tells us that if we are wise we know we don't have that degree of self confidence that I can take everything in hand and make the best decision. But wisdom is to know my limitations and to truly harken to counsel and to convey enough of the facts in an accurate unbiased way that wiser more experienced minds can evaluate them and give the counsel I need. Now that's what he's telling his son. Don't be a fool.

30:34 It's not a mark of great maturity that you go through life never seeking counsel in your crass carnal independent foolish spirit. He that is a wise man harkens unto counsel. Chapter 13 verse 1 A wise son hears his father's instruction but a scoffer hears not rebuke. A wise son listens to his father's instruction or correction.

The Consequences of Refusing Correction: Shame vs. Honor (Proverbs 13:1, 18; 15:5, 12, 31-33; 17:10)

31:09 That word in the Hebrew as in the Greek that can be translated instruction or correction. Verse 18 of the same chapter. Poverty and shame. We come back to Pete's point. Here's the immediate results. Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth correction. But he that regardeth reproof shall be honored. Poverty and shame.

31:32 Now not in every case. Some of the most stubborn bull headed people who never seek counsel are in great places of importance. These are not to be absolutized but as a general rule poverty and shame will come. Why? Because people will make stupid fiscal decisions when they're too proud to ask counsel. And they'll make stupid moral decisions that will bring them into shame. They don't seek counsel. They don't listen to admonition.

31:58 And the end result is shame. Someone counsels a father, a godly brother, an elder, a young couple very much attached to one another romantically. And they sit them down and say look grace doesn't neuter hormones. You've been going together. You've expressed your love to one another. I want to tell you something. The temptation to take illicit steps physically are stronger as a Christian than as a non-Christian. Because if you're true Christians you're bonded in the deepest things of life that will go through the grave when marriage and romance as we know them now are no more. And because you're bonded in your commitment to Christ and to the kingdom of God you have the seed bed for the deepest most powerful eroticism. The world's eroticism lies on the end of nerve endings and eyeballs and fingertips. And so you tell them look set strict guidelines nothing beyond the holding the hands, the quick close mouth kiss when appropriate after there's a commitment when marriage is reasonably in sight. Nothing beyond that. You're getting into foreplay

33:12 repeated kissing body to body hugging open mouth kissing stroking urogenous zones that's foreplay sway from it. It will lead if not to actual fornication it will lead to a bloodied conscience it will lead to an addiction. Oh no I'm wise I know. How many have I given that counsel to who thumbed their nose at it and come back later and said oh pastor I wish I'd listened. Look at the text Solomon saw it in his day shame shall be to him that refuses correction or instruction but he that regards reproof shall be honored. That's how practical it is. That apply to some of you sitting here? Oh no not me I see there you are. You show yourself to be a fool

34:07 in the way to shame. I've never yet met a couple who said pastor thank you for those guidelines and showing the biblical basis of those guidelines how glad I am in my bride that we came to the front of the church clean before God and with a good conscience. I'm going to listen to counsel and reproof and rebuke or are you going to go on and be ashamed. Chapter 15 verse 5 A fool despises his father's correction but he that regardeth reproof getteth prudence.

34:49 You want to be a fool then just despise your father's correction the assumption is the father is giving correction or instruction rooted in the word of God conditioned by the fear of God that's the assumption that's the context so he says if you despise it ah dad get off my back I ain't 13 no more. No but you're acting like you're 7 because if you were really mature you'd know how much you don't know and you'd sit down and be begging me to help you instead of sitting there with your back and your neck up and your fur up and so sit down and listen don't be a fool don't despise your father's correction get prudence and listen to that correction verse 12 a scoffer now isn't this interesting it's stated in this way a scoffer loveth not to be reproved he will not go unto the wise you see failure to love reproof is the mark of a scoffer that's why I put in my heading parents must admonish their children to learn to desire I could have put love welcome and heed rebuke correction and counsel because here the mark of a scoffer is he doesn't have a love to be reproved do you love to be reproved how about your husbands do you love it when your wife gives you just reproof does the steam come out your ears and you grind your teeth

36:16 and you swallow it down like bitter medicine do you love it that she loves you enough to look at you objectively in the light of the word of God and zap you when you need it now maybe she needs to learn to be a little more tactful zapper it does talk about a wise reprover upon an obedient ear but whether she's wise or not if she she's right listen to a man otherwise you show yourself to be a scoffer if you don't love reproof and I'm thankful to God for the many in this church that I know love reproof I never have to pray about Lord give me wisdom to know how and when and then with knots in the stomach you wait and you look for your opening and then you sneak in and you come up at it with tip toe other people just go put your hand and say brother I think I saw something that concerns me I may be all wet but is this yes brother look in the light of the word of God this is out of thank you pastor and then they write you a note as though you did them some big favor why they love to be reproved but you're not all that way after meeting with a pastor recently not in this assembly where I had to take the initiative to reprove him about some patterns in his life he came sat down took my reproof all my best shots and when we were done and I said will you lead in prayer he broke down and he wept he said oh God thank you for a pastor that loves me enough

37:43 to reprove me confessed his sins before God and the presence of his wife and when we stood on the curb before he left I said so and so I said why is it so rare I said I took the initiative I called you upon report of these concerns you didn't fight me you didn't get your back up and say well who are you to probe into my life you came we put the date on the appointment your face was open to me when we sat you heard me when I opened the word of God you listened to your wife then you wept and thanked me and I checked up a week later and all the counsels been implemented it was scripture and I said why should that be the exception if we're all indwelt by the Holy Spirit and want to be holy let me ask you suppose that was you would you have responded the way he did now come on be honest there are some of you here you are not easy to reprove because you don't love reproof you've not made it plain that you love the proof of your wife your kids your elders your fellow believers you're like one of those unexploded bombs over there in London they have to sneak up on them hold their breath touch them and put a stethoscope on them and that's the way you are don't dare touch the fuse boom boom boom everything goes up is that what you are an unexploded

39:10 bomb waiting for anybody to dare to reprove you God have mercy on you because God calls you a fool now don't get mad at me I didn't write it it's here it's here it's here a fool despises his father's correction he that regards reproof gets prudence same chapter 31 and 32 scoffer loves not to be reproved now 31 and 32 the ear that hearkens to the reproof of life shall abide among the wise he that refuses correction despises his own soul but he that hearkens to reproof get it understanding and isn't it interesting notice what he focuses on in the last verse and I wrote in my notes could it be that this is the connection the fear of Jehovah is the instruction of wisdom and before honor goeth humility the people that refuse correction are those who to some degree have stepped out of living in the fear of God and they've got unmortified pride but when you're living in the fear of God and in humility you will be one who hearkens to reproofs of life and you will get understanding you see what a value

40:37 the father is placing upon these things as he speaks to his son again and again and again and again and again and then even pulls together the two qualities that must be active and powerfully at work in the soul if we are to welcome reproofs of instruction that is the fear of God and humanity cease to live in the fear of God and become proud and no question what you'll do if somebody tries to reprove you all right chapter 17 verse 10 a rebuke enters deeper into one that hath understanding and who says there's no humor in the Bible than a hundred stripes into a fool here's a guy he's got his back laid bare someone's there with a long leather thong and they lay a hundred stripes on his back how deep does it enter into him not very deep because he says where you find a wise man an understanding man one rebuke will enter deeper why because he'll receive it into the depths of his soul where moral perspectives and decisions are made and it'll change his life whereas the fool who's stubborn and headstrong and won't listen to counsel he'll grit his teeth he'll be

The Long-Term Benefits of Heeding Counsel and the Beauty of Wise Reproof (Proverbs 19:20; 20:18; 24:6; 25:12; 27:5-6)

42:06 Mr. Macho Indian man who's not gonna cry though he's being cut and what's he gonna do he'll set his jaw and go right on his course and the hundred stripes don't affect him except that he's got a back full of bandages but he's got an unbent unchanged heart oh how we need to convey those pictures to our children then we go on to chapter 19 in verse 20 hear counsel and receive in instruction that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end this is what I wrote in the margin of my Bible reading through Proverbs a few months ago patterns of youth with respect to listening to counsel will determine the state of your later years you see that hear counsel receive instruction that you may be wise in your latter end why do so many people become incorrigible and unteachable in their later years it's not so often because hardening of the arteries or Alzheimer's or anything else it is the ultimate fruit of a pattern of not heeding counsel in their formative years that's why you need to impart to your children by admonition the concept that they must desire and welcome and heed, rebuke, correction and counsel several more

43:33 verses quickly because I do want to bring several words of application chapter 20 in verse 18 every purpose is established by counsel and by wise guidance make thou war now as he's saying just only when you're going to war seek guidance no war is a big undertaking war is not like brushing your teeth I mean you go out and seek ten counsels shall I start with my molars or with my incisors I mean come off it I mean let's read a little booklet on the proper way to brush your teeth and that's it but war involves nations and lives and personnel and all the rest of what he's saying is in any major undertaking don't be a fool and go off half-cocked but seek wise guidance and listen to it chapter 24 and verse 6 for by wise guidance thou shalt make thy war and in the multitude of counselors there is safety wise guidance make war multitude of counselors there is safety now I know this is abused and some people who are so tentative that they can't make a decision about anything they want to get a consensus and then if it turns out wrong they can blame the people that counsel them I know there are people like that that abuse this but the abuse

45:01 does not undercut the proper use and here he's teaching his son who will eventually become a king and command armies even though you have the stature of a king don't think it beneath your dignity to seek counsel of men of lesser rank you are not the beginning in the middle and end of all wisdom seek that counsel when you make war 25 and verse 12 as an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold and all today's gold lovers like this passage now I still can't get used to seeing athletes 6 foot 3 230 pounds of bone and sinew and muscle with four gold chains around the neck I'm too old to change in my day I know what we'd have called them and I still want to call them that when I see it but anyway trying to think biblically alright as an earring of gold and an ornament of gold and I wish it had said upon a beautiful woman's ear and a woman's neck but it doesn't so I'll just have to say it's neutral in terms of the sex alright an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold what are they they are things that enhance the beauty of the one who wears them so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear I hope to preach on that text

46:29 sometime before too long when these two things come together a wise reprover and an obedient ear something beautiful happens according to this text but now suppose someone's not so wise a reprover it doesn't give me the right not to have an obedient ear I am always to have an obedient ear when being reproved someone may smite me a little bit crudely and unwisely but if there's substance to what they say I ought to have grace to receive it now whenever I am taking the role of a reprover the onus is on me to pray that I be a wise reprover but when I'm the reprovee the onus is on me to have an obedient ear you can't say don't you reprove me you didn't come wisely no no however unwisely remember what David said that Shimei cursed him he didn't do it very tactfully and say David agreed for me to say this but because of the way you've lived and what you've done in betrayal of your trust no he just treated him with great disdain David said let it be it's of the Lord I deserve what's coming it didn't come very wisely and graciously but he took it on the chin and people were ready to go lock the guy's head up and leave him alone leave him alone would to God we would have a congregation of obedient ears and wise reprovers one last

47:56 passage 27 5 and 6 better is open rebuke than love that is hidden faithful are the wounds of a friend but the kisses of an enemy are profuse what's he saying he's saying learn to appreciate open rebuke rather than having a hundred people who say I love you love you love you but their love makes no practical manifestation have one among them who openly rebukes you better is open rebuke than love that is hidden faithful are the wounds of a friend faithful trustworthy they are expressing of his faithfulness as a friend and you ought to receive them as such now in the last three minutes if we're going to admonish our kids to learn to desire to welcome to heed rebuke correction and counsel and surely you must admit after looking at 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 passages of the word of God surely this is a major emphasis of the admonitory substance in the book of Proverbs now if I as a parent am going to fulfill Ephesians 6 4 nurture my children in the admonition which is of the Lord admonition that includes not only constant admonishing that they hear and constant admonishing

Parental Application: Modeling, Not Tolerating, and Cultivating the Art of Correction

49:25 that they have an inquiring mind searching for wisdom and understanding but constantly admonishing that they learn to desire welcome and heed rebuke correction and counsel what's it going to require of us three things quickly I think you'd get them if we had time to pull them out of you but let me dump them on you number one a hearty desire for and a willing reception of these things ourselves a hearty desire and willing reception of these things ourselves I challenge some of you to do something and the ones who need it probably won't and the ones who don't will but that's what Jesus said to him that hath shall be given and him that hath not shall be taken away that which he seems to have if it happened with the Lord it's going to happen with us go home and ask your wife or your closest companion if you're single go home and ask them sometime during this week say with judgment day honesty am I a person whom you perceive to be one who loves welcomes heeds and receives reproof and counsel ask ask your children I have all mine together this week as Heidi and Gord have come out and we hope to have a family time I plan to ask them

50:54 how do they perceive their dad now I do know what their answer was when they were yet in the home but I want to know if they still perceive their dad in that way ask your kids don't back off and say oh there goes Pastor Martin and my friend do you want to be a fool then go on being a hot head whom no one can rebuke and admonish without you defending yourself justifying yourself full of pride and devoid of the fear of God well it's my personality it's my background nonsense it's your sin it's your sin well I had a father ah forget your father you say you're a new creature in Christ and indwelt by the Holy Ghost and dwelling in the midst of true Christians stop this cop out on your background and get weary of it tired of it it's a cop out and say Lord I don't want to be a fool anymore I don't want to be in the way of shame God make me wise that's the first requisite a hearty desire for and willing reception of these things ourselves secondly a willingness an unwillingness I'm sorry an unwillingness to tolerate in our children a wrong response to godly parental

52:20 rebuke correction and counsel you've got to be determined that you will not tolerate in your children a wrong response to godly parental rebuke correction and counsel I got spanked as a kid for pouting when I was reproved I didn't never would have dared talk back but you can talk back this way and we got it for talking back with the look on our face the set of our lip give him some more daddy not sweet don't tolerate your kids pouting don't tolerate them saying you don't love me you say yes it's because I love you that I'm reproving you don't let them justify we don't understand yes I do understand mommy and daddy been around a little longer than you have we do understand now you listen to me don't let your kids con you don't let them rationalize and don't let them retaliate yeah but you did this say well if daddy did that you should have told daddy and daddy would have asked your forgiveness and asked god's forgiveness I was wrong issue defused no don't tolerate an ungodly response to your rebukes corrections and counsel and thirdly we must cultivate the art

53:48 of firm repeated but non battering non irritating rebuke correction and counsel we must for anyone if anyone knows us to be wise reprover it must be with our kids because we have to harp on issues all over and over again like the writer to proverbs does but there are two ways to do it one that is unnecessarily abrasive and one that is only abrasive at the point where our children are fighting god and fighting our authority so you and I must cultivate the art of firm repeated but non battering non irritating rebuke correction and counsel and that art form will change as the kids get older the way that worked when they were seven won't work when they're old quite as efficiently and you pray that god will help you to cultivate that spiritual art as you seek to admonish your children well god willing we'll take up next week then as our first one parents must admonish their children to recognize and avoid all moral defilement and to recognize and avoid those who would lead them into it that's where we get into then evil and evil companions so let's pray our father we thank you for your word oh how we praise you that in the rearing of our children

55:16 we need not be left at the mercy of the so called experts who do not speak according to your word but that your word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway may the holy spirit write it upon our hearts and may much good come in our lives as we seek to exemplify what it is to be the righteous man or woman who welcomes receives and loves reproof rebuke and counsel oh deliver us from the pride and the stubbornness and the lack of the fear of yourself that would make us resistant to these things hear us for jesus sake amen you have been listening to how not to foul up the training of your children by pastor albert n martin these cassettes are distributed by the trinity book service if you would like a free listing of other audio cassettes and books please call us at 800-722-3584 or if you prefer you can write us at the trinity book service post office box 569 montville new jersey 07045