The Christian Family: God's Directives to: Wives

Introduction and Four Foundational Principles for Interpreting Ephesians 5-6

0:04 It's a privilege to be here. It's always a delight to meet in the flesh those whom we have come to know, at least to some degree, and for whom we have prayed and with whom we have rejoiced in the cause of the gospel and the cause of God's truth. And we are grateful for the tithes that bind us to Mount Olive, and tithes which, of course, have been particularly created because of the vision and ministry of Mr. Calhoun, and now strengthened through the many letters that I have been privileged to share with your pastor.

0:37 And as I sought his mind with reference to the theme that he felt would be most helpful to you, his people, and visitors who might come amongst us, it was his express wish that the theme of the Christian family be dealt with, and I know of no better way to come at that subject than to take the passage which has been read in your hearing and attempt, by God's grace, to open up to you. And to open up something of the mind of the Spirit as found in this portion of the Word of God. Let me say, first of all, by way of brief introduction, that I am fully aware that some of you are not yet wives and husbands, but hang in there, it won't be long. And I hope in no way that the unmarried amongst us will feel that you are being slighted, because history has shown that all things being equal, the marriage does become the portion of the great majority, not only of the children of God, but the sons of Adam as well. It's an institution ordained of God. And so I hope you young people will store up in your minds these concepts and not feel that there's something for someone else. Far better to face your very first contemplations of marriage within the biblical framework than to let your heart and your head get all messed up and gushy for someone and then just say, well, quote, we love one another, everything's going to work out.

1:58 Well, it doesn't work out. And may God...

2:00 And may God help you to lay these things up in your minds and hearts for the days that lie ahead. Second thing I'd like to say is that trying to condense into four evenings anything that even borders on an adequate exposition of this passage is a Herculean task and it means that I shall have to be unusually tied to my notes so that I can cover the entire passage. And so you forgive me, I'll be looking at your eyeballs as I preach, but I'm not going to allow myself the luxury of much digression, but I'm going to allow myself the luxury of much digression, and we're here to think hard and long and seriously upon the Word of God. And I trust that that's your reason for being here, it's my reason for being here, and that God will together, by the help of His Spirit, assist both speaker and listener. Now as we come to this passage, Ephesians chapter 5, particularly verses 22 through chapter 6 and verse 4, it is essential that we know...

3:00 And I want in the first 15 minutes, I'm going to aim at that, how well I attain that goal will be seen, but in the first 15, 20 minutes of our study tonight, I wish to underscore four introductory principles concerning this entire passage. Having done that, I will in the second place direct your attention to God's directives to wise. Then the Lord willing, tomorrow night, God's directives to husbands, and then the following night, God's directives to children, and then the last evening, God's directives to parents, in particular to husbands and fathers as the administrative heads of their homes. So then these four introductory principles, without which we will not cut a straight course in the Word of Truth as we attempt to understand this passage of the Word of God. The first principle is this. That the whole of this passage, Ephesians 5, 22 through 6, 4, is organically, vitally joined to the entirety of Holy Scripture.

4:12 In other words, what Paul is saying here has an umbilical cord that reaches right back through the entirety of the Word of God. Notice in this very passage, he makes reference to a statement extracted from the creation account in Genesis chapter...

4:31 Ephesians 5, 31 is a direct quote from Genesis 2. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife. Genesis 2, 24. So Paul is telling us that the concepts of marriage and the home, which he is expounding and laying out, are concepts that are vitally joined to the biblical doctrine of creation.

4:56 Furthermore, when he comes to deal with the responsibility of children, he makes an explicit reference to the law of God, to the Ten Commandments. Ephesians 6, 2. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise. Now notice what he's doing.

5:14 He's giving instruction concerning the home, which, though it focuses on aspects of that great truth of redemption in Jesus Christ, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, etc., he mingles with that instruction a reference, way back in creation, and a reference from the Decalogue, from the Ten Commandments, the moral law of God. Now what is he telling us by these references both to creation and to the Ten Commandments? Well, he's telling us that whatever he is teaching about the Christian family is organically joined to the entirety of the Word of God.

5:54 He is not giving us truth that stands in isolation from the rest of Holy Scripture. Ephesians 6, 2. Now why is it important to understand this? For the simple reason that the more we live in the general climate of Holy Scripture as to our thinking concerning the home, the more we will find ourselves comfortable with the specific instructions of Ephesians 5, 22 to 6, 4.

6:21 The more our minds, in the words of Romans 12, 2, are transformed by the entire message of Scripture, the more we will see the beauty, the reasonableness, and the glory of this specific portion of Holy Scripture. Whenever Paul treats the subject of the relative responsibilities of men and women, husbands and wives, he constantly goes back to the issues of creation, the issues of the general teaching of the Word of God. You can consult this in 1 Corinthians 11, and also in 1 Timothy 2. 1 Corinthians 11, 2.

6:58 Therefore, as we seek to interpret this portion in Ephesians, we must not interpret any detail in such a way as to contradict or neutralize the overall message of the Word of God in other places. That's the first principle. The whole of this passage is organically joined to the entirety of Holy Scripture. And the second principle is this.

7:24 This whole section stands within the perspective, of the essential oneness and equality of all who are in Christ. The whole of this passage stands within the perspective of the essential oneness and equality of all who are in Christ. Paul has previously taught us in this very letter, Ephesians chapter 4, verses 1 to 7, that there is an essential unity of the Spirit. A unity which involves all of the people of God.

8:00 Constituting one body, being indwelt by one Spirit, having been called in one hope of their calling. One Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God. You see what he's saying? There is an essential, a fundamental, deep and pervasive union and unity amongst all the people of God.

8:21 Galatians 3, 27 and 28. In Christ Jesus there is neither bond nor free, male nor female. Ye are all one in Christ Jesus. So whenever Paul assigns specific duties and roles to wives, to husbands, or children, this has nothing to do with their standing before God in Jesus Christ.

8:46 For in Jesus Christ there is absolute oneness and equality between husband, wife, children, or any other classification of mankind. Every single Christian stands on the cross. Every single person stands on an entirely or a completely equal plane with all of his fellow Christians in at least three areas. First of all, in the dignity of his position as a creature made in the image of God.

9:16 God made them male in his image. Genesis 1, 26 and 27. A woman is as much an image-bearer of God as is the man. You say, well what in the world does that have to do with Ephesians 5?

9:31 Simply this. When God says to a husband, you are to be the head of the wife. When he says to the wife, you are to be submissive to your husband. It is not the submission of a brute.

9:42 It is not the submission of an animal. A mindless being is the submission of an image-bearer of God. And when a husband realizes that, he will never demand the same kind of submission from his wife that he would expect from his horse. He puts the spurs in the side of his horse and says, Get out!

10:05 And he is supposed to go. He is not to treat his wife. She has a mind. She is made in the image of God.

10:13 She has a spirit. And so whatever God is saying about the role of submissiveness and the role of headship, it does not cancel out this broader biblical truth of the dignity inherent in every creature as an image-bearer. We all share equally in the dignity of creation. Secondly, we all share equally in that dignity.

10:36 In that depravity which has come to us because of the fall. In all of the key passages in the scriptures concerning the universality of sin, there is no sexual distinction. There is no distinction of rank or order. Romans 3, 10 to 19.

10:55 Ephesians 2, 1 through 3. All of these pivotal passages say that all of mankind, man, woman, fellow, girl, have been affected by this terrible moral evil called sin. And then thirdly, we share equally not only in the dignity of creation, the depravity of the fall, but in the privileges of redemption. And I already quoted from Galatians 3, 27 and 28.

11:24 In Christ, that is when a man has come within the orbit of the saving power of Christ through union with Christ, there is no sexual distinction. There is no distinction. There is no distinction of rank or of order. We are all one in Christ Jesus.

11:41 Now you cannot understand rightly the message of Ephesians 5, 22 to 6, 4, unless you understand that principle. So we've got two principles. The whole of the passage is organically tied to the rest of scripture. Secondly, this whole section stands within the perspective of those areas of essential oneness.

12:01 Thirdly, the whole section is distinctively Christian. The thing that introduces this passage is Paul's direction for a Spirit-filled walk. If a man is full of the Spirit, how does he show it? Well, not by writing volumes on my dreams, my visions, my ecstasies.

12:23 He says be full of the Spirit, speaking, making melody, giving thanks, subjecting yourselves to one another. Those are the channels cut by the Spirit. Those are the channels cut by a Spirit-filled man or woman. And then he goes on to say the husband is to fulfill his role with an eye to the Christ who has redeemed him.

12:47 The wife is to fulfill her role with an eye to the role that the church sustains in submission to Jesus Christ. And the little phrases, as unto the Lord, as Christ loved, as the church is subject, all of these phrases are distinctively Christian. The whole section is distinctively and pervasively Christian. In other words, this is not pagan instruction or mere what we would call human psychology overlaid with a few little sweets of Christian terminology.

13:26 No, no, it's Christian to the core. It breathes and throbs of the Christian thought and of the Christian perspective. The instruction rests upon the reality of Christian redemption. It appeals to Christian motives.

13:42 It is bounded by a Christian context. Now, if we understand that, then we'll realize it's impossible to grasp what Paul says unless we are true believers. Unless we have been born of the Spirit of God, this passage will be absolute nonsense to us. For the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God.

14:03 Neither can he know them, because they are foolishness unto him. Not only will we be dense in our understanding, we will find ourselves opposing the instruction that is here. For the Scripture says in Romans 8, 7, the carnal mind is enmity against God and is not subject to the law of God. There are some of you women that are going to get mad as a hatter when I expound what God says you're to be as a woman.

14:27 You're going to sit there looking up and be very polite because you're gracious and you're kind and you have lots of natural Southern charm. You wouldn't dare let down the face, but there are some of you women sitting here tonight that are going to boil with fury and if you could do what you want to do, you'd rise up and throw your shoe at me. Why? It's because your heart's never been subdued by the Holy Ghost.

14:49 You've never been born of the Spirit of God, and your heart is at enmity to the will of God. So when I expound the passage, telling you what the will of God is for you as a wife, you're going to be angry. You know what you're going to do? You're going to throw off the smoke screen.

15:05 Say, I don't agree with that preacher. My friend, it has nothing to do with agreeing with this preacher. If I honestly handle the words of Holy Scripture, you're not having dealings with this preacher. You're having dealings with the God who made you.

15:18 And if your heart rebels to his words, it's because it's a heart that has never been broken by the power of God, the Holy Ghost. Now, we've got to understand that. At the very outset, this is distinctively Christian teaching. And unless we are Christians, we will not understand it.

15:35 Secondly, we will not submit to it. Thirdly, we have no supply of grace in order to follow it. Only the Christian man can love his wife as Christ loved the church. Only the Christian woman can submit to her husband as the church is subject to Christ.

15:56 As one servant of God has said, In Christian domestic life, Jesus Christ is at once the starting point and the goal of everything. We may even say that domestic life is the beginning of everything. Domestic life is the triumph of the Christian faith. Jesus Christ is the starting point.

16:15 He is the center. And the most acid test of the genuineness of your Christian experience is what happens within the four walls of your home. That is the most telling index of where you really are. We must understand that.

16:33 And then the fourth great principle is this. Each part of the passage is inseparably joined to its counterpart. And what do I mean by that? Well, look at the passage.

16:44 Paul starts in verse 22 with a word to the wives. Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands as unto the Lord. But no sooner has he dealt with the wives' duty of submissiveness than he follows it in verse 25. Husbands, love your wives.

16:59 In other words, Paul does not envision the submission of a wife to any other kind of a husband than the kind of husband he describes in this passage. When he treats the duty of children, verse 1 of chapter 6, children, obey your parents, he immediately follows it with this command in verse 4, and ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. He does this in the next section. Servants, be obedient to your masters, verse 5.

17:28 But then he goes on to say, and ye masters, verse 9, treat your servants as they ought to be treated. In each case where he gives a direction of submission, he always follows with the counterpart of instruction to the one to whom the person is to be submissive. If wives are to be submissive, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. If children are to be submissive to parents, parents are not to provoke their children to wrath.

17:58 If servants are to be submissive to their masters, the masters are to remember that they have a master in heaven and treat their servants accordingly. And oh, what tragedy has come when any section in this portion is wrenched loose from its counterpart. What a tragic thing occurs when husbands get hold of the passage and say, see what it says, you are to be submissive to me. Oh yes, when God says to you, Mr. Husband-man, you are to love that woman with a love that reflects something of the infinite, tender, gracious, compassionate love of Christ to his church. You as a parent, you as a parent may be saying, what the Bible says to you, you kids are supposed to mind me. Ah, but it also says you are to be rearing them in the nurture and admonition that is of the Lord. Not the tyranny of a big stick, but with something of that gracious, tender, reasonable headship that we shall see described in our further studies.

19:04 So then at the very outset, let me underscore those four principles. Don't look at this passage in isolation from the rest of Scripture. Don't look at anything it says about functional responsibilities for husbands and wives out of the context of the essential equality between all of God's children in Christ. Remember as we come to the passage that it is distinctively Christian.

19:32 And last of all, remember that each part is vitally joined to its counterpart. So much for the introduction. Now we shall attempt, in the time remaining, to deal with God's directives to the wives. Now, if you will, look at your Bibles as I read Ephesians 5, 22 to 24.

God's Directive to Wives: The Key Word 'Submit'

19:52 Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the Savior of the Bible. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything. Verse 33, Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself, and let the wife see that she reverence or fear her husband.

20:33 Now, if I were to ask you to extract one key word that defines the duty of a wife, what would that word be? You have to limit yourself to one word. What would the word be according to the passage? Do you have it?

20:47 I don't want you to raise your hand and answer, but I want you to be as prepared to answer as if I pointed my finger and said I want the answer from you. What's the key word? So you know I'm not pulling the rug out from underneath you. As Almighty God speaks through the apostles to the wives, what is the key word?

21:06 It's obvious the key word is submit or be subject. Wives be in subjection to your husbands. As the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything. And wherever the scriptures treat the role of a wife in relationship to her husband, this is always the key word.

21:33 In the parallel passage in Colossians 3.18, Wives be in subjection to your own husbands. 1 Peter 3.1, In like manner ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands.

21:45 Titus 2.5, Being in subjection to their own husbands. Hence it is utterly impossible to accept the role of the wife biblically and bypass the biblical concept of subjection. Now I realize in saying that that I'm making a statement which if we had certain people present would cause them to relegate me to the realm of some kind of an extinct goonie bird who didn't know where the action was at.

22:15 For I'm fully cognizant of the women's lib, the femme lib movement, or anything else that it's called, looks upon this concept as degrading, demeaning, and merely an attempt of men in the name of religion to put women under their thumb. Well, some men may attempt to do so, but that does not negate the fact that Paul says, Wives be in subjection to your husbands. And he says that by the authority of the living God. So the key word is submit.

Understanding the Meaning of 'Submission'

22:47 But now our task must be to understand what Paul meant when he said, Be subject to your husbands. So having discerned that the key word is submit, we now address ourselves to the meaning of that word. The Bible says be subject, but what does the Bible mean when it says be subject? Now the word itself is the common word used in the New Testament to describe a relationship of subordination of someone or something to someone else.

23:18 In Luke 2.51 it says of Jesus that he came down to Nazareth and was subject to his parents. Now this is a pivotal passage to understand the significance of this word subject. Was Jesus Christ the eternal son of the living God as much when he was a boy as when he was a full grown man?

23:40 Of course he was. The scripture says that when the angel announced to Mary the birth of this child or the conception of this child, he shall be called the son of the highest. Therefore that holy thing which is begotten of thee shall be called son of God. He was son of God from his conception.

24:01 He's the eternal word made flesh. But listen, the scripture says this one, the eternal word made flesh, in human form, went down to Nazareth and submitted himself to his parents. Now did that affect in any way his inherent worth and dignity as the son of God? Of course not.

24:23 It is referring to his position within the structure of the home. It was not demeaning his dignity as the son of God to be subject to his parents. To do anything less than this would have been to disrupt the whole order that God had instituted. Submission did not mean a demeaning of his person.

24:46 And when women get hold of that, that can be true liberation. To be submissive to your husband does not mean you're giving up your dignity as a creature made in the image of God. It does not mean you're becoming something halfway between a human and a beast. It is your glory to see as a woman he's made you for a specific role and willingly to embrace it from the heart.

25:12 That's true liberation. The word in Luke 2.51, is a beautiful commentary on what it means to be submissive. Jesus willingly gave himself up to the directions and orders of his parents as the ones God had set over him.

25:29 Now, was he wiser than his own parents? The Bible says in him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily. All the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are in him. But he was still subject to them.

25:42 So it's not a matter whether the wife is better educated than the husband, whether she has more gray matter, higher IQ, more culture. It has to do with none of those factors. She is to be subject because God has ordained the structure just as much as the Son of God greater in wisdom and dignity than the very parents whom he himself had created. He was the creator of Mary and Joseph.

26:03 And yet he was subject to them. Subject to the ones he made! Without in any way staining the dignity of his person. It's the same word used in Luke 10.17.

26:16 Seventy came back and had a little hallelujah meeting. They said, Lord, even the demons are subject to us in thy name. And you remember how Jesus spoke to them. But the word there, that's what we want to attain, is something of the sense, of the meaning of the word.

26:29 The demons are subject to us. In other words, when we speak in your name, they obey us. They become subjugated to our wishes and our commands. Therefore, this word directed to the wives, be subject to your husbands, means nothing more or less than willingly to take the place of submissiveness to your husband's authority.

The Nature of Submission: Voluntary, Exclusive, and Religious

26:51 Bring your husband's authority to yourself, to a relationship of subjugation to their God-given authority and directing. So much, then, for the key word and its meaning. Now we must try to come to some understanding of the nature of this submission. And there are three things in the passage.

27:08 It is voluntary, it is exclusive, and it is religious. Look at it. First of all, the nature of this submission, it is voluntary. Why objection to your own husband's church services?

27:25 Well, the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands. The whole assumption is that a man has wooed and won this woman to himself. Even as Jesus Christ woos and wins His bride to himself. And this is the wonder of divine grace.

27:47 When God purposes to lay hold of a rebel sinner, He doesn't force the sinner to Christ. As the old confession says, Confession says, He so works upon the heart and the mind and the will that they come most freely, being made willing by His grace. Christ rules us, and in the mighty, powerful operations of the Spirit, He so works upon us that we can do nothing other than come. But Him that cometh to me, I will in no wise cast out.

28:19 All that the Father giveth me shall come to me, and Him that cometh to me, I will not cast out. And so the emphasis in the passage here on the nature of the wise submission is that it is a voluntary submission. Now, voluntary is not optional. He has commanded it, therefore it's not optional.

28:40 But it is voluntary. God addresses this word to your renewal as a Christian woman, and He says, willingly, with delight, submit yourself to your own husband. Now, sometimes...

28:54 So often the passage is read this way, Husbands, force your wives into submission. That's utterly impossible. And any of you who have tried it, you know exactly what I'm talking about. No man can force his wife to submit to him.

29:08 He can't!

29:11 Because it breaks down the whole parallel of the passage. Ah!

29:17 When did you become a Christian? When God so worked upon you that you said, Here, Lord, I give myself to you. It is all that I can do. Lord, what wilt thou have me?

29:29 What wilt thou have me to do in the words of Saul of Tarsus? If you have a wife who will not voluntarily submit to you as a husband, it's either a reflection of her unregenerate heart, in which case, instead of trying to feed her into submission with verbal whips, pray that the Holy Ghost will change your heart and save her, and then she'll take the directives of God seriously. Or it's a case of a temporary arrest of her growth as a Christian, in which case God will put His rod on her, which is far more effective than yours. For whom He loves, He chastens and scourges every son whom He receives.

30:03 And a Christian woman who will not take her place of submissiveness and resolutely refuses for a time at that point to obey her Lord, God will take her in hand, and He'll do a much better job than any of you or I could do as husbands. But now I say to you as a wife, do you say you love Christ? That's just another way of asking if you're a Christian. For if His love to you has been unfolded, by the Holy Spirit, then you love Him.

30:33 For John says we love Him because He first loved us. Whenever the Holy Spirit gives a sinner a discovery of God's love to him in Christ, that always draws forth not only the sinner's faith in the total sufficiency of Christ's sacrifice, but it draws forth love to Christ's person and His will and His ways and His word. Do you profess to be a Christian, dear women, sitting here tonight? Do you say you are born of the Holy Spirit?

31:00 Do you say you are born of the Holy Spirit? Your sins are washed in Christ's blood? Then Jesus says, If you love Me, ye will heed My commandments.

31:11 If you love Him, you will voluntarily submit to your husband. Oh yes, but I'm better. It has nothing to do with the fact that you're better educated. Oh yes, but it has nothing to do with that.

31:20 Rise, be in subjection to your own husbands. And then there are no parentheses. If you find that he is more intelligent than you are. If you find that he...

31:29 No, no, there are no qualifying statements. If he's your husband, then you're to be submissive to him. Simply because he's your husband. Now, do you say you love Christ?

31:38 And yet you're not submissive to your husband? Listen to Christ's words to you. Why call ye Me, Lord, Lord? And do not the things which I say?

31:47 Not everyone who saith unto Me, Lord, Lord, shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he that doeth the will of My Father which is in heaven. And what is the will of the Father for you as a wife? Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands. That's the will of God.

31:59 Oh yes, but you don't... I know, I don't know your husband, but God knew all about him when he put this passage...

32:04 Yes, but you... No, that's right.

32:08 I don't understand a thing about your problems, but I can read plain language from the Bible. Wives, be subjection...

32:15 Can you read it?

32:18 And put your hand upon your mouth and stop talking back to God.

32:25 You say you love Him. You will not be submissive to your husband.

32:30 It's all a bunch of empty talk. And hell will be full of people who talk well, but who are never brought in subjection to the Word of God. But not only does the Bible tell us that the nature of this submission, is voluntary, it tells us in the second place that it's exclusive. Look at the text.

32:48 Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands. And that little word, your own husbands, is a word of emphasis in the original. It doesn't come out quite as clearly in our English translation, but in the three parallel passages where wives are told to be submissive to their husbands, Colossians 3.18, 1 Peter 3.1, and Titus 2.5, this little extra word in the original is always there. Wives, be in subjection to the husband who is peculiarly your own. It's a word which describes that which belongs to an individual in contrast to that which is public property or that which belongs to another. Therefore, this is not the submission which is general to all men.

33:32 That's dealt with in 1 Corinthians 14 and 1 Timothy 2. Why are women not to take the lead in the mixed congregation of the church? 1 Corinthians 14 and 1 Timothy 2. Tell us that there is a general relationship of submission between women in relationship to men in general, but now this submission is an exclusive submission.

33:53 Wives, be subject in this sense to your own husbands. And since according to 1 Corinthians 7, verses 1 through 6, this involves the sexual role, it would be immoral for her to be subject in this sense to every man. She is to be subject to, every man in a general sense, that she is to be subject in this more exclusive way only to her legitimate husbands. In other words, wives, God is commanding you to regard your submission to your husband as one of a kind.

34:30 But not only is it voluntary and exclusive, but the nature of this submission is religious. Look at the phrase. Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands as unto the Lord. Now, follow closely.

34:47 He does not say, wives, be in subjection to your husbands as unto an inevitable cultural and evolutionary structure. He does not say, be subject to your husbands as unto the tyrannical Christian standard. He says, be subjection to your own husbands as unto the Lord. What does that mean?

35:06 Well, it does not mean as though your husband were the Lord. That's a contradiction of Ephesians 4. There is one Lord in the absolute sense. Well, what does he mean then?

35:16 He means that since the Lord has designed the specific partners and assigned their given roles, obedience, above all, must have reference to the Lord who instituted the whole structure of the family. Look at the parallel passage with reference to servants and masters down in chapter 6, verses 5 through 8.

35:41 Servants, be obedient to them that to the flesh are your masters with fear and trembling, and singleness of heart, as unto Christ, not in the way of high service as men-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, with goodwill doing service, as unto the Lord. You see what he's saying? He's saying, you slaves are to look beyond your earthly master. Realize that a sovereign God has assigned your present lot.

36:06 Realize that a sovereign God is able in that situation to be to you all that you need and let your service go beyond your earthly master and see your heavenly master who has placed you in that specific sphere where he has called you by his grace and in which you're to glorify him. Oh, dear women, listen. Once you get hold of this principle, it can revolutionize your whole thinking about your role as a wife. Your submission is not only to be voluntary, not only exclusive, but it is a deeply religious submission.

36:40 To state it negatively, it is the height of irreligion and impiety. It is walking as the Gentiles walk when you do not submit yourself to your husband. It's walking in the vanity of your own mind. And Ephesians 4.18 says, don't walk as the Gentiles walk in the vanity of their mind. You want to know the vanity of the mind of our own generation? Turn on any talk show and listen to these people blabbing off about women's rights and all this other falderal. I don't know what else to call it.

37:11 Vanity of the mind as though God had not created any distinction in the sexes. Simply an accident in the evolutionary process. And the only reason men have traditionally been the leaders is because back when we were grunting and half-talking and making peeps and squeaks when we came out of our caves, the male was the hunter and the woman was home nursing her little brood. And therefore, she had to be the domesticated member of the family.

37:37 But we've outgrown all of that now. Let's throw off the shackles of the cave. That's the whole mentality behind the present movement. There is, there is a big distinction between a man and a woman.

37:50 The only thing that hangs them up right now is that women have wombs and men don't. But they're doing their best to get over that. And in Russia, they actually kept a fetus alive for seven or eight weeks in a test tube. They're serious about this.

38:02 Some of us may laugh and think that, no, they're dead serious. There is no fundamental distinction between a male and a female.

38:12 Oh, yes, there is. In the beginning, he made them male and female. And he said, a man, shall be father and mother and plead to his wife. He said, it is not good for the man to be alone.

38:27 I will make him help answering to his needs. And Paul picks up that very thread of argument in 1 Corinthians 11 and says, the man was not made for the woman, but the woman was made for the man. The very order of creation is significant. Oh, dear women, this is a deeply religious issue.

The Ground of Submission: God's Constitution (Creative Order, Punitive Decree, Redemptive Pattern)

38:44 It has nothing to do with cultural backgrounds and traditions or evolutionary processes or evolutionary processes. It has completely to do with the design of a wise and a gracious and a sovereign God. So then, the nature of your submission as a woman, voluntary, exclusive, and religious. Now then, what is to be the ground of your submission?

39:06 Verses 23 to 24. Look at the text. Upon what grounds are you to submit to your husbands? For, he's going to give the reason, for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is.

39:22 Is the head of the church being himself the savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything. You see what Paul does? He says, the ground of your submission simply stated is this.

39:39 God has constituted itself. The husband is the head of the wife. He doesn't explain it. He doesn't defend it.

39:48 He doesn't debate it. He says, that's the way it is. That's the way it is. And he'd ever say, shall be, because God has constituted that relationship.

39:57 The husband is the head of the wife. Failure then to take the place of submission is to violate the constitution of God. But you say, Mr. Martin, can you enlarge on that a bit more?

40:11 Well, I can with the help of the rest of Scripture. And I would suggest that this constitution of God, which is the ground of the wife's submission, breaks down into three specifics. First of all, the creative, the punitive decree, and the redemptive pattern. Now, some of those words are a little big, some of you fellas and girls, but that's all right.

40:32 I'll explain. First of all, it's the creative order. The account of creation in Genesis 2 clearly indicates that the man was made to lead and to rule, and the wife was made and helped answering to his needs. Look at the account of creation in Genesis chapter 2.

40:52 Genesis 1 is the chapter of the general description showing that both are equally made in the image of God.

41:01 Genesis 2 gives us details to show the different functional relationships between a man and a woman. We read in Genesis 2, 18, and the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make and help meet, that is, answering to his needs. There's the man made in God's image, given a mandate, to dress the garden, to keep it, to name the various beasts.

41:31 But God says, though I have made the man perfect, I have not made him complete in himself. Adam wasn't sitting around somewhere scratching his head saying, you know, something's wrong with me. I've got some hang-ups. I wonder what in the world I need.

41:45 Oh, I know what I need. I need me a wife. No, no, no, no. It was God who said, Adam, we're not complete without your ease.

41:53 It was God who said, it's not good that the man should be alone. God said, I will make someone to answer to his needs. And then you know the beautiful story how God put Adam to sleep with someone who said the first case of anesthesia and he took one of his ribs and out of that rib he formed a woman and brought her to the man and he sees in that woman the answer to his needs and says, this is woman because she was taken out of man and he pleads to his wife and the two become one flesh. Now, Paul picks up that very order of creation in 1 Corinthians 11, 7 and says, the woman was made for the man and not the man for the woman.

42:36 As one has beautifully said, the tendency to follow was embedded in Eve's very soul as she came forth from the hand of her creator. Oh, dear women, you young girls, listen to me. The tendency to follow, to feel safe, to feel secure, to feel that you fit under the positive, loving, firm direction, of a godly husband has been embedded in your very soul from the moment of your creation as a woman. And there's only one reason why every woman does not instinctively delight in the thought of being submissive to her God-given man and that's the intrusion of sin into the human race.

43:18 That's the only reason. As natural as it is for a bird to feel at home when its wings splish full of water, so it would have been had sin never entered. A woman would, if she could feel blessed liberty in her place of submission, she would feel it to be a cursed form of bondage for anyone to impose upon her any other rule. It is in this sense that Peter says in 1 Peter 3, husbands give honor to your wives as the weaker vessel.

43:53 He says, honor her as the weaker vessel. Don't oppress her. Don't subjugate her as though she were a slave or demean her. But it is her honor.

44:01 It is the ground of the honor you give to her. It is the ground of the honor you give to her. She was not made with the same strength of leadership and direction. And when a man takes advantage of that weakness, that's an evidence of sin.

44:16 Whereas in Adam, it brought forth those gracious elements of tenderness and consideration. Why are you to be submissive to your husbands? The constitution of God. Upon what does that rest?

44:29 Number one, the creative order. But it rests upon something else. Turn to Genesis chapter 3. It rests upon the punitive decree.

44:38 And that which is punitive is punishment. When you got a spanking as a kid, whether you knew it or not, that was an expression of punitive action on the part of your parents. It was punishment. Now notice, Genesis 3.9, the account of God's dealings with fallen man and woman. And God gets them to own up to their sin. And one of the things he says as a result of this sin, verse 16, and unto the woman he said, Why, by pain in thy conception, in pain thou shalt bring forth children, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Now I don't understand all that means.

45:21 And this passage is open to various interpretations. Time will not permit me to go into them in detail. Suffice it to say that the relationship of submission of a woman to a man has been intensified because of woman's place in the fall. Eve was in a place of salvation when she was seduced by the tempter.

45:42 And instead of leaving, following Adam, she left. And it says the woman gave the fruit to the man, and he did eat and their eyes were opened. Now some would say, Well, in Christ Jesus isn't that done away with? No, because 1 Timothy 2.14, Paul says, I suffer not a woman to teach. Why? The creative order. The man was first formed, and Eve was utterly beguiled in the transgression.

46:14 So that nothing in redemption cancels out this place of submission assigned to the woman, not only by the creative order, but in some sense intensified by the punitive decree. And then thirdly, the ground of that submission, the constitution of God, rests upon the redemptive pattern, verses 23 and 24. As the church is subject to Christ, so is the wife. So let the wives be to their husbands.

46:43 Here are the two relationships, the church, Christ, the wife, the husband. Now, what is the relationship between Christ and the church? The church and Christ. Well, Paul says, the relationship of the church, the true people of God, is one of loving, trustful, pervasive submission to the head and bridegroom, Jesus Christ.

47:08 Now, Paul had no idea that anyone was a true member of the true church who was not subject to Christ. The reality that forms the basis of this comparison is, as the church ought to be, but as the church is subject to Christ. And this whole idea that a person be a Christian and not submit to Christ is a contradiction of this passage. You see, you want a powerful passage from which to preach the necessity of submission of faith and faith.

47:43 Here it is. If you're in the church, that is, in the body of Christ, joined to Christ in living faith, indwelt by the Spirit, you are in Christ as one subject to Christ. Now, as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands and everything. You see what happens, women, if you're not subject to Christ?

48:07 You utterly misrepresent the most sacred relationship in all of earth that is the mystery of the relationship of the persons within the Godhead, the relationship within the one God, the Father, Son and Spirit. There is no greater mystery than that mystery of the relationship of Christ to his people and his people to Christ. That's why when Paul is done with this, he says, this is a great mystery. We're dealing in matters that are profound and transcend the power of human understanding either to discover or fully to comprehend.

48:42 But oh, I happen to be reading in this passage how a man can be more scientific or more devout in the realm of the universe than Jesus Christ. Good morning. I'm going to be giving you just a quick look at this subject that or the saving head of the church. Paul says Christ is head of the church and savior of the body.

49:21 Why does he rule over his people? Oh, listen! In order to impart his grace to them, he rules over them for their good and well-being.

The Extent of Submission: 'In Everything'

49:33 And so a godly husband takes his place of headship not for selfish ends, but for the good and the well-being of his wife. All right? Having looked then at the nature of the submission, the ground of the submission, we come now as we draw our study to a focal point. What is the extent of this submission?

49:54 Look at the scripture. As the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in every area where it's convenient.

50:05 Is that what your Bible says? You look at your Bible. Is that what it says? Don't you let the preacher just quote verses without checking on them.

50:13 Let the wives be to their husbands, verse 24, in every area where it's convenient. In every area where they think they maybe aren't quite as smart as their husbands. No, no, that isn't what it says. It says, let the wives be to their husbands in everything.

50:32 Not just in the department you deem best, but in the totality of your relationship. Now, this is not me, unlike the man who said, well, in our home, I decide the big issues and my wife decides the little issues. I decide whether or not red china should be admitted to the UN. I decide whether or not I decide whether we ought to continue to side with Israel in the Mideast crisis.

50:53 I make decisions about whether or not the president ought to be impeached. I make the big decisions in our family. My wife makes the little ones. What car we should buy, where we should live, what college our kids should go to.

51:06 Now, you see what this poor man was saying is, I'm allowed to make all the theoretical decisions that don't impinge upon our actual life.

51:15 Now, Paul says, let the wives be to their husbands in every area in the totality of life. Why? The church is subject to Christ in how many departments? If it's the true church?

51:29 And this is the tragedy. It's hard to assume this parallel anymore. The submission of the church to Christ pervades the entire life of the church. The church is submitted to Christ in terms of what she confesses, her doctrine, how she walks, her practice, how she conducts her business, how she reaches the world in her message and method.

51:50 The word, Christ is supreme in everything. So let the wives be submissive to their husbands in everything. Now again, does that mean that the husband does not discuss things with his wife? No, that would cancel out the concept that she's an image-bearer of God.

52:10 I thank God that God gave to my wife not only a pretty face, but he put some grave matter between her ears.

52:18 Many times she helps me to make the intelligent decisions as the head of the home that I must make. I thank God that God gave me to consult with her. I ask her advice. I ask her opinions.

52:27 And then when the decision is made, if the decision I have made is the administrative head, and my wife gladly submits to that decision, even in areas where after full discussion she may have to say, well, dear, I don't feel you're right in this, but I will submit because God tells me I must. And then she willingly submits. You see, when a woman catches hold of this principle, then she does not submit at the whims of her own ideas, of whether this particular decision or that one is worthy of her submission. She hears the word of God's lines be subject in everything.

53:07 And the only qualification to that is where a husband would demand something of a wife that would mean a clear violation of a clear precept of God. Then a woman will have to say, I must obey God rather than man. If a husband demanded of a wife that she join him in a scheme of dishonesty, in thievery, she would have to say, I cannot for Christ's sake obey you. But how many of you have ever been called upon for any act of obedience of that nature?

53:39 Very few, if any. For life is not made up of those large critical things. It's made up of the many little things. And so God says the extent of your submission is to be in everything.

The Climate of Submission: Godly Reverence

53:50 And then the fourth thing about the nature of this submission, what is the climate of it? Look at verse 33. Nevertheless do ye severly love each one his own wife, even as himself, and let the wife see that she reverence her husband. The climate of this submission is godly fear.

54:08 What a strange thing on our ears in this day. This is why I think it's a tragedy when Christians enter into this kind of silly banter that goes on about husbands and wives and somebody putting something over. This is one reason, among others, why we don't allow our children to watch the Flintstones. Oh, you say, Mr. Martin, you're kidding.

54:28 That's the most innocent little thing You think that cartoon is innocent? It's not innocent. Because those two wives are always trying to put things over on Fred and his buddy. The whole structural theme is again and again the wives are fooling the husbands, even some of the old so-called innocent I Love Lucy programs back from the 50s.

54:51 It's Lucy and her companion always putting something over on Desi and Fred. And the man on the other hand putting something over on the wives. You see the subtle implication of that whole structure? It's giving the idea, you see, of one marriage partner pitted against the other.

55:09 You catch nothing of this climate. A wife who references her husband as the man whom Almighty God has placed over her. God says, Wives, you're to reverence your husband. You say, there ain't nothing about him to draw forth my reverence.

55:29 It has nothing to do. It has nothing to do what's in him. It has to do with the God who's placed him over you. God says, honor the king.

55:41 Fear the king. It has nothing to do with the king's character. It has to do with the fact that the Lord is king. He putteth up one and setteth down another.

55:50 It has to do with the office. And in that sense, the husband is given that office of administrative headship and you are to reverence him not because of the presence or absence of that which in his character elicits your reverence, but because Almighty God has placed him there and you're to regard him in that light. You will not speak disrespectfully to him nor about him behind his back to your coffee class friends or to your children. You will not openly challenge his authority before the children.

Exhortations and Practical Applications

56:29 You will make it evident that you reverence your husband. I close tonight with some very simple exhortations based upon this brief, all too brief exposition of the role of a wife in the life of Paul's words. Can you see, dear women, that it's absolute wickedness for you to refuse your place of subjection? Regardless of the bad example a husband may be and all of his weaknesses, and we'll speak to the husbands tomorrow, men, it is absolute wickedness for you not to be submissive.

57:03 And the lack of being submissive to domestic stability in our own nation is in great measure due to the fact that women have long since lost the glory of their publicly assigned position. We talk about witnessing. I'll tell you what witness is in our generation. You see a home where a woman lovingly submits to her husband, and that is right in the midst of darkness.

57:24 That's salt in the midst of putrefaction. Why are so many girls having problems adjusting to their role as wives? Because they didn't see an example in their own homes which they could pattern themselves at. For these things are more caught than taught.

57:41 In the second place, do you see the impossibility of having biblical conduct without biblical theology? This whole passage is shot through with some of the most profound theology. Christ and the Church, the Church and Christ. You can't have biblical practice without biblical theology.

57:56 And people say, Oh, I don't want doctrine! My friend, you give up doctrine, you give up life. For doctrine is the soil out of which true living flows. And your life is simply an extension into practice.

58:09 of what you really believe. And last of all, do you see the desperate need of being born of the Holy Spirit and filled with the Spirit? Paul says, Be filled with the Spirit, speaking one to another with psalms and hymns, singing, making melody, submitting yourselves. Oh, my friend, you don't need the Holy Ghost to make you have experiences that make you walk the ceiling and leave your experience behind as a witness.

58:35 You need the Holy Ghost to subdue that spirit of rebellion that your husband makes known his mind and will for the family. And something in you says, I don't want to. You need the work of the Spirit to mortify that attitude and help you to say, Yes, dear. And inwardly to say, For Christ's sake, I will.

58:57 May the Lord be pleased to speak to you who are wise. And you young women, who one day will contemplate marriage, this is what you want to keep in mind. And I'm going to speak directly to you now. And forget all those folks out there.

59:09 If there are any of you out there that ought to be here, or some of you, put yourself right here while I look at this group, will you? You're part of it now. I see a few more of you. Listen.

59:16 When you find yourself getting all goo-goo-eyed and all flip-floppy and all gushy about some guy, no, this must be it. This is the real thing. When you get your feet down to the ground long enough to ask yourself a question, I want you to ask this one simple question. Is he the kind of man to whom I can submit myself and believe that that will be for my good?

59:40 And if he isn't, I don't care how smooth he can talk, I don't care if he's got shoulders six feet tall, I don't care if he's got shoulders six feet wide, I don't care if he looks like a combination of the most handsome man in the world, the most wealth, I don't care any of that stuff. Listen. If you can't submit yourself to him in the way we've described tonight, don't you marry him. It'll turn your life into a living hell.

59:59 If he's bald and bow-legged, but he's a man that you could submit to, believing it'll be for your good and God's glory, you marry him. He'll become handsome in your eyes after six months. You remember that, girls, will you? Because once you say, I do, you don't have a choice.

60:17 You're subject to that man for your good or your evil. Why is he subject? That's the question you want to ask. Not how intelligent is he, not how much money does he have, how many degrees, how handsome he is, none of that.

60:30 Those things have their proper place, but here's the great question. Can I scripturally submit to him, believing he'll be to me a husband after the pattern of the word of God? And you fellows, in your period of courtship, you ask this question. She says, is she the kind of girl who evidences her desire to be that kind of wife?

60:51 If she doesn't, you'd better run from her like the plague itself. Because I don't care how pretty she is, she'll become as ugly as a witch in your eyes in less than six months. And as one who has to deal in pastoral counseling with couples, I'm not overstating the case one bit. Oh, may God help us to hear his word and to lay it to heart for his glory and for our good.

61:19 Perhaps, brother, it would be well if I had gone on perhaps a bit longer than I should, but should I just close in prayer? Do you want to come with the closing hymn? Yes, all right. Let's go to God in prayer together, shall we?