Commands, Promises, and Warnings

Introduction: Preaching to Children on Honoring and Obeying Parents

0:06 The following sermon was delivered on Sunday morning, March 2nd, 2003, at Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey. Those of you who come to this place regularly will know that several months ago, I announced that the subject matter of my preaching for the immediate future would follow the pattern of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians. In that letter, the Apostle takes up one pastoral concern after another, with very little, if any, logical connection between the various concerns. Beginning in chapter 7, he does so by introducing those concerns with the words, Now concerning, and then he deals with the issues that were concerns to the church at Corinth. And I said that I would...

1:05 I would give to this series of sermons that generic title, Now Concerning. And looking back, I said in a very real sense, that's what I had been doing for some months previous. Now Concerning, the second generation. Now Concerning, the stewardship of our bodies in four adult Bible classes.

1:27 Now Concerning, the use of our tongues. And recently, four sermons, Now Concerning. Now Concerning, the use of our tongues. Well, today, I want to speak to you both this morning and again this evening, now concerning honoring and obeying your parents.

1:50 Most of the time when I'm preaching in this place, I'm consciously directing my preaching and my teaching to the adults with an occasional special reference, illustration, or application to the children. And it's right that it should be that way. That's the pattern in the apostolic epistles. They did not carry on a continuous child's Bible class in their writings or in their preaching.

2:19 However, this morning, I want to reverse that. I want to preach directly and explicitly to you children and to you young people with only an occasional reference to the parents. You will be in the crosshairs of my preaching this morning. Now, you know what I mean when I say crosshairs. If you have an uncle or a father or a friend who goes hunting and he has a good deer rifle with a scope, and when he goes out and he gets his deer in his scope, what he wants to do is to find that place just behind the shoulder and down a little bit where he can bring the deer down with one shot, and the way he does that, if his rifle is properly adjusted with its scope, is to see that the vertical and horizontal lines in his scope are fixed right on that spot of the deer's shoulder where he wants the bullet to go.

3:19 He brings it into the crosshairs. Well, you children are in my crosshairs this morning. I'm preaching to you children and to you young people. Now, your folks can listen in, your parents and us older folks.

3:35 Listen in and hope learn something, but you are not the explicit focus of my burden. And this subject has been much upon my heart in recent weeks and months, but it was our prayer meeting this past Wednesday which precipitated my determination to address it ASAP, that is, as soon as possible, and this Lord's Day morning was that very occasion. What was the matter? What was the matter of the prayer meeting that precipitated my determination to address it?

The Tragic List of Unconverted Adult Children and the Root Cause

4:10 It was the fact that the bulk of our prayer meeting was taken up with praying for adult children of members of this congregation who are still unconverted. Adult children who have been nurtured under the godly instruction of their parents. Adult children who have sat in Sunday school classes. Throughout all the years of their development and maturation, as many as you children are doing right now.

4:42 Adult children who have sat under preaching that has been, with all of its limitations and faults, biblical preaching, earnest preaching, clear preaching, passionate preaching, preaching that has pleaded with those who sit under it to be reconciled to God. Preaching that has not been a take-it-or-leave-it ministry. And yet, and yet, the list of those young men and women still unconverted is tragically long. Tragically long.

5:17 And my deep passion is that you children sitting here today will not be part of that list five or ten years from now. But that by the grace of God, you will be part of a list of those. And thank God it is growing among us even now of young men and women who, having been nurtured in Christian homes, instructed in their general education in a thorough biblical perspective and context, who have sat under biblical preaching, who are now declaring themselves to belong to Christ and daring to say, I am His and He is mine and I want to follow Him. And I want to follow Him as His obedient disciple. Now as we take up this subject, I do so because it is my deep persuasion that if we could find one primary reason as to why the list of unconverted young adults is as long as it is, I believe this is the reason. You unconverted young adults sitting here today, You unconverted young adults sitting here today, The primary reason you are where you are spiritually is right here.

6:39 You have failed to obey your mother and your father. That's it. You have refused to obey your mother and your father. And I am convinced if by the grace of God that list is to shrink in days to come, it will be because some of you sitting here today determined by the grace of God that you will obey your mother and your father.

Sermon Outline: Commands, Promises, and Warnings

7:14 So this morning I want to address you children under three simple headings. Number one, the clear commands. Secondly, the encouraging promises. Thirdly, the terrifying warnings.

7:29 And then tonight, more briefly, and I think it may have to break up into two messages, I want to give some practical observations and exhortations based upon the passages that we studied this morning. So we begin then with the clear commands. And we're going to look at one New Testament command and one Old Testament command. First of all then, the clear command of God with respect to obeying parents.

The Clear Command from Ephesians 6: Obey and Honor

8:01 Turn to Ephesians chapter 6 if you will please. Ephesians chapter 6. The Apostle Paul has been dealing with various matters relative to the will of God for family members. He has addressed wives and husbands at the end of chapter 5.

8:22 And now in the beginning of chapter 6 in Ephesians he writes, Children, obey your parents in the Lord. For this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. Here is a clear command from God.

8:50 Put yourself back in the setting there at Ephesus, way back in the first century. And you're a child. And you've been sitting in the car. You've been sitting in the congregation.

9:02 And one of the elders or one of the leaders has stood up and said, We have a letter from the Apostle. And remember they loved the Apostle. He had labored among them for three plus years. And then the elder or the reader appointed by the elders begins to read this letter that we know as the book of Ephesians.

9:22 Now can you imagine the children trying to hang in there all the way from Ephesians 1, 2, 3. All the way from Ephesians 1, 2, 3. All the way from Ephesians 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. Can you imagine the children trying to grasp, Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in the heavenly places in Christ, according as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blemish before him, in love having predestinated us unto the adoption of sons by Jesus Christ unto himself, according to the good plan.

10:01 I mean, they would take some real disciplined kids to sit and hang in there and listening to this marvelous eulogy of Trinitarian salvation. And then he moves into that mind-blowing prayer. He says, When I have heard of your faith and your love, I began to pray for you that you would be given the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him, the eyes of your heart being enlightened, that you may know what is the hope of his calling, what is the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of his power. Do you want me to quote any more?

10:39 And then the poor kid, after getting his breath, says, And you has he made alive who were dead through your trespasses and sins, wherein you walked according. Chapter 2, then chapter 3, then chapter 4. Can you imagine some kid really determined, sit up straight, take lots of fresh air into his lungs, say, I'm going to hang in there and listen. Concept after concept going clean over the head of the kid.

11:05 And then the elder or the appointed reader pauses and says, Children. Can you imagine the effect? Children. Now the kids who, you know, one eye began to droop and they've been hanging in there.

11:24 Children. Hey, the apostle got something to say to us. I'm a child. He's going to speak to me.

11:32 I wonder if he's going to speak in words. I can grasp. I wonder if he's going to speak to me in language that's more in my sphere of understanding. Well, he does.

11:43 And this is what he says. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and your mother. When the children perk up their ears and lean forward and seek to understand what God is saying through the apostle to them, it's reduced to two very simple commands.

12:15 And those commands come as what we call presence imperatives. That is, they are commands, not suggestions. They are commands that are to be obeyed immediately. They are commands that are to be obeyed constantly.

12:34 Now, you don't need to be a Ph.D. candidate to grasp that. Obey, that is, do what you're told to do.

12:46 Do it now and do it continually. Children, obey your parents in the Lord. And then a second imperative, honor your father and your mother. Nothing complicated.

13:03 Any kid sitting there half awake would know the will of God for him as a child, as a minor. Children, obey your parents. Children, honor your father and your mother. Now, let's pause for a little bit and try to understand, when he said children, what age was he including?

13:31 Well, he doesn't give us that. Well, he doesn't give us any specific age. And the word itself does not allow us to put any specific age brackets on it. But this much is clear from verse 4.

13:46 And you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them, bring them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord. They are children whom Paul envisions as still under the direct nurture of their fathers and mothers, a nurture involving chastening and admonition. Therefore, they are not adult children who may happen to be living under the roof. While the fifth commandment, honor thy father and thy mother, extends far beyond a person becoming an adult, and there are many passages that demonstrate it, in this context, what the Apostle Paul is doing is addressing what we would say are minor children. Children who are still under the nurturing of their fathers, a nurturing involving chastening and admonition. Such children as are sitting here this morning, minor children and young people, still under the direct nurturing, providing, instructing influence of your parents.

15:14 And to such children, this is God's word. Obey your parents in the Lord. Now this word, obey, is a different word from the one Paul used, and any kid would have recognized it. When he told wives to be in submission to their husbands.

15:35 That word means a conscious, intelligent ranging of yourself under one who has God appointed authority over you. This word means simply listen to what they're telling you to do, and do it. It's the word used for slaves. Same word used for children.

15:58 Not the word used for wives. Though both are in the family of words that speak of submission. The very word Paul used for the wives. The kids would have heard the difference in their understanding of the Greek language.

16:13 And they would have understood when they heard the word children. And their ears are perked up. Obey. That is, listen to what your mama and your daddy tell you with an intention to do it.

16:27 No questions asked. That's what they would have understood by the word that the apostle used. Children, obey. Now he qualifies that obedience.

16:40 Look at it in your Bibles. Two things qualify that obedience. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. The reference or the limits of that obedience, are the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ.

17:07 It is Christ who stands over your mother and your father. And in so far as they pass on to you those commands and those directives that do not contradict the will of Christ in Scripture, you are to obey them. Children, obey your parents in the Lord. That is, with reference to the Lord's authority.

17:37 With reference to the Lord's will. For example, if a parent ever told one of you children to steal, you are not to obey that parent. If a parent ever tells you to lie, you are not to obey that parent. And hear me.

17:55 If a parent, father or mother, should ever seek to talk you into any kind of sexual relationship or activity with them, you are not to obey them. Oh, Pastor, that would never happen in this place. Get real. Get real!

18:22 These are the limits, children. Obey them in the Lord. That sets the framework of the obedience. It is to be with reference to the Lord's authority.

18:33 If they ever demanded to do something that contradicts the Lord's word, you are to disobey them with noble resistance. But then notice, the second thing is the reason you're to do this. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for, I'm going to give you now, Paul says, a deep, very involved explanation as to why you're to do what your mom and dad do. Do you want to hear it?

19:06 This is right! Why are you going to do it? It's right! That is, it is morally correct.

19:17 Because God has determined it. The God who made you. The God who designed the family. The God who ordained that mothers and fathers should have His authority conferred upon them in the ordering and the governing of the family.

19:32 Obey them, for this is right. It doesn't say obey them because they are smarter than you. Obey them because they are stronger than you and they can take you to the woodshed if you don't. It says you do this because it's right.

19:46 That's all. That's all you need to know. When your mother and your father give you commandments that don't contradict the Lord's commandments, you're to obey them for one simple reason. This is right.

20:02 And anything else is dead wrong. You got it? When your mother and father say, I don't want this kind of literature in the home, you don't need to know any other reason than that it's right to do what they say. And when they say, I don't want this kind of music in the home, they have the responsibility under God to filter what kind of music comes in the home and you're to obey them because it's right.

20:37 And if you don't, you are dead wrong every single time.

20:43 Children, obey your parents. Here's the qualifying in the Lord with reference to the Lord's authority, with reference to the Lord's will as revealed in the Scriptures. And what's the rationale? For the simple reason that this is right.

21:04 Now, of course, the assumption of the Apostle Paul is that these are Christian parents because he goes on as well as has preceded in general directions to the adults. And he assumes that these parents have experienced God's great salvation in Christ described in chapter 1 and in chapter 2. That they are seeking, according to chapter 4, verse 17 and following, no longer to walk as the unconverted Gentiles walk. They are seeking to be filled with the Spirit.

21:37 Chapter 5 and verse 18. The assumption is that these parents are parents who are not only saved but who are filled with the Spirit, who are seeking under God to administer the rule and will of God in the sphere of the home entrusted to them. The assumption is that these parents are giving positive directions that can be obeyed. That they're not sitting around with family powwows trying to get a consensus.

22:11 All the nonsense. All the nonsense. They are prayerfully pouring over the scriptures. Mom and Dad talking, praying together and then lovingly sitting down with the family and say, this is what is done in this house in order to please and to honor God.

22:35 Now that's the first thing you've got to do, kids. You've got to obey it. Now and continually. The two qualifiers, reference to the Lord and because it's right.

22:48 Now let me ask you kids. You sit there and say, I don't know what the world pastor's talking about. Am I talking down to where you are? If I was in the chapel thing over there, I'd be down there on the floor getting right up in your face saying, come on, now you tell me.

23:02 You be the preacher. What does it say? What are you supposed to do? What's your Bible say?

23:06 Class, obey your parents. What are the two qualifiers? In the Lord and because it's right. Then there's the second thing you're supposed to do.

23:14 Right now and continually. Look at it. Honor your father and mother. Honor your father and your mother.

23:26 Now this word points to an attitude of the heart that counts your parents as valuable and worthy of respect and honor. The Hebrew concept of honor and this word has its roots in Old Testament honoring father and mother in the fifth commandment means weighty. You're to recognize in your parents the weight of their position. That weight which is given them by God himself.

24:03 God himself has made them weighty. In some ways they may have made themselves too weighty, but God has made them weighty with authority and with the dignity of their position. And you're to recognize that in your heart so that you do not look upon them in your heart with a spirit of despising them, resenting them, but you look upon them with honor. You're to do that right now and you're to do that continually.

The Clear Command from Proverbs 1: Hear and Do Not Forsake

24:38 Now that's the first command. Clear as the noonday sun. Is it clear? Now I want to ask you kids.

24:47 Everyone 18 and under. Is it clear? Nod your nod. Is it clear?

24:55 Anyone say it's not clear, raise your hand. So if you don't do it, it's because you're raising your fist to Almighty God and saying, God, I don't care what you say. Gotcha. You said it's clear.

25:20 Nobody raised his hand saying it's not clear. That's what God says you to do. Now I want to look at one Old Testament command. It has a lovely, differing nuance.

25:34 But it's a clear command. And that's way back in the book of Proverbs, chapter 1. Now remember you adults, I'm preaching to the kids. So if you're getting a little irritated that I'm repeating myself too much, you preach to kids for a while and learn to do it better than me and then come back and be my teacher, all right?

25:53 You hang in there. You're just listening. I'm preaching to the kids this morning. Proverbs chapter 1, verse 7.

26:03 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but the foolish despise wisdom and instruction. Here's our text. My son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother. Now who is addressed in this passage?

26:28 Solomon is speaking to his son. And if you read particularly the first nine chapters of Proverbs, you realize in certain places he's speaking to his literal son. In other situations, he's speaking in a broader sense of anyone who comes under his influence as a teacher. But in this particular passage, I'm assuming that the greater includes the lesser.

26:53 That is, it certainly does include that natural position of teaching and authority given to the literal parents. And so here's a father addressing his son. And notice the two commands that he gives. Number one, hear the instruction of your father.

27:15 He is to hear the instruction of his father. Now the word hear means to listen with a view to receiving and obeying. It doesn't simply mean you're prepared to let the sound waves come into the outer vestibule of the ear and vibrate by the auditory nerve and register on the brain and forget it. Remember again and again Jesus said, He who has ears to hear, let him hear.

27:47 That is, let him listen with a view to embracing and understanding and obeying what I'm saying. And this is what he says to his son. My son, listen to and receive with a view to obeying what? The instruction of your father.

28:09 This word instruction in the Hebrew and in the other family of words that go with it and its similar family of words in the Greek is that broad word for every form of parental training including discipline. And he's saying hear, receive, internalize all of that instruction given to you by your father. Now the assumption again is, the father is giving biblical instruction. You read that explicitly in chapter 4.

28:44 I give you good instruction. I give you sound knowledge. Deuteronomy chapter 6. You will speak of my words to your children when you walk, when you rise up, when you sit down, when you are in the way.

28:57 Here is the picture of the father who is passing on this broad scope of instruction to his son. And the word of God is, son, daughter, hear, hear. Reach out with eagerness to receive and understand and grasp and do what your father tells you. And then secondly, second imperative, second command is, do not forsake the law of your mother.

29:34 Do not leave as something unworthy of your consideration. Do not walk away from, do not forsake the law, the Torah of your mother. This is more limited in scope. This is the divinely inspired, authoritative instruction of God.

29:57 That's what Torah is. That is divine law. And the writer of Proverbs says, my son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the Torah, the law of your mother. The command to the son and to children assumes that the father and the mother are agreed in the instruction that they are giving.

30:27 It assumes that not only are they agreed in the instruction of it, what the instruction should be, but in the administration of it. Both are proactive. I speak now to you parents. Both are hands on in giving instruction and law to the child.

30:49 And what are you kids to do with that? You're to hear the instruction of your father. You are not to forsake the law of your mother. So, children, the commands of God are very simple and very clear.

God's Categorization of Disobedient Children: Gross Sinners

31:06 Obey, and honor your parents. Hear, and don't forsake the instruction and the law of your father and your mother. Now, I want you to listen to me very carefully. If you do not do what these two commands tell you, and you willfully, deliberately disobey your parents, God puts you in a very unslattering, horrible category of people in two verses in the New Testament.

31:45 You want to know what God thinks about children who do not obey and honor their parents, who do not hear and who do not retain the instruction and law of their fathers and mothers? You know what God thinks about it? You want to know what category God puts it in? You think He puts it in the category of, oh well, kids growing up have got to have their, you know, their period when they heal their own identity and they've got to go through a rebellion.

32:14 No, no, no, no, no. First of all, God says that when you disobey your parents, it puts you in the horrible company of the grossest sins of the Gentiles. Turn to Romans chapter 1. When disobedience to your parents becomes a pattern of life, we're not talking about a single act of disobedience.

32:38 Concerning which you are smitten in your conscience and you ask God's forgiveness and you ask mom and dad's forgiveness. But when you are weighing whether or not you're going to take these commands seriously and that they are going to shape and mold your life or whether you're going to be shaped and molded by the spirit of rebellion against parental instruction, here in Romans chapter 1, Paul is describing the judgment of God on people who turn away from the light of creation and nature and all of the sins into which they fall when God gives them over to the horrible lust of their heart. And you know what some of those sordid sins are in this chapter. But then we come in verse 28 to these words, Romans 1.28 And as they refused to have God in their knowledge, God gave them up to a reprobate mind to do those things which are not fitting, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malignity, whisperers, back biters, hateful to God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil things.

34:03 And look what is nestled in the midst of it. Disobedient to parents. See what God thinks about this sin? This sin puts you in the company of the envious, the murderous, deceivers, those filled with bitter hatred in their hearts, back biters, insolent, haughty, that's the company into which you put yourself when you take the course of disobeying your parents.

34:42 That's what God thinks about you kids. You say, I don't care what Ephesians 6 says, children, obey and honor. I don't care what Proverbs 1 says, hear and forsake not. I want to do what I want to do. God says, alright, then I'll put you in the category where you wouldn't want to be found and that's where I put you. The second verse shows that when disobedience to parents becomes a pattern of your life, you're put in the horrible company of the abandonment to sin which marks the worst periods between the first and second coming of the Lord Jesus, called the last days. 2 Timothy chapter 3 verse 1 Know this, that in the last days grievous times will come. Between the first and second coming of the Lord Jesus, Paul says, there will be epochs

35:43 when there will be a heightened expression of sin that works its way like a horrible poisonous fog through whole societies. In the last days, grievous times shall come. And then he's going to describe what those times are like. Men shall be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, haughty, railers. Now notice the next one, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, unbreakable, slanderous, without self-control, fierce, etc. Nestled right in the middle of all those grievous sins. Disobedient to parents. You dear children, you need to face the fact that it's serious business to treat lightly God's clear commands to obey your parents, to honor them, to hear the instruction of your fathers, and forsake not the law of your mothers. So that's

The Encouraging Promises: Blessed and Long Life, Honor and Beauty

36:55 the clear commands. Couldn't be clearer. Now we come secondly, and more briefly, to the encouraging promises. The encouraging promises. In giving these commands, God wants you kids to know that you will not be the losers by obeying them. You see, the devil's lie to our first parents was, this is what God told you to do. Don't eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Now God told you to stay clear of that tree because this is what God told you, it wouldn't be for your good.

37:32 In the day you eat, you'll die. Isn't that right? Eat. Didn't God tell you it's in your best interest not to take of that tree?

37:40 Yes. He said, I got the inside track. God isn't squaring with you. God's not leveling with you.

37:48 God gave you that command because God wants to keep your style cramped. He wants to keep you in the box. He wants to head you up from true fulfillment. God knows, the devil said, to eat. In the day you eat, your eyes will be opened and you have knowledge that you don't yet have. You'll know good and evil. You'll be like God. You'll have a level of knowledge that puts you closer to God-ness.

38:17 Don't believe that God's command is for your good. God's command is for your evil. God's command is meant to cramp you. God's command is meant to constrict you.

38:31 Dear children, that's exactly the devil's lie when you hear these commands. Obey my parents? How in the world do I really find out what life is all about if I live within all of those directions they give me? See what God has done in both of these commands that we studied together. God has given wonderful encouragements to let you and me know. That in telling us to obey our parents, we're not going to be squeezed into a box that restricts us. But in that very way of obedience to our parents is the way of our greatest blessing. And God wants to entice you into obedience by giving you these encouraging promises. Let's look at them

39:23 briefly. Go back to Ephesians chapter 6. What are the promises given there? Ephesians chapter 6.

39:32 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother. Now notice what he says. Which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

39:51 Referring to the ten commandments, the apostle says, the first commandment with a very clear, explicit promise is the fifth commandment. Honor your father and your mother. Now the second and third commandments have what some have called a form of a promise, but they're really not a promise. They're simply statements of God's government. If you do this, this is what will come upon you. God will not hold him guiltless that takes his name in vain. In terms of pure promise, God waits to the fifth commandment. He gave those commandments concerning our relationship to him.

40:27 You shall have no other gods before you. No special promise. The command that we should worship that God only in the way appointed, no special promise. We are not to take his name in vain, no special promise.

40:41 We're to keep his day holy, no special promise. But when he comes to the fifth commandment, honor your father and your mother, he says to every Israelite child, look, look, I know this is not going to be easy. And I want to entice you and draw you into obedience. Honor your father and your mother that it may be well with you and that you may live long in the land.

41:07 And Paul gospelizes that promise. And look how it appears in Ephesians chapter six. Honor your father and your mother which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with you and that you may live long not in the land but on the earth. What is the promise?

41:29 The promise is that in the way of obedience to parents you'll have a blessed life and you'll have a long life. That's not an absolute promise. Some of the most godly children who were obedient to their parents died in their youth. But the general principle is for you to stand in your youth and think of the ordinary course of life seventy or eighty years if you want that to be a good and blessed life and a long life with the blessing of God and then eventually the long life of eternal life.

42:11 It is to be found in the way of obeying your parents of honoring your mother and your father. That's God's promise. He's saying to you kids when the devil comes to you like he came to Eve and he says no that command children obey your parents honor your father and your mother that's not the way of blessedness that's the way of restriction that's the way of keeping you tied up in yourself you won't find what life is all about what joy is all about what fun is all about you've got to bust the traces that mom and dad have put around you look the devil in the eye and say no! God says if I obey them I'll have the good life and I'll have the long life. God says that it may be well with you and that you may live long upon the earth and here I've got to tell a true story that has a little humor to it I'll try not to give away the name it'll be hard there sit among us today several of our brethren let's put it this way they're old enough to collect their social security alright and their age shows itself not so much

43:39 because they have a shiny top with no hair but they have a shock of real white hair now we've got some white haired men that aren't collecting social security yet I'm looking at two of them right here but these men are collecting their social security and there was an incident some months ago when these two men were together and one of our kids here in the church was interacting with them and said Mr. so and so and Mr. so and so you must have really been obedient to your parents you already know the punchline I don't need to tell you they saw from their white hair that they were living a long life and this little kid made the connection they must have really obeyed their mom and their daddy he believed the promise and he could see in these men the good life they're not sour bitter cynical selfish old men they are full of the vibrancy of youth because God's promise is true I'm collecting my social security and I'm not a sour bitter cynical old man I'm very much alive and I enjoy life

45:08 with all of its trials with all of its burdens I can say honestly in terms of this text life is good I wouldn't want to live here forever it's not heaven it's not home but it's the good life dear children that's God's promise to you you want the good life while you're a child embrace this command of God appended with its wonderful promise the good life the long life but then turn to Proverbs and see what the promise is there God is enticing us with another nuance of the promise listen hear the instruction of your father do not forsake the law of your mother for he's going to give him a reason it's as though the son says yeah dad why why should I hear your instruction and not forsake the law of mom the dad says I want to tell you son this is why they shall be a chaplet a garland of grace unto your head this is where the expositors got to go back

46:36 into the time and circumstances in which the text was given the picture of a guy having flowers on his head and a chain around his neck isn't very attractive but what he was doing he was showing what would have been understood in that culture a garland of flowers around the head would be given in some setting where honor was given to another and he's saying son you have the honorable life you will have in the eyes of people what a garland of flowers around the head is in the literal physical realm when you see a man walking down the street with a garland of flowers on his head you know somebody has put him in a place of honor and respect for something he's done and for something he is he says son you want the honorable life then you hear the instruction of your father do not forsake the law of your mother and what would the chains around the neck be well if you look in parallel references you find that when Joseph came to prime minister position in Egypt and he was outfitted with all of the accouterments with all of the symbols of his position one of them was gold chains around his neck same way with Daniel in Babylon Daniel chapter 5 what its significance was in Israel is hard to ascertain

48:04 but I think we can say with relative safety the gold chain around the neck was the symbol of beauty and again of some measure of honor and so what the writer of Proverbs is saying son listen to what your daddy tells you don't forsake what your mama tells you for this life will bring you true honor true dignity and true beauty and you know where that is most wonderfully exemplified in our blessed Lord Jesus we're going to open that up more fully God willing tonight but I want to reference it now remember in Luke chapter 2 12 years of age Jesus goes up to the feast in Jerusalem with his parents and he stays on after the feast is over and they're not aware thinking he's with some of his cousins etc and when they come back he says didn't you understand I had to be about the things of my father they didn't understand him they give him a mild rebuke you've caused us to be sorrowing why did you do this they didn't understand him there's an element of false accusation but what did Jesus do having come probably and

49:30 I hold that position myself at this point in my understanding at this point our Lord had come to a measure of settled consciousness of his identity as Messiah and he recognizes the call of God upon him as a 12 year old lad I am God's Messiah I must be about the things of my father and though his earthly parents did not understand him wrongly accused him of being insensitive to them what did he do the scripture says he went down to Nazareth and was subject unto them and he grew in wisdom and stature in favor with God and with men the holy son of God obeying and honoring Mary and Joseph with their limited understanding of who he was what he was called to do as he listened to the instruction of his earthly stepfather as he did not forsake the law of his mother he was given a garland about his head and a chain about his neck he grew in favor with God and with men children

The Terrifying Warnings: Death and Disgrace for Disobedience

50:56 the son of God has marked out the path he's marked out the path and that's the promise that he gives to you but then I must close this morning with the terrifying warnings we've looked at the clear commands the encouraging promises but now the terrifying warnings what is a terrifying thing that's the thing that gives you goose bumps the terrifying thing is the thing that when you think it's coming at you you want to hide under the table you want to jump up into your daddy's arms and I wrestled with the right words and I said yes these are terrifying warnings as you're sitting here this morning some of you are saying well it's clear what God commands and those promises certainly seem to be desirable but I'm not sure God says well let me tell you what'll happen if you're not enticed by the promises and you're not brought sweetly to submit to the commands let me give you some warnings as to what I think about parental disobedience to parental rule and government and what I'll do to those who disobey their parents if they don't repent and the very little comment I want you to look with me

52:25 as we leaf through our Bible at several passages particularly from the Mosaic law Exodus chapter 21 Exodus chapter 21 this law would have been made known to every child in Israel Exodus chapter 21 and verse 15 he that smites his father or his mother shall surely be put to death here's a kid gets angry at his mom or his dad and he's tempted to hit him if I hit him I'll be taken out and stoned to death why? because a child striking a parent is like striking God who places that parent over the child you'd think twice before you struck your mom or your daddy if you knew you'd be dead now look at verse 17 he that curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death dad gives a reasonable command because you have not settled the issue of obeying and honoring you go in your bedroom and under your breath

53:54 you utter your curse words directed to your dad you didn't know you left the door open and dad heard you dad could take you out to the elders of the city and you'd be stoned by sundown you got it kids? all you need to do is waggle your tongue in this heightened expression of disrespect and insubordination and God says you could be put to death oh but that's don't you judge God shame on you for you to say that's excessive harsh punishment almighty God is showing us upon parental authority what an affront it is upon his government to despise it by striking a parent or cursing a parent Leviticus chapter 20 verse 9 Leviticus chapter 20 and verse 9 everyone that curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death he that cursed his father or his mother his blood shall be upon him words cannot be more clear God repeats it in the book of Leviticus and then in Deuteronomy chapter 27

55:24 and verse 16 listen to these frightening words cursed be he that sets light by his father or mother and all the people shall say amen a curse of some kind or another is pronounced upon the one who sets light by his father or mother who treats with disrespect and disregard the authority and will and government of mother or father and you have that passage in Deuteronomy chapter 21 turn back just a couple of chapters verse 18 Deuteronomy 21 18 if a man have a stubborn and rebellious son that will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother and though they chasten him will not hearken unto them then shall his father and mother lay hold on him and bring him out to the elders of the city and unto the gate of his place and shall say to the elders of the city this our son is stubborn and rebellious he will not obey our voice he's a glutton and a drunkard and all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones so you'll put away the evil from the midst of you and all Israel shall hear and shall fear serious stuff kids Proverbs chapter 20 and verse 20 just two more quickly Proverbs 20 and verse 20 whoso curses his father or his mother his lamp shall be put

56:53 out in the blackness of darkness I've scoured my commentators I don't know what that means but it sure ain't something pleasant to have one's lamp put out in the blackness of darkness in a situation where you didn't have electric power and street lights and people say the darkness of that section of the world when there is darkness is a frightening horrible thing Jesus picks up on it again and again cast him into outer darkness there shall be the weeping and the gnashing of teeth maybe this is a spirit inspired preview of that horrible place of outer darkness I do not know but if I were a kid I'd say to myself whatever that means I don't want to find out and then perhaps the most frightening graphic imagery of God's attitude to those who despise the authority of their parents Proverbs 30 verse 17 the eye that mocks at his father the eye that mocks at his father father gives a command and you look up at him and you give him the eye business I say you don't need to open your mouth you can mock with your eyes and every one of you kids knows what that is you can mock with your eyes

58:19 well here we go again well I heard that before the eye that mocks at his father and despises to obey his mother the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagle shall eat it one of the greatest disgraces and judgments of God upon an Israelite is not to have decent burial you read about it in the prophets when God is saying your sin has reached such a height that when the invading nations come you will lie upon the ground and not be buried that's what God says you'll have a horrible and disgraceful death the very eye with which you mocked your father the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and I'm told that birds of prey when they find what looks like a corpse the first thing they'll do is pick the eye knowing if there's any life left there'll be a response and when there's none they feed on the eyeballs I tell you kids this ain't no laughing stuff I don't care how old you are if you're a child this is God's word to you the eye that mocks at his father and despises to obey his mother

Why Obedience is Hard: Carnal Mind and the Flesh

59:46 the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagles shall eat it failure to obey and honor father and mother is serious stuff in God's eyes rebellion is dishonorable not an innocent stage of growing up it is a manifestation of wickedness of the worst kind as God will send all impenitent idolaters to hell all murderers all adulterers all homosexuals so God will send all who are disobedient to their parents my final application is this you've heard the commands the encouraging promises the terrifying warnings I'm going to read a couple of questions some of you may be asking this question one why is it so hard to honor and obey my parents well in some cases it may be because your parents are not filled with the spirit not filled with the word and they are unpredictable ungodly temper tantrums they discipline you in carnal anger and I feel for any child that struggles with that that you must still

61:14 obey them and honor them but where that's not the case and you have a godly mom and a godly dad whose instruction and commands are rooted in the bible why is it so hard to obey them the answer to the bible is if you're not yet a Christian I'll give you your answer Romans 8-7 the carnal mind is enmity against God you've got a heart that is basically a clenched fist to God and because it's a clenched fist to God it's a clenched fist to God's authority in your parents and for some of you whose training and restraints have kept you from all kinds of sins the greatest proof to you that you're not yet a Christian is you cannot from the heart embrace with joy the authority of your parents and when you get converted that will be to you the greatest evidence that God has taken out your heart of stone and given you a heart of flesh you'll find delight in obeying your mother and your father but for some of you who are Christians you say it's still hard, why because of Galatians 5-17 the flesh lusts against the spirit the spirit against the flesh these two are contrary the one to the other you're experiencing the conflict of the Christian life there your father ask him is it easy all the time to love mom as Christ loved the church

Call to Repentance and Faith in Christ

62:42 and he'll say no there are times it's not easy why daddy because my flesh lusts against the spirit that I cannot do the things that I would and you dear children you're learning the reality of the Christian life it's conflict it's a conflict and then that leads to the question what must I do when I feel that conflict and I'm tempted to disobey remember the command remember the promises remember the warnings and then cry to God for grace and ask the Lord Jesus to help you by the power of his spirit to be an obedient son or daughter and what must I do if I've not obeyed and honored my parents the answer is you need to go to the one who perfectly obeyed his parents perfectly obeyed his father in all things so that he was the sinless lamb of God and went to a cross and there died under the wrath of God to pay the penalty of all the sins of his people including the sin of disobeying parents and you need to throw yourself upon the Lord Jesus and ask him to cleanse and purge you and forgive you and wash you and by his spirit make you an obedient son and obedient daughter well kids I've preached my heart out to you this morning

64:08 what you gonna do with what you heard God help you take time this afternoon to go over the commands I only gave you two Ephesians 6 Proverbs 1 the promises piggybacked right on the commands and then the threats you pray them in and ask God by his grace to make this the day when issues between you and God were dealt with in the matter of obeying your father and your mother let's pray our father we're thankful that we have your word as a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway and we ask that the Holy Spirit would seal that word to the hearts of these dear children and young men and women that by your grace there would not be the tragic end of a life of disobedience pray for us as parents and grandparents that you would help us to exert a more wholesome godly influence on our children and our grandchildren and all of the children around us in this place that we may encourage them to remember the promises given to those who obey their mothers and their fathers

65:36 help us to stir up one another to love into good works we ask you to seal now this word