Counsel, Advise, and Exhortations (b)

Introduction and Review of Previous Sermons

0:07 The following sermon was delivered on Sunday morning, March 16, 2003, at Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey. Now follow with me as I read two brief portions of the Word of God. The first from Ephesians, Paul's letter to the Ephesian church, and chapter 6, Ephesians chapter 6, verses 1 through 3. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

0:50 Honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. Then Proverbs 1, verses 8 and 9, Proverbs 1, verses 8 and 9. My son.

1:19 Hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother, for they shall be a garland of grace around your head, and chains around your neck. Let's again pray and ask, as we have in the language of this hymn, that the Holy Spirit will shine upon this book as we open it and study it together, and especially that you children will pray.

1:50 Sleeve with God, that he will speak to you clearly, powerfully, persuasively, that you may not be the same boy or girl at the end of this hour that you were when you came in. Let's pray. Our Father, we have read this morning in our reading in the book of Hebrews, that your word is a living word, sharper than any two-edged sword, able to cut into the very depths of our being,

2:26 and to lay bare to ourselves who and what we really are, as you fully and accurately know us. Lord, we would be bold to pray that you will make your word that sword in each of our hearts this morning. We pray that there will be no glancing blows, no surface blows. Lord, come and lay us bare by your truth.

2:56 And then give us. Lord, give us grace to run in the way of your commandments. Pray especially for each of the children and young people among us, that you will give them a heart that yearns to know, and by your grace to do what your holy book will set before them. Hear us, we plead, in Jesus' name.

3:21 Amen. Well, children and young people, once again this morning you are in the crosshairs, of my biblical gun. You remember the analogy I used two weeks ago. When the hunter goes out to bring down his game, and he has a scope, he seeks to bring the crosshairs, the horizontal and the vertical lines in his scope, onto that most vulnerable part of the animal he's seeking to shoot and bring home as his game.

3:58 And I have you, children and young people, particularly in the crosshairs of my biblical gun, not to kill you, not to harm you, but to help you. And by the ministry of the word of God, to point out to you the way of your highest interest, both in this life and in the life to come. Two Lord's days ago, I preached two sermons to you on the subject now concerning obeying and honoring your parents. And in the first message, I said before you, three things.

4:38 We looked at the clear commands concerning obeying and honoring your parents. Ephesians 6, 1 and 2a, and also Proverbs 1, verses 8 and 9. In the Ephesians passage, you are called to obey them within the limits or sphere of that obedience in the Lord, and the reason, because it is right. And then you are called upon to honor them.

5:07 To have in your heart a disposition that is the exact opposite of thinking light of them, despising them, resenting them. You are to obey them. You are to honor them. And in the Proverbs 1 passage, the clear command is to hear, listen, with a view to receiving and embracing the instruction of your fathers.

5:31 And you are not to despise or treat lightly the law, the Torah, the directive, the commandments of your mother. Then we looked at the encouraging promises concerning obeying and honoring our parents. In Ephesians 2b and 3, there is the promise of a good life and the promise of a long life. And in Proverbs 1, 9, the promise of a beautiful and honorable and an attractive life.

6:00 And then having looked at the clear commands and the encouraging promises, we then noted the terrifying, threats or consequences of those who will not honor and obey their parents. We noted that in Romans 1.30 and in 2 Timothy 3.2, disobedience to parents is placed in some of the most disgusting categories of sin found anywhere in the Bible.

6:27 It is a vile and a heinous sin in the sight of Almighty God. And in the Old Covenant, God mandated capital punishment for any child that thought he could get away with cursing his parents, striking his parents, or despising his parents. Three clear mandates that such a one in the company of Israel should be put to death. So heinous is this sin that in that period when God is teaching His people and teaching the men of all ages how He feels about issues in these very tangible ways,

7:13 God makes it plain that failure to obey and to honor one's parents is a horrible sin. And then in several passages that we looked at in Proverbs, God says that those who do not honor and obey their parents will be consigned to a life of darkness, to a shameful death, and to everlasting death. And then in the second message, I tried to set before you the first warning based upon the clear commands, the encouraging promises, and the terrifying threats. And my warning was this.

7:53 In the light of these commands, promises, and warnings, beware of being drawn in to the influence of the youth subcontinent and subcontinent. Beware of being drawn in to the youth subculture of our day. Beware of being drawn in to the youth subculture of our day. We defined what a subculture is.

8:18 It is a group within a culture that has its own distinct standards, goals, interests, its canons of behavior, and it sets it apart from the general society or culture within which the subculture is found. And I sought to demonstrate that today's youth culture has as its unwritten constitution that if you're going to be a part of that culture, the words that will characterize your relationship to your parents are the words rivalry, rebellion, and rejection.

8:59 If you're going to be part of today's youth subculture, you must not, in any way, be a part of that subculture. You must not be a part of that subculture. You must not, in any way, be found in unity, in a relationship of love and intimacy with your parents. It must be a us and a them relationship.

9:16 There must be rivalry. There must be rebellion, in contrast to submission, and rejection, in contrast to acceptance of their standards with respect to a whole gamut of what constitutes your life. And then I made this observation, that today's youth subculture is primarily, not exclusively, primarily defined and propagated by the music industry and its icons.

9:51 And that subculture is like a whirlpool. And it is seeking constantly to draw young people into the edges of the whirlpool, thinking, well, that's an innocent place to be. I don't want to be in the vortex. Where once you get into the center or the vortex of the whirlpool, you're sucked down and you're dragged out of sight.

10:15 Oh, I don't want to be there. But I can flirt with the outside swirl of the whirlpool. And my warning to you precious children and young people is beware. Beware of being drawn in even to the outer swirls of the whirlpool of today's youth subculture.

Exhortation 2: Beware of Eroding Affection for Godly Authority

10:38 So much for review. Now, this morning, I want to take up with you, as time permits, two more exhortations growing out of the clear commands, obey and honor your parents, hear and despise not the instruction and law of father and mother, the encouraging promises that point us in the direction of the good and the long life, The honorable, the beautiful, the commendable life. In the light of these things, I have this second exhortation to bring to you. In the light of the commands, the promises, and the warnings of the Word of God,

11:22 beware of any person or thing that erodes your affection for and your obedience to your godly parents, teachers, and pastors. Let me give it to you again.

11:41 In the light of the commands, the promises, and the threatenings of the Word of God, beware, children, beware, young people, of any person or thing that erodes your affection for and your obedience to your godly parents, teachers, and pastors. Now, I want you to put on your thinking caps, because you've got to think with me as I try to demonstrate something that is critical to this whole point, and it is this. It's an undeniable fact that when we love someone, to please him or her by doing what he or she wants us to do

12:26 is both our desire and our delight. Isn't that right, kids? When you love someone, you really love them. Your affections are attached to them.

12:37 It is your pleasure, it is your delight and your desire to do the things that please them, if you love them, if you love them.

12:50 Isn't this what Jesus takes for granted when he says in John chapter 14 and verse 15, very clearly expressing this principle with those who are attached to him in faith and in love. Listen to these words of our Lord Jesus, familiar to many. John chapter 14 and verse 15. If you love me, you will keep my commandments.

13:20 Jesus says, If your affections are set upon me and attached to me, it will be your desire and your delight to do what I tell you. If you love me, you will keep my commandments. Love to me will constrain you to do what I tell you. Verse 21.

13:42 He who has my commandments and keeps them, he it is that loves me. You see someone cherishing the commandments of Christ, seeking in the grace and strength of Christ to keep them, you can say, ah, there's a man, there's a woman, there's a boy, there's a girl who loves Jesus. Verse 24. He that loves me not, does not keep my words.

14:06 And the word which you hear is not mine, but the Father who sent me. When you find that, that person who hears the words of Jesus and says words of Jesus, who cares? That person may not go out in the street corner, lift up his fist to heaven and say, I don't believe in Jesus. I hate Jesus.

14:25 No. But where you find anyone who doesn't keep the words of Jesus, Jesus says you found someone who doesn't love me.

14:34 Very clear. The words are clear. He that loves me not, keeps not my words. If you're not keeping the words, the words of Jesus, very simple explanation, you don't love Jesus.

14:46 Oh, you say, I do love him. No, you don't. It's your word against his. I take his against yours.

14:52 Whatever gushy feelings you may have when you hear the old rugged cross played on a CD, whatever warm, fuzzy feelings you may feel when you see a crucifix, if you are not, as a matter of principle, keeping the commandments of Jesus, it's because you don't love Jesus. Jesus says that. He that loves me not, keeps not my words. It's an undeniable fact.

15:19 When we love someone, to please him or her by doing what he or she wants us to do is both our desire and our delight. So, now think with me, kids. If you want to undermine someone's obedience to someone they love, where do you start? You try to peck away at their love for that person.

15:44 If you can get their love for that person to erode, to shrivel, to diminish, then the desire and the delight to please them will shrink and will diminish. Right? You follow me? Now, you go right back to the Garden of Eden.

16:05 Isn't that the first thing the devil tried to do with Eve?

16:09 God had said in his love relationship to Adam and Eve, of all the trees of the garden you may freely eat, but of that tree which is in the midst of the garden, you shall not eat of it, for in the day that you eat thereof you'll die. In love I'm telling you, this is my command, don't eat of that tree. In my overflowing affection for you, manifested in everything that pertains to what I've given you, what I've made you, what I've put around you in this garden, in that. That love I tell you, don't touch, don't eat of that tree.

16:49 It is not in your best interest. The devil comes along and says, has God said? And he said, yes, God has said. Then what does the devil do?

16:58 He says, ha ha. God knows that in the day that you eat of it, you shall be as God's. In other words, you see what the devil is saying? God's command regarding that tree is not a command of love to you.

17:17 It's a command of wanting to squish you and keep you under his thumb. He doesn't want you to be like himself. He doesn't want you to attain a degree of knowledge. What was this doing?

17:30 It was seeking to pack away at Eve's confidence in God's affection for her, that he might shrivel her affections for God and cut the nerve of her obedience.

17:50 And Paul is warning, the Ephesian elders of what will happen when he leaves. He understands this with regard to pastoral relationships. Listen to what he said in Acts chapter 20 and verse 28. Take heed to all the flock, to shepherd the flock.

18:06 Verse 29, I know that after my departure, grievous wolves shall enter in among you, not sparing the flock. And from among your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things. Now notice, to do what? To draw away the devil.

18:22 To draw away the disciples after them.

18:27 See what he's telling them? He says, as long as the disciples are bound to you in godly spirit wrought affections, you will be able to exercise your responsibility to shepherd them. But beware, men will rise up from your ranks who will seek to sever the bond of affection. That they might take these disciples out from under the influence of your guidance and your oversight.

19:03 To draw away disciples after them. And that is exactly what happened with the Galatian churches. Paul writes to them in Galatians chapter 4, and I read from the NIV because it's helpful at this point in its more paraphrastic translation to capture what Paul is saying. He says in Galatians 4.14,

19:27 Even though my illness was a trial to you, you didn't treat me with contempt or scorn. Instead, you welcomed me as if I were an angel of God. Your affections were wide open to me. And because they were open to me, they were open to my message.

19:44 But when these Judaizers came along, they realized we can't get the message of Paul, unperturbed. First of all, sever the affections. Sever the affections of the people from the messenger. So what happened?

19:59 I read on. What has happened to all your joy? I can testify that if you could have done so, you would have torn out your eyes and given them to me. Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?

20:13 Those people are zealous to win you over, but for no good. What they want is to alienate you from us so that you may be zealous for them. You see the point? Paul recognized the Judaizers were going after this bond of love and affection between the Galatian churches and Paul, and they said we can't destroy the influence of his teaching until we sever the bond of affection.

20:45 You see that? Now then, if you were the devil, and you wanted to undermine the godly influence of your parents, your teachers, and your pastors, that three-fold influence with which God has surrounded you in order to prepare you for this life and the life to come, if you were the devil, how would you go about it? Exactly the way he goes about it. By seeking to erode your affection for your parents,

21:23 for your teachers, and for your pastors. Put emotional distance between you and the very ones, with which God has surrounded you, to prepare you for this life and for the life to come. Because he hates you. He's a murderer.

21:45 He is a liar. He wants to destroy you. He wants to damn you. And he knows as long as you are bound in affection to those that God has put around you to mold you and shape you, his work is frustrated.

22:04 So then, I am urging you, dear children and young people, I am warning you, I'm pleading with you, beware of any person or anything that erodes your affection and your obedience to your godly parents, teachers, and pastors.

Biblical Basis for Eroding Affection

22:29 Now let's go back to Proverbs 1 and see if this fits into Solomon's understanding of things. Proverbs 1. Proverbs 1. Verse 7 indicates that the parents, the father, is seeking to set before the child a view of all reality rooted in God's truth.

22:56 The fear of the Lord is the beginning, the chief part of knowledge. But the foolish despise wisdom and instruction. My son, now here's the command, hear the instruction of your father, do not forsake the law of your mother. Then the promise, verse 9, for they shall be a garland of grace around your head and chains about your neck.

23:26 Now, Solomon's going to give his first warning. He thinks of the influences that would seek to erode that child hearing the instruction of his father and not despising the law of his mother. And where does he go for his first warning? Look at verse 10.

23:49 My son, if sinners entice you, if sinners seek to seduce you, if they seek to draw you away from the law of your mother and the instruction of your father, if they say, if they seek to entice you, consent not, if they say, come with us. And that's the key to this whole passage. You've been with them. They are setting forth a way of life rooted in the fear of God.

24:24 They're telling you that everything in life is rooted in who God is and what God says and what God sets as standards of right and wrong and good and evil and truth and falsehood. And they say, no, no. We want you to come with us. Notice, the first appeal is not listen to us.

24:47 It's come with us. Make your primary identification with us and not with them. Come with us. Verse 14.

25:03 Cast your lot among us. We will all have one person.

25:09 This bunch of rogues knows that the only way that they can influence for evil, this, this young man or young woman who is exposed to the God-centered, Bible-based instruction of father and mother is to alienate that child from the affections of the parent or his or her affections toward the parents. And therefore, I'm saying to you kids, beware of anyone who would draw away your affections and your affectionate attachment to your parents that would make it

25:53 their delight to get you to obey them rather than your parents, your teachers, and your pastors. Well, that's the principle. Now I want to apply it.

Application 1: Assess Your Friends

26:08 And here's the first application. Use this warning to assess your friends as to whether or not they are truly friends.

26:21 Take this warning and use it to assess your friends. And use this warning and use this warning and use this warning and use it to assess your friends to tell if they are indeed friends. Ask yourself when you are with your voluntarily chosen friends. I'm not talking about the people with whom you are thrown into association against your will.

26:42 There are certain relationships that in the providence of God we have no choice about them. But I'm talking about those you choose to make your friends. Those you gravitate to here in the church. When church is over and you have your little groupings as we do and you gather together and you interact.

27:02 Ask yourself about your little group. Those that you gravitate to in school. Those you gravitate to in your block, in your neighborhood, wherever it is. And you can choose your friends.

27:14 Ask yourself this question. When I'm with my friends, does their influence confirm me in my love for them? Does their influence confirm me in my love for them? Does their influence confirm me in my love for my parents and in my determination to obey my parents, my teachers and my pastors?

27:33 Or does it erode my affection for my parents and my commitment to obey them? Ask yourself that. Now only you can ask that question. I can't ask it.

27:48 You've got to ask it.

27:51 At the end of the Lord's Day when I've been with, quote, my friends over here in the church, down in the foyer, over in the multipurpose, wherever it is, when you go home tonight, ask yourself, did my time with these friends leave me coming home with an increased love for my mom and dad, an increased appreciation for my pastors, an increased yearning to put myself under the influence of my teachers tomorrow?

28:24 Or has their influence put emotional distance between me and my parents? Between me and my mom and dad? Between me and my pastors?

28:34 Between me and my teachers?

28:38 If that's true, they're not your friends. They are the devil's tool to ruin you.

28:47 And you better wise up and face the fact that that's who they really are.

28:53 No one is your friend who would in any way cause you to be distanced from those whom God has given you to fit you for life now. And for the life to come. They're not your friends. And if you don't learn to be discerning now, you're a sitting duck for the devil to use any of his minions and to ruin your life.

Application 2: Assess Your Media Consumption

29:34 Second application. Use this warning to assess the music you listen to, the videos and TV shows that you watch, and your voluntary reading materials I'm talking about the reading you do that's not required as part of your schoolwork. Ask yourself this question. The music I listen to, the videos and the TV shows I watch, and my voluntary reading material, when I'm done listening, watching, reading,

30:14 do I find myself strengthened in my appreciation and love for my godly parents, my godly pastors, and my godly teachers? Or do I find what I listen to, what I watch and what I read, creating in my soul a sense of distance between my mom and dad and me, between my teachers and me, between my pastors and me?

30:49 You ask yourself that question, kids. If you don't learn to ask that question and face honestly the answer, you're a sitting duck. For all of these impersonal influences to cripple you in your development into the man or woman God wants you to be.

31:12 And remember, the devil is called the God of this world. The Holy Spirit does not superintend network television, let alone table television. The Holy Spirit does not superintend Hollywood production studios. And the Holy Spirit does not superintend the Hollywood production studios.

31:32 And the Holy Spirit does not superintend the recording studios of the music cranked out by the cunts.

31:49 So if you open yourself to those things, do you think the devil is going to say, oh, well, let's declare a truce? That child, that young person is naive and they're really not thinking. They just feel they want to be with it. And when the kids talk about, have you heard this CD and have you heard this one and that one?

32:06 Do you think the devil just declares a truce, dear children? Do you think the devil just declares a truce, dear children? He's out to die. Whether you believe it or not, that's reality.

32:18 He wants to cut you off from every influence that will mold and shape you into the man or woman who will glorify God and be useful in your generation and go to heaven with all the saints and with Christ forever. He's out to cut you off from all of that. And he's dead in earnest. Dead in earnest.

32:41 He's not playing games. So you better start asking the question with respect to the videos you watch, the music you listen to, the TV shows you watch, your voluntary reading material. Does it make me love and desire to obey with greater passion my parents, my teachers, my pastors? Or does it cause me to become cynical about their fuddy-duddy ways?

33:17 Resent the pressure of their influence, their incessant, relentless pressure all the time seeking to mold my character? Getting on my case here and getting on my case there and getting on my case here. I'm sick and tired of it. I want to be free.

33:37 Free to be what? The devil's lackey. For whosoever commits sin is the bond slave of sin. Question in my application.

Dealing Ruthlessly with Harmful Influences

33:54 What do I do if asking those two questions about my friends, about the things that I expose myself to in terms of my music, my reading, etc., if I have to be honest and say, no, those things do not nudge me to love my parents more and want to obey them more, love my teachers more and want to obey them more, love my pastors more and want to receive their instruction out of the Bible with greater eagerness. What am I supposed to do? Well, I want you to turn to Deuteronomy 13.

34:31 This is the spirit in which you're to deal with these things. This is not a prescription, one-to-one, of what you're to do in the letter of it, but I want you to see something of the spirit in which you're to respond to these things. Deuteronomy chapter 13 and verse 6. Deuteronomy chapter 13 and verse 6.

34:59 If your brother, the son of your mother, someone who shared the same womb, or your son, this could be an adult, or your daughter, or the wife of your bosom, or now listen, or your friend that is as your own soul.

35:22 Isn't that a precious description of your bosom friend? Remember it said of David and Jonathan, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David. They were as one soul. And here Moses says by the inspiration of the Spirit, you've got a friend, your real soul mate.

35:41 That's the end term today. My real soul mate. I'm one with this person. Look at the text.

35:47 If this person who is as your own soul entice you secretly, now they don't come to you openly, but secretly, taking advantage of either these natural ties of affection, familiarity, or this deep intimate friendship, and they secretly say, let us go and serve other gods, which you have not known, you nor your fathers, and the gods of the people that are round about you, near unto you, or far from you, from the one end of the earth, even unto the other end of the earth, you shall not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him,

36:31 neither shall your eye pick on him, neither shall you pity him, neither shall you spare him, neither shall you conceal him. I mean, God's really getting specific, isn't He? He's saying, this person, you are not to consent, hearken, pity, spare, conceal. You shall surely kill him.

36:55 Your hand shall be first to put him to death, and afterward, the hand of all the people. And you shall stone him, to death with stones, because he sought to draw you away from the Lord your God. Now, here's the principle. I'm not saying that if you've had a so-called friend that has been an instrument to wean your affections from your parents, and therefore, from your desire to obey them, and to honor them, to do the same with your teachers, your pastors, you're to go out and get some big old stones and put them down.

37:31 No, no, no, no. Please, please. We've been accused of a lot of things, over the years. I don't want to be accused of telling kids to go out and murder their friends.

37:40 But the principle is this. Anyone who purports to be your friend, who would draw you away from the path of blessing in obedience to God, you are to deal with them ruthlessly. That's the issue. Ruthless dealings.

38:00 Don't consent. Don't hearken. Don't pity. Don't spare.

38:04 Don't consent. Don't conceal him. Some of you, to put it in the concrete terms, at the end of this day, if you take these questions seriously about your friends, and you say, look, those people I've chosen to have my close friends, if I have to be honest, at the end of the day, I don't go home with a greater passion to love and respect and honor and obey my parents, my pastors, and my teachers. They've got a spirit that is irritated with authority and with parental guidance and hands-on instruction.

38:42 And it infects me when I'm around them. It gets to me. What are you to do? Get on the phone and call them up before you pillow your head tonight and say, John, Mary, I listened to what was preached today and by the grace of God, I'm going to do it.

38:59 Your influence upon me is a negative, devilish influence. Our friendship is done until you, you change.

39:09 Yeah, that's what you've got to do.

39:12 In that sense, you're stoning them. They're as good as dead as far as any further influence upon you.

39:20 That's the principle. You know what Jesus called it?

39:26 If your right eye offends you,

39:31 gouge it out. And what? Put it on the sink and pop it back in? No.

39:37 He says, gouge it out and cast it from you. If your right hand offends you, cut it off. Cast it from you. That's the New Testament counterpart of this principle.

39:55 If that friend becomes to you the offending eye and the offending hand, excise and discard that friendship.

40:08 My son, if sinners entice you, consent.

40:16 Oh, you say, but pastor, if I did that, I have no friends. Ah, that's the devil's lie. First of all, you'd know a friendship that will never disappoint. If you do it out of obedience to Jesus, the presence and the sweet sense of His comfort and consolation in your natural loneliness will more than compensate for any earthly friend.

40:44 But let me tell you, it won't be long before other kids and young people who are serious about this issue, you'll sniff one another out and you'll know that you're not alone. You'll know a level of friendship and open-faced, spirit-owned relationships that'll make you wonder why you ever played around with that garbage.

41:08 You say, pastor, you do come from another generation. What's that have to do with the Bible?

41:16 What's that have to do with the Bible?

41:19 The Bible is clear. Honor. Obey. And that means maintain the relationship of affection to those to whom you are to be obedient and whom you are to obey.

41:32 Do you honor? And anyone and anything that would erode that affection is to be dealt with radically, summarily, and by the grace of God in such a way that that influence will be taken away.

Practical Test of Affection and Obedience

41:51 And I want to close this head by giving a little practical test concerning your affection for and obedience to your parents, your teachers, and your pastors. A little practical test. This is one of those things that happens a lot. It happens a lot.

42:06 It happens a lot. It happens a lot. It happens when I sit at my desk thinking and pray, Lord, how to bring it home to where it will really bite and have teeth.

42:15 I want you to imagine where your friends normally gather. For some of you, it's down in the foyer of this church. For some of you, go to the Christian school that's out in the parking lot. Maybe it's a place in your neighborhood.

42:29 Wherever it is, I want you to imagine a group of your, quote, friends are gathered. And your mom and dad have spoken to you either here or after service and they say, whatever name they give you, it's all right. Mom, daughter, honey, I don't know what they call you. Whatever they call you.

42:45 Whatever their term of affection is. You know, I want us to talk a little bit about what we heard today before we go home and the other kids will be screaming and hollering and mom will be fixing me up. Let's go take a little walk together. And so you make your way out of this building and you start down the stairs through the foyer and your dad has got his arm around you on one side and your mom has got her arm around you on the other side.

43:11 So you're walking, you're walking down the stairs in front of all your peers and your mom has got her arm around you and your daddy's got his arm around you in front of all these people. How would you feel? Would you hold your head high and the people say, what are you doing, your mom and dad? Say, we're going to have a talk and I'm so glad I've got a mom and dad who love me enough to talk to me.

43:48 Would you be proud in front of your peers to make it known you are bound in deep, shameless affection for your mom and your daddy? I've been down Mississippi. I can't say mom and dad. I've got to say your mom and your daddy.

44:06 Would you, kids? Come on now. Be honest. Would you?

44:11 Or would you feel a sense of shame and say, come on, I'll cut it off. That's all right. We get out in the parking lot and nobody sees us.

44:18 What would you be like? Tomorrow, school is over. Same thing. Then the next Sunday, to add insult to injury, one of your teachers from the Christian school speaks to one of the pastors and says, you know, I've been concerned about such and such.

44:33 I wonder if we should talk to so-and-so tonight. And we agree. And we nail you up here. Okay?

44:39 And you say, can we have a little talk? And lo and behold, maybe it wouldn't be appropriate for the teacher to put the arm around you, but maybe they've got an arm just on the shoulder. And most of you kids and young people, it's very natural for me. I'd have my arm around you.

44:53 If you fought me, I'd just squeeze a little bit. Most of you, I can still handle you. Not all of you, but most of you. All right?

45:00 How would you feel if we walked down through the foyer and all the kids are gathered around their little merry-go-round with a teacher and one of the pastors?

45:12 Would you be able to say inwardly if not outwardly, I thank God for these people that love me and they're giving their life to fit me to live, to die, and to go to heaven someday?

45:30 Would that be the disposition of your heart? Come on, kids. Get honest. Is that the disposition of your heart?

45:38 If it isn't, there's something bad wrong with you. Something bad wrong with you.

45:46 You've left yourself vulnerable for other influences that are not committed to fit you for life, to fit you to die, and to fit you to go to heaven. And you need to start dealing with those influences like the offending right hand, the offending right eye, and like the seducing friend who would draw you away from God. That's my exhortation to you. Beware of being drawn into the youth culture of our day.

Exhortation 3: Never Be Ashamed to Please Parents

46:24 Beware of any person or thing that would erode your affection for and your obedience to your parents, your teachers, and your pastors. And then more briefly, I want to bring this third exhortation. Then God willing, next week we're going to focus all of our attention on Jesus as the perfect embodiment of Jesus. Of one who obeyed and honored His parents and is therefore qualified to be our perfect Savior and our perfect High Priest.

46:55 But here's the third exhortation. In the light of these commands and promises and warnings, never be ashamed to acknowledge that what you do and what you don't do is because you desire to please your parents and to make them thankful that you are their son or daughter.

47:19 Never be ashamed to acknowledge both inwardly and outwardly that what you do and what you don't do is because you desire to please your parents and to make them glad that you are their son or their daughter. Now, the Bible is clear, kids, that the most fundamental motive in life is the God-centered motive or fundamental motives are the God-centered motives. That is, my motive is why I do what I do. My deeds, or what I do.

47:51 I'm preaching this morning. I have a motive for my preaching.

47:56 If my motive were to earn a paycheck, that would be wicked. If my motive were to be seen and heard,

48:05 have some praise of men, that would be wicked. If my motive is to glorify God and to do you good, then my preaching is a noble thing. Your motive is why you do what you do. Your deeds are what you do.

48:20 Now, the Bible is clear that, the motives that make us do what we do should be God-centered. Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10, 31. However, the Bible is equally clear that the desire to please your parents and make them glad that you are their child is a legitimate motive for choosing right and refusing the wrong.

48:52 God wants you to have this one of the conscious motives of your life in moral choices. What I do, what I don't do, the thought that I want to please my mom and my daddy. And I want them to pillow their head at night happy as a clam that I'm their kid.

49:12 That's right. Now again, that is so strange in this generation. But it's biblical. And I want to demonstrate it from the Bible.

49:19 Turn to the book of Proverbs.

49:22 I'm going to look at three verses that show the fact that what you do, and don't do, will either bring grief or joy to your parents.

49:32 What you do or don't do will either bring grief or joy to your parents. We start with Proverbs 10 and verse 1. Proverbs 10 and verse 1.

49:45 The Proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. What you are and what you do will either bring gladness or sadness to your parents. Chapter 17, verse 25.

50:08 Proverbs 10, 1, Leslie. Then 17, 25. A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her that bore him. Grief and bitterness are the commodities that you as a kid can deposit in the heart of your mother.

50:32 And your father. And then Proverbs 23, 24. Another text that points in the same direction. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice and he that begets a wise child will have joy of him.

50:49 Great rejoicing. Joy that you either give or withhold by what you are and what you do. Now, I want you to look at verses that demonstrate that that reality, that you have the capacity to make your mother and father joyful with a joy that is beyond description or brokenhearted with a heaviness that is beyond description. That that reality of desiring to make them happy should be a powerful motive in what you do and what you don't do.

51:30 We look again at three verses. Proverbs 23, verses 15 to 17. Proverbs 23, 15. My son, if your heart be wise, my heart will be glad, even mine.

51:45 My heart will rejoice when your lips speak right things. Let not your heart envy sinners. Be in the fear of God all the day long. My son, if you embrace the instruction of your father and mother and become a God-fearing man or woman living all of your life with respect to God, with respect to the eye of God and the claims of God, in the joyful embrace of the saving mercy of God in Christ, son, my heart will be glad.

52:20 My heart will rejoice. The father's unashamed to tell his son, you have the capacity to make me shouting and dancing happy.

52:32 And he wants that to be a motive in what the son does and becomes. Chapter 23 and verse 25. Let your father and your mother be glad and let her that bore you rejoice. You see how it's used as a motive.

52:49 Son, among all the reasons I want you to take my counsel and my direction, here is one of them. Let your father and your mother together be glad and let the one who bore you, carried you in her womb and brought you forth in her birth pangs, let her rejoice. And then Proverbs 27, 11. Son, 27, 11, be wise and make my heart glad that I may answer him that reproaches me.

53:21 Here he adds to the motive seeking to persuade his son to embrace his instruction. Not only make my heart glad, but give me the stuff to shut the mouths of those who say, oh, this God-centered life, this Christ-obsessed life, this is heavy and burdensome to be able to say no. No, no, it is not so. It's the way of life that I sought to convey to my son, to my daughter.

53:48 Look at them. They wear that garland of grace around their head and chains of honor around their neck. I'll have an answer to those who reproach me for what I am as a godly man. Well, there's the biblical principles.

Application: Consciously Seek to Bring Joy to Parents

54:05 Now let me apply again, kids. When you're faced with decisions as to what to do and what not to do, fundamentally, we're to think as Joseph did. How can I do this great? How can I do this thing and sin against God?

54:22 The God-centered motive must be primary. I've been bought with a price. I'm to glorify God in my body, in my life, if I'm trusting Him and I've given myself to Him. But I'm not only to think of God, His grace, His law, His will, His smile, His frown.

54:41 I'm not only to think of the promises, the warnings that we looked at from Ephesians and Proverbs 1, but also when I'm thinking of what to do, I ought to think consciously, will what I'm contemplating doing make my parents glad or sad? Will it fill them with joy or with heaviness?

55:09 And you see, you're a miserable wretch and a little beast in the making. To deliberately drive a knife into the heart of your parents and twist it.

55:23 They prayed you into conception.

55:28 Your mother carried you in her womb.

55:31 A mother and father together picked you out and sovereignly set their love upon you and adopted you. They tenderly cared for you when you were a helpless infant. They comforted you when you were afraid. Nursed you when you were sick.

55:47 Your dad labored and busted you up. They did his hump to provide for you. They've surrounded you with loving, fair, but firm discipline. They've instructed you, corrected you, denied themselves to give you a God-centered education.

56:05 Whether a mother, in addition to all her labors, became your teacher at home or they paid the double tax of your tuition in a Christian school, just think of all they've done. What a miserable, miserable wretch you are to turn around to such people, ram the knife in their gut and twist it.

56:26 You're a miserable wretch.

56:30 That's what you do when you say, oh yeah, I know this will bring grief to mom, grief to dad, but so what? Stick the knife and turn it.

56:43 Rather than saying, oh God, I could have been one of these kids born in a single parent home, left alone to rot in the cellar like those kids in Newark. And people find me dead four days after I'd died with bruises all over me. Did you choose not to be there?

57:08 Did you march up to the throne of God before you were conceived and say, God, I know I'm going to have existence on earth. I'd like to be born into a home where a mother and father love one another, where they will lovingly nurture me and care for me and provide for me and instruct. Did you tell God that's what you were decreeing?

57:28 He gave you all of that freely, graciously, lovingly, sovereignly. And what do you do with all of it? Turn around and say, I don't care. Stick the knife in and twist it.

57:43 Be a grief to her that bore you. Heaviness of heart to your father. Shame and a grief to your mother. Is that what you want?

57:54 Is that what you want to do? You're ready to go home today and look your mom in the eye and look your dad in the eye and say, Dad and Mom, I'm determined. Stick the knife and twist it. You become the foolish son, the foolish daughter, that throws over the traces of your godly training, rejects the Savior set before you in the home and in the house of God.

The Greatest Joy: Becoming a Christian

58:22 You're still going to have birthdays.

58:25 You still have birthdays. Unconverted children from godly homes still have birthdays.

58:35 I want you to put yourself in the place of the mom and dad who with all of their training and all of their character development and everything they've given themselves to, above all else, what they've earned for you and prayed for you and entreated for you is that you know Christ, that you repent and believe the gospel.

58:58 You've rejected that greatest desire of their hearts. Birthday time is coming. Put yourself in their place. And they stand by the card rack at CVS or at Target or at the local gift shop and they try to find a card for you.

59:18 You are a daughter that mom and dad are proud of. No, I can't give that one. You're a daughter who is a lead weight in my soul.

59:34 You're a son any parent can be proud of.

59:39 No, you're a son that is a lead weight to our heart. You twist the knife every birthday. Not preachers blow.

60:02 Every birthday the knife goes in. Now what you want to do?

60:15 Are you such a wretch that you sit here this morning and say, yes, that's what I want to do. May God have mercy on you. If your hardness has reached the place where you dare to sit there and say, yes, I willfully knowingly choose to do it. I like to think better things of you dear children and young people.

60:40 But that thought horrifies you. You say, what a miserable wretch I'd be to do that. Well, then you see what you've got to do. You've got to please mom and dad as God tells you to do it in the most important area.

60:56 And you know what that is? He there calls. To seek the Lord while he may be found. Call upon him while he is near.

61:04 Go to God with his promise you shall seek me and find me in the day you search for me with all your heart. Yes, they've trained you and sought to give you the stuff to be a knowledgeable, responsible, honorable citizen of this world. But above all of that they've prayed for you and instructed you and urged you to become a citizen of the kingdom of heaven. And if you have all of this they still have heavy hearts that the greatest passion of their heart has not been realized.

61:39 And I would urge some of you this day to go home and say God, I'm breaking my mom and dad's heart because I won't become a Christian. And God, that's not right. You've told me make them glad. Lord, I can't make myself a Christian but I can seek you.

61:55 And you've said that if I seek you with all my heart I'll find you. And you've said seek the Lord. Lord, while he may be found call upon him while he's near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts and let him return unto the Lord and to our God for he will have mercy upon him and abundantly pardon.

62:15 And you open your Bible to Isaiah 55 and Jeremiah 29 and Romans 10 and you take God these are your words and you stop shilly-shallying and billy-dallying about the issue of your soul waiting for God to zap you or do something else to you.

62:35 And go to God and say God if for no other reason than to obey that injunction to make my mother and dad glad Lord, I must become a Christian.

62:47 That shocks some of you.

62:52 And God is not fastidious what gets us to Christ.

62:56 You go to Christ.

62:59 Give him no rest till you know that you are his.

63:05 So those are my exhortations to you children young people in the light of God's clear commands his gracious promises and his frightening warnings beware of being drawn into the youth subculture of our day beware of any person or thing that erodes your affection for and obedience to your godly parents teachers and pastors and never be ashamed to acknowledge that what you do and don't do is because you desire to please your godly parents and to make them glad that you're their son or daughter.

A Word to Parents and Concluding Prayer

63:42 And as I close I've got to say a word to you parents if you make it easy for your kids to love you are you lovable? Are you affectionate? With words? With deeds?

64:04 With appropriate touches?

64:08 It broke my heart when in a counseling session a few weeks ago a grown man said he never knew what it was once to have his dad sit him on his knee and tell him he loved him.

64:23 What a tragedy.

64:25 Do you create a climate in which only the worst kind of perversity on the part of your children is what makes you them draw back in their affections for you?

64:40 Do you surround them with a blanket of love in deed in word in climate in atmosphere not moist love love that gets in their face love that's willing to have them alienated from you for a time to do what's good for them not intimidated by them but loving them enough to draw the lines set the walls rooted in the Bible and stand by them. In that context may God grant that our children and our grandchildren will find it a delight to love us

65:23 to obey us to take instruction from us that by the grace of God we may see a generation of children and young people raised up with all the benefits of the training many of us never had outstrip us in zeal for Christ zeal for the kingdom of God usefulness for the honor of Christ in the rising generation.

65:52 I look out at the faces of some of you and an awful lot of investment has brought precious little returns and God will hold you accountable for to whom much is given of him shall much be required. Let's pray.

66:16 Our Father we're so thankful that we have the scriptures as a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway and we pray that the weighty matters that have been laid before the children and young people this morning would find lodgment in every heart and that by your grace each one would have dealings with you today. We pray that the word will not fall to the ground without serious reflection obedience prayer we ask that some will look back upon this day as the day when things were settled in their own souls that turned the whole world and the whole direction of their lives. We call upon you

67:01 to be merciful to us and to answer our prayer for Jesus' sake. Amen.