Counsel, Advise, and Exhortations (a)

Recap of Morning Sermon: Commands, Promises, and Warnings for Children

0:03 The following sermon was delivered on Sunday evening, March 2, 2003, at Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey. Now you children and young people will once again be in the crosshairs of my biblical rifle as I speak to you again on the subject of obeying and honoring your parents. When I spoke to you this morning, I set before you three things. We looked at the clear commands with reference to your duty to obey your parents,

0:42 Ephesians 6, 1-2a and Proverbs 1-8, in which you are clearly commanded, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and your mother. And in Proverbs 1-8,

1:04 And then we noted, secondly, the encouraging promises that God gives to you as children as you contemplate those divine commands. God is a right to tell us what to do in whatever way He wants to tell us. But He is condescended to append His clear commands with these very gracious and encouraging promises. And in Ephesians 6, 2b and verse 3, He gives to us the promise of a good and of a long life.

1:42 He says we are to do these things in order that we may know His blessing that we may have a long life upon the earth. And in Proverbs 1-9, under the imagery of a garland about our heads and a chain about our necks, God says that, Obeying the directives of father and mother bring with it the promise of a beautiful and honorable and an attractive life. And then we concluded our expositions by considering the terrifying warnings, those found particularly in the Old Covenant,

2:24 in which God is underscoring for His covenant community how seriously He regards disobedience to parental honor. And then we concluded our expositions by considering the terrifying warnings, those found particularly in the Old Covenant, in which God is underscoring for His covenant community how seriously He regards disobedience to parental honor. And then we concluded our expositions by considering the terrifying warnings, those found particularly in the Old Covenant, in which God is underscoring for His covenant community how seriously He regards disobedience to parental honor. For any child or young person in Israel who would strike his father or mother, who would curse father or mother, there was to be capital punishment.

2:48 And while not suggesting in any way that that ought to be our practice today, it is clear that these things were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages are come, that we might realize how seriously, God regards disobedience to legitimate parental authority. And then we looked at two of the very frightening texts in the book of Proverbs, in which God speaks of the horrible lamp being put out in darkness to those who will not obey their parents, and to that horrible end in which God says,

3:30 you will be like a shameful Israelite, who is not given a decent burial, and the vultures will pluck out your eyes in the wilderness. Now this evening I want to build upon that exposition of those many portions of the Word of God, and to set before you some practical words of counsel, advice, and exhortation. Remember, it is the exposition of those passages which undergirds the practical words of counsel, and the practical observations, counsels, and exhortations that I want to give tonight. If I were in Puritan days, when two-hour sermons were the vogue,

First Exhortation: Beware of the Youth Subculture

4:15 I would have carried on this morning, and appended the exposition with the application, but I'm splitting it up, and God willing, in the first Lord's day that I return here, two weeks from today, to complete this exhortation and application, of those vital texts concerning the responsibility and duty of children and young people to obey and to honor their parents. And here's my first observation and exhortation. In the light of these commands, promises, and warnings, dear children, dear young people, hear me now, in the light of these commands,

5:00 these wonderful promises, these frightening warnings, beware of being drawn into the youth subculture of our day. I want to warn you in the strongest terms possible. Beware of being drawn into the youth subculture of our day. Now, first of all, I must define for you, in a way that I trust the youngest child can grasp, what do I mean by the term, youth subculture?

Defining the Youth Subculture: Rivalry, Rebellion, Rejection

5:34 Well, a subculture is defined in our dictionaries as a group within any society comprised of those often of the same age, often of the same ethnic background, or some other unifying element. This group has its own distinct standards, goals, and interests, which set it apart for the mainstream of the culture in which it is found. Therefore, it is called a subculture. It is a culture within a culture.

6:15 It is a culture that, contrary to the overarching climate of the larger culture, it has its own distinct standards, its own distinct goals, and its own distinct interests. We have a biker's culture. I'm thinking of it these days because where my mother-in-law lives down in Florida, I've been there during the time when bikers by the thousands come in to Daytona Beach. And one look at a group of bikers, and you identify them immediately as a subculture.

6:55 By the way they look, the way they dress, the way they are tattooed, the way you find all kinds of waving gray-haired, ponytail, deeply gouged, lined faces of men that are obviously hard drinkers and hard livers, and the way they live during that week, you are very, very much aware that they are a distinct subculture. They have their own goals, they have their own standards, they have their own interests, and it is those things that bind them together, bind them together with a sense of belonging to one another. Now for the past 50 years or so,

7:38 there has appeared in our culture, in our nation, in our country, a distinctive youth subculture in which young people heard together with a sense of their own identity and a sense of security in that herding together. However, there are some basic aspects of that subculture as it presently exists. And you listen carefully to what I'm going to say. Some aspects of that subculture as it presently exists

8:21 that are diametrically opposed to everything that was preached in this place this morning. In fact, there are three words in the unwritten constitution of today's youth's subculture. Three unwritten but very real words that describe the disposition of that subculture with respect to parental authority, relationships, guidance, and counsel. And you know what those three words are?

9:00 Rivalry, rebellion, and rejection. We have a youth subculture that has as part of its constitution, if you're going to be one of us, you must acquire a disposition of looking upon your parents as rivals. Instead of looking upon them and relating to them as your most intimate friends and confidants, guides, and helpful associates, there is to be an us and them relationship

9:43 of rivalry between you and your parents. The second word is rebellion. This subculture is fomenting continually the idea that if you are to fight for your identity as a preteen or a teen, you can only find it by rebelling against the authority of your parents. The worst thing that could be said about you if you want to be immediately rejected as not one of us is to indicate that you both love and delight in obeying your parents.

10:27 Rivalry, rebellion, and the third word is rejection. Rejection of the norms, the standards, the likes, the dislikes of your parents. There must be rejection. There must be the sense their music will never be my music.

10:50 Their styles of dress will never be my styles of dress. Rejection and overthrowing an anarchist spirit to everything that exists in what we would call the main line culture that is reflected in the parents. And I'm prepared to say that that ethos, that climate of this youth subculture that has those three words as part and parcel of its unwritten constitution is nothing less than demonic and from the very pit of hell, of hell itself.

The Demonic Origin and Influence of the Youth Subculture

11:33 When almighty God has placed over every child and every young person parental influence to instruct, to guide, to nurture, to prepare for this life and the life to come and you were the devil hating the influence of godly parents in that position of guiding, instructing, and nurturing for this life and the life to come what would you do? You would seek to break that bond between parent and child. And that is exactly what the devil has done in his nefarious engineering

12:18 of current youth subculture. And so I'm saying to you my precious children and young people if you are serious about God's commands to obey and honor father and mother if you believe those promises are not idle promises of the good and the long and the honorable life that God says attends those who obey and honor parents and if you take seriously God's threats of what God will do with those who despise this institution of parental authority

13:02 then you will determine so help you God that you will not be drawn in to this youth subculture. The Bible says that imitation and absorption of godly parental example and instruction and standards is the way of blessing. The youth subculture says the way of blessing is in rejection of the whole shooting match. Their music their styles their moral standards their code language

13:46 a subculture has created its own standards its own goals its own interests its own language its own dress codes. Now I want to say by way of application something that some of you are not going to like. Some of you children who maybe think I'm not too bad a guy once in a while a little old fashioned and the rest but you really don't hate me. What I'm going to say now is going to tip the scales but frankly though it grieves me it's not going to stop me because I'm going to answer to God for the stewardship of this pulpit

Music Industry's Role in Perpetuating the Youth Subculture

14:31 and I want you to listen to me. This is not some wild eyed fanatic who's out of touch with what's going on who's about to say this. Hear me carefully now. Today's youth subculture with that unwritten constitution that says as far as parental influence is concerned rivalry rebellion rejection that youth culture in great measure is identified with shaped by and perpetuated in both the lifestyle of parents appearance and musical production of today's music industry.

15:15 You hearing me? That subculture is being primarily identified with propagated by shaped in all of its facets by today's music industry and its leading lights. We have a whole generation of preteen and teenage girls whose super low slung jeans and bare midriffs are little clones of Britney Spears Christina Aguilera Jennifer Lopez and her ilk. And if you say you don't know

15:59 what I'm talking about then sit down with me and watch for a night American Idol. Isn't it interesting that that's the title the world has chosen for its contest to find some fresh pop stars? I've watched parts of it deliberately that I might look you in the eye and say I know what I'm talking about. And all of them in their appearance in their body language in the facial expressions they're all little clones of Britney and her ilk.

16:33 They have no individual identity except it's a throwing over of every standard of decency of every standard of morality of every standard of that which your mother and your father would die to see inculcated in your life. And they call it American Idol. I didn't. They want a new idol.

17:01 An idol for whom? For the youth sub culture to worship. And according to the Bible you become like that which you worship. And you will start becoming like it in your appearance.

17:19 And the more you look at it you'll become like it in your soul. Until the amoral standards of the lives of the American idols shape your morals and your standards. We have a generation of kids young men with their backward caps their billowy ground dragging pants and baggy t-shirts dictated by rappers. And R&B icons who tell them this is the way you gotta dress to be cool.

17:57 And they all look the same. You see that's their name your freedom. And they're all six ducks in a row. And the only thing that's the common denominator is rivalry rebellion and rejection.

18:21 A foul mouthed hate filled angry generation of young men cheating at the swine troughs of the vile sloth of emeralds of Eminem and his clones are molding a generation of young men who think the mark of a man is that he can say the F word ten times in a sentence. That's the youth subculture. MTV has become the global glue of this youth subculture. By way of satellite it goes to almost every country

19:05 on the face of the earth. I saw the statistics recently and it was mind blowing. I think it's up over the billion. Have access to this so that any young person can go almost anywhere in the world today.

19:19 A young man spewing out his F words with his cap backwards with enough trousers to be made into six pairs for any ordinary person and he's immediately at home. Why? He's got the outfit of what? Rivalry rebellion rejection dissonance disorderliness the ugly the bizarre.

The 'Sanitized Quasi-Christian' Youth Subculture

19:50 Now I'm going to come a little closer to home. You know what's been spawned from that youth culture in its most ugly manifestations? A sanitized quote quasi-Christian youth subculture. You hear what I'm saying?

20:14 A sanitized quasi-Christian youth subculture. You take out the F word. You take out the explicit references to sex. You take out the gross reforms but go into family on 40 on it in their magazines.

20:44 Attractive little twit with her net mesh pullover blouse give her bare belly for Jesus. Words of scripture. We have this treasure in earthen vessel calling themselves jars of clay. And you wouldn't know unless you were told from their appearance and the sound but what you are up to your neck and the raw stuff that is mainstream youth subculture.

21:25 And don't tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about. I've tortured my ears and listened to it. And I've strained my eyes to read the fine print in the booklets that contain the so called Christian lyrics. Dribble.

The Whirlpool Analogy: The Danger of Being Drawn In

21:43 I'm not a cranky old man who's out of touch with reality. And I'm begging you precious young people. I'm begging you. If you take seriously God's command you take seriously God's promise you take seriously God's threats then beware of being drawn in to the useless to the youth subculture of our day.

22:20 It's like a powerful whirlpool. You've seen a powerful whirlpool? Here's a piece of wood floating on the surface of the water minding its own business going wherever the little eddies and waves will take it. And there's a whirlpool.

22:35 And once it gets caught in the edge of the whirlpool it still looks like it has its own destiny. It's still out here. But by degrees it is drawn in and in and down until it is swallowed up in the vortex of the whirlpool. And the devil knows better than to try to get you to jump in head first into the vortex to get you playing with the outer swirls of the whirlpool.

23:07 What's wrong with my taking that CD that somebody passes on to me down by the lockers in the Christian school? I know mom and dad wouldn't like it but you see they're part of the oh that's their music. We have our music. Hear that language before?

23:28 And you begin to cultivate an appetite. And oh you have no intention whatsoever of going where I've seen my own flesh and blood go. Oh no! I don't want the vortex to be drowned in total hedonism total lawlessness baseness ugliness wholeness I just want to be part of the subculture so I've got to just sidle up a little bit to the edges of the world.

24:12 My precious young people dear children I beg you if it wouldn't appear and it would appear melodramatic I'd get on my knees and come by every pew and take you by the arms and say hear me I beg you I beg you I plead with you beware of being drawn in by this youth subculture. Do you know why there were so many on that list we prayed for Wednesday night of adult children who are not Christian? Here's one of the main reasons they thought they could play with that subculture

Why Defend the Subculture Over Parents?

24:57 until the devil who inspired it ensnared them and though God may yet rescue them the scars the wounds the broken bones with which they'll live for the rest of their days. Ask yourself my dear precious young people why are you so willing to defend those elements of that subculture that are offensive to your parents? Ask yourself that question. Why are you so willing to defend somebody who never travailed in birth to bring you into the world like your mama did never spent a sleepless night

25:40 putting cold compresses on your fevered brow never busted their hump going into New York and into the place of business fighting traffic and all the hassle of making an adequate wage to put bread on your table a roof on your head and to give you a godly education. When did these people ever do that for you? Why are you so willing to defend them and to offend your precious mom and dad? I ask you what did they ever do for you?

26:11 What are they out for? Nothing but your money and your soul. They don't have one smidgen of any motive of goodwill to you any more than the devil does. Jesus said the thief comes not but for to what?

26:28 To steal to kill to destroy. He is a murderer from the beginning and a liar. Why in God's name think kids why do you come to defense of those elements of the youth subculture that your parents are saying those things are not to be in our house? Why do you defend them?

26:48 Why will you sneak behind their back to dabble in it? It's madness. Just as it would be madness if someone were seeking to put poison in your food at your evening meal and your mom and dad are saying no poison on this table and you're pushing their hands back and fighting them to keep the poison off your plate. Someone would say you've gone nuts.

27:11 Well you're spiritually nuts if you fight your parents who want to keep poison from entering your soul. When somebody meets you in the hallway of Trinity Christian School and begins to bad mouth a teacher to try to develop a spirit of rivalry you tell them you're not my friend. Shut up or I'm done with you. Have the guts to do it.

27:36 And you parents when your kids complain about the teachers in God's name go take the side of your kids. If there's a legitimate concern you go and face the teacher but presume unless the evidence is overwhelming after due examination by the people involved presume the innocence of the teacher. Thank God I had parents that way. Weren't ready to jump into the boat with me and my complaining but they assumed I was wrong.

28:15 The teacher was right until the evidence was so overwhelming and as far as I know in 12 years of school it never was overwhelming. I never, never got off the hook. Be committed to receiving counsel that encourages you to obey your parents. Accepting their standards of dress, of music, of appearance.

Counter-Cultural Obedience and Moral Guts

28:42 Let me ask you I was telling the elders suppose you think your parents you can't understand why you'd love to have your hair some of you guys so it touches your collar okay for the sake of discussion and your mom and dad say no for some reason or another they just feel that's not an acceptable standard they want an inch above the collar. Now let me ask you is one inch of hair worth making a rival of your parents? Two more years you'll be out on your own and you can't get it down to your head. Keep it on your own.

29:14 And in so many other areas you may not understand the reasonableness of your parents' standards but remember God put them there because they know more than you. And when you're old enough to make your mature reflective judgment you just may agree that hey mom and dad were right. And if you come to the conclusion maybe they weren't then you're free under God and in the presence of Christ to do what is right in your turf. Under God.

29:48 But why let it become an issue of irritation? You see it won't unless you are determined to be considered with it in the youth subculture. You face it. If you're going to obey your parents honor your father and your mother as we saw from the scriptures this morning you are going to be counter cultural with the existing youth subculture.

30:18 Face it. You are going to be cool. So my blessed Lord Jesus wasn't cool. When the guys in the blocks were feeling their oats he said come on Jesus we're going to do this we're going to do that.

30:42 The Bible says he went down to Nazareth and was subject to his parents. As we'll see in the next exhortation he was unashamed when people say why are you going to do this Jesus? Say because my mom and my daddy don't want me to. Oh you really wouldn't be cool if you gave the reason for something you didn't do.

31:00 Because your mom and your daddy are your daddy's boys. Yeah I am. You got a problem with that? You're a mama's girl.

31:08 Yeah I am. You got a problem with that? God doesn't. So if you got a problem with that you got a problem with me.

31:14 And if you got a problem with me you got a problem with the God to whom I answer. I long to see kids in this place with that kind of moral guts. It'll make me dance and jump you'll have to chain me or you'll think for sure I've gone over into charismatic camp. That's what God did for me as a teenager.

31:36 He did it for me. Timid. Fearful. A slave of people's smiles and fobs set me free.

31:45 And I ain't got over it yet. I hope you know it. You understand what I'm saying kids? Well I'd hope to bring a second exhortation but I think I've said enough.

32:06 You can get hold of this. Pray it in. Till it becomes part of the texture of your soul. What a noble beautiful love.

32:17 Life will unfold before you. If some of us are alive to see it. We'll stand back and say with Simeon Lord let thy servant depart in peace. Mine eyes have seen thy salvation.

32:30 Kids and young people willing to align themselves with God who says obey your parents honor your father and your mother and standing nobly under the commands of their God encouraged by his grace and gracious promises that it may be well with you that you may live long upon the earth. It will be a garland of grace around your head and chains around your neck. They say oh God that's how I want to be dressed in your sight. What a wonderful thing that is.

How to Resist: The Grace of God in Christ (Titus 2:11-14)

33:10 Chapter 2. Titus chapter 2. I've laid out from the word of God in the morning hour the biblical nuts and bolts of this matter of obedience to parental authority and guidance. I've given you this very central basic practical warning about being sucked in and taken into the youth subculture.

33:37 Now the great question is how in the world do we do it? What do we do if we've already been sucked in and God has opened our eyes and we sat here tonight and said Lord I never saw it that way. I see it. Lights have gone on in my soul.

33:52 What do I do? What do I do? Titus chapter 2. Verse 11.

33:58 For the grace of God has appeared bringing salvation to all men or it could be rendered the grace of God has appeared to all men bringing salvation. You know what that's talking about? That's talking about Jesus coming to earth by way of Mary's womb. That's talking about Jesus coming taking to Himself a true human soul and a true human body in which the Scripture says He went down to Nazareth and He was subject to Mary and Joseph and He grew in wisdom and stature in favor with God and with man so that when the Scripture says He was holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners it means He never in heart

34:42 or in word or deed ever threw over the gracious yoke of Mary and Joseph as His appointed parents in the period of His development as a child and a young man. This grace has appeared in a person. To what end? Verse 12.

35:00 Instructing us. Jesus has come in the uniqueness of His person and in the glory and perfection of His saving work to this end instructing us to this intent that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts let's extrapolate instructing us to the intent that denying the ungodliness of today's youth subculture. That's a form of ungodliness. And grace has appeared in the person and work of Jesus to this intent that you children and you young people might deny this ungodliness

35:42 and this worldly lust. This lust to be accepted by the subculture of youth that denying these things we should live. How? Soberly and righteously.

35:58 Obey your parents for this is right. That we should live soberly in touch with reality. We should live a life that is governed by the right including obeying and honoring parents. Jesus has come to the end that that might be true of you as a child and of a young person.

36:22 You might live soberly, righteously and godly in this present age. Looking for the blessed hope and appearing of the glory of the great God in our Savior Jesus Christ. Recognizing that our time here is brief and the consummation of that salvation that He has begun in us that has rescued us from being a slave of this world's lusts and its standards and its acceptance. We've been freed from it to the end that Christ might eventually totally conform us to His likeness at His coming.

36:57 And so we look for the blessed hope and appearing of the glory of the great God in our Savior Jesus Christ. And this is what undergirds it all. Who gave Himself for us to this end in order that a clause of purpose He might redeem us from all iniquity. Purify to Himself a people for His own position.

37:22 For His own possession. He's jealous with holy love. He wants us. He wants all of us.

37:31 I was telling the brethren in looking up one of the texts in Proverbs it shocked me to realize it had the word heart in it. I wanted to find the text in Proverbs 23 I think it's 29. My son, give me your heart. And I'm going to use that in connection with my second exhortation God willing two weeks from tonight.

37:50 I counted up, you know there are five references to the heart in the book of Proverbs. All that practical instruction is not just wooden externalism. It has to do with the heart. And Christ died for us that He might redeem us from all iniquity.

38:06 Purify to Himself a people for His own possession that He might have our hearts. And if He has our hearts He'll have all the rest of us. A people zealous consumed with holy fire for good works that is those works that bring glory to Him and honor to His beloved Son. We come to the table.

The Cross as the Source of Deliverance and a New Heart

38:31 Here we take bread and we break it. A symbol of the body that Jesus took. The body in which He lived. The body in which He died.

38:40 That body broken for sinners. We take the fruit of the vine and the cup and we drink it. And what do we say? We're saying that all of our sins are forgiven because Jesus in His body died.

38:54 By His blood shed for us has provided an atonement for sin. We're preaching His death until He comes, Paul says. And you young people and children who have faced these issues today and say, Pastor, no way. No way I can extricate myself from the grip of the pull and the pressure of my peers and of everything around me.

39:18 How in the world can I? Jesus died to deliver you. He gave Himself for us that He might redeem us from all iniquity. Purify to Himself a people for His own possession.

39:31 Zealous of good works. And He will do it. You see, the key is you've got to put yourself in His hands. You've got to commit yourself to Him.

39:38 You've got to entrust yourself to Him and say, Lord Jesus, You do in me and for me what I have no power to do. I can't cleanse my sins. I can't break this slavery to the world and its standards and its pressure. Lord Jesus, do for me what I can't do for myself.

39:55 And He does that. He delights to do it. Nothing makes Jesus happier than when sinners entrust themselves to Him. You parents who at times despair as you see your kids flirting with this youth subculture and as a result they get a bit testy and irritated with your standards and your guidance and your government and your rule, let that be a signal to cry to God for the outpouring of His Spirit in saving mercy.

40:29 And when you deal with those kids, just don't deal with the externals. Let those opportunities of having to deal with their rebellion be an opportunity to press upon them their depravity and their need of a new heart and their need of the cleansing of the blood of Christ. Deal with their hearts. My son, give me your heart.

40:53 May God grant that in the coming days it will be evident that through the preaching of the Word today God was pleased to get hold of the hearts of some of you children and young people in new ways. Thank God I know there's some of you. I had one young lady come to me prayer meeting night saying how God had dealt with her, that she had begun to waffle and cave in to peer pressure. Where?

41:18 Not down in New York on 42nd Street. But right there. Right here in Trinity Church. Right here in Trinity Church.

41:24 Teenage friends who wanted to cave in and compromise the standards of her parents. And she said God dealt with her. And I put my arm around her and encouraged her and I said anybody in this place, any place that tries to detach you from your parents you look them in the eye and say you're no friend of mine. Stop it or you're out of my life.

41:45 And if you feel lonely there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. And to be able to know the companionship of Jesus will more than compensate for the loss of any earthly friends. So as we come to the table may the consideration of these things bring us back to the centrality of the cross and to the person and work of our blessed Lord Jesus by whom alone any one of us can live as we ought to live in this wicked and perverse generation. Let's pray.

Prayer for Deliverance and God's Praise

42:21 Father we're so thankful that we have your word as a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway. Thank you for the privilege we've had today of considering afresh your clear commands to children. Your clear and wonderful promises and your sobering warnings. And pray that to the extent that this warning and exhortation that I've given tonight based upon these biblical principles to the extent that I've rightly analyzed and understood this issue of this youth subculture.

43:03 Lord attest by your spirit the truth of it in the hearts of these children and young people and by your grace deliver them from the horrible whirlpool that will suck them down into perdition. Pray now that as we come to the table our hearts may be filled afresh with the wonder of the love of Christ and the power of his grace. Meet with us for your praise and for our good. We ask in Jesus name.

43:33 Amen.