Avoiding Hypocrisy

The Relevance and Foundational Presuppositions of Child Training

0:00 How not to foul up the training of your children. This is cassette number two in a series given by Pastor Albert N. Martin in the adult Sunday school class of the Trinity Baptist Church on January 13, 1991.

0:17 Now, two weeks ago, we had occasion to use this class in order to consider the subject of child abuse with the focus not upon the horrible reality of the sexual molestation of children, but in a much more general sense. And in the light of the response from you as the Lord's people and the constraints of pastoral concerns upon my own heart, we will address that subject again today, and God willing, next Lord's Day, when I will have the privilege, the privilege of teaching the adult class again. Now, as we take up the subject, I trust there is not a one of you who feels that the subject is irrelevant to you. Many of you are presently parents with children still in their minority, that is, under legal age and under the care of your homes. For you, the relevance is very patent. Others of us...

1:25 Parents or grandparents with responsibilities to be in the wings as sort of a quality control and court of counsel to help our own children in the rearing of their children and to make sure that we stand with them in the implementation of their perspectives on the training of their children so that we, as grandparents, may not be guilty of the various forms of child abuse that we may have avoided in the rearing... of our own children, but in the softness and in the erosion that so often comes with advancing years, would be guilty of child abuse, not of our own children, but of our grandchildren.

2:09 And then there are others of you that I know hope someday to be parents. For some of you, there's another hope in between, that God might give you a husband or a wife, and that in the blessing of God upon that union, you would bear children. And even if you don't, even if you don't fit any of those categories now or ever, we do have responsibilities one to another that touch any area of biblical duty. Hebrews 10.24 says, we are to provoke one another unto love and to good works. And you who may never be married, never be parents or grandparents, and do not have children, you still have brothers and sisters who do. And you have obligations to them, to provoke them unto love and to good works. And the more accurate your understanding of these biblical perspectives is, the more you will be able lovingly to assist your brothers and sisters who, in God's will, have this awesome responsibility of the care of their children.

3:15 And then also, in the light of Galatians 6.1, we are to seek to provide a climate of gracious restoring of one another if faults are perceived. And whatever our relationship to children may be directly, all of us have some relationship to children and their parents. And Galatians 6.1 says, if a brother be overtaken in a fault, ye who are spiritual restore such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. So, as I've tried to think through the various categories of the members of this congregation, I don't believe there's a one of you who is exempted from the relevance of our subject. Now, briefly, by way of review, let me set before you two crucial matters before resuming our discussion of these issues. When we took up the subject two weeks ago, I set before you what I call the undergirding presuppositions for our discussion.

4:18 The presuppositions that undergird all of our discussion, in other words, in other words, our discussion is dedicated upon, it assumes the existence of these two vital presuppositions, one of them being the fundamental duty of Christian parents is outlined in Colossians 3.21 and in Ephesians 6.4. Fathers, do not irritate or embitter your children so that they do not become disheartened.

4:52 And Ephesians 6.4, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord. So, presupposition number one is that those two texts give a distillation in outline form of the comprehensive duty of Christian parents. And then the second presupposition is that these duties require the righteous use of spanking and authoritative verbal, direction and correction.

5:28 These duties require the righteous use of spanking and authoritative verbal direction and correction. This is very clear in Ephesians 6.4. We are to nurture our children by means of discipline and admonition.

5:49 Admonition is authoritative direction and correction of our children. Now, this is unpopular in our day. We are told that it will somehow twist, it will stifle, it will warp the emerging ego and psyche of our children if we impose upon them our value systems. Ever hear anything like that?

6:13 Well, you see, insofar as our value systems are derived from the word of God, not only is that sheer nonsense, it's a blatant lie and contradicts what the word of God says we're to do. We are to nurture, not cramp and stifle and warp our children by admonition, authoritative direction and correction. Those are the things by which they are nourished. No wonder the prophet Isaiah said, Woe be unto them who call good evil and evil good.

6:45 For that's exactly the climate in which we live in our day. And likewise, with corporal punishment or spanking, we are to rear them in the chastening, the chastening of the Lord. The word in that context meaning moral principles and lessons enforced by the judicious, wise use of the rabid correction, that term that is repeated again and again in the book of Proverbs, Proverbs 22.15, 32.24, and a host of other texts. So those are our two presuppositions for any who were not with us. Please do not raise those questions. Those are our given.

7:25 That's what we're committed to in the light of scripture. And then I sought to set before you a working definition of the kind of child abuse to which we, the people of God, are liable. Not the kind of child abuse that only the unconverted are guilty of, but the kind that you and I in the context of being true believers and desirous of obeying the word of God may to one degree or another be able to do. Be guilty of.

Defining Child Abuse Among God's People

7:56 And this is the definition that I gave you as a working definition, and we will keep making reference to it throughout our discussion. I defined it as a sustained pattern of exasperating or provoking a child to anger or sustained neglect of those means ordained for the child's nurture or an aggravated act of inflicting permanent damage to the body or spirit of the child. And the key words are sustained pattern. No parent is perfect in his parenting.

8:40 And no one is saying or should say that we are guilty of child abuse if upon reflection, at the end of the day, we realize that perhaps in a given area of chastening or admonition or correction, we were a bit overly forceful or we were a bit too indulgent. But that's not the overall pattern. It's like the marks in diving. You throw out the highs and the lows and then you take the ones in the middle and they're representative of that particular dive.

9:15 Well, we're talking about a sustained pattern. I would not want any tender-hearted child of God who is committed to be the best parent at the time. The grace of God can make him or her to think that they have been guilty of child abuse because they know they've not been perfect parents. No, we're not talking about the occasional acts in which we fail, but a sustained pattern of exasperating or provoking our children to anger or a sustained pattern of neglecting, chastening, or admonition.

9:54 Okay. In addition to that, God's people could be guilty of child abuse by an aggravated act which did permanent damage to the body or to the spirit of the child. There are times when God's children lose their temper and lose control. They ought not to do it.

10:15 If loss of temper is a pattern, a man is not a Christian. The Bible makes that clear. Anger and wrath are listed in Galatians 5, 19 and 20. As the works of the flesh and those who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

10:32 Railers, those guilty of a pattern of abusive, destructive speech are not members of the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians chapter 5 and 6. But a true child of God, the meekest man on the face of the earth, lost his temper.

10:52 And for that, he did not enter the land of promise. And for that one act, he was forbidden to go into the land. And so a child of God, in a fit of temper, could be guilty of an act that inflicts permanent damage upon the body or the spirit of his child. And if so, he is guilty of child abuse.

11:13 Thank God it's not the unpardonable sin, but it is nonetheless the sin of child abuse as we are defining it. Well then, having given that review and clarification of our presuppositions, and our working definition, I then opened up the class for discussion, and there were a number of helpful observations from you with reference to ways in which, according to that definition,

The Overall Climate of the Home: Spiritual Radon and Asbestos

11:43 based upon these presuppositions, we might be guilty of the sin of child abuse. And as I wrestled with how best to use these two, possibly three, remaining sessions on this subject, something in me wanted to, just throw it out again to have your input, but then I thought, no, if we don't now begin to give some organizing categories to these things, that pretty much will all vaporize within a matter of weeks. And so what I want to do this morning is to take up the first of several categories within which this kind of child abuse can occur among the people of God. And the first category is what I'm describing as the overall, the overall climate of the home in which the children are being nurtured. That was a pretty good circle for the first time, all right? The overall climate, let me call it the emotional and spiritual air that floats through that home as this mom, we'll put some legs on her soon, and this broad-shouldered dad seek, to rear these children in a biblical way. And much child abuse among the people of God

13:09 occurs in what I am describing as the overall spiritual and emotional climate of the home. Now let me explain what I mean. If the child abuse we are talking about is a sustained pattern which exacerbates or dispirits or provokes to anger our children, then obviously there can be a climate in the home emotionally and spiritually which does exasperate, dispirits, or provoke to anger. Furthermore, if, according to our definition, child abuse is the sustained neglect neglect of the appointed means for the nurture of the child, then we must address the issue of the spiritual and emotional climate of the home which will in great measure determine whether the admonition and the correction produce their desired effects.

14:22 And someone may be properly administering the rod in the technical analysis

14:30 of what provokes the spanking and how much spanking is given, but if it is not in a proper emotional and spiritual climate, it can neutralize the sanctifying influence of the rod. And likewise with reference to admonition. Let me put it this way as I was seeking to illustrate it. You see, there might be a home that in terms of its overall physical appearance speaks of order, of warmth, of livableness, but a climate in the external appearance, everything about it saying this is a place where children could be nurtured with delight and with comfort and effectiveness. However, suppose the parents know they've had the test done and they know that there are frighteningly high levels of radon coming up through the cellar floor and the children are being constantly exposed to unseen but real influences that could create early symptoms of deadly cancer. And they do nothing about it because the kids don't know. What they don't know won't hurt them.

15:54 Suppose upon further investigation they find out that there are inordinately high levels from an older coating of pipes throughout the house with asbestos insulation, and they have a forced hot air heating system that is constantly circulating minute, invisible, but real particles of asbestos that the children are breathing into their lungs. Now, would those parents be justly charged with child abuse if their children were discovered to have various forms of cancer in their twenties? Yes or no? Yes, they could probably even legally be charged if it could be proven that they knew of the conditions and did not correct them. Now, what was the problem? There was a climate, an atmospheric condition that very really but imperceptibly

16:54 the children were breathing day after day that was preparing to take them to an early grave. Now, in the same way...

17:05 Christian parents, through carelessness, through unwillingness to mortify certain sins in their own hearts, through spiritual laziness and a host of other sins, can fail either to create the wholesome climate essential to effective parenting, or can tolerate the

17:31 radon and the asbestos of unmortified children. Now, did you ever think that a person with a child is an infidel when he or she is emotionally under the influence of grief, and that he or she is sent to a mental asylum, is then given over to a spiritual state of real anguish, without real feeling of the pain of life and of the material world? Well, there is a certain point when you approach a child that is really in the middle of the world, and the nature of life, and the nature of the people around them, and that is that he or she has a feeling of great displeasure that is tapaist, that his or her mind is in a state of deep depression, and that he or she is going to choose to give up the life that he or she has already given up. This is a spiritual condition that when And at the top of the list of those means is, under God, the creation of an overall spiritual and emotional climate in the home that will cause those God-ordained means, under the blessing of the Holy Spirit, to be effectual in the lives of our children. Now let's try to identify some of the spiritual asbestos and radon.

Hypocrisy: Saying But Not Doing (Matthew 23:1-4)

18:40 And I have, and I'll do a little more lecture in the first part, and then I'll open it up for you to give me the feedback on the results of these various forms of spiritual radon and floating asbestos. But let me set before you three with reference to the overall spiritual and emotional climate of the home. Number one, when a home is characterized by hypocrisy as opposed to sincerity, then, then, then, When the climate of a home is characterized by hypocrisy in the parents, as opposed to sincerity and reality, that home is constantly filled with the noxious radon that will destroy the souls of our children. And what are the primary characteristics of such hypocrisy, as opposed to sincerity, as opposed to sincerity and reality? Well, I know of no concentrated exposure of that horrible sin of hypocrisy that is given in Matthew 23. So let's turn there together and look briefly at three or four of the major characteristics of hypocrisy.

20:09 Our Lord is speaking to scribes and Pharisees, but the principle is those who are to lead and nurture others, could not truly lead and nurture them because they were hypocrites and they themselves were not real. And what are the marks of that hypocrisy when it begins to work itself out in the actual relationships between the leaders and those who are led? Well, look at the first one right at the beginning of the chapter. Then spoke Jesus to the multitudes and to his disciples, saying, The scribes and the Pharisees sit on, All things whatsoever they bid you, these do and observe. As long as they're quoting Moses, you better mind them, because Moses was a prophet of God. And when they sit in Moses' seat and they read from the law and the prophets, obey them. But then he says, Do not ye after their works.

21:17 Obey them when they're quoting scripture. Don't follow them. In the way they live. But do not ye after their works, for they say, and in the context, they say, for whose purpose?

21:32 For the purpose of guiding others. And that's the context. They weren't sitting in Moses' seat just quoting the scripture because they love to hear it. Disciples were gathered before them.

21:44 Their followers were gathered before them. So they were saying with a view to giving instruction to others. But they themselves were not involved. Obeying those instructions in their own lives.

21:56 They say, but they do not. Verse 4. They bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders. Oh my, can they set out the duties of others until the man is like someone laden down with a load three times heavier than an ordinary man can carry.

22:19 They will not so much as reach out and take a finger of that load. Put it on their own backs. But they themselves will not move them with their finger.

22:31 Now, you want to create a climate of hypocrisy and lack of reality? That is one of the most vicious forms of child abuse. And here's all you need to do. Be conversant enough in the scriptures to be able to bring to bear upon your children the word of God with regard to honesty.

22:55 Integrity, sensitivity to others, doing unto others as you would they should do unto you, and all of the moral precepts of the word of God, but then fail to embody them in your own life, and fail to be blood honest and earnest in confessing your failures before your children. Walk before them as though nothing happened. When you have failed to keep the very commandments and precepts that you've laid upon their consciences, and you know what you're doing? You are creating a climate in the home of hypocrisy and the absence of reality. And what will it do? It'll provoke your children to wrath. It'll provoke them to discouragement.

23:50 And hear me carefully. It'll create the worst kind of cynicism. And hardness to the gospel. Because they will project to every other adult who tries to teach them the word of God the hypocrisy which you manifest in them.

24:12 And they say the preacher's just like mom and dad. He can stand up there and thunder and thump and tell us what to do, but I bet you he doesn't do it himself. Because the closest, most active, the most thorough exposure. They have to authority figures teaching the word of God are their parents.

24:33 Should we hold them guilty if they project to all other figures of authority of lesser intimacy the idea that they probably operate just like mom and pop do? That's the first mark of the horrible radon of hypocrisy that creates a climate of vicious child abuse. Look at the second one in verses. Verses 16 to 22.

Hypocrisy: Glaring Inconsistencies and Artificial Distinctions (Matthew 23:16-22)

25:04 This is not exhaustive. I just want to pick out the ones that are most applicable to the whole. Woe unto you, you blind guides that say, whosoever shall swear by the temple is nothing. But whosoever shall swear by the gold of the temple, he is a debtor.

25:22 In other words, if someone says, I swear by, not Solomon, it would be then, Herod's temple. They say, that oath doesn't bind you. But if you say, I swear by the gold of Herod's temple, now you're bound to keep your oath. They made a distinction between a generic swearing by the temple and a swearing by the gold of the temple.

25:46 One bound you, the other didn't bind you. Verse 17. You fools and blind. For which is greater, the gold or the temple that hath sanctified the gold?

25:59 He says, if you're going to do it, do it the other way around. For what's greater? The gold or that which has turned the gold from common precious metal into a sacred thing by its being part of the temple, which is a sacred object set apart to God? Which is greater, the gold or the temple which sanctifies the gold?

26:22 If you're going to play games, at least say, a man's boundly swears by the temple, but not by the gold. But you folks are so full of hypocrisy and artificial distinctions, even on the basis of common sense, you've got it screwed up. And turned around, standing on his head. Then he goes on to say, you fools and blind.

26:40 Verse 18. Whosoever shall swear by the altar, oh, that's nothing. You can say, I swear by the altar in the temple. Someone said, that doesn't really bind you.

26:50 But, whosoever shall swear by the gift that is upon the altar, he's a debtor. That is, he's really bound to his oath. So here they made another very artificial, arbitrary distinction in terms of which oath would bind you in terms of the object. The object by which you swore in making that oath.

27:08 You blind, for which is greater, the gift or the altar that sanctifies the gift? The same mentality. He therefore that swears by the altar, swears by it and by all things thereon. He that swears by the temple, swears by it and by him that dwells therein.

27:25 He that swears by the heavens, swears by the throne of God and by him that sits thereon. Now, if you were to try to identify this element, of their gross hypocrisy, in relationship to moral and ethical obligations, I want you to keep the context in mind now, you see. An oath bound you. The mark of a righteous man is he swears to his own hurt and what?

27:50 He keeps it. So this has to do with people binding other people's consciences to moral duty. Now, wherein lay their hypocrisy? Can you articulate this?

28:02 Anyone want to try to extrapolate? The principle that's in this paragraph I've just read to you? Well, I think if we fished long enough, we'd get it. But in the interest of time, let me tell you how I've expressed it.

28:19 I called it their ability to be guilty of the most glaring inconsistencies and glossing over the inconsistencies by the clever use of words. And that they were doing in moral and ethical issues? They were guilty of the most glaring inconsistencies, Jesus exposed them. But they glossed it over for the common people by a clever use of words.

28:50 Well, you say, Christian parents don't do that, do they? Oh, don't they? The parent says to the child who's just gotten into a squabble with his brother or sister, Now what? Cause this and you sort out the things.

29:05 Now son, now sweetheart, you should not lose your temper like that and punch your brother and your sister. A few minutes later, after the child's received a spanking for losing his temper, they see you come home from work, or you come in from the garage, or see the wife come in from shopping, whatever the circumstances may be, and over some slight provocation, they hear the sharp words between mommy and daddy, and when in their innocence they say, Daddy, isn't that being angry at mommy? You just keep your place and honor me. There's a place for righteous anger.

29:45 You don't know the circumstances. Now don't you be so impudent as to raise a question about what I say to your mother again. Do you understand me? What is that, ye hypocrites?

29:56 What in the child was the sin of an ungoverned spirit is in you a righteous response to your husband or wife's ineptitude. You don't think the kids see through that hypocrisy? I tell you, that's potent radon. When you can gloss over, glaring inconsistencies in the matter of binding ethical and moral responsibilities by the clever use of words of vicious form, because it both confuses the conscience of the child, it provokes in the child a sense of uncertainty. It seems to me like daddy was mad at mommy. You foul up that child's ability to discern what is unrighteous anger and righteous anger, what is a proper expression of anger, what is an improper expression, and what you're saying with your mouth in terms of what you're doing with your life is not only to be guilty of the first category of hypocrisy, demanding standards in the children which you yourself do not follow or exemplify,

31:23 but you're guilty of unrepented of, unacknowledged, glaring inconsistencies glossed over by the clever use of words. Now look at the third category of hypocrisy. And I don't find this pleasant, dear people, but this is necessary if we're going to avoid being justly charged with the child abuse as we have defined it. No court will deal with you this way, but God's court will.

Hypocrisy: Perversion of Biblical Values (Matthew 23:23-24)

31:51 And that's what we're concerned about. God's court. Look at verses 23 and 24. What do we have here?

32:01 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and anise and cummer. You went over to your friend's house for a meal, and instead of bringing some after-eat dinner mints or bringing a box of chocolates, you brought him a little bag of slices that you grew in the backyard. And you wrapped them up in a very nice package, and it just was a lovely expression.

32:27 And before Mrs. Finkelstein put them on the shelf, she takes them out and she takes her little scales and she weighs them. She says, Here's five grams of mint. Five...

32:43 Okay. Half a gram must be tithed. So she takes a little half a gram and puts it in a little bag to take up to the temple. And she does that with the...

32:52 This is what the Lord is saying they did. Can you picture it now? Can you see Mrs. Finkelstein in her kitchen doing this?

32:58 With her husband over her shoulder, making sure she's doing it right. You've got full tithe, mint, anise, cummer. Make sure that we are good tithers. Everything!

33:15 Remember the Lord with thy substance and the firstfruits of all thine increase. Even a tenth of your after-dinner mints. You tithe mint and anise and cummer. Look what he says.

33:30 You have left undone the weightier matters of the law, justice and mercy and faith. But these you ought to have done and not to have left the other undone. Now notice what this constituted then. You blind...

33:48 Let's stray out the gnat and swallow the camel. And here the Lord uses a grotesque illustration. I have some people at times accuse me of being a little less dignified because I use grotesque illustrations. Well, you accuse your Lord then too, will you?

34:06 Because he uses a grotesque illustration. If you were in Palestine and you were drinking wine, it first became wine when the grapes were poured into an open stone of the size of these little...

34:19 eight-foot outdoor pools, you know, that you buy at Bradley's. Not so deep. And they would hollow out the stone and then there would be a hole that they would plug up at the bottom of that. The graves would be thrown in and then they would be trampled with their feet.

34:36 That's why the Old Testament speaks of that whole imagery of trampling the grapes of God's wrath. And in the Battle Hymn of the Republic that imagery is taken from Scripture. And so you would trample...

34:50 And so you would trample it out. Well, obviously, if it's being trampled out in the open air, if there are any fruit flies around and all the rest and they happen to get too close and sip too much, boom, they're done. And so what would happen is, well, they'd get mixed in with the juice that would come out and would be placed into the tied-off appendages of the goat skin, a new fresh goat skin, and then the top would be tied and then the wine would be set out to be used and then, of course, it would ferment, and then you have the whole imagery the Lord Jesus said. You can't put new wine into old wineskins.

35:25 Be hung upon a tripod and then when you wanted some of the wine, you'd open up the left foreleg and let some come out and tie it off again. But now, given the circumstances in which it first got trampled, you wouldn't want to put it straight into your glass. So they'd take a piece of muslin and they'd lay it over the vessel and when they brought it out of the wineskin, it had to pass through the muslin into the glass and all the little flies and fleas that dropped in or drank too much and kicked over and died in the wine, they're all filtered out. So here's the picture.

36:03 Here's the guy meticulously, he's got a special guest meticulously preparing his glass of wine. Maybe strains it twice. Make sure not even a foot of a flea gets through. And then he says, you come, you come, and you serve up the glass of wine and he's very meticulous too and he looks through and he holds it up to the light and says, oh, it looks very beautiful.

36:25 No, no, fleas, feet, wings, noses, nothing. That's lovely. And just as he's about to take his wine, he sets it down, the camel steps inside the tent and gets inside the glass. Now you say, how do you get a camel in a glass?

36:43 Well, you can't. It's a grotesque, exaggerated, bizarre figure of speech. But Jesus used it. And lo and behold, the guy who was so careful to make sure there were no gnats, he doesn't even see the camel and he swallows down his wine with a whole camel humping off.

36:58 Now you look at the passage and if that isn't what the figure is, then you tell me what it is. You strain out, swallow it. Yes, bizarre, far out figure of speech, but how powerful. Now what is Jesus illustrating in this?

37:22 You tithe mint and anise and cumin, but justice, mercy and faith are left undone. You make sure your wine is in no way defiled or polluted or spoiled aesthetically by a flea's wing and yet you'll swallow down a whole camel. What is Jesus talking about here? What was the climate that thus constituted them blind guides?

37:48 Another very, very striking imagery. And you state in a few words what Jesus is isolating here. Someone want to take a stab at it? Again, I think if we fidget about it, it's long enough we get it.

38:08 This is the way I stated it. When there is an obvious perversion and distortion of relative Biblical values. When there is an obvious perversion or distortion of relative Biblical values. Did God say to ancient Israel, give a tithe of all you possess?

38:37 Honor the Lord with thy substance and the firstfruits of all thine increase? Did God require that? Yes. But in how many places did God require that?

38:47 You can number them on one hand. But in what places in the old covenant revelation did God require justice and mercy and faith? Genesis to Malachi. It is one to another that their kings execute justice in the land.

39:20 The prophets are full of calls to justice in Israel's dealings. One with another. God again and again emphasizes mercy. He shows his own mercy to his people in spite of all of their backslidings and their waywardness.

39:38 And in the old testament he said, I will have mercy and not sacrifice. God again and again emphasized through the words of the prophets and by his own dealings with his people that mercy was to be the dominant characteristic of his people and faith. The heroes of faith are listed in Hebrews 11. The vast majority are old testament characters.

40:07 The whole idea that the old testament was law, do and live. And the new testament is faith, live and do. That's nonsense. God always called his people to a life of faith.

40:21 A life of living on the basis of the word of God in the unseen world. The unseen world of spiritual reality which will always produce a life of likeness to God and heavenly mindedness. But you see these blinds, in other words they were no more fit to be guides to the path of another than a blind man is fit to guide someone through a dangerous path and by the edge of a craggy precipice. Dear parents, you want to be guilty of the most vicious form of child abuse?

40:58 Then you create this kind of climate in your home. A climate in which there is an obvious perversion and distortion of biblical values and relative biblical values. A home in...

41:20 No, no. Do you ever dare smoke? Ever dare a motion picture theater, a commercial one? Don't you ever dare...

41:33 Now, am I advocating smoking? No. Am I advocating going to commercial motion fiction theaters? No.

41:40 I don't go to them myself. The ones I've attended in my adult years since I've been a Christian can be numbered on one hand and possibly one finger of the other. And I could name them. I've not smoked since I was 17 years of age.

42:03 So don't anyone go out and say I'm trying to feather my bet. No. But here's a home in which a child's moral values are in terms of the gnats, of smoking, theater attendance. And so this kid gets his behind won't never having a chance to get his side of it.

42:38 He who presents his case first seemeth just but his neighbor cometh and searcheth him out. Judge not according to appearance, Jesus said, but judge righteous judgment. And fathers and mothers call you to justice in your home. Though it may mean you've got to thrash out an issue for three hours before you can even begin to hope you've arrived at the facts.

43:04 But you will not administer punishment until you've done all you can to make sure it's just punishment. My friends, listen. I was reared in a family of ten kids, second oldest. I grew up changing diapers and washing dishes and scrubbing floors and seeing my mother use the old Maytag having to scrub them in one load and put them in the old soap tub and let them soak and then run them through the wringer.

43:32 And many a time I've run dozens of diapers through the wringer myself. And yet there was time to sit and soar tensions in a little house which until my dad and I put two rooms on it was like the nursery rhyme. There was an old woman who lived in a shoe had so many children she didn't know what to do. All of us crammed into a little six-room house part of the time we had a grandmother and an aunt staying with us.

44:03 So don't write me off as being an idealist. Under God we raised three children. At one point they were all under five years of age. And Mary comes in and presents a very convincing case why Johnny oughta whipped out of him.

44:30 Something more important than having a meal exactly on time and that is to administer justice in that spat between Johnny and Mary. And if you gotta meet your hubby at the door when he comes home and say Dear, I just began to put the meal together but this thing developed and I felt if I was to administer justice I had to work on it and I just got it resolved ten minutes ago. I'm sorry dear but I know you would rather I administer justice and have the meal exactly and if he's a godly man he'll take that woman in his arms and say dear I love you for not straining at the net of the ordinary meal time while swallowing the camel of an unjust administration of punishment in the home. How relevant this is? Because if you're to you've become a blind guide to the conscience of your children and you have sent them out into life with a distorted view of ethical and moral values and their relative import and weight. I didn't say it Jesus did.

45:58 I believe some of you are guilty of that kind of child abuse. You're a blind guide because while you would never think of staining your lips and polluting your lungs with a cigarette into your spirit day after day an unmerciful unjust unbelieving spirit may I say that a cigarette can't produce the moral cancer that unjust feelings with your children can. May send you to an early grave with lung cancer but it won't send your kids to hell because they have a distorted view of justice. It won't send them out into life with a distorted view of values. Do you hear me dear parents? Do you see it in the text or you're sitting there saying to yourself ah that Pastor Martin no no Jesus said Jesus said when you're more concerned of injustice the absence of mercy and faith you're a blind guide. Know that under God we might create a climate in our home that is marked not by hypocrisy hypocrisy that says do what I say not what I do.

47:25 Hypocrisy that makes artificial distinctions with words what is evidently an ungoverned spirit of anger in the kids is the righteous venting of my rights as a husband that majors on little issues. Yes they are little issues and we must be concerned we serve a meticulous God but doesn't see the distinction between a camel in your cup and a flea's foot and you're training your children you're training them that's why he called these people blind guides. They were guiding the conscience of Israel. No wonder the mob.

48:08 They couldn't say oh we dare not crucify Christ it's a feast day we've got to be pure on the feast and they weren't shocked at the thought of murdering the Son of God. Isn't that what we studied in Mark? Not on the feast day. We've got to keep the feast holy.

48:25 We can't go in to Herod or and then we can go eat your Passover with a good conscience. How'd they get that way? Blind guides who conditioned their conscience. And I tell you the hours I have to deal in my fellow elders with people.

Hypocrisy: Preoccupation with Externals (Matthew 23:25-26)

48:51 Who are the victims of blind guides and some of them were reared in homes that were supposedly Christian homes. Hypocrisy. One other characteristic that I want us to see in this passage though we're obviously not going to get through the things we had hoped I want you people to know I've come to a new determination that when I'm prepared and I'm adequately prepared all three things with the notes and the texts I'm not just going to get through an outline. I'd rather have one seed deeply planted than three scattered on the surface.

49:32 But look at the last characteristic that has such relevance for a Christian home and its atmosphere and climate. Verses 25 and 6. Woe unto you scribes Pharisees, hypocrites for you cleanse the outside of the cup and of the platter but within within they are full from extortion and excess. Thou blind Pharisee cleanse first the inside of the cup and of the platter in order that the outside thereof may become clean also. And basically what you have here in the interest of time I'll go right to the heart of it. They were preoccupied with externals and external appearance while tolerating gross internal vices. Jesus said the inside of their humanity was like a cup that hadn't been washed for months.

50:41 The outside was like a cup that had been washed and polished three times a day. You cleanse the outside but within you are. You want to create a climate in the home full of the poisonous noxious radon of hypocrisy then as a parent you just be more careful and concerned with how you appear to your children and to others than how you appear to God. Be more concerned with what your kids think you are than what God knows you are.

51:22 And you fit the picture perfectly. If you are not in the course of the day mourning before God over the signing board as a workman in the office in the shop on the road as you travel. When thoughts of pride and lust and selfishness and unjust anger seek to defile your spirit. If you are not crying out Oh Lord Jesus cleanse me by your blood.

51:55 Scour the inside. If I happen to find you looking at a girly magazine then you'd be concerned. If you can flash pictures on the wall of your mind a dozen times a day and not be concerned. You're creating the radon and the suspended particles of asbestos in your home.

52:25 And don't be surprised if your kids are afflicted with the cancer of being dispirited becoming cynical becoming convinced there ain't nothing and there ain't nobody real. The results in your children will be the direct opposite of the mandate of Colossians 3 and Ephesians 4. Fathers do not exasperate irritate your children that they be not dispirited. Fathers provoke not your children to anger.

A Challenge to Parents: Purge Hypocrisy from the Home

53:02 May I give a challenge in closing to you mothers and dads. I can think of no better way to spend an hour of this Lord's Day than for you moms and dads when the kids are down for their naps or down for their quiet time to be still to be rested for the evening service. Take these things and say oh God give us a little judgment day and if our home has anything of the radon and the suspended particles of the asbestos of hypocrisy as opposed to reality flood reality Lord show us if we're demanding in the children what we are not exemplifying Lord show us that when the kids get up from their naps we can have a family powwow and confess our sins to them. Lord show us if there are glaring inconsistencies that we're glossing over by the clever use of words and conning the consciences of our kids ask God to show you and then be ready to confess it to the kids when they get up from their naps if they're old enough and if there's been an obvious perversion and distortion of relative biblical values identify those areas confess them to the Lord and when the kiddies get up from their naps confess it to those

54:29 tell them by the grace of God you're done with this business and if you've been preoccupied with externals while tolerating gross internal vices tell God you're a blind guide and you want to be made a sighted guide and then tell your kids I believe there's some of you serious enough about the word of God to do what I've admonished you to do but I tell you the thing that breaks my heart is that I also believe there's some of you that will hear this kind of stuff attended I believe by God's Holy Spirit this morning and you won't do one thing about it God have mercy on you and on your children and I hope I've gone to heaven before I and my fellow elders have to try to pick up the mess that comes from your radon and your asbestos because somebody will have the mess our Lord

55:53 take it and lay it there will you not take your word this morning and search us to the depths of our being that where there is anything of the hypocrisy of the Pharisees and the scribes in us not as raining for we know that would be inconsistent with being in a state of grace but as an ugly facet of our remaining sin O God with David we pray search me O God and know my heart try me and know my thoughts see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting God bless those parents that already have resolved to follow the counsel given to spend some solemn time in your presence this afternoon and then wherever sin is discovered to confess it to you and where necessary to their children Lord would you not do a great work throughout this congregation today of purging our homes from this noxious radon and this deadly asbestos of hypocrisy and in its place grant the wholesome atmosphere

57:19 and air of reality transparency openness proper values O God do it we pray for the sake of your son for the good of the precious children who have times to us in this congregation in many ways hear our cry and answer us for Jesus' sake you have been listening to how not to foul up the training of your children by Pastor Albert N. Martin these cassettes are distributed by the Trinity book service