Common Failures: Non Use; Delayed Use

Public Retraction and Prayer

0:02 How not to foul up the training of your children. This is cassette number 12 in a series given by Pastor Albert N. Martin in the adult Sunday school class of the Trinity Baptist Church on March 31st, 1991. Now before we move into our study for today, I have a word of public retraction to make.

0:25 And I have written this out word for word, so you forgive me if I break all eye contact because I do want to word this very carefully before we pray and move into our study this morning. Several weeks ago, a number of you will remember that I spoke quite intensely about certain tapes that were circulating among some in our congregation. Tapes produced by someone who was left unnamed, but who was not what I designated a proven commodity among us as a recognition. I made several allegations which someone has pointed out to me were not accurate and if I were referring to this specific man and his tapes. And since my comments were based in part on reports relative to these tapes and other materials and not a first-hand listening to that particular set of tapes, though I did listen to one. A full set of five tapes, I was on that occasion inadvertently bearing false witness concerning this man, unnamed, and his teaching. For any of you who made a similar connection between my remarks and this particular teacher

1:54 and his tapes, I trust you will forgive me for any offense taken and that any erosion in my credibility will be forgiven. And this accountability, in your eyes, will be restored. Now, in making this confession of inaccurate accusation, though unnamed, I am not giving public endorsement to the teacher and to the tapes, which were primarily in my mind when I made those remarks. Rather, I'm confessing that I was careless in making even nameless allegations, which according to the brother who spoke to me, me, who has carefully listened to the tapes, were contrary to fact at certain points. I think that's all I need to say, and if that is all going right over your head, good and well, well and good. But if it makes sense to you, I trust you will accept it as a sincere public acknowledgement of my fault in this matter. Now, as we come to take up our very vital subject this morning, of the most frequent failures in connection with the physical chastening of our children,

3:11 let us ask for the aid of the Holy Spirit upon our study together. Our Father, the things that Pastor Dixon has related to us fill us with a sense of horror, of grief, of anger against error, who propagate it. We are filled with a sense of pity that during these days of the so-called holy week there in the Philippines, the backs of men are laid bare with whips and others actually allowing spikes to be driven into their hands and feet, somehow thinking by their pains and their reenactment of aspects of the sufferings of Christ, they will contribute to their own salvation. And oh God, how we are stirred to pray that you would indeed cause the gospel to come into such horrible darkness and such perversion of the truth of Christ crucified, the only hope of sinners. Bless your dear servants who carry on a witness there in the Philippines, and help us who have the legacy of an open Bible and the gospel of Christ. The gospel proclaim to us in its purity that it is not our pains but the pains of Christ

4:35 which are the grounds of our hope. Oh, that we may show our gratitude by lives of great and diligent obedience to all of your precepts. To this end, help us as we further consider together the teaching of your word with respect to this crucial means in the molding of our children. May the Holy Spirit be our teacher, inclining our hearts to obey all that you will say to us. We ask through our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Necessity and Functions of Physical Chastening

5:15 Now, for those of you visiting with us, we have been engaged for several months in a study together in the adult class on what has now been entitled a series on the subject How Not to Foul Up the Training of Your Children. And having established from the scriptures the crucial importance of attaining and maintaining within our homes a climate that is marked spiritually by reality and transparency and emotionally a climate marked by warmth, closeness, acceptance, and goodwill between the parents and the children. The parents in one another and between the children and each other, we have now begun to examine the two major means that God has given us for the molding of our children. According to Ephesians 6-4, we are not to provoke them to anger, which of course relates to the climate of the home as well as the specific manner in which we train them, but to nurture them in the chastening and the admonition of the Lord. And what we have established is that we are not to provoke them to anger, but to nurture them in the chastening and the admonition of the Lord.

6:32 And what we have established thus far in taking up the matter of godly chastening is first of all the absolute necessity of physical chastening in the nurturing of our children. Secondly the godlike character of chastening in the nurture of our children. And then last week we went back to a number of pivotal texts which we had previously studied and we looked at the four major functions of physical chastening. The first of which is the chastening of the children.

6:59 The second is the chastening of the children. The third is the chastening of the children. The fourth is the chastening of the children. And finally the physical chastening in the nurture of our children.

7:05 God has ordained the rod of correction to teach submission in certain instances to be a form of retribution for wrongs committed, a form of instruction and a means of prevention. Submission, retribution, instruction and prevention. Now this morning we begin to consider together the most frequent failures in the course of in connection with the physical chastening of our children. And as I have gone over this material, and I believe God has given some fresh light from his word on this matter, I urge you not to take these things lightly, for if indeed chastening is one of the two major means ordained of God for the nurture of our children, its neglect or its misuse can only result in tragic, frightening, far-reaching negative consequences. Now at the head of the list in the biblical emphasis, in practical danger, and in actual fact, with reference to the most frequent failures in connection with the rod of corruption,

Failure 1: The Non-Use of the Rod of Correction (Proverbs 13:24)

8:25 is what I am designating the non-use of the rod of correction. The non-use of the rod of correction. And in the book of Proverbs, in those texts which most clearly emphasize the place of the rod of correction or physical chastisement in the nurture of our children, it is interesting that the warning with respect to its non-use, is the most frequently repeated warning. And I want you to look at three of those texts with me, and then under each one I shall be quoting several paragraphs from Bridges' comments in his commentary on the book of Proverbs. And I do this for two basic reasons. Number one, he has stated the issue so succinctly and powerfully and persuasively, that at certain points, Bridges, I thought, trust will be able to inform and persuade you more effectively than I could in my own words. And secondly, I hope it will convince you of the worth of this book, and that if it is not one of your household companions, it will be before long.

9:44 First of all then, as we consider the non-use of the rod of correction as perhaps its primary abuse, let us turn to three texts. Three clear texts of scripture. Proverbs chapter 13 and verse 24. Proverbs 13 and verse 24.

10:08 In this text, non-use is couched in the words sparing or spareth. He that spareth his rod hateth his son. But he that loveth him chastens him. Early or diligently.

10:30 Here it is called a sparing of the rod. And in the context, that sparing could either mean its total non-use, that is, adopting a philosophy of the nurture of our children, in which we become wiser than God, saying in essence, No, I can nurture my child by admonition. By admonition, instruction, persuasion alone. I do not need physical chastisement as a divinely appointed means I am wiser than God.

11:11 It can mean its total non-use, or it can mean its partial non-use in situations where the rod of correction is needed to teach submission, to give retribution, to give instruction, or to effect prevention, the rod is withheld. So whether it is a total non-use or a partial incomplete use, he that spares his rod is the term used to identify what I am calling non-use of the rod of correction. And why would anyone not use the rod of correction? Either totally refuse to use it, or not commit himself to a consistent application of the rod of correction. Well, the text tells us. It is because such parents hate their children. Now that's what the word of God says.

12:12 He that spareth his rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chastens him evermore. He that loveth him chastens him early or diligently. Now when it says that the reason for the non-use of the rod is that the child is hated, does Solomon mean to say that the parent is guilty in his non-use of the rod of feeling a conscious attitude of antipathy, ill-will, aversion, hostility, and a strong dislike for his child? Those are some of the synonyms for hate.

12:55 Ill-will, antipathy, aversion, hostility, strong dislike. No, it doesn't mean that at all. In fact, just the opposite is usually the case. The parent thinks that he has such measures of love that he cannot bring himself to chasten his child.

13:14 I love my child too much to bring the rod of correction to bear upon him, to subject him to pain, to pain and discomfort, and perhaps even to a temporary period of lessened, open-faced communion and interaction. So when the Scripture says he that spares his rod hates his son, it is not saying that the parent who spares the rod does so consciously thinking that he has ill-will and antipathy and hostility, and strong dislike for his child. But what it does mean, that is according to the Bible's definition of love, that principled selfless affection which seeks the good of its object at any cost to itself, reality is that he does indeed hate his child by his sparing of the rod. And all of the protestations of the parent notwithstanding, let God be true, and every parent a liar. Oh, I love my child, don't you? God says if you spare the rod, you hate your son.

14:39 That's what God says. The issue is not between you and Pastor Martin. It's not between you and a theory of pedagogy. It's between you and Almighty God.

14:53 Reality is not what you feel, and what you think. Reality is what God says. And God says in plain terms, the non-use of the rod has its rationale in hatred to the child who needs that rod. Hear Bridges, page 168, commenting upon this very text.

15:21 Among the many modern theories of education, how often is God's system overlooked? Yet should not this be our pattern and standard? The rod of discipline is its main character, not harsh severity, but a wise, considerate, faithful exercise of the rod, always aiming at the subjugation of the will and the humbling and purifying of the heart. Hear, however, God and man are at an issue.

15:57 Man often spares the rod because he, quote, loves the child. This, at least, he calls love. But is not our father's love to his children inconceivably more yearning than that of an earthly parent? Yet he does not spare the rod.

16:16 What son is he whom the father chastens not? Hebrews 12, 7. It is the rod, the proof of his hatred. No, whom the Lord loveth, he chastens.

16:30 Verse 6. Nay, he gives his divine judgment. He that spareth the rod hateth the child. Does he not act at least as if he hated him, omitting a duty so necessary for his welfare, winking at the indulgence of vicious habits and a wayward will, so surely issuing in bitter sorrow?

Failure 1: The Non-Use of the Rod of Correction (Proverbs 23:13-14)

16:55 Is not this delivering up the child to his worst enemy? Better that the child had been trained in the house of strangers than that he should be the unhappy victim of the cruelty of such parental love. So there's the first text that underscores that a great failure in the use of the rod is its non-use called sparing and the reason is people have not learned the application and the outworking of principled biblical love. Now, Proverbs 23, 13. Here, this first abnormality or failure, the non-use of the rod is described in another way. Proverbs 23 and verse 13. It's called withholding correction.

18:00 Withhold not correction from the child for though you apply the rod to him he will not die. Withhold not correction. Excuse me. And in the context, the correction envisioned is obviously physical chastisement.

18:28 For if you apply the rod of correction he will not die. So what is called sparing in 13.24 is here called withholding of correction. And what two causes are given in our text?

18:51 Well, the first is a distorted notion of its temporary negative effects. Withhold not correction from the child for though you beat him with the rod he will not die. Someone has the notion that the application of corporal punishment to the child puts him in the way of death. They have a distorted notion of its temporary negative effects.

19:23 Namely, his red behind and his cries of pain. God says to have the distorted notion that principled godly application of the rod will bring death is nonsense. It does not bring physical death. It doesn't bring psychological death.

19:44 It doesn't bring emotional death. Contrary to what the psychologists say. Contrary to what the experts say. God says he will not die.

19:57 And then the second reason people withhold is they have a spirit of unbelief with respect to its positive effects with the blessing of God. There is a distorted notion of its negative effects and then there is a spirit of unbelief with respect to its positive effects under the blessing of God. Verse 14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod and deliver his soul from hell. Think of it.

20:25 Do you know of any Christian parent who does not say whatever I long for my child I long that they shall be in heaven with me forever. I don't want them to go to the hell which they deserve for the nature they inherited from Adam through me and for the sins that they themselves will consciously and deliberately commit against God. I don't want them to perish. I want them to be saved and made fit for heaven by having a just record in the court of heaven and having a renewed nature by the power of the Spirit.

21:04 I want them in heaven and not in hell. Well, God says here is one of the great means of grace under the blessing of God to make sure they don't land in hell and that is the righteous faithful application of physical chastisement. And who would withhold from a child a major means of grace unless there is rank unbelief with respect to that means of grace. And so the two reasons according to this text for withholding correction are a distorted notion of its temporary negative effects.

21:47 Anyone who delights to see his kid cry and have a red bottom is sick is wicked. There are temporary negative effects upon the child and upon the parent. His grief and pain. Your grief and your inward pain.

22:03 But if you have a distorted notion that that temporary pain is causing permanent pain either to you or to the child you better get rid of it because God says if thou beat him with a rod he shall not die nor will you. And secondly the spirit of unbelief with respect to its positive effects I find it very difficult to listen and say Amen to anyone's prayers for the salvation of his children if he does not Amen his prayers with a loving faithful believing prayerful just application of the rod of correction. Third text Proverbs 29 15 Here the non-use of the rod is described in other terms which is letting the word of God speak its own message to us. Before we move to that text I said I was going to give you quotes from Bridges under each one and I want to do that again. On page 429 listen to Bridges who speaks on this very issue. He says We admit that it is revolting to give pain and to call forth the tears of those we so tenderly love.

23:19 But while hearts are what hearts are it is not to be supposed that we can train without discipline. If it be asked will not gentle means be more effectual? Had this been God's judgment as a God of mercy he would not have provided a different regimen. Eli tried them and the sad issue is written for our instruction.

23:41 Must I then be cruel to my child? Nay God charges thee with cruelty if thou withhold correction from him. He goes on in his own foolishness except he be restrained he'll die in his sin. God has ordained the rod to purge his sins and so deliver his soul from hell.

24:03 What parent then that trembles for the child's eternal destiny can withhold correction? Is it not cruel love that turns away from painful duty? To suffer sin upon a child no less than upon a brother is tantamount to hating him in our heart. Leviticus 19.17 Is it not better that the flesh should smart than that the soul should die? Is it no sin to omit a means of grace as divinely appointed as the word and the sacraments? Is there no danger of fomenting the native wickedness and thus become accessory to the child's eternal destruction? What if he should reproach you throughout eternity for the neglect of that timely correction which might have delivered his soul from hell?

Failure 1: The Non-Use of the Rod of Correction (Proverbs 29:15)

24:55 Or even if he be scarcely saved may he not charge upon him much of his increasing difficulty in the ways of God? That's serious business dear people. Withhold not either through a distorted notion of its temporary negative effects upon the child and upon you or in a spirit of unbelief with respect to its positive effects under the blessing of God. Now Hebrews 29.15 29.15 The rod and reproof give wisdom but a child left to himself causes shame to his mother. A child left to himself that's the terminology used for the non-use of the rod. You have sparing withholding correction now leaving the child to himself that is leaving him to the corrupt influences of his own native corruption and selfishness and rebellion without the check of loving consistent prayerful

26:07 balanced application of the rod and reproof. And what is the result? The text says such a child will bring shame to his parents who thus left him to himself. But particularly the mother is singled out brings shame to his mother.

26:35 Not that he will not bring shame to his father and there are other passages in the book of Proverbs where the shame of a wayward son or child is said to terminate upon the father but Bridges asks the question on page 571 of his commentary commenting on this verse. Why is it that the mother is singled out is the one who bears the shame of the child left to himself? Look at the child left to himself without restraint a more perfect picture of misery and ruin cannot be conceived. His evil tempers are thought to be the accident of childhood.

27:19 They will pass away as his reason improves. Time can only mend them but in fact time of itself mends nothing. It only strengthens and matures the growth of the native principle of evil. This being a decided bias to sin must tend to deadly injury.

27:40 The mother cannot conjecture the future stature, health, talents or prospects of her newborn infant but of one thing she may be absolutely certain a corrupt and wayward will will be found in that child. The poison does not appear at first. No special anxieties is excited. The child is not nurtured in wickedness or left under the influence of a bad example.

28:06 He is only left to himself. Left! The restive horse with his rein loosened full of his own spirit plunges headlong down the precipice. The child without government rushes on under the impetuous impulse of his own will and what but almighty sovereign grace can save him from destruction.

28:28 Many a hardened villain on the gallows was once perhaps the pleasing susceptible child only left to himself to his own appetite pride and self-willed obstinacy. Then he goes on to open up this whole matter and says why is the mother particularly mentioned? And I believe his answer is at least worthy of consideration. The mother only is mentioned as the chief superintendent of the early discipline.

29:03 I would use the word the chief administrator. The father is still the superintendent according to Ephesians 6.4. But she is the chief administrator in most cases because she has more time with that child in the period when the child is dependent upon her breast for its nourishment and she cares for all of its needs in its early dependiveness.

29:27 Perhaps also, the mother is most susceptible to the grievous error. For if the father's stronger character induces him to provoke his children to wrath to rule by command rather than by persuasion that's why God says fathers provoke not your children to wrath not mothers but fathers does not the mother's softer mold tend to the opposite evil? And so far as she yields to mistaken indulgence she bears the greater share of the punishment. It is not that she's brought to trouble or even to poverty but to that which is most keenly felt of all distress to shame.

30:09 Nowhere is God's retributive justice more strongly marked. The mother's sin is visited in the proportioned punishment. What greater neglect of obligation in the child left to himself what greater affliction than the shame to which he brings her. Parental injustice is lost the reverence of authority is forgotten as a bygone name.

30:35 The child rules instead of being as a corrected child in subjection. The parent fears instead of the child fearing and thus virtually owns her own degradation. Instead of the wise son that makes a glad father it is the foolish son that is the heaviness of his mother. The sunshine of bright prospects is clouded the cup of joy is filled with wormwood the father's mouth is dumb with confusion of grief the dearest object of the mother's tenderness instead of being the staff and comfort of her old age brings her to shame.

31:13 Children truly thus left to themselves will mingle the bitterest cup that man can ever have to drink and stir up the saddest tears that eyes can ever take this for certain says Bishop Hopkins that as many deserve stripes as you spare from your children you do but lay upon your own back and those whom you refuse to chastise God will make severer scourges to chastise you. My friends that strikes dread to my spirit when I think of all the precious little ones around this place what do they need to have as it were in the folds of their trousers and little dresses daggers to stick into you mother's hearts just leave them to themselves when they're playing in the living room and one is being manipulative you just go on with your work and ignore it ignore it ignore it mother to stop and sort out what's being done two times just leave them to themselves that's all you need to do mom and I'm not talking when they're six and eight and ten I'm talking when they're a year

32:39 and eighteen months just leave them to themselves let the patterns of manipulation and selfishness and greed and deception just leave them leave them and God will make a scourge of that to chastise you at whatever cost establish your authority let there be but one will in the house and let it be felt that this will is to be the law the child will readily discover whether the parent is disposed to yield or resolved to rule now listen carefully parents oh hear me however trifling the requirement let obedience be in small as great matters the indispensable point you see to your son or daughter now while mommy finishes this telephone call you go sit on that couch and if they go and sit on the chair next to it you stop the telephone call go in and establish your rule that's defiance to sit on the chair when you said the couch and if you leave the child to alter the terms

34:08 his will is ruling yes it is the character is the stalactite formation of patterns made up of the little things.

34:28 I grieve to see how some of you won't see it. I said you won't see it. These requirements need for people of a certain level of IQ.

34:45 It's just too much bother.

34:48 You're unwilling to take up the cross and deny yourself. And few things are more self-denying than the demands upon a mother in the nurture of the child in those early years.

35:03 How demanding. Have your eyes constantly open, praying for eyes in the back of your head, praying for six sets of ears, that as you go about your tasks, you're monitoring the character development of your children. You're not leaving them to themselves and to their siblings and to their little playmates. And to their toys.

35:32 And to their wicked hearts.

35:34 All you need to do is leave them to themselves, Mom. Mark it. Someday they'll cause you shame. However trifling the requirement, let obedience be in small as great matters the indispensable point.

35:49 The awe of parental authority is perfectly consistent with the utmost freedom of childlike confidence. Nay, it is the very foundation, the foundation of it, for the child can hardly appreciate the kindness of a parent whom he thinks is afraid to strike him. While it operates as a valuable safeguard against a thousand follies of uncontrolled waywardness, but ever let us put the awful alternative vividly before us, either the child's will or the parent's heart must be broken. You got it?

36:32 The child's will! Or your heart will be broken! One or the other. Without a wise and firm control, the parent is eventually miserable and the child is ruined.

36:51 Why do I read Bridges? Well, I said, because he said it better than I could. He's a proven commodity. He comes from a totally different generation.

37:02 But he is exegeting the Bible and making comments based upon responsible exposition. And why is observation of the ways of God? Dear parents, memorize these verses. Pray them in.

37:18 Read and re-read them. I urge you to purchase a copy of Bridges and Moms and Dads in your own times of devotions together. Read his comments upon these passages. Discuss them and how they apply to your own children in specific areas of need.

37:36 I beg of you, not to be a burden to your children. I beg of you, not to be a burden to your children. I beg of you, not to be a burden to your children. I beg of you, not to be a burden to your children.

Failure 2: The Delayed Use of the Rod of Correction (Proverbs 19:18)

37:39 Read the scripture. logo

37:46 I beg of you, not to be a burden to your children. Read the scripture.logo Again, as we consider the wisdom of God in Proverbs, there are two texts. One very clear.

38:06 The other of less certainty, but I still believe a valid text. The clear text is Proverbs 19.18.

38:15 With respect to the delayed use of the rod of correction, hear this text.

38:24 Chastened by sun, the ASV renders the particle, the Hebrew particle, seeing. But it's interesting that in at least two other places in the ASV, that same particle is rendered while there is hope. It's rendered that way in Lamentations 1.19, for example, and that's the way the old authorized translates it, and it's a perfectly valid translation as best I've been able to check into those whose knowledge of the Hebrew is respected and is well proven.

39:01 Mine is not, so I lean upon them and give us a valid translation. Chastened by sun while there is hope, and set not thy heart, on his destruction. Now the last part of the verse is much more difficult when we try to get a good translation. You'll notice the marginal reading, set not thy heart on his causing him to die, and some say that that means don't be excessive in your discipline, and others say no, it doesn't mean that, it means this.

39:33 But there is no question about the thrust and the import of the first part of the text. Chastened by sun, seeing, or while there is hope. Now what does that teach us? It teaches us that the time frame is crucial.

39:54 There is a time frame of hope, a time frame when we have reasonable expectations to believe that chastening will indeed accomplish its God-ordained ends of teaching submission, the principle of reconciliation, the retribution of imparting moral instruction, and the prevention of a thousand evils. There is a time frame in which this medicine is operative. Chastened by sun while there is hope. But there is a time frame, hope that he will be made submissive, industrious, honest, respectful, teachable, willing to receive correction and admonition, diligent, etc. etc. But there is a time frame, chastened by sun while there is hope. And one of the great failures in this matter of the use of the rod is the notion that somehow it isn't needed until they're three or four or five years old.

40:59 I've had people come to me with three years old. You think my child is old enough to begin the disciplining with the rod? I've said you may have forever blown it. Some of the more perceptive, godly men of a bygone day, made statements that if the will wasn't conquered in the first two years, it was unlikely it ever would be conquered.

41:21 And they weren't fools, friends. And I wouldn't be prepared to set a time limit because the Bible doesn't. But one thing is clear. Long before the child can be expert in verbal skills, long before he can express anything of virtue or of vice with his words, he manifests.

41:44 He manifests a perverse will and a sinful disposition that must be met with the rod of correction. Let Bridges speak to us, page 323 on this text. When we get to heaven, we can thank him for ministering to our hearts. But the great force of the rule that is chastened by sun is its timely application.

42:13 That is, While there is hope. For hopeless the case may be if the remedy be delayed. The cure of the evil must be commenced in infancy. Not a moment is to be lost.

42:33 When good can be effected with the most ease and the fewest strokes, the lesson of obedience should be learned at the first dawn. One decided stroke. One decided struggle and victory in the very early life may under God do much towards settling the point at once and to the end. On the other hand, sharp chastening may fail later to accomplish what a slight rebuke in the early course might have brought.

43:05 But is there not too often a voluntary blindness that does not choose to see what it is painful to correct? The false notion, Oh, children, will be blind. Will be children. I hate it when I hear boys will be boys.

43:21 What a cover-up. Sinners will be sinners. Boys or girls. Don't pass it over but children will be children.

43:32 Boys will be boys. He said, This leads us often to pass over real faults and consider their tempers and waywardness is too trifling to require prompt correction. Thus sin, winked at in its beginnings, hardens in all the strength of deep-rooted corruptions. Whereas, who would neglect their most trifling bodily ailment which might grow into serious results?

43:59 If they cannot be argued with, they must be controlled. How often have we found in afterlife the evil of fixed habits which early correction might have subdued with far less cost of suffering. Oh, what grace and wisdom is needed to discipline our minds. Judgment and affections to that tone of self-government which will enable us to train our children practically for the service of God and for their own happiness.

Failure 2: The Delayed Use of the Rod of Correction (Proverbs 13:24 revisited)

44:33 Chase in thy son while there is hope. While there is hope. And the delayed application of the rod of correction is often the great and tragic mistake that parents make. The second text, though not perhaps as clear, I still believe in my own judgment is persuaded it's a valid text, is back to the Proverbs 13.24 text.

45:01 He that spareth his rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chasteneth him, and then there's an old English word, betimes. Now I doubt any of you have used the word betimes in the past ten years in your conversations, not a word we use. The Hebrew word literally means early, and that's why the authorized version where it's found in the psalm, O God, thou art my God, early will I seek thee, is rendered in some later translations, earnestly will I seek thee. Sometimes, because someone who gets at a job early shows he's in earnest, certain context, the word is translated earnest or diligent.

45:43 So, with that word in the text, he that loveth him. He that loveth him chastens him early. Early when? Well, if early means diligently, that's true, but it may mean early literally. That is early in the dawn of the unfolding of that child's life.

46:03 True love will see the first signs of that which needs God's means of the rod of correction, and will apply itself early. Long before the...

46:19 The will is fixed into patterns, and the psyche is hardened into categories of response and non-response. We are under God to do it early. I was struck with this. I was in the home of one of our families this week, and they had just bought a dog.

46:42 And the place from which they bought it, being a responsible place, gave them all kinds of directions about the care of the dog, page after page. But on the directions for the training of the dog, very interesting. I think it was point number six. It says, speak once to the dog.

46:59 No nine-week-old dog. The dog must be taught to obey at your first command. I said, the Lord have mercy on us. The pet shops have got more sense than Christians with their Bibles.

47:15 The dog must be taught to obey at your first command. Think of it. The dog. No immortal soul, with no verbal skills, a little sweet puppy, can be taught to obey.

47:35 God have mercy on the more concerned for our dogs that they don't piddle on the rug, and that our children perish. Because through some mistaken notion, we think that we've got to wait until we can reason with them, and explain what we're doing. And there is the emergence of verbal skills before we apply. The rod of correction.

47:59 There's nothing in the scripture to justify that notion. Matthew Henry says, I quote, Do not say that it is all in good time to correct them. No, as soon as there appears a corrupt disposition in them, check it immediately before it gets head and takes root and is hardened into a habit. Oh, dear parents, while the stuff of the child is...

48:28 Get plastic and moldable. Chase him while there is hope. Don't set your heart in his destruction. Yes, be wise in this day when we must be unusually careful because of secular, bureaucratic invasion into domestic sovereignty by Dyphus and other outfits.

48:49 And when anybody can turn you into one of these bureaucratic agencies without any bona fide witness and someone is at your door, I'm aware of... All of that.

48:59 But the word of God is not changed. And we must, under God, be determined wisely as serpents and harmless as doves to implement the biblical concept of the rod of correction. And of the failures that I've observed over many years, I would say that the non-use and the delayed use are the most frequently observed failures. Now, God willing, if I'm given another...

Q&A: Delayed Justice and Child Discipline

49:28 Only to take up these others, I hope to be able to cover the remainder. They are lesser failures, less frequent. And if one is committed to these first two, the others almost inevitably fall into line. But I do want to address them because I believe they are matters of concern.

49:47 We have about three minutes before we close. Are there questions or comments that any of you wish to make? If my fellow elders want to add something from...

49:58 Other portions of the word of God, anyone at all?

50:05 This is what I'd hoped to cover with you this morning and felt it was enough. And I'm glad that we came in right about on target time-wise. But we do have a couple of minutes. Any questions?

50:18 Yes. Charlie?

50:24 Yes. Ecclesiastes 8 and verse 11.

50:29 Yes. This would be a good...

50:30 I'd even thought of using that text, but realizing that it applies primarily to what we would call more of the judgment... That is executed upon criminal activity, but the principle is the same.

50:46 Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the hearts of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. Men become fixed in patterns of evil doing when punishment is not swiftly executed. One of the benefits of corporal punishment is the...

51:09 is the... The example it sets to the other children, just as when there is judicial punishment by the civil governor in Israel, God said, others shall see and hear and fear and do no such wickedness.

51:24 And so in our society, if those who wantonly go into a grocery store and put a bullet through a man's head or through the policeman who comes in when the man calls for help knew that in three weeks' time they'd be in the electric chair, there'd be far fewer people walking around. And so in our society, if those who wantonly go into a grocery store and put a bullet through a man's head or through the policeman who comes in when the man calls for help knew that in three weeks' time they'd be in the electric chair, there'd be far fewer people walking around. Regardless of the so-called statistics. The word of God says it is a deterrent.

51:46 I don't care what the statisticians say. God's word says that it's a deterrent. And because execution is not speedily brought upon an evil work, men are emboldened, well the same way with a child. That little child, long before he can rationally think about manipulating you, is determined to manipulate you.

52:08 I had parents recently tell me, I don't know what to do, my child just won't take his Sunday afternoon nap. He can't spank a kid to sleep, can you? I said, well, why are you concerned? Well, he's falling asleep in church Sunday night.

52:21 We're not talking about a two-year-old. Talking about at that time, I think he was a six, five-year-old. Five-year-old. I said, well, you believe then that a nap is essential in order to keep the Lord's day?

52:33 Yes. Well, then the child must take his nap. So you go in and inform him. Five minutes.

52:39 Once you're coming back, if he's not asleep, you're going to spank him. It took one week, they said. He now takes his naps as regularly as clockwork.

52:49 If you want the couple, come to me. I'll tell you their name. If you think I'm making it up. I'm amazed how many parents say, well, my kids won't do this.

52:56 I say, won't? What do you mean, won't?

53:01 What you mean is you're not committed to make them. Now, don't go out and take a general rule out of that and say every single child can be mated. I did not say that. I was giving specific counsel.

53:14 To a specific couple regarding a specific child after getting all kinds of input. So don't go out and say, Pastor Martin said you can make any kid take a nap any time. He'll only knock the daylight out. I did not say that.

53:27 Please, please, please spare me. Heaven's people come to me saying, I understand. No, no, no, no, no. I didn't say that.

53:35 I didn't say that. What I'm saying is don't be so sure. Don't be so sure. That the rod will not impart.

53:44 Wisdom in many, many areas and make your life a lot easier unless you've tried it. Some of you mothers harassed with two or three little ones. Your own harassment is the fruit of your lack of discipline of those children. Children can be taught to go and play by themselves for half an hour to give you time to have your devotions.

54:06 And not come out and find they've pulled out all the pots and pans and turned on the stove and burnt their fingers off and all the rest. If they act like that when you're out of sight. It's. Those you've not mastered their will get on with it.

54:21 Otherwise, the harassment means just a snowballing of the horrible fruits of neglect. And you're so harassed by the lack of structure in the lives of your children that there's less chance of giving attention to them. And the thing snowballs and snowballs until you just got a horrible mess on your hands.

54:43 Well, God will help you sort your mess out, but start doing it while there is hope. Some of you may be perilously close to the place where there's no hope.

Concluding Exhortation and Prayer

54:55 God help us and spare us the fulfillment of that awful prediction. God grant that none of us will look back to this morning and say, oh, that's what Bridges was talking about. God help us. Let's pray.

55:13 Oh, our father, we feel the sobering weight of the awesome stewardship of the training of our children.

55:24 And we pray that your spirit. Would powerfully write upon the hearts of the parents of this assembly upon us who are grandparents as well. We may help as we give counsel and advice where it is sought. Oh, Lord, we ask that these biblical principles would be inscribed upon our hearts.

55:49 And that by your grace, we would not fall into the failure of the non use or the delayed use. Of the rod of correction. But that by the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we may use this means prayerfully, wisely, lovingly, judiciously in all the ways that your word teaches us to use it. Hear our prayer.

56:16 Forgive our parental sins for Lord. We have sinned. Wash us in the blood of your son and give us grace by the Holy Spirit. We plead in Jesus name.

Announcements

56:29 Amen. You have been listening to how not to foul up the training of your children by Pastor Albert N. Martin. These cassettes are distributed by the Trinity Book Service.

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56:58 Or if you prefer, you can write us at the Trinity Book Service Post Office Box 569 Montville, New Jersey 0704. Or if you prefer, you can write us at the Trinity Book Service Post Office Box 569 Montville, New Jersey 0704.